What's With The Broody Porcupine?

Sekhmet was anxious, a slow gnawing deep in her gut. Her mother was sitting in the library doing a cross stitch, Sekhmet smiled seeing her. Her mother looked every inch a Kirkwall noble. And for just a moment Sekhmet envied her mother's ease in such a noble setting. She herself still felt like an imposter inside the large estate.

She settled herself next to her mother and enjoyed her mother's soft smile. In a moment it would likely be gone. "Mother?" She prompted gently.

Her mother's smile deepened. "So you're here for a favor then?"

"Of a sort, yes. It's about something of papa's. Anders has been using this cracked and damaged staff for years and while we were out on the coast it splintered even further. I was thinking about giving him papa's staff." She waited for her mother to erupt, to yell at her or something.

Leandra sighed, "Is that why you invited him to dinner this evening?"

Sekhmet looked away; her mother looked so disappointed it was hard to look at her. "Partially."

"And how do you think a prospective husband is going to feel about you giving your father's things away to another man?" Her mother asked quietly.

Not this again, she had really hoped her mother had given on all this marriage business. "I have no plans of marrying anyone while I'm in love with another man. It wouldn't be fair."

"He's a damned fool. It's been nearly four years, how long are you planning on waiting for him, Sekhmet?" Leandra's tone started sharp but softened to sadness at the end.

Sekhmet took her mother's hands in her own. "As long as it takes."

Her mother shook her head, "Sometimes I swear you're touched, girl." She sighed, "Very well, give the staff to your handsome mage."

She kissed her mother softly on the cheek, "Thank you." She went to retrieve the staff and clean it up a bit after its years of disuse.

Anders arrived a few hours later looking decidedly uneasy. Sekhmet was as nice and accommodating as she could be. She didn't want Anders to leave before she had given him the staff. And she knew her mother would be upset if he left before dinner, especially since she had worked so hard on it all day.

Her mother was sweet and charming all throughout dinner and though Anders still looked awkward and nervous he was sweet and charming with her as well. As for Sekhmet, she and Anders didn't talk much to each other but dinner was still fairly enjoyable. And with dessert Anders finally relaxed, small smiles and even a few chuckles peppered their very safe conversation.

As the evening wore down Sekhmet excused herself from the table and asked Anders to join her. All the tension immediately returned but he stood and followed her nonetheless. She ushered him into the library and shut the door behind them.

"I have a present for you." She started as he turned and looked at her, worry creasing his brow.

"What is all of this about, Hawke? First dinner and now presents?" He was watching her warily.

She smiled a little, he was always so suspicious. "I invited you to dinner, because I can't trust you to eat on your own. And I have a gift for you because…well because we're friends. And…maybe I do have an ulterior motive." She walked to the corner where she had set the staff earlier.

Anders sighed heavily. "Hawke, you can't give me…" he stopped when he saw the staff in her hand.
"What is that?"

She laid it in his hands, "This is your new staff."

Instead of a smile as she had hoped for, he scowled, "Where did you get this?"

"It's a present, Anders. Stop asking so many questions and just say thank you."

He slid his hand along the golden length and touched the curved arch at the top, studied the sculpture of a woman, his brow furrowing. "This is a very powerful staff. And that is a rather unique design. So, I'm asking again, where did you get it?"

She rubbed her forehead, the man could be so damned stubborn. "It belonged to my father."

His head jerked up sharply, "I…I can't take this."

"Yes, you can. Please, it's just been sitting around not being used at all. And your staff is broken and can't even channel energy right anymore. I can feel it when you cast."

Anders closed his eyes, clearly frustrated. "Hawke."

"No, stop it. Just take the damned thing Anders." She turned and left the room battling frustration and anger. The man made her want to tear her hair out half the time. He'd rather keep using that broken nearly useless staff than the perfectly serviceable and powerful, by his own admission, one she had given him.

He followed her, of course. "Hawke, I'm sorry. Thank you."

She smiled at him, "Now that's more like it."

"Only for now though. I'm going to have my own made with the enchantments I would like. And when I do, I'll be returning this one."

By the set of his shoulders she decided not to argue with him. "Fine, if that will make you happy. You might want to talk to Master Ilen about a new staff. I spoke to him about the possibility before and he seemed quite interested in helping. And I'm sure Sandal would be more than happy to help with the enchantments."

