So, It's Come to That?

Dean went straight home after his talk with John. He found De entertaining her little brother in the family room. The two kids immediately jumped him with cries of 'Daddy' and he pulled them into his arms. For a long time, Dean thought he'd be dead by now, killed in a hunt gone wrong. He never believed he'd ever have this… a home, a family. What the fuck was he thinking, about to piss it all away because it was uncomplicated with Lisa?

"Daddy, you're crying."

Dean snorted. Leave it to De to not just notice, but blatantly point out. "They're happy tears, sweet pea."

She cocked her head and frowned. "But… I thought only Mommies had happy tears."

"Nah. Daddies have happy tears too. Just takes a hell of a lot more happiness to make 'em."

"What made you happy?"

"You. And Johnny and Martin and Mom." He kissed her on the forehead. "Now, you two play nice. I'm gonna go see how Mom's doin'."

He found Cassie awake, curled on her side in their bed new born Martin pressed against her and sound asleep. He smiled at the sight of them.

"I thought you were asleep."

She laughed. "Like I could actually sleep through the kids welcoming you home? How was your day?"

"Too damn long. I shoulda come home earlier," he said as he closed the door behind him.

He kicked off his boots and put a gentle hand on Martin's head as he leaned down and kissed him. Then he lay down facing her, one hand resting lightly on their son. "I love you. I love our family. You know that right?"

Cassie gave him a bemused frown. "I love you too, baby." Dean kissed her. She ran her fingers through the hair at the nap of his neck. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothin'. Just… 'm lucky to have you. Don't think I tell you that enough."

"You're sure nothing's wrong? I mean, other than the fact that the worlds goin' to hell in a hand basket?"

He snorted softly. "Ariel once said that having kids was an act of faith. Faith that we'll win, that the world will still be here for them to grow up in. Usually, I think she's full of shit when she says stuff like that but she's right. 'M not the kinda guy that has faith in a lot. But I believe that somehow we can survive this and our kids will rebuild this world."

"So, it's come to that?" Cassie asked, amused. "You, quoting Ariel?"

He laughed. "I guess it has."

He lifted Martin and laid him on his chest and pulled his wife closer to him. He held her until she fell asleep in his arms and even then he didn't want to let her go. His life was crazy and hectic and stressful, he and Cassie were still so different in so many ways. But he wouldn't give any of this up for anything. If the choice was this or Lisa, then it was a no brainer.

Two year old Matthew Ben-Guryon was curled up in Ariel's lap, fast asleep. She'd named him 'gift of God, son of the Lion'. The first part was Anglicized as Matthew and the second was in her native tongue. The little boy was clingy after her week-and-a-half long absence. He'd probably be back to his stubborn, independent self by the next day, but for now Ariel was going to enjoy having him follow her everywhere and letting her hug and kiss him as much as she wanted. It still amazed her that she'd had a child, that this boy had come from her body.

"I don't think we should tell him," Sam was saying as he paced in their living room.

She paused as she stroked their son's hair. "What? How can we possibly justify keeping this from him?"

"He'll just freak out."

"Yes. And most likely take it out on me."

"Like it'll bother you."

"Is that what you think? That having everyone pissed off at me doesn't bother me? I can just deal with it when I know I'm doing the right thing. Keeping this from Dean is not the right thing."

Sam sighed out a breath and sat down on the coffee table across from her. "You're right. I know you're right. But I know my brother. He'd risk himself in a heartbeat… but risking someone he loves? Especially De."

"I know. But there's nothing to be done for it now but accept it."

"He'll never do that."

"He'll deal with it somehow. Dean has always had a great ability to adapt to reality."

"It's just… I want things to go right for him. He deserves to be happy. What if he can't take anything else?"

"Than nothing else would happen. Whatever happens to Dean, he can take."

"You know, usually it's the mother-in-laws guys complain about."

She frowned at him. "What does that mean?"

He sat on the coffee table in front of her. "Why does your Father have to heap as much on us as we can take? Just keep pilin' on and pilin' on 'til we're just this side of our breaking point?"

Ariel leaned forward, holding their child against her with one arm, and put her free hand over his heart. "There's still so much anger in you."

"I just don't understand. How much more are we expected to give?"

"As much as it takes. As long as it takes."

"How can you be so accepting?"

"What is not accepting it going to do but make me unhappy? You accept your situation, and you look for the opportunities within it to do the right thing and make a difference. And you take joy where you can."

"But he just keeps crapping on us Ariel. Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"Keep faith with God and he will keep faith with you."

"How can you say that? Our lives suck!"

"Do they? Does our son suck? How about our marriage? Or LD? Or how about Dean's kids?"

"That's not what I meant," he protested, looking pained. He put a hand on Matt's head.

"You have got to start being thankful for what you have."

"I am thankful."

"We'll tell him the truth. And then we'll deal with it, as a family."

"He won't let her take this on."

"He will because he must." She moved her hand up to his face and cupped his cheek. "Everything will work out for the best."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I have faith."

"How? You see horrible things every day. Good people, innocent people, die. Children are sacrificed by their own parents. How can you still have faith?"

"I know my Father. I know what he can do, and what we can accomplish when we don't give up. Faith is not blind, Sam. Even when we are."

"You know, after being together this long, you'd think I'd start to understand your cryptic sayings. Or at least get used to them."

She sighed at took a deep breath. "We can't always see how things will end, or even everything that's happening at the moment. But faith is based on trust that whatever happens, however it happens, it will all work out for the best in the end. Our faith can see what we cannot."

"Even if my evil twin wins? Even if the world ends?"

"Even then. Because the end of this world is not the end of us, and once he's done with us he'll still have to deal with our Father. When God rouses himself in the sides of the North…" she gave a small shudder. "Darth Sam will not enjoy his victory long. But that doesn't mean we have to go quietly. I certainly do not intend to."

