Chapter Thirty-Six—
April Fools'

Mrs. Weasley giving birth to Fred and George was God's eternal April Fools' joke on the world.

All of Gryffindor Tower—with the exception of Hayley Dobson—was woken up around dawn on April 1 by the crowing of several cocks. The cacophonous noise startled Meril out of her bed, sending her crashing to the floor, as she was so apt to do. Thinking Meril was the source of all the commotion, Alicia hurled a pillow across the room at her, missing and instead hitting Caitlin Haelstrome, who awoke in a fury.

"Oh, no. There is no bloody way I am going to lay here and listen to this," Angelina grumbled, angrily throwing her sheets from her and getting to her feet. "Meril, come with me!"

"I…can't…move," Meril grunted. "Oh my head…"

Angelina's hand reached into the cocoon, latched onto Meril's wrist, and wrenched her to her feet. Meril hadn't even caught her balance yet when Angelina started to drag her down the spiral staircase.

"I know your boyfriend has something to do with this," she grumbled, barely audible amidst all the chaos; the roosters were still crowing, and all down the staircase, people were complaining and shouting, though no one bothered to do anything about it.

The Common Room was a mess. Roosters—real live roosters—had infiltrated Gryffindor Tower and made themselves quite comfortable. They were all over the furniture, leaving "presents" wherever they saw fit. Malted feathers created a thin film over the floor. Stranger still, piles of Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans were dispersed throughout the room. The roosters, when not crowing, would find a mound of Every Flavor Beans and peck at them.

"What should we do?" Meril whispered. Angelina was still clenching her wrist, so with her free hand Meril latched onto Angelina's elbow. Her eyes widened in terrified shock as she watched one rooster picking at a pile of Bertie Bott's. His head was barely more than a blur from the rapidity of his movement.

"That's just not natural," Angelina muttered, also fixated by the bizarre rooster. But she didn't let it bother her for long. Releasing Meril's wrist and prying herself away from her grasp, Angelina took a step forward. At once, the roosters stopped what they were doing and turned towards her. She reached for her wand decisively, but found that it was not in her pocket as she had imagined.

"Oh, bollocks! Meril, I left my wand up in the dormitory. I'll go back to get it. Meanwhile, you should go pay a little visit to your boyfriend to see what he's playing at. Roosters in the Common Room! This isn't a bleeding barn yard!"

Angelina sprinted up the spiral staircase two at a time. Meril moved to obey her friend's demand when an agonized scream stopped her at the foot of the stairs.

"Meril!"

Meril would recognize that roar even if she wasn't standing at the bottom of the boy's staircase. The over-pronunciation of the 'meh' sound, and the way the voice cracked at the 'i.' It could be no one other than—

Lee Jordan came storming around the final bend in the staircase a second later, a most peculiar hat upon his head. "Mornin' Lee!" Meril chirped.

"Do you recognize this, Meril?" Lee demanded, thrusting his finger in the direction of his fuzzy white hat.

"No, I can't say I do, soldier. It's a peculiar choice, but it's growing on me."

"Growing on you?" he scoffed. "I think it's growing on me. I've been trying to get her off, but the little bugger has dug her claws into my scalp. I am bleeding Meril."

"Is that—?" Meril began haltingly. She blinked a few times, rubbed her eyes, and stepped closer. And as it turned out, Lee's fuzzy white hat was not a hat at all. "Pistachio?"

"Bingo! Your cat decided that it would be appropriate to launch herself at my head. I think something about my dreadlocks attracted her, because I feel her chewing on them. See?" He had to pivot his entire body so he wouldn't disturb Pistachio, which would only make her hold on tighter. And sure enough, Pistachio was chewing rather intently on one of Lee's dread locks. She looked very comfortable.

"Isn't she cute?" Meril cooed, scratching the white mass of fur behind the ears.

"Adorable. Would you mind taking her down? I'm sure she'd love to see her Mommy."

At six and a half months old, Pistachio was very independent. She wandered the castle as she liked, and the only thing which really kept her coming back to Gryffindor Tower was her food and, very seldom, to sleep with Meril. So, Meril sort of doubted that Pistachio would love to see her "Mommy."

"I think it would be better if you just waited it out, Lee."

"Wait it out? Wait it out? Meril, she is kneading her claws into my skin!"

"I'm truly sorry to hear that, but we've got bigger problems on our hands." She led him to the archway and pointed out into the Common Room, where the roosters were still strutting about.

"That's brilliant!" Lee laughed.

"Brilliant?" Angelina had suddenly returned, wand in hand and looking even grumpier than before. "Meril, did you go up to yell at Fred and George? Because it looks like you've just been standing here."

"Well Lee came down, and he had a problem he wanted to discuss with me." Meril stared pointedly at her cat, still perched on top of Lee's head, but Angelina refused to acknowledge it.

"I think we have more pressing matters to worry about than Lee's vast troubles. There is only so much we can do for him, but we can put a complete end to the situation in the Common Room, and with any luck, we can go back to our beds and finish sleeping!"

"I don't care for your implications, Miss Johnson! The only problem I have is that Meril's cat has made both a bed and a chew toy out of my head!"

For the first time, Angelina noticed the white furry mass curled up on top of Lee's head. The corners of her lips quivered a moment before twitching into a smile.

"I think you look quite dapper. Most people would criticize the use of live cats as hats, but I think it's very clever. Could you do a little twirl for me?"

