Roman was awake all night. He knew he told Seth and Dean he would give them time to think of a plan, but what plan could there really be besides the obvious one? He would need to talk to The Undertaker again and beg him to free him. He just could not continue like this. He couldn't keep putting friends and family as stake. The demon showed slight mercy most times by letting the large man scout targets and let them be judged. How long would it continue though?

John lost track of how long he laid silent in his hospital bed just wishing his dream had been reality and this was a nightmare. He had finally found a person who he connected to on a physical and emotional level and he had blown it. All he could do was hope Roman would come see him so they could talk.

Roman glanced at his phone. He then sighed and looked away. How many times did he repeat that action the last few hours? He then cast his eyes down at the dogtags that he had clenched in his hand. He knew he owed John something. He looped the tags around his wrist before he took his phone, opening the message screen. #I am going to make this right.#

John heard his phone go off and thankfully the low battery still allowed him to look at the message. His heart filled with hope as he read Roman's words. It sounded like his boyfriend wanted to be there for him after all. Slowly he replied. #Nothing to make right. You warned me but I pushed anyway. Please forgive me. I know I fucked up bad.#

#You're not the one that needs forgiveness Johnny. Please, just keep your distance.#

John's stomach dropped at the response and he hurried to reply before the phone could die. #You know I can never do that. Don't ask it of me.#

#I'm not asking, I'm telling you. It is not safe.#

A stubborn gleam came into John's eyes as he typed. #Well too bad Rome. Until you can look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me it's not happening. I love you.#

#I do love you...I do feel...that is why I have to do this. It will just keep happening.# Roman heard a knock at the door just as he hit send. He thought maybe it was Dean and Seth coming to check on him again. He got up, walking to the door and opening it.

"What the hell do you want?" He almost snarled at the figure at the door.

"Well, hello to you too, Roman." Kane greeted him. "May I come in?"

"Would you go away if I told you to?" Roman stated as he felt tempted to shut the door.

"More than likely not." Kane told him as he almost pushed his way inside.

"Well, sure then." Roman replied sarcastically. "Make yourself at home." He shut the door, turning to look at him.

"Had yourself quite a bender I see." Kane stated, picking up one of the empty bottles.

"Helps quiet things." Roman told him.

"Not enough though from what I heard." Kane cocked his head. "Collecting trophies now?"

"What?" Roman looked down. "NO!" He snarled slightly. "Dean brought them to me from the hospital...I started drinking after the accident."

"Accident? Is that what you're calling them now?"

"Shut up...if you came to lecture me just shut up and get out!" Roman growled out.

John's heart broke at the message but when he tried to reply his phone shut down. "Damn it!" He cursed, then cringed at the searing pain in his raw throat. He prayed Roman would not take his lack of response as an agreement.

"Now why would I need to tell you what you already know, Roman?" Kane asked with almost a smug tone. "You were told to be careful."

"Careful? I Fucking been trying to be careful for like the last...what six years?!"

"Yes...I was told of your last...relationship. We thought you learned your lesson back then. You allow yourself to go down that same path. You're lucky John made it...or are you?"

"He isn't telling anyone what happened." Roman sighed.

"You almost make it sound like you want to be caught." Kane sounded puzzled.

"I am growing tired and sick. I told Undertaker I want to be free of this thing. He refused though. Told me there was too much of a risk."

"Yes."

"Maybe you can plead my case?" Roman asked, looking slightly hopeful.

"And why would you think that?" Kane had to ask.

"You see how out of hand it is getting...please. I don't care what happens to me. We both know John very well may be a marked man."

Kane hummed in contemplation. "Something can be done. It will take time though. Keep him under wraps until I can arrange it."

"Th-thank you."

Kane stood up, heading for the door then leaving. He knew he had to talk to Hunter and convince him to schedule the extended time needed for the younger man.

xxxx

John was near panic that he couldn't contact Roman or even Seth and Dean. He tried to force himself to relax knowing the stress wasn't good for his healing body. As planned Dean and Seth headed back for the hospital after they both woke up and ate. They made sure they had Seth's charger with them before heading out.

