Thirty Eight.

Dragon Island seemed much more homely once they returned and Hiccup was desperate to rest in his little nest. Astrid had insisted on feeding him some very badly cooked fish stew and dry bread before he was allowed to rest and he had given up resisting her determination: he knew she wouldn't hurt him but he also knew she wouldn't take no for an answer either. She had insisted on seeing his leg and gently rubbing in the ointments, her hands surprisingly gentle. She had ensured that there was a good fire in the chamber they slept in and Hiccup had felt Toothless curl around his skinny and battered shape.

"Will you be alright?" Astrid asked him gently, tucking the fur around him. He stared up at her: after a return home, Astrid seemed safe. His green eyes blinked and he managed a very small smile.

"No, I'm good," he said sleepily. "A-Astrid…thanks for rescuing me…" She sat back.

"I was really worried," she admitted quietly. "Especially after Fishlegs told me you were desperate." He closed his eyes.

"If I couldn't be with Toothless, I didn't want to live," he admitted, "because Dad would never let me go. I would be his prisoner until he decided I failed him…" He curled up tighter. "I-I'm sorry. I put you in danger…" She sighed and poked the fire.

"Get some sleep, Hiccup," she said quietly. "You're safe here." He gave a small smile and extended his arm to rest his hand against the warm black scales of the Night Fury.

"Don't leave me," he pleaded quietly and she smiled.

"I'm not going anywhere," she told him softly as he drifted off the sleep. "I've got nowhere else to go," she added desolately.

The scream woke her in the middle of the night, the desperate howl of Hiccup echoing through the gloomy chamber. She started up, her hand automatically reaching for her axe but her eyes adjusted to the reddish light of the dying fire and saw the boy bolt upright, his bruised face twisted in terror and arms waving to ward off the unseen shade of his father, closing in to take something even more from the trapped boy. He was pressed back against Toothless, who was looking at him with sad, green eyes and rumbling and warbling gently to try to reassure him. Tears were streaming down Hiccup's face from his unseeing green eyes and he was trembling from head to toe.

Astrid rose slowly, her eyes meeting those of the Night Fury. She didn't want to alarm or upset Toothless, who was extremely protective of his rider but the dragon gave a gentle croon that invited her close and she slowly crawled to his side.

"Hiccup?" she asked hoarsely.

"No, no, no, no, no…" he whimpered. "I won't. I WON'T!" He shook his head.

"It's okay-you're safe now," she tried. He waved his arms frantically, trying to ward her away.

"I-I c-can't…" he begged. "Dad-p-please…I can't live without Toothless…I c-can't be the Heir you w-want…I can't be a puppet…I have to fly…"

"Hiccup-you're safe…" Astrid called, increasingly worried.

"Please-kill me!" he sobbed. "Just k-kill me-if I can't fly, I don't wanna live…"

So she crawled forward and wrapped her arms around him. He stiffened for a long moment, then clung to her like a limpet. His head buried in her neck, his arms were vice-like round her body and he just sobbed. Quietly, she adjusted her arms around him and as he snuggled against her…and then she realised that he probably hadn't been hugged, properly hugged for years. His father had probably not hugged him since he was a small boy and his mother had died when he was a baby. Gobber wasn't the hugging type and there was no one else. So she hugged him fiercely until he relaxed and she was able to lay him down on his furs, wrap them tightly around him and relax. She looked up at Toothless.

"Look after him," she sighed then crawled back to her own furs and curled against Stormfly. But her eyes drifted over to the little curled shape and she felt herself begin to worry. Hiccup had endured everything the village had thrown at him for years and had never broken-but what Stoick had done in the single day he had imprisoned the boy had been bad enough to make him want to die. And she had no idea how to deal with it. Astrid was a warrior and all her training had been focussed on that goal: become the best warrior and Shield Maiden on Berk, to regain honour in Dragon Training and Battle for her family. But she had rudimentary skills in medicine-mainly wounds expected for battle-and almost the opposite of the ability to cook.