He nodded faintly. "Thank you, I will. It's getting late, I should really get going."

She nodded, "Thanks for coming."

A long pause from Anders, "Thank you for the invite, and thank your mother for dinner, it was delicious." He turned and left the estate, her father's staff in hand.

They had always suspected that Danarius would return for Fenris at some point. Even Anders, who couldn't stand the elf, could see what an asset he was. He was skilled in fighting to begin with and the talents his lyrium tattoos lent him made him all the more impressive.

The four of them had been heading to check on the workers at The Bone Pit; Anders still thought it was a terrible name for a mine. They were doing a favor for Hawke's partner when they were ambushed. Slavers and mages both blocked their path.

When they had called for Hawke to return Fenris to them Anders had mixed feelings. He was personally against slavery, but Fenris and he were far from friends. Fenris was not shy about hating mages and thinking they should all be locked up or worse. Add to that the fact that Hawke spent so much time soothing his bruised ego and it wasn't hard to want him gone.

Knowing that jealousy was at least a small factor in wanting to get rid of Fenris he kept his own mouth shut and left the decision up to Hawke. Anders knew all too well she would never turn the elf over. He watched as Hawke's face contorted in rage when they called Fenris a slave.

"Fenris is a free man!" She screamed back at them.

"I won't repeat myself, step away from the slave now."

Fenris suddenly glowed a bright blue, "I am not your slave." The tendons on his neck stood out as he snarled then drew his weapon. The battle was short and brutal; reflecting the elf's obvious rage over being tracked down once again. Anders concentrated on healing while Fenris and Hawke dealt with those closest to them. Varric and his crossbow, Bianca, took out the slavers on the cliff above them.

As they put away their weapons Fenris noticed one of the mages was still moving. He pounced on him quickly, "Where is he?"

The mage was pathetic, "Please don't kill me." He whimpered.

Anders almost felt sorry for the mage, there was no way Fenris would let him live.

Fenris smashed his face angrily into the ground, "Tell me."

"I don't know. I don't know I swear." His words came out all in a rush. "Hadriana brought us. She's at the holding caves north of the city. I can show you the way." The man sounded almost hopeful.

Fenris sneered, "No need. I know which ones you speak of."

The mage sagged, already knowing his fate, "Then let me go. I beg you. I swear I won't"

Fenris cut him off, "You chose the wrong master." He grabbed the man's head and twisted it, easily snapping his neck.

Anders shuddered at the sound and Varric looked a little pale as well, but Hawke didn't seem to be fazed by it at all. Not for the first time Anders wondered what kind of life she had left that none of the gory things they saw seemed to ever bother her. Anders had spent a year fighting Darkspawn and he still was bothered by some of the things they saw and did when they travelled together.

Fenris stood, his whole posture rigid, "Hadriana," the word came out sounding like a curse. He turned back to them, his face a mask of anger and hate, "I was a fool to think I was free. They'll never let me be."

Hawke was calm; she had long ago become accustomed to Fenris' mood swings. "This is someone you know?"

Fenris' anger seemed to dissipate a little in the face of Hawke's calmness, though he was still clearly bitter. "My old master's apprentice, I remember her well, a sniveling social climber that would sell her own children if she thought it would please Danarius. If she's here, it's at his bidding. I knew he wouldn't let this go." He worked himself back up and was nearly shouting at the end.

"Then why are we standing around?"

Anders sighed; hunting down a magister was not exactly how he had planned on spending his day. He couldn't fault her though, Hawke responded with the same eagerness to help when any of their companions came to her with a problem.

"The holding caves held slaves in the old times, but apparently they are no longer abandoned." Fenris got a gleam in his eye as he continued, his voice almost manic sounding, "We must go quickly, before Hadriana has a chance to prepare…or flee."

It took them a couple of hours to reach the holding caves and just before they entered Fenris stopped them. He seemed calm now, at least, and that was a good sign. He wasn't nearly as good a fighter when he was agitated. "We must be careful. There were many such holdings once, especially in the mountains where individual slavers kept private pens. They were designed to protect against raids by fellow slavers. No doubt it's why Hadriana chose this place."