John looked at the two men in relief when they reached the hospital and came to his room. He held up his phone, showing it had died. "We thought of that after we got back." Dean told him. "We brought Seth's cord. By some chance is your hotel key in your belongings?"

John nodded. "I was texting, Rome then my phone died." Seth moved to plug John's phone in to charge, noticing how pained the older man's voice sounded. "Throat still really sore?" John made a face and nodded again. "Hurts...like...hell...said I might go home today though...nothing more to do but rest."

"So...back to the hotel or booking a flight home?" Dean asked as he headed to look for the room key.

"Guess might as well go home...Hunter gave me two weeks off." John sighed. "Want to find Rome first."

"Um..well, he was at the hotel." Dean stated. "But, he's scared to see you."

"I know...we talked." John admitted. "He's scared and blaming himself."

"We know he is. He asked us to keep you two apart." Dean told John, sitting down.

"Sorry, Guys. Not going to happen." John said in a harsh whisper. "Unless Seth keeps me tied forever."

"Don't tempt me." The two tone haired man tried to joke.

"We just don't want to be in hot water with him, John. At least he sent you a text. It's something." Dean said.

"Yeah. He said he l-loves me but..." John's voice broke slightly and he tried to cover it up by coughing. "He said it's not safe...t-that he wants to make it right."

"Yeah...do you know what he meant?" Dean asked before looking at Seth. He knew John deserved to know, but he didn't know if he could handle it.

"No...do you?" John asked, looking between the two men. Seth gave Dean a look, not knowing what to do.

"We...we think so." Dean replied. He took a deep breath before looking at John. "He mentioned talking to the man that did this to him."

John sat up more in the bed, looking startled. "He can't do that. H-He told me it could kill him...or make him a vegetable."

"I asked him to give us time to think of something else, John." Seth told him as he turned on the charging phone. John's face paled as several emotions crossed his face at once anger, sadness, worry and desperation.

"Sorry, John. We know you deserved to know. He looked like crap when we found him. He was worried it had succeeded in killing you." Dean informed him.

"Fuck." John whispered. He saw his phone was only 10% charged but he grabbed it and hurried to type a text message to Roman. #I promise to stay away for now...but only if you promise not to do anything hasty.# He sent the message with his hands shaking.

Roman was already packing his room. He had time before his flight since he had to schedule something last minute. He heard his phone so he went to look. He sighed at the message. #How can it be hasty if I have been thinking it for months already?#

John began to shake with a mixture of rage, hurt and fear as he read the reply. He typed furiously, tears trailing from his eyes and not caring how he looked to Seth and Dean. #How could you? You were thinking of doing this for fucking months all the time we spent together? We made love. I thought I had a future with you and all along I was in the dark? Didn't I deserve a voice in this?#

Roman sat down, reading it over. #You're a big reason why. Can't you see that? It has been a thought in my mind since the first night at my house.#

"John? What is it?" Dean asked him as he went to put a hand on his shoulder.

"H-He was thinking about doing this for months." John said in a harsh whisper as he showed Dean the phone. "Telling me he loved me when the whole time he was thinking about doing this...I feel so betrayed." Seth moved to the other side of John's bed so he could look too.

"Fuck...maybe he believes it will have a better outcome than they told him?"

John shook his head. "He told me chances are he would die." The heart that the older man had trusted to Roman after years of meaningless sex began to break. He typed. #I don't want to hear it. You know what it does to me to be told it's because of me you'll likely be dead or a vegetable? It's very noble for you but I have to live with that the rest of my life.# Seth patted John's shoulder as he read what he typed.

#I'm sorry Johnny, I'll try not to say it again.# Roman replied.

John felt on a verge of a breakdown but he tried desperately to keep it together. #Won't you at least see me...kiss me one last time before you go do what you think you have to? Please, I don't want my last memory of you to be the hotel last night if something goes wrong. Please, Rome.#

#If the guys will be there...and maybe soon, so hopefully it will be sated enough. Plenty of booze too.#

John looked at Dean and showed him the messages. "Please?" He asked quietly.