She lay down closer to her dragon and forced herself to close her eyes. Whatever she needed to do to protect and heal Hiccup, she would do. No matter how long it took…or what it cost Astrid.

oOo

The next few days were a blur as Hiccup struggled with his leg and with the after-effects of his imprisonment. He was at times withdrawn, fearful and angry-though never at Astrid, merely at the world and at Berk and his father. He ate little and had to be coaxed hard for almost every bite and every attempt at sleep was torn by horrific nightmares, all ending the same: Hiccup begging to be allowed to die.

Astrid fell into a dull pattern as she tried to care for him: waking early, making breakfast and heating water to wash, helping Hiccup treat his leg and take the powders Gothi had given him, going out training, hunting for food with Stormfly or Toothless (the dragons took turns to help her), making a tasteless but hearty stew or roasting meat badly for the main meal, training more or gathering wood or other supplies and then settling in for the evening. It was exhausting but busy yet it kept her away from Hiccup for long periods-not because she wanted to but because someone had to do all the basic things that needed doing to keep them alive and help him heal. But it was the evening when Hiccup, quiet and introspective, spoke to her.

"You could have just left me," he said quietly. Her haze flicked up to meet his and sighed.

"They had Stormfly," she reminded him.

"It would have been a lot easier just to rescue her and leave me," he said dully. Her fist clenched.

"But that was never an option," she told him tightly. "I promised I would come back for you. And I knew…how scared you were of coming back." She paused and took a deep breath. "I was wrong, Hiccup. I thought you would be better off back on Berk. I believed that your Dad had accepted you and would treat you fairly. I-I didn't want you to be exiled from home because of me. I-I…just wanted you to get better and everything you deserved." Hiccup have a small, bitter laugh.

"I got everything my father felt I deserved," he exclaimed. "A leg suited to my clumsiness, being locked up for my own protection, stopped working in case I embarrass anyone. A beating for speaking my mind…being shorn like a slave…treated like a possession…" He hugged his knees to his chest and buried his chin in his knees. "I-I was so helpless, Astrid. So utterly…Useless…" He screwed his eyes closed. She sighed.

"No one could have resisted Stoick the Vast-let alone a scrawny, sick, one-legged boy," she reassured him. "You couldn't have gotten out…" He looked up and his eyes were shining.

"But I couldn't do anything!" he burst out desperately. "I couldn't even climb down the stairs from my room, let alone get out the roof hatch! He wouldn't even listen to me, let alone take anything I said into account!"

"Hiccup-you're not on Berk any more," she said determinedly. "You don't have to worry about what you can't do any more. Think about what you can do-the things that make you Hiccup. The things you are good at!"

He buried his face in his arms and shook his head, breathing raggedly. With a sigh, she crawled to his side and wrapped an arm around him. "Hiccup-I know you can't see it now-but you are the most amazing person. Who else would have shot down a Night Fury, trained a Night Fury, built an artificial tail, fought a giant dragon and saved the whole of Berk? Hiccup-you are amazing. You just need to remember that!" He leaned against her and swiped the tears from his face.

"I just feel hopeless," he sighed.

"Hiccup…you are safe now," she tried to reassure him.

"You were so awesome," he murmured. "You were fearless."

"You know, you were far braver when you faced the Red Death," she told him. "I was scared-scared that we would all be destroyed, scared that you would die…and I was so much more scared when you were so sick…" He looked up and sighed. "Look-all I can do is fight, Hiccup. I can't do what you can."

"All I can do is work in the forge…and draw a little," he murmured quietly.

"Hiccup-I've seen your drawings," she murmured softly. "They are amazing! And the drawings of Toothless's tail…are incredible." He flicked his shamed gaze up at her and she realised then how horribly his confidence had been crushed by his experiences in Berk. He shrugged.

"I'm still the worst Viking…" he began and she sighed.

"Hiccup-why do you think you're the worst Viking?" she asked him.

"I can't fight, I am weak, I can't walk properly, I have been driven out by my tribe and I am just a disappointment to my father," he murmured wearily.