Hawke was clearly surprised, "Do slavers attack each other often?"

Fenris gave a brief nod, "They did. What better way to find slaves than to steal them?" He sighed, looking a little tired, "The holdings outside of Tevinter have mostly been abandoned, but they still exist."

"Hadriana won't escape us."

"Let's hope this isn't a waste of time." They stepped into the cave and when they were only a few feet in Fenris paused, "They're still here, good."

Anders wasn't sure how Fenris could possibly know that but he was on his guard nonetheless. They walked down the hall and into a room with a blood soaked table in the middle of it. The blood was still fresh.

"See for yourself, the legacy of the magisters." Fenris' voice was nearly a growl behind them.

Anders stomach turned, and he barely managed not to gag. "Blood magic."

Fenris glared at Anders as if he had been the one performing blood magic, "In a society where mages rule, they find many ways to justify their need for power."

As much as Anders wanted to tell him where to shove it he kept his mouth shut. Anders hated blood magic as much as anyone and he had good reason to. But his reasons were not for people like Fenris to know, the elf probably wouldn't care, would likely still accuse Anders of being capable of it. As they left the room they were attacked and Anders focused on the task at hand, swallowing his anger at the single minded and often quite dense elf.

A few chambers in they heard a woman's voice calling for help. As they entered they found a young elf surrounded by slavers. The four of them managed to kill the slavers quickly and to save the slave from whatever they had planned for her.

As they approached her Fenris looked her over quickly, "Are you hurt?" His voice dropped and became a tad cold, "Did they touch you?"

Anders looked at Fenris speculatively. Had he been abused? Or had it been someone he cared about? Clearly, the idea affected him very deeply.

The elf girl was beside herself, she couldn't understand what was going on. All she knew was that suddenly Hadriana had started killing people including her father. Anders couldn't help but to feel a little guilty, would the slavers and Hadriana have killed so many people if they hadn't known that the four of them were coming? Was it their fault that all these people were dead?

Fenris apparently felt something similar, as the elf explained that Hadriana was afraid for her life and so needed power he hung his head in apparent shame. Anders was surprised the elf could feel remorse. It seemed all he could feel was bitterness and anger.

"I don't understand, we tried to be good." The elf woman, barely more than a girl if Anders was to guess, looked so confused.

Only Hawke seemed to have the presence of mind to get to the heart of the matter. "Is the magister still here?"

The elf girl nodded, "I think so. She said they were to prepare for battle, I think she's very frightened."

Fenris' eyes narrowed a little, "She has every reason to be."

The young girl was so afraid of Hadriana that she begged Fenris not to hurt her.

Hawke looked surprised. "You're just a slave to them, property to be used."

The elf girl shook her head in denial, "Everything was fine until today."

Fenris let out a heavy sigh and bowed his head, "It wasn't, you just didn't know any better."

The girl suddenly looked eager, "Are you my master now?"

Fenris recoiled at the idea, "No." he practically yelled at the poor girl.

She was on the verge of tears from his outburst. "But…I can cook. I can clean. What else will I do?"

Hawke took a small step forward shifting the girl's attention to her. "If you go to Kirkwall, I can help you."

The girl looked immediately relieved, "Yes? Oh praise the Maker, thank you." She took off running out of the caves.

Fenris whipped around to glare at Hawke, seething, he hissed at her, "I didn't realize you were in the market for a slave."

Hawke didn't back down but glared and snarled right back, "Since when does telling someone you can help mean you're looking for a slave? I gave her a damn job, Fenris."

Fenris seemed to almost shrink at little at her angry declaration, "Ah, then…" he looked away from her, unable to hold her gaze, "that's good. My apologies."

Anders shook his head in amazement, an actual apology, wonders never ceased. He still couldn't fathom why Hawke put up with the elf. He was good, yes, but Anders wasn't sure the aggravation was worth it.

Fenris turned and started to leave the room, "Let's find Hadriana and be done with this place."

When they found Hadriana a few minutes later Anders stepped back away from Fenris. Had he thought he had seen the elf angry before? Fenris glowed bright like a torch and his lips were twisted into a feral snarl at the sight of the magister. His whole body seemed strung tight like a bow string as they engaged her and the remaining slavers in battle.