"What is the story behind the drinking?" Dean asked. "Honestly it looked like he emptied a good part of a bar last night. I don't really remember seeing him drink before."

"We found out on my plane that Rome could...fully cum when he had drank wine." John explained, his heart hurting at the memory now seemed bittersweet. "He filled me again that same evening after having wine with dinner so we did some...experiments. Drinking seems to quiet its influences some."

"Drinking actually quiets it? Damn...I guess so, you okay with it Seth?" Dean asked.

"Sure. I wouldn't deny John seeing Rome." Seth answered, knowing how important it was to John.

John typed. #I'm getting released soon. You want to come to my suite? Seth and Dean said yes.#

#I had a commercial flight back home. Should I cancel?#

#Please. I need to see you before you go.# Even typing the word made John feel sad.

#I still have my key for the suite. Meet you there.# Roman gathered what he had moved to that room to check out then head for the suite.

John sat his phone on the stand to charge. "He said he'd meet me...in my suite." His throat hurt like hell from all the talking but his only thought was Roman.

Seth nodded. "Okay, John. Just hope it doesn't make things harder."

"When may they be springing you and when is your flight?" Dean asked. "Also suggest no drink for you except warm tea with honey."

"Haven't booked my flight yet...guess I'll leave tomorrow." John said. As if on time the nurse came into the room with discharge papers and instructions for John to rest his throat and use a compress. Seth and Dean helped him redress and about an hour later they were on their way to the hotel, John in the backseat.

Roman had gotten to the room, still looked like a tornado hit it. He started to clean up, last thing John needed was to come back seeing it that way. Once done he looked to see what spirits the room service had to offer. Wine or beer. He picked a bottle of red wine to be brought up. He then tried to distract himself with TV until they got there or John called.

The guys reached the hotel and they made their way inside. John got a few odd looks due to his bruises but he ignored them and kept walking. He slid his key to unlock the door once they made it to his suite, not knowing if Roman would be there yet and slowly walked in, Seth and Dean behind him. Roman looked from the couch. The regret, fear, hesitation all clearly present in his pale eyes. His heart sunk even lower seeing the marks caused to John's body.

John felt some of the same emotions as he stood quietly a moment just looking at Roman. He was so happy to see the younger man but at the same time worried about the future. Seth shut the suite door, feeling like they were disturbing a private moment. "Rome..." John said in a quiet voice before walking to the couch to hug him. Roman instinctively wrapped his arms around John to hold him. Before he even realized or could stop it he was crying...no...balling against the older man's shoulder. Dean couldn't help but stand there shocked.

Roman's tears were like a chain reaction and John began to cry as well, letting out the emotions he tried to hide in the hospital. He stroked the long hair, his heart aching like never before. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I should have listened and let you go." Seth wiped his eyes as he watched the touching scene, the sadness and despair hung heavy in the room.

Roman had trouble forming words until he could calm down. He slowly pulled his head away. "I should have put an end to it a long time ago."

"Then...you wouldn't be with me." John said as he looked at Roman. "C-can I lay down? With you nearby?"

"Yeah...should be okay." Roman told him.

"If your are more in control after it gets out...and you drink...are we really needed?" Dean asked. "Honestly...what could we do to stop it if it tries something?"

Roman sighed thinking. "Not much I guess"

Seth nodded. "John looks like he needs to relax and you guys should have privacy."

"Okay...sure you'r okay with that, Johnny?" Roman asked. He wanted John to feel safe.

John nodded. "Yeah." He was a little hesitant but had to remind himself as long as he didn't do anything to bring out the demon he would be okay. "I just want...to be with Rome."

"Just plug your phone in." Dean told him. "We are just a call away." John nodded before moving to plug in his phone by the bed. Seth said his goodbyes and the two guys excused themselves.

"I'll try not to break that trust." Roman stated honestly as he removed his shirt.

"I know." John nodded as he slowly moved to strip down to his boxers. "I'm s-sorry about the angry texts...I was just hurt."

"I don't blame you at all, Daddy...I was stupid."