"You're a dragon rider and trainer, you make dragon saddles and tails, you can smith and draw, you speak several languages, you read and write well, " she said. "All I can do is fight. So let me make you a deal, Hiccup. I will help you recover and learn to walk and run again. I will train you and make you stronger and faster. I will take you through weapons training-because you were never given any weapons training, were you?" He gave a shamed shake of the head. "And in return, you will help me be a better rider and will help my reading and writing." He looked up.

"That's hardly any payment for everything you are doing for me," he said quietly. She stared at him in shock.

"Hiccup-you left home for me!" she told him in astonishment. "You refused the honours your tribe offered because I wasn't pardoned. I know I treated you horribly. I don't know why you gave everything up for me…" She looked away. "I am utterly dishonoured and shamed. I can never go home or see my family again. All I am offering you is some simple weapons training…that's hardly worth everything you've done." He blinked and looked up into her face and wrapped an arm around her.

"Astrid-I would have died in Berk if you hadn't rescued me," he told her gently. He took a deep breath. "Face it-we both owe each other. And we both need each other." He ghosted the smallest smile and his bruised face warmed slightly. "I'm probably not going to be a bundle of laughs, Astrid-but I am going to try. I don't want to be Useless any more. I don't ever want to feel as hopeless as I felt in my room, feeling that cutting my wrists open was the only option I had left." She wrapped her arms around him then and he returned the hug.

"Oh, Hiccup," she sighed. "If you ever feel despair or hopeless, just remember-I will always come for you." He gave a small smile.

"Thanks, Astrid."

oOo

His training started the next day when Astrid woke him when she got up. She had been allowing him to lie in the previous four days since they escaped from Berk but now she made him get up, wash and help her with breakfast. He was limping and stiff but once they had finished breakfast, she got him up and they put an extra layer on, then she started walking from the cavern. He stared after her and looked at Toothless but she barked "No!" He started.

"Wh-what?"

"Toothless won't be helping you, Hiccup," she said sternly. "You have to walk for yourself." He paled, the words unconsciously echoing what his father had said. But this time, the words had no contempt-only determination to encourage him to have the courage to extend himself. She paused at the entrance of the cavern and held her hands out, waiting for him. Gritting his teeth, he focussed on each step. Putting the normal leg down was easy, almost unconscious but it was different for his missing leg. The unfamiliar weight of the metal leg required conscious effort to lift and swing forward, then plant firmly, feeling the unfamiliarity of not knowing if his 'foot' was flat and secure on the ground. His stump stabbed red hot jolts of pain up his left leg as his weight rotated forward and he straightened his left leg. He felt himself wince as his weight now bore down through the stump and prosthetic and he felt his left hand move from his side because he felt unstable, unsteady. But he had pushed off his right foot and was still moving, his good leg swinging forward to reassuringly meet the floor again. It was almost with relief that he could lift his metal leg from the floor and swing it forward again, easing the pressure and feeling a heap more stable.

He frowned as his prosthetic landed again and he found he was looking carefully where his metal foot landed, because he got no feeling at all from the missing foot. He frowned a little as he felt his weight through the stump again but he was concentrating now, feeling how the pressure varied in his knee and on his incredibly sensitive stump as he placed the metal foot on the floor. His normal step was quick, turning his gait into an unbalanced limp and he consciously slowed the swing of his right leg, trying to even his balance. He looked up-and found himself standing right in front of Astrid, who was smiling gently at his face. He looked up defensively.

"What?" he asked. She grinned.

"You figured it out," she smiled. He looked embarrassed.

"Kinda," he murmured. "I think it's gonna take some practice." She nodded, then offered her hand.

"D'you need a hand now?" she asked. He looked up into her eyes and realised what she had done. He smiled.

"Actually, I'm good," he admitted. "It's gonna take a while but I won't get any better if I just lean on Toothless or you, will I?" She shook her head with a smile.

"Now, lets go and see what we can do to make you a little stronger," she said with a grin. "Race you to the entrance!" he stared after her.

"Hey-not fair!" he shouted and limped after her.

Over the next few days, he realised just what he had gotten into. Astrid knew what he needed and was absolutely determined to give him the skills so that he would never feel so vulnerable again. So she began strengthening him, making him walk and then jog, carry weights and fly. Astrid was clever enough to realise that flying would tone his muscles and especially his core and strengthen him. He found that she forced him to fly a lot more than even he would have planned-and at the same time, he was able to train her to fly and understand her dragon better. But afterwards, she made him help her carry wood and water up to their lodging and chop trees down for wood.

She had her axe only with her so she began to train him in the axe, realising that it probably wasn't his best weapon. He was left-handed-which posed a conundrum for her, though she figured out how to get him to hold and swing the weapon accurately. They practiced swordplay with sticks, concentrating on form and accuracy and she rapidly found that Hiccup had a quick and accurate eye and a real aptitude for the sword. His strokes were very fast and firm and he swiftly learned the trick to disarming her. As his balance improved, his speed improved and she quickly found he was challenging her hard. The day he beat her was a chastening experience and she was glad no one from the village was there to watch her lose to Hiccup…

And then she pulled herself up sharply. That was monstrously unfair to her friend that she was still thinking of him in such a derogatory way. She knew how talented he was in so many ways and she should be proud that her student had progressed so rapidly and that Hiccup-who still felt vulnerable and depressed-could count a victory in a combat against her as one of his achievements. She forced herself to smile at him and bow. He looked shocked and slightly worried.

"Er…Astrid…are you okay? You're smiling," he asked her warily. She dropped her stick and grinned.

"Actually, Hiccup, I'm smiling because I have just been beaten by my student!" she grinned. He took a step back, wondering if she was going to hit him.

"Erm…and you're okay with that?" he asked quietly. She sighed.

"Yes, Hiccup, I am!" she said more sharply than she intended. "Look, I am very proud that you have beaten me. I am pleased that you are a winner-and that you have improved so much."

"Your..er…face doesn't say you're happy," Hiccup told her carefully. "And…erm…you're not always very happy when you're not winning." She stared at him…then backed away. She took a deep breath.

"Hiccup-I promised I wouldn't hurt you," she said quietly. "I'm sorry you can't believe me. I-I…" Then she turned and ran and he sighed, dropping his stick. He was kicking himself for the words because he had seen the hurt in her eyes. He stared after her and groaned. There was no way he could run after her, let alone catch her…but he tried anyway, wincing at the sudden and agonising pressure on his stump as he bounded after her. Astrid was quick and strong and he was clumsy and much slower-even when he had both legs. He scrambled after her, tripping over a loose rock and landing flat on his face, scraping his chin and hands. He scrabbled up, wincing and pressed on, hitting the base of the slope and accelerating a little after her. She had dashed into the forest and he scrambled after her, tripping over several roots, scraping his hand and arm on tree trunks and getting his cheek slashed by a bramble.

"ASTRID!" he shouted as he paused, breathing hard. It was growing cold and his breath was starting to coalesce in clouds. "ASTRID!" He peered into the forest and could hear sounds ahead-so he scrambled on, tripping up again and slashing his good knee open. He winced and grabbed the injury-but he could hear the sounds of sobbing so he levered himself to his feet and limped forward. It was incredibly difficult to limp on both legs but he kind of managed it. He stumbled again and cried out as he tripped over another bramble and ended scratched all over his face and hands. He whimpered and crawled out of the patch, unable to get to his feet. He looked up-to see Astrid cornered by a huge titanwing Monstrous Nightmare.

"Keep still," he murmured. She looked across at him with tear-blurred eyes and gave a little nod. It had been easy, with their dragons and their comfortable little world around the cavern, to forget they were living on an island with lots of wild dragons. They had both been idiots, running off without any weapons and no caution at all. And now a furious looking dragon was eyeing Astrid up very menacingly. Slowly, he levered himself up to his feet, wincing as he jarred his painful stump. She got a look at him and gaped at the injuries he had managed to accrue in the few short minutes they had been apart. Her face twisted in a look of guilt. Fearlessly, he walked slowly towards the dragon, his left hand out and eyes calm and peaceful.