With Fenris' rage the slavers were all dead in a few brief minutes. Fenris stalked towards Hadriana like the wolf he was named for stalked his prey. And Anders supposed that was exactly what the woman was, now that the tables were turned, Fenris had the power and Hadriana was at his mercy. Not that Anders believed the man had any.

Hadriana lay sprawled on the floor and as Fenris raised his sword Hadriana gave a desperate shout, "Stop! You do not want me dead."

Fenris almost smiled, "There is only one person I want dead more."

As she cowered from him she quickly continued, "I have information, elf, and I will trade it in return for my life."

Fenris scoffed at her, "The location of Danarius? What good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil."

Against the wall and unable to retreat further she tried again, "You have a sister. She is alive."

Fenris froze, clearly surprised, slowly he lowered his sword. Hadriana took the chance to sit up and continued quickly.

"You wish to redeem your life. Let me go, and I will tell you where she is."

Fenris flicked his gaze to Hawke who gave a small nod, "This is your call."

Fenris walked over to Hadriana and bent down close to her.

"I have your word?" She asked hesitantly.

Fenris gave a short nod, "Yes, you have my word."

Anders was shocked; he couldn't believe Fenris was just going to let this woman go after they had chased her all the way to the cave and slaughtered everything in sight on their way to her.

Hadriana's voice held a slight tremble as she spoke, "Her name is Varania. She is in Qarinus serving a magister by the name of Ahriman."

Fenris pulled back from her a fraction, "A servant, not a slave."

Hadriana nodded, "She's not a slave."

Fenris suddenly began to glow as he spoke, "I believe you."

Anders shook his head; he should have known the beast wouldn't be able to keep his word. He watched as Fenris reached into Hadriana's chest and squeezed. She let out a pained gasp, her face contorted in agony but she was unable to scream. She slipped almost silently to the floor.

Fenris spun away from her and didn't meet any of their eyes, instead he growled, "We are done here," and began to stride past them.

Hawke turned to watch him, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Even Anders was shocked at the vitriol with which he rounded on her, "No, I don't want to talk about it. This could be a trap. Denarius could have sent Hadriana here to tell me about this 'sister'. Even if he didn't, trying to find her would still be suicide. Danarius has to know about her and has to know that Hadriana knows."

His face twisted into that feral snarl again as he continued his tirade. "But all that matters is I finally got to crush this bitch's heart. May she rot and all the other mages with her."

Anders was angry, not only for Fenris wishing all mages to rot, but because Fenris didn't even notice how Hawke blanched at his words. And Anders couldn't keep holding his tongue. "And here I thought you were unreasonable…"

Hawke's words were barely above a whisper when she spoke, "This doesn't mean we shouldn't look for your sister."

Anders shook his head; she was still trying to placate the elf, even after what he had said about mages. Anders couldn't even be surprised when Fenris rounded on her again.

"What else should it mean? Even if I found my sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her." His voice became louder and louder as he carried on. "What has magic touched that it doesn't spoil?" It suddenly seemed as if Fenris realized that he was upsetting Hawke, he bowed his head and covered his face. "I…need to go." With that he left the cave, disappearing before they could find him.

Hawke looked ashen and sick to her stomach. As they left the cave Anders offered to walk her home. She gave him a small smile but didn't respond, so he took that as a yes and stayed close to her as they returned to Kirkwall and headed towards Hightown.

Finally, Anders could take the long silence no more. He needed to say something,"Don't let him upset you so much. He's so busy calling everyone else monsters he doesn't even realize he's become one himself."

She shook her head, "He's been through so much."

Anders scowled, "Which one of us hasn't, yet he's the only one who acts like a complete ass."

"You're too hard on him."

"Why, because I expect him to have a little decency, a little common sense? I don't think that's expecting too much." He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. "He says mages should rot, knowing full well your sister is a mage, that your father was a mage and then asks you what magic has touched that it hasn't spoiled? Every part of your life, as far as I know, has been touched by magic; does that mean he thinks it has spoiled you as well, that it has ruined your whole life? Why do you defend him, or even stay friends with him?"

She touched his hand gently, "Because he needs a friend."

"If he wasn't such a colossal prick he'd have friends. Some people aren't worth wasting your time on."