John looked hopeful as he sat on the bed. "So...since you said stupid...does that mean you won't go through with it?" It warmed his heart to hear the sweet term Daddy used again.
"No...stupid and a coward for not doing it a long time ago. Sorry, Johnny, I can't let this continue." The spark in John's eyes faded to a blank emptiness. He just nodded, unable to form the right words as he moved to lay down. "I know, not the answer you wanted."

"Yeah." John said in a choked voice. He closed his eyes, willing away the tears that wanted to come.

"Be honest...could you really live with the fact that someone you know goes out to kill over and over again. More so they would come back to share your bed?"

"If it wasn't their fault...and they killed criminals...it's better than the alternative." John replied, eyes still closed. "I can't lose you, Baby."

"Not always" Roman whispered.

John opened his eyes to look at Roman. "I thought...you said they were bad people...who all deserved it?"

"Most were...not all sadly." The Samoan admitted. "Some were just unfortunate souls who got in its way."

John gave a shaky sigh as the truth washed over him. Silence hung heavy in the room before he spoke. "I know...it's something you have to do...I hate it but I know it now. I don't know how I would feel if we had sex...and I was faced with it again...my attempted murderer..." His voice broke. "It's hard...so hard...but you're right. You don't deserve life as that thing's puppet."

"I'm sorry, Johnny...thank you though." Roman didn't know why but he felt comfort in John's acceptance in the matter.

"When do you have to go?" John asked, trying not to appear as devastated as he felt.

"Wasn't told yet. They said they had to make some arrangements first, then they would let me know. Hopefully before it grows too strong again."

John nodded. "Think I'll head to my place once you leave...I'm off two weeks."

"Well, it may be a few days...or longer. You want me to fly back with you?" Roman asked, sounding a little unsure. Why couldn't he just give John a clean break?

John looked relieved at Roman's words because he had expected his lover to leave today or tomorrow. "Sure...I'd love that."

"Okay...damn, wonder what Hunter would do if I just went AWOL?"

"Yeah...you may need to talk to him." John had talked so much his throat felt ripped to shreds. "C-can I rest a bit?"

"Yeah...sorry. We can order you soup or something soft later."

John felt near passing out from all the stress his body had endured the past hours. "Lay by me?" He asked in a husky voice.

"Of course." Roman moved to the bed, slipping under the covers. John shifted until he was close to Roman, his tense body relaxing as he felt his boyfriend's body. Roman moved to lightly hold John. His heart wanted to be cold and shielded, but it was already breaking for the older man.

"Love...you...Baby." John whispered as his eyes closed again. "Please remind me to contact Ran later before he goes to the hospital."

"Love you too. How about you text him quickly? Just let him know you are out, but resting?" John slowly moved to take his phone from the nightstand and sent Randy a text. He then collapsed back in bed beside Roman and his body fell into an exhausted sleep.

xxx

Randy was pacing in his room. "Randy...will ya just sit down and try to relax?" Sheamus asked him from the couch. "Ya been pacing most of the night. Ye keep going ye will be puttin a hole in thee floor."

"How can I be calm? My best friend...practically family was brutally attacked. He could have been killed and the hotel and police have NOTHING!"

"Does pacing really help ya think? Let me order ya something to eat." Sheamus tried to soothe him.

"I'm not hungry." Randy scowled. "I can't shake the feeling of who it was."

"What because of a comment John made months ago? He told ya it was a misunderstanding."

Randy sighed. "I know...I know. Just John said it happened so fast, yet the guy said stuff to him. It doesn't make sense." Randy's phone went off and he went to get it. "Well, he's out of the hospital. Said he is resting for now. I'll need to go see him later."

"He still here?"

"Yeah he goes home tomorrow."

"Fine, we both can go." Sheamus smiled. "Just let me run to thee store."

"You're not going to try one of those crazy home remedies are you?"

"And why not? They work don't they?"

"Yeah, I guess." Randy relented.

"Fine...so ye want to come with me?"

"Might as well, give me a distraction." The two men got ready and headed out for the day.