"There you go, fella," he said quietly. "You don't wanna cause any trouble, do you? We all just wanna live in peace here, Vikings and dragons…friends together. We're sorry we startled you, big guy. If you just let us go, we'll leave you alone…what d'you say, hmm?" And then he stopped, his hand mere inches from the dragon's snout. The huge beast could swallow Hiccup in one huge mouthful but the boy didn't hesitate, quietly closing his eyes and turning away, giving the dragon his trust.

There was a long moment where Astrid scarcely dared to breathe and quietly looked down, trying to calm her breathing. Then she saw a movement and the dragon firmly pressed his snout against Hiccup's bloody hand. The boy glanced up with a small smile, giving a gentle rub against the skinned palm. Hiccup winced slightly but maintained his smile.

"It's okay, fella-we'll go now. But friends, right?" The dragon rubbed and purred and then lifted his head, cast Astrid a look, huffed and crashed away. Hiccup sagged and watched him go then leaned forward and rested his skinned hands on his aching knees.

"Sorry, Astrid," he murmured and then felt hands on his shoulders.

"No, I'm sorry," she said in a tearful voice. "I-I was so stupid, running away. I really was proud for you and I-I just forgot…that you are trying very hard…" She sighed. "And then you…came and found me, even though…" She stared at him carefully. "What the Hel happened to you?" she asked more firmly. He sighed and wearily straightened up a bit.

"I fell over. A lot. Erm…sorry."

"But you just saved my life," she told him gently. "You're the person who couldn't do anything and who was completely Useless." he stared at her. "Hiccup-you ran after me down a rocky slope and through a forest when you could barely walk across a room a week ago. You have improved amazingly and despite everything, you still found me and trained a huge Monstrous Nightmare to save me!"

"Um, okay?" he managed, slowly turning to look at her. She released him and peered at his wounds.

"Those look nasty," she said worriedly. He gave her a lopsided grin, a little flurry of confidence trickling through his cold shape.

"I've had worse," he admitted and allowed her to help him back towards the caves. "Astrid-we are gonna need to leave here and visit another village soon. We need more supplies and more weapons. We definitely need swords, bows and knives." He paused and ran his hand through his shorn hair. "And we need to think of a disguise. Even without my Dad sending messages all over for me to be taken and sent back to Berk-which is a really possibility, by the way-the way I look at the moment, I may be mistaken for an escaped thrall." She smiled.

"I can arrange that," she said, helping him through the dense brambles and undergrowth. "Any idea where?"

"How about one of the Peaceable Isles?" he suggested. "Most of the other Tribes have Treaties with the Hooligans. I can maybe get some work in their forge and earn enough to get the weapons." She sighed.

"And me?" she asked. He smiled.

"I can't imagine the great Astrid Hofferson being beaten by anything!"

"Except a scrawny one-legged dragon rider," she grumbled as they hit the slope. "Okay-we'll get you patched up and head out tomorrow. I'll check what we have and we can make a list of what we need." He sighed and stared up to the gap in the side of the mountain.

"I suppose I had to go back to civilisation some time," he murmured. "I just hope Dad hasn't gotten there before us."

oOo

"Have the messages gone out?" Stoick glared from his chair by the flickering fire in Hoark's house. His own had been annihilated and Hoark had been the first of many to offer to take in the Chief until his home could be rebuilt. The entire village had been shocked at Hiccup's parting gift and the calls to Outcast the young man had been almost deafening-but Stoick had refused. He had other plans for his errant and recalcitrant son. Hoark nodded to his Chief, his eyes hard.

"To all islands in the Archipelago, Chief," he reported.

"And the message?"

"Exactly as you said. All other Tribes are to look out for your son, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, who has been ensorcelled by the traitor Astrid Hofferson. He is to be captured and brought home for his own protection. And she is to be killed on sight."