"And if I listened to you, I wouldn't spend any time with you either. How many times have you told me not to waste my time on you?" She rubbed her thumb over the back of his fingers, "You're worth it Anders. And in his own way, Fenris is too."

Anders felt jealousy claw at him again but ignored it, a small part of him realized that his jealousy where Hawke was concerned was less than rational. "He's so selfish Hawke, I hate to see you throw so much of yourself at him and get nothing in return."

A small smile touched her purple lips, "My mother says the same thing about you."

Anders grimaced, Leandra wasn't completely wrong, Hawke gave him more than anyone ever had, and what exactly had he given her in return? He gave a short nod, "Alright. No more arguing."

They walked the rest of the way to her estate in companionable silence. She had slid her hood down and the moon shone on her white hair. It still fascinated him. She had pulled off her gauntlets and her pale skin looked almost luminous in the moonlight. Every so often his hand would brush against hers and he didn't know if was on accident or on purpose, but he felt oddly comforted each time he felt her skin touch his.

"How do you manage to stay so pale when we are outside so much?" He looked over his own tanned skin.

She shrugged, "I stay covered when the sun is out. I burn really easily so my choices are stay covered and pale or uncovered and red. Red is not a particularly good color on me."

"Were you born with the white hair?"

Hawke laughed, "You know people always stare, but they almost never ask. Actually, I was born with white hair. Apparently, it happens every generation or so in my mother's family. I just happened to be the lucky one this time around."

"It suits you."

She quirked a brow, "Are you trying to tell me I look old?"

"No, you're just unusual."

"I don't think so. I'm just a girl who wants to make things better for her family, any way she can. Seems common enough to me." Her steps slowed a little as they neared her estate.

"I never really took you for being naïve; do you really have no idea how extraordinary you are?" He asked with a small smile. It wasn't flirting, not really.

She stopped at her door and leaned back against it, hand poised on the latch. "I'm not naïve; I'm an idealist who fell in love with an apostate."

Anders felt his heart lurch in his chest. That was certainly not where he expected this conversation to go. He knew he was staring, even knew his mouth was open in surprise, but he couldn't get his mind to work enough to stop himself from doing either of them.

She didn't wait for him to respond; she unlatched the door and pushed it open. Anders was about to follow her in. She couldn't just say that to him then walk away, but he saw Fenris sitting on a bench in her foyer. Anders stopped and turned to leave; Hawke reached out and gripped his wrist.

"Please, stay." Her eyes were a touch sad, like she already knew what his answer would be.

He didn't want to disappoint her, but he couldn't stay not when Fenris was waiting for her. He only hoped the warrior had calmed down and wouldn't upset her again. He gestured to Fenris, "You have other things to attend to. Maybe another time." With that he slipped away before she could protest further because he really, really wanted to stay.

Fenris stood when she walked into the room but he wouldn't meet her eyes. "I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana." He paused and took a fortifying breath before he looked at her, "I took out my anger on you, undeservedly so. I was…not myself. I'm sorry."

She tried to keep her voice even. She really did believe what she had told Anders. Fenris needed a friend. "There's no need to apologize."

Fenris studied her for a moment, looking unsure. "You are generous." He took a deep breath. "When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment." He turned away from her, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. "She would ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep. Because of her status, I was powerless to respond," his voice was regaining a little venom, "and she knew it."

He turned back to her, his feral snarl back in place and she had to force herself not to take a step away from him. Not that she was afraid of him exactly; she just liked her heart right where it was. "Why are so many of my friends capable of killing me?"

"The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now…I couldn't let her go." He seemed to deflate again. "I wanted to, but I couldn't."

His swinging moods were dizzying sometimes. "What do you mean?"

"This hate…I thought I'd gotten away from it. But it dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again, to know it was they who planted it inside of me…it was too much to bear." He turned from her and headed towards the door. "But I didn't come here to burden you further."

Sekhmet felt a knot in her chest; it hurt to see him in this kind of pain. She knew more than her fair share about about letting the darkness swallow you. She had to reach out to him, offer him some kind of life line if she could. Fenris, for all his faults was one of the few decent people she knew. "We're friends, Fenris."

He paused for only a moment, not bothering to turn around, before he headed for the door again, "I'm not certain I know what that is."

Sekhmet thought for a moment about going after him, but honestly she wasn't sure she could do much for him. She still felt a bit emotionally raw herself, dealing with not one, but two emotional onslaughts from Fenris and making herself vulnerable by admitting her feelings to Anders. Right now all she wanted was to go upstairs and take a nice long bath.

It had all changed after Hadriana. Anders was afraid to be too close to Hawke after her confession and so avoided her as much as he could. Fenris became Hawke's constant companion, Anders never saw her without the elf lurking about. He felt his heart breaking each time the elf smiled at her, or touched her.

And what had Anders expected, he had rebuffed her advances for years, and when she had gotten the courage up to not just flirt with him but to actually confess her feelings he had hidden from her. He had spent weeks trying hard not to think about what he couldn't, shouldn't have. And he made sure to carefully avoid any mention of that confession. He just pretended it didn't happen. Did he really expect her to stay single forever?

Hawke and Fenris weren't affectionate together in public, and Anders was at least grateful for that small mercy. Fenris still lived in his abandoned mansion, but Anders felt the change in the two of them. She smiled more often around Fenris and his utter devotion to her was clear to anyone who saw them together. Anders wanted to ask her about them, or maybe confront her, he wasn't sure which. All he knew was that it hurt to see them together.

Surely, there were better choices for her than an elf that hated mages. It was why he, himself, was taking it so badly, wasn't it? That she had tied herself to someone who hated mages, to someone who could never understand her struggle to help her sister?

He could never decide whether he preferred being with her or avoiding her. Each was its own torment. "It's better this way." He told himself so many times that the words had become nothing but meaningless sounds to his ears. He often followed it up with a miserable, "Better for whom?"

He had to stop himself from acting like a jealous lover whenever the three of them were someplace together. Fenris stood just a little too close to Hawke and touched her arm just one too many times. Anders had made himself bleed one day when he had to actually bite his tongue to prevent himself from saying anything. And he was still finding broken glass in the clinic from when the idea of the two of them together had become too much for him to bear.

Hawke still flirted with Anders and gave him those sly little smiles and it made him feel crazy. He wanted to beg her to leave him alone, or to never leave his side. He spent nights wishing he had never met her, or that she was there with him, and other nights wishing he was still the same man he used to be. No woman would ever have been able to affect that Anders like this.

He was a mad jealous thing, and though Hawke seemed oblivious the others noticed.

"Just set him on fire and get it over with."

Anders closed his eyes, "Please Izzy, not now."

"Why do you come here? All you do is glare at him all night, you never drink and you barely speak to her or anyone else for that matter."

"Why do you care what I do?"

"I…I don't." She mumbled quietly.

Anders turned to look at her. "Isabela?"

"What?"

"What is all that about?"

"Nothing, I just don't know why you torture yourself." She gave him a defiant look. She glanced over to where Varric, Hawke and Fenris were sitting and talking. Sliding her gaze back to Anders she gave him a too slick smile. "I could help you relieve some of that tension if you'd like."

Anders sighed, as least some things never changed. "Sorry Izzy, not in a sporting mood."

"I can see that, you're pouting."

"I'm…"

"I don't know why you don't just go over there, grab her and kiss her senseless."

Anders chuckled at the image. "I doubt she'd appreciate it."

"I don't know. Most girls like to be swept off their feet. She's not that different. Not to mention she's an incredibly good kisser."

Anders arched a brow, his curiosity almost getting the better of him before he shrugged noncommittally. "Someone beat me to the punch."

She gave him a speculative look. "Did they?"

"Looks that way."

She gave him a cat like smile. "Looks can be deceiving." With that she strolled over to the table where their three companions sat. She leaned down and whispered in Fenris' ear and he smiled. He stood, wrapped his arm around Isabela's waist and the two of them left the tavern.

"Well, that's…interesting." How had he missed that?

Varric looked up spotted him and waived him over. Anders was about to decline when Hawke turned and saw him. She smiled, and it lit up her whole face. Anders tried to smile back as he stood to join them.

"I feel like I live on a teeter totter." He thought to himself, "I'm up, I'm down, I'm up, I'm down." He sat down between Varric and Hawke where Fenris had been seated. "Hey guys."

Hawke turned to Varric and smiled, "Wow, he's actually talking to us."

Varric grinned, "Must be the voices in his head weren't amusing him enough this evening."

"He even smiled."

Varric shrugged, still grinning, "Maybe his glower is worn out."

She laughed and touched Anders' hand. "It's good to see you smile. I thought you might have forgotten how."

Anders carefully moved his hand away from her touch. "I did, thankfully I finally remembered."

"I haven't seen that much of you lately, other than you sitting in the corner by yourself."

"Oh." Anders didn't realize she had known he was there.

She giggled, "I made sure to bathe today. Varric said I might have been scaring you away."

Varric laughed, "I did not."

"Well you should have. See, I take a bath and he finally comes over. What kind of friend doesn't even tell you when you need to bathe?"

"Maybe you should start asking, like Isabela." Varric smirked.

"Maybe I should."

Anders found himself grinning. He had missed nights with the three of them sitting around talking. They were one of the few times when he felt normal and comfortable.

"You know Hawke, it could have just been that elf full of 'mage be gone' you've been dragging all over Kirkwall with you."

Hawke looked at Varric and rolled her eyes. "I know. It's like he's afraid to leave me alone. If it wasn't for Isabela I don't think I would ever get any time to myself. I wake up every day afraid to see that he's started camping out on my front step. He'll work through it in time, I'm sure."

Anders quirked a brow, "Work through what?"

"Through feeling like he owes me. Apparently, helping him with Hadriana surprised him. Not to mention it seems to be his way of apologizing for the nasty things he implied about my family, considering they're mages."

"I think he's just lonely." Varric chimed in.

Hawke nodded, "Me too. He's never even really had a friend."

"He's been following you around because you're friends with him?" Anders couldn't keep the incredulity or irritation out of his voice.

Hawke shrugged. "I guess."

"Huh"

Varric smiled, "I told you Blondie thought you two were lovers."

"I didn't…" Varric raised his eyebrow at Anders and Anders quieted back down. "Ok, maybe I did think you were lovers."

Flashing him her little smirk Hawke stood, "Nah, I haven't given up yet." She kissed Anders' cheek and headed to the bar to order more drinks.

Anders touched his cheek, it felt hot. He was blushing, and just how exactly was that possible?

Varric laughed, "I think you'll cave before she does."

Anders felt himself smile, "I'm beginning to think you might be right." He pushed his chair back a bit. "I should go."

Hawke set down a mug in front of him. "Sit, I'll behave."

"What if I don't want you too?" Anders felt a flush of heat rush through him at the thought. He watched her as she sat down, and couldn't make himself get up to leave, even though he knew he should. "Okay." He managed at last.

And she did, she was just Hawke for the rest of the night, feisty, funny, beautiful Hawke. And it was both enough and not nearly enough. He caught her staring at him a few times and wondered if it was as hard for her to play at friends as it was for him, especially now that her confession hung between them. Part of him wanted very much to hear her say it again.

He controlled himself though, enjoying their company instead. The days since her confession had been very lonely for Anders. A little humor and company was exactly what he needed. Varric's easy camaraderie was a blessing Anders sometimes forgot to appreciate. And Hawke's own kindness and smiles never strayed from what would be considered friendly.

When Varric caught her yawning he kicked them both out. "Blondie, be a good little mage and take the nice woman home."

She scowled at him. "I can get home by myself Varric."

"I'll take you. I don't mind."

She watched him for a moment. "If you're sure."

"Not even close." But he smiled and stood. "If you fall asleep, I'm not carrying you."

"See that Varric, can't even get the man to take advantage of me when I'm drunk and passed out. He's hopeless." She grinned at the dwarf who returned the smile.

She stood and followed him out of the tavern. The walk to her place was quiet, no bandits, no gangs, and no conversation. When they reached her door he had deliberately stayed back several steps. She turned back to look at him before she went inside.

"Thank you Anders." She fiddled with her sleeve. "I'm sorry I make you uncomfortable. I'll try to stop."

"Please don't." Anders' voice was quiet, he wasn't sure he had even spoken until she replied.

"Don't what?"

He closed his eyes; he had no idea, "Don't stop teasing me? Don't tease me? Don't feel sorry?" He really had no idea. "Good night, Hawke." With that he turned and practically fled down the street.