There was something about the combination of twirling and the crowing of the roosters which set Pistachio off. She wiggled her butt in the air and pounced; Lee screamed again as her rear claws dug into his head and ripped themselves back out.

Pistachio's presence in the Common Room caused quite the disturbance. As soon as he launched off of Lee's head, the roosters started to panic. The crowing got louder as they flapped their wings frantically and attempted to fly away with little success. Pistachio ran through the heaps of Every Flavor Beans, scattering them to the darkest curves of the room, likely never to be seen again.

After much hissing, clucking, chasing, and flying, Pistachio finally caught hold of one rooster's leg. The rooster struggled, but it was futile; Pistachio pinned him to the ground, and Meril looked away so she wouldn't have to see what came next.

"Well, I think Pistachio can take care of this problem for us," she said.

"So in addition to the beans, malted feathers, and poo, now there's blood and dead carcases, too," Angelina complained. "Bloody perfect, isn't it?"

"But I don't see any blood," Lee commented, craning his neck to get a better look around the couch. "It looks clean."

"That's peculiar." Meril frowned. The rooster was no longer moving, but there was no sign of any blood.

Pistachio pounced on another rooster, and this time Meril didn't turn away, not even as she gave what should have been a fatal bite. But rather than bleeding out or dying, there was a small puff of smoke, and the rooster lay limp. Pistachio looked confused, batted at the body, and then move on to her next victim.

Lee approached the most recent kill and knelt down beside it. He poked it warily a few times before saying, "Well, it's just as I predicted." He then chuckled, shaking his head. "Brilliant. That's really ace."

"What's so brilliant?" Angelina demanded, growing increasingly more irritable as the seconds wore on.

"They're rubber! They were transfigured into real roosters, but once they were killed they turned back into rubber. Brilliant."

"Well it's a good thing we have Pistachio here, because I never would have killed the chickens." Meril knelt down beside what was once a rooster and laughed. It was obvious that it was rubber now that it had been pointed out, but she had truly been dreading cleaning up a dead rooster carcass. "Genius."

"Clever or not, I will whoop Fred and George if neither of you will." Angelina stifled a yawn. "After I finish sleeping."

"Naturally," Meril said with a smile.

"Sleep tight, beautiful," Lee said, tossing a rubber chicken over his shoulder and sending her a wink.

Angelina was shaking her head as she stalked away, but Meril could have sworn she saw the faintest trace of a smile hidden on her friend's lips. Lee openly watched as she walked away.

"She isn't going to have much time to sleep though. Breakfast will be starting soon, and Easter Break doesn't start until Sunday."

"Something tells me that she will not be one to cross today," Meril said pointedly.

Lee chose to ignore this remark. "Shall we go wake up Fred and George then?"

"If they're even asleep. I don't know how anyone could sleep through that—even Hayley must have woken up."

"Well, they're probably exhausted after setting all of this up. Even for them, it must have taken ages." He gave Meril's elbow a gentle tug. "Come on then."

The two trampled noisily up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. As they entered, there was a loud 'thud!' followed by a drawing of a set of curtains.

"What's Monkey doing up here?" the voice of Scott Gunderson demanded from behind the curtains. Without waiting for an answer, he continued, "This is the boy's dormitory! You can't just parade her in here whenever you like!"

"He's getting changed," Shane O'Gorman explained casually from where he sat, fully clothed, at the foot of his four-poster bed.

"And I'd like some privacy please!" Scott exclaimed, his voice unnaturally high. Meril smirked as she ran her hand along his curtains.

"I really make you uncomfortable, don't I Scott?"

"At this particular moment? Yes."

"At any given moment…." Shane murmured. Meril caught his eyes, and the two shared a smile. He had plucked the words straight out of her brain. Meril had always thought that he acted differently towards her, but the difference became even more marked once she returned to Hogwarts. He had always been proud, loud, overly confident, and outrageously flirtatious—even with Meril. Now he couldn't attempt to flirt with her without looking away and revoking his statement, and he was hiding behind curtains when before he would have changed openly.

Yes, Meril decided, Scott Gunderson was an odd duck.

"Well, Scott, you were the whole reason I came up here, but since you're hiding from me, I might as well leave…" Meril sighed.

"Well, I wouldn't want to deny you the pleasure of seeing me," he said hesitantly If you could just—"

Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, Meril ripped open the curtains, revealing a half-dressed Scott standing hunched over on top of his bed. He had been attempting to button up his shirt when the curtains had been pulled apart, but now he was just scowling.

"If this is your idea of an April Fool's joke—"

"—then I would have a very poor sense of humor," Meril finished, smiling. "I just wanted to see why you were hiding from me. From what I see, there's no reason."

Scott glanced down—probably to make sure that he was actually wearing pants—and then looked back at Meril, though he wouldn't quite catch her eye. "I was just startled by your entrance."

"I don't believe that. It's not like I never come up here."

"Well, I'm not usually trying to get changed when you do."

"You just don't like me—admit it."

Scott looked startled. "What makes you say that?"

"You do."

"And what do you mean by that?"

Meril heaved a sigh, shook her head, and rubbed her brow. "Never you mind. Just carry on with…whatever you were doing."

"Right. Excuse me." Scott attempted to squeeze in between Meril and his bed post, and cringed visibly when he brushