Chapter 37

Thank you Wattle :)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are approaching SEA-TAC airport. Please ensure your personal items are stowed and that your seats are in the upright position."

Wow. That flight went fast. I yawn and stretch, and wiggle my toes. I'm not tall, but the extra legroom and space in business class is lovely. It was bittersweet saying goodbye to my mom again, especially as it was such a short visit. I know I've been independent for a long time, but I couldn't help feeling that I abandoned her to my own carnal needs when I was officially there to see her. I recall our goodbye. "Don't be silly, honey." She gave me a big hug at the airport. "You are welcome here any time, and you can bring Christian too." She actually has a tear in her eye and a wobble in her voice. "I'm just so pleased to see you so happy, and acting your age." I suppose by the time she was my age she was a widow with a young child. The older I get the more amazed I am that she held it together in any way.

"Thanks Mom." She's right, I am happy, although the relationship isn't what she thinks it is.

"We try our best as parents, we make mistakes, but we never stop loving our children." I love my mom; it takes a strong woman to admit her own failings.

"I love you Ana." She squeezes me tight. "Safe trip."

"I love you too Mom. Give Bob a big hug for me." She nods, and I give her a final wave as I go through security.

I check my phone as soon as it's safe to do so. I could just hear Christian if he thought I was breaking FAA rules. A message bleeps through immediately - from Christian.

- I hope that you had a safe trip. I will be in New York for another day. Sawyer will be there to pick you up.

Sighing in exasperation, I'm about to text back to say it's fine, when I realise that it's pointless. Sawyer will be there.

There's another beep, as another message is delivered. They must have been backed up on the server.

- and don't roll your eyes. The only appropriate response is 'thank you, Sir'

I see Sawyer and wave. He gives me a polite nod, and a 'Welcome home, Miss Steele.' When I get into the car and the interminable rain lashes against the windscreen, I am grateful I'm not waiting on the shuttle bus.

- Thank you, Sir.

His reply is nearly instantaneous - good girl. I can't help but smile at the praise.

Kate is alone when I get home, but it's obvious that Elliott has been here. She's opened the windows, but the apartment still smells of sex.

"Annnaa." She jumps off of the sofa and gives me a hug. "So nice to see you." She stands back and appraises me. "You look fantastic. Looks like the break did you good."

I have to agree with her. "oh, and seeing as you aren't going to tell me, Elliott did let it slip that Christian followed you there." Shaking her head, she laughs. "I can't decide if that was romantic or the work of a stalker. I think that boy has it bad for you. According to Ells, this is unprecedented behaviour." Ells? "Anyhoo," she continues, "In the meantime I'll keep it zipped, but if he hurts you, Ana, oh, he'll have such a shitstorm to deal with." She throws herself on the sofa. "So, tell me about his grand romantic gesture."

"Yeah, it was nice to see him. Actually, it was great just to have some time with him outside of Seattle." Ever the journalist sniffing out a scoop, she knows better than to wheedle information out of me. "Now, it's back to work, and time to try and forge my career." Blech. Thinking of work makes me smile when I consider Barney and groan when I think of Jack Hyde. Maybe the holiday will have helped him too.

We lie in front of the TV, just like old times, chatting. For a few hours we are just two women, who happen to be dating two brothers. By 10.30, I'm dozing off and I potter off to bed.

Kate puts the finishing touches to my hair. She doesn't look happy. I know she doesn't like Christian, but it is my wedding day. "He has everything prepared, Ana." My mom comes into the room, and rests her chin on my shoulder. We both look in the mirror, and her eyes are sad. She swallows visibly. "Your father and I love you so much Ana, we will always be here for you." She kisses my cheek and Ray comes in. "Are you sure, Ana?" He hops from foot to foot. "It's not too late." I frown. How can my parents, who have been so enamoured of Christian now be like this?

When we leave the room, we walk the short distance to the Metric Room. The chairs are laid out in short rows, each seat adorned with a peach and pink net bow. Where the minister stands, there is a wicker arch, again festooned in peach and pink, with balloons and satin ribbon. The faux Roman columns are decorated with heavily scented lilies, the cloying fragrance stifling the air. I can't see my groom. Suddenly, a figure stands up, but I can't see straight, my eyes are watering against the pollen. When I get closer the pink of the gaudy baubles matches that of the groom's face. It's Jack Hyde. I shake my head and try to pull back, but my legs won't work. I want to scream but there is no sound as Jack extends his meaty paw. His skin is clammy against mine.

"nooooooo!"

My eyes open and I jerk straight up in bed. It's ok. I'm in my own room. I shudder and pant, trying to compose myself. Kate runs into the room. "Ana!" She jumps on the bed and goes to give me a hug, but I flinch.

"Sorry Kate."

"Hey, it's ok." She rubs my arm.

"It was just a nightmare." A horrible nightmare, reminding me that I'm going back there and have to see his stupid face. I'm half tempted to just go to GEH instead. No, I have to be mature. 5.30 am. Fuckit, I'll just get up and dressed, and check in on my little GEH library-cubby-hole. It'll take me a while to wash off that nightmare anyway.

I knock on the door, and the voice shouts "Enter, Feeble Human!" Barney is hunched over his desk, spearing pieces of food from a Chinese takeaway box. Something green is skewered on his chopstick, and he snorts, picks it off, throws it in the bin and tries again. "Victory is mine!" he crows at the piece of meat. I clear my throat. "Nice to see you again, O Great Hunter!"

"Ana!" He drops his chopstick spear and gives me an enthusiastic handshake, not a hug. "So nice to see you again." Returning to the food he waves the box. "D'breakfast." Interesting portmanteau word. "Dinner into breakfast." He gives a conspiratorial wink. "It's going to become a thing."

"I've only been gone a couple of days Barney." I giggle. "You seem to think I was away for a year!"

He picks up his d'breakfast again. "Feels like it."

I look around the room – there is more mess than usual, and coffee cups are askew on every flat surface. "Barney, what's up?"

"Pulled an all nighter." An all nighter?

"Why?"

Barney rolls his shoulders. "Oh, you know what it's like. Just part of the job." It hangs in the air briefly. I don't think I'd ever be able to work all night. "anyhoo," He changes the subject, and I let him. "How was the trip home?"

"Great." I smile. "Hot."

He bounces his eyebrows "I bet!"

I give him a playful punch. "Not like that! The weather!" But he is right. It was hot.

I suppose I better go in and get started. I am looking forward to it anyway. Barney reads my mind. "Don't worry, you are still a newbie, he'll not crack that whip yet!"

Back to work. SIP is all nice and clean. Elizabeth smiles. The staff all seem quite enamoured with their new surroundings. As well as a paint, the carpets have been replaced, the fire alarms and exits now look like they are up to code, and there actually is appropriate filing and washing facilities. The chatter amongst the staff is about the new mini-gym that has been installed. Apparently anyone who signs up for the health plan and who keeps within their agreed medical range will get an extra week's leave at the end of the year. It's an amazing perk, and I wonder if it will help with sick-time. Speaking of sick time, my stomach twists. There is Jack Hyde. His mayonnaise stained tie doesn't do anything to conceal the buttons straining at his stomach.

"Oh, Miss Steele." He all but spits the words. "So nice to see you back again. I suppose we should thank your generous boyfriend for all this" He waves his hand dismissively. "Such philanthropy from the millionaire in his ivory tower."

"Ja-ack" Elizabeth chides. She widens her eyes and clamps her lips shut.

"Whatever." He picks his ear. "Miss Steele, your fraternising with the owner notwithstanding, I expect your full attention whilst you are here."

Ignoring his insult to Christian, I say exactly what is on my mind. "My professionalism will not be called into question here, Mister Hyde." I unbutton my coat, "Now, if you will excuse me, I believe I have a number of manuscripts to examine." Wanker.

Other than Jack, SIP isn't actually too bad. The day was fairly uneventful, and I read through a couple of interesting manuscripts. To help me find my own eye and develop my skills, Elizabeth had picked out an example of a really good one, so that I could contrast it against lesser ones, and try to spot the work that has potential. It's a strange feeling; to know that my critique and contribution of another's work could help make or break their career.

Driving home, I get the chance to muse on this, on my first day back at work as a grown-up. I park my car, and a figure catches my eye. It's that strange woman again, in the trenchcoat. This time I get an even better look at her. Her hair is scraped back, and although she has make-up on, her skin looks grey, and her cheekbones hollow.

"Excuse me," she says, almost a shy whisper. "I normally park my car here, but it's been stolen." She gives a shiver. "Could I possibly use your bathroom? I'm waiting on my boyfriend to come and collect me." I glance at my watch, and then look up at our apartment front door. Kate will be home soon, and what harm could it do? If I were in her shoes, would I also be dependent on the kindness of a stranger?

"Sure," I smile nervously. "I'm Ana."

She nods, and then when she doesn't offer her name, I ask. "Oh," she says absentmindedly "I'm Leila."

In the house, I point her towards the bathroom. She makes a beeline for it.

When she comes out of the bathroom she is holding a syringe. My eyes blur and slowly refocus. I'm frozen in place. "Don't move." There is no danger of that. My mind is swimming, and I can't think straight. Is that blood? She pushes on the plunger and a drop beads at the edge. "I don't want to use this, Ana, truly I don't, but you can't have him."

Him? Does she mean Christian? "Leila" I make every effort to look into her eyes, now blank. "We aren't what you think we are."

"I know what you are." She takes a step closer. "You are more."

My phone buzzes and she jumps and spins around. "Is that him?"

"I don't know" Of course it is him.

I'm not sure if she'll let me answer it. "Can I see if it is him?" Her eyes glaze for a minute. She shakes her head. We both look at the ringing phone, which stops, and then re-starts the ring tone. Leila is seems entranced by the device, her hand hovering over the screen. Seizing my opportunity, I do either the bravest or the stupidest thing of my life. I pick up a cushion and swing at her, knocking the syringe from her hand. It rolls over the floor out of her grasp. Thinking of everything that Ray taught me, I push her. I'm small, but she is so much lighter and frailer; squealing, she falls backward. With all my strength, I kneel on her shoulder, oblivious to her clawing at my arms. I can't pick up the phone but I push frantically against the answer key, hoping the phone doesn't skid out of reach.

"Pemberley!" I scream. "Christian! Pemberley."