Payment of a Debt

"My daughter's what?" Dean stared at Ariel, stunned. He shook his head in denial. "No…. no, no, no. That can't be right."

"It is," Ariel said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? You're sorry?" Dean grit his teeth and bowed his head. "How the hell did this happen?"

"When you saved me in the desert, my second blessed her."

"Your what?"

"My second in command. He likely saw it as… payment of a debt."

"Really? He considered makin' my kid the only one who could kill the antichrist the same things as us rescuin' you from a freaking massacre?"

"You saved me, so he gave you the means to save yourselves."

"At what cost, Ariel? You know what? I shoulda listened to Sam and kept drivin'."

Ariel hadn't expected that to hurt. She blinked and tried to swallow it down, tried to keep her voice steady and her expression calm. "Maybe you should have."

Dean sighed. "Ariel… 'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"No. It's okay. If you hadn't saved me… this wouldn't have happened."

"Yeah. And we wouldn't have sanctuaries. I wouldn't have two awesome nephews. I'd do it all over again, if I had to. But… she's just a little girl."

"I know. She'll always be a little girl to you. But if anybody can do this, it's a child of yours."

"Why couldn't it have been me?"

"It has to be a child."

"My child?"

"It had to be someone's child. You need some time to think this through. Yell at God or fate or my second. When you're ready… come see me. There are things she must know."

"What if I don't let her do it?"

"Another cannot be blessed until she dies. And just because you don't train her doesn't mean her destiny won't find some way to be fulfilled regardless. King David was what she is. His father put him in the fields, tending the sheep. Far from war and weapons of destruction. He'd killed a bear and a lion before he was fifteen. He'd killed a giant during a trip to bring his brothers, all soldiers, food. He had no training, no knowledge of what he was, yet he was so skilled at killing Nephilim that he was able to train others to do it."

Dean sighed out a breath. "Damn it."

"Dean?"

Dean spun around to see Lisa at the end of the isle. He gave her a nervous smile and looked around to make sure Cassie wasn't nearby. "Lisa. Hey…"

"You haven't been by the bar lately."

"Yeah. Been busy. Work and family. Learnin' why they call it the Terrible Twos. You know the drill."

"Johnny's two already?"

"Yep," he said proudly. He wasn't around as much as he wanted to be, but it was still awesome to watch his children grow. He'd missed Johnny's first birthday, but he'd been there when he was born and he'd helped him blow out his candles for his second.

"Did I… did I do something?"

"No, Lisa. It's not…" Dean stopped and licked his lips nervously before starting over. If he was going to say it, he just needed to say it. "Nobody did anything and I want it to stay that way."

She snorted. "You've been sniffing around me for weeks, Dean."

It would be so easy to deny it, to say it had only been sympathy. But he remembered his father's words and squared his shoulders. "You're right. I'm sorry. Won't happen again."

"I don't want you to be sorry! I just want my son back."

Dean shook his head. "You've got no idea how much I wish I could help you out with that." Dean went wide eyed when he realized how that sounded. "In a very platonic way. Ben was an awesome kid, and now that I have my own I have no idea how you survived losin' him. But I can't get him back for you, and I can't help you deal with losin' him. I know you don't wanna hear it, but sorry's all I got to give you."

"You're the only other person alive who knew him."

Dean ran a hand down his face. "You need to make a life here that doesn't involve me, Lisa. I can't be whatever it is you need. That's not fair to me or my family. You got a lot to offer. There's so many people around here that lost their entire family. That need someone like you in their lives. I'm just… I'm not one of 'em."

Dean saw the tears as she turned around and walked away without another word. He hated making women cry. Dealing with demons and monsters was so much easier than dealing with people. Part of him wanted to go after her, try to make her feel better. But he couldn't do that. Instead, he wondered around the store until he found his wife and kids.

Half Truths

Dean was helping Cassie was the dishes after dinner. De and Johnny were asleep, but Marty refused to close his eyes. He was sitting in his bouncy chair happily babbling and hitting himself in the head with his rattle. He liked to do that a lot. Dean was starting to worry about the kid. But tonight, he was more concerned with the fact that he hadn't told his wife the truth. Not telling her about the idiocy with Lisa was one thing, but not telling her about Dena… that was something else altogether.

He didn't want to tell her. They rarely argued, and remembering the day he'd told her he was going to train De still tied his stomach in knots. She accepted it now, because De was in the same danger everyone was in. The world wasn't the same place it had been for her growing up and she accepted that their daughter would have to be capable of defending herself.

But that was totally different than telling her that the fate of the world might rest on her. That every evil son of a bitch on earth would probably switch their focus to her the minute they realized what she was. He'd gone on two hunting trips and was about to go on a third since Ariel had told him.

"De was blessed by and angel," he blurted out.

Cassie blinked at him. "What?"

"When Sam and me saved Ariel. There was an angel there. We had him watch her, keep her safe while we went after Ariel. He was so grateful he blessed her."

She frowned. "That's good… right?"

She sounded unsure and with the world the way it was, there was no wonder. She should be skeptical, Dean thought. "The supernatural has no effect on her."

"Oh, really? So the scorpion stings?"

"Just a scratch unless she got an infection from the wound."

"And… and Sam's evil double… he wouldn't be able to pin her down? Make her helpless?"

She sounded so happy , so damn hopeful, that Dean couldn't bring himself to tell her the rest. He could tell that she was thinking about her own close call with Darth Sam. "No. He wouldn't be able to do any of that." He went back to washing dishes, calling himself a fucking wimp.

"That is good, then. At least the angels did one good thing for us."

"Yeah," he said. He suddenly felt like the worst husband in the world.