Day 39

It is 4:30 in the afternoon and I just woke up. I'm surprised I don't feel shittier. I thought I'd feel a lot shittier when I woke up. I feel pretty fucking shitty.

I should have known that the party would be horrible. It's a Capitol party; Capitol parties always make you feel like complete shit afterward. It's probably a combination of being with such shitty for hours and the alcohol.

Annie looks gorgeous last night. I met her and Minnie in the lobby of the hotel we were staying at and Minnie was in her normal ridiculous get up with her face caked with make up and her frilly dress and her bright blue cork screw curls which I have not decided is a wig or her real hair that's just dyed and styled. Mags was going to stay home. Usually all mentors go to the party, but Mags claims she's too old and no one will want her there. The Capitol parties are for the younger crowds. She's lucky she had an excuse to miss it. When I saw Annie it was like the entire world froze. She was in a light blue dress that seemed to be slightly green too. It reminded me of the sky but not as light. It had a simple v neckline and plain spaghetti straps. It was kind of tight around the waist but opened up and became kind of flowy down towards the bottom. The front came down to about mid thigh but then the back was longer and went below her knee. I love her in blue because it makes her eyes look bright and shining and it brings out any other colors that hide in the deep expanse of green. It also stands out against her tan and it makes her skin glow. Her hair was styled so her bangs were swept to the side in different layers almost like waves and clipped to the side with a green and blue bejeweled barrette. The rest of her hair, which looked lighter and more reddish (probably because of the blue she was wearing) was styled in simple waves that cascaded over her tanned shoulders. Lastly, she had on a pair of simple white converse high tops that were as crisp and white as clouds in the sky. I smiled when I saw them; so Minnie did let her keep her own style.

She ran over to me when she saw me and hugged me tight. I could tell she was nervous and also probably very tense after spending the whole day with Minnie and the prep team. Capitol people tend to stress everyone out. When we got into the car, Minnie recounted for the thousandth time that we were supposed to follow her into the President's mansion and then greet all of the important people who would be stationed in the front part of the house. Then we would head to the back and listen to President Snow's speech commemorating Annie. After that we were free to go about and celebrate and do as we pleased as long as we were on our best behavior. I had to keep from rolling my eyes. She spoke to us like we were children; not a 19 year old and an 18 year old.

We got there and the mansion was completely lit up. There were huge sparkling lights intertwined in the branches of trees and all of the lights on the outside of his mansion were on. His electric bills must be through the roof. Inside, Annie and I had to greet about forty different Capitol people as well as their wives. Minnie kept whispering their names in my ears so I could address them by name, but I didn't really see the point. They could have just told me their names. Annie just shook their hands and smiled at all of them. They all congratulated her, though I could tell a lot of them weren't sincere. I suppose a lot of them lost a lot of money when she won. Serves them right.

Then we made it to the next room and pushed our way through the crowd so we could stand at the front as President Snow made his way out to the balcony to make his speech. He thanked everyone for being there and congratulated Annie and then he paused for a short bit before wishing her a speedy recovery with her laryngitis. I could tell by the way he said "laryngitis" that he didn't believe it either. I hope he doesn't try to punish Annie because of our lie. We're just trying to keep her from getting hurt and undergoing any more mockery. I can't stand hearing "The Mad Victor" anymore.

I made my way to the food table with Annie, hoping that if we looked busy people would leave us alone and I could stay with her the whole night. But of course, that didn't happen. I was whisked away by some bleached blond bimbo who was wearing a dress that was too tight around the chest and so much make up that it was starting to run because of the heat in the room. She was probably one of my clients, but I'm usually way too drunk to remember any of them.

The whole night I kept trying to get back to Annie, but every time I tried that I kept getting whisked away by another Capitol woman who decided a good time was to try and stick their tongue down my throat or force alcohol past my lips or shove her boobs in my face. I finally got back to the table after about seven women and five shots and three forced kisses but Annie was gone. I, of course, freaked out because my mind went straight to the worst possible place: a man took her up to one of the rooms. Then I saw her in the middle of the room with one of President Snow's most esteemed advisors, John Doe. Mr. Doe was a scary man. He had eyes so dark they were almost black and dark black hair interrupted by a streak of gray in the front. He was tall and his shoulders were so broad that he towered over nearly anyone he came across. He took his large bear hands and roughly placed them on Annie's hips, then he pulled her so close to him that they were grinding up against one another. I got over there as soon as I could and pulled him off of her, knowing that there was no way for her to tell him to get off; no way for her to defend herself

He turned to me, and I knew at once that he was drunk. He slurred his words and asked why I took the pretty girl away from him and I was so angry and slightly drunk and I could barely think, so I just said the first thing that came to my mind: "Because that pretty girl is my girlfriend." Great, Odair. Great plan. Mr. Doe just grinned at me and started laughing, but everyone heard and there was a total uproar. People were screaming and crying and some of the women were grabbing at me and telling me that I belonged to them. I immediately grabbed Annie and tried to find Minnie but there were so many people and the room was spinning and people were screaming and then it all stopped

President Snow was up at the balcony again demanding to know the cause of the uproar and as soon as someone screamed out that we were dating, I knew I was screwed. If I denied it, Mr. Doe would ask why I lied, but if I confirmed it, I would release the news of our relationship into Panem once and for all. And it wasn't even true. So when President Snow asked if that were true, I did what any great drunk man under pressure would do: I passed out.

I don't remember anything else. Mags told me when I woke up today that I had way more shots than I thought and they were all double so I was drunker than I had ever been in my entire life and it was all on an empty stomach. She told me we were taken home and Annie was put to bed after crying hysterically the whole way home. Minnie denied all dating rumors, claiming I was so drunk that I barely knew what I was saying. I suppose that's true. Everything is a blur to me. I don't want to see Annie today. I'm afraid she's going to be angry at me for what happened last night. I think I'm going to stay in my room and ignore the world today. The room is still spinning and my head is pounding. I think I will go back to bed. I'm stopping here.

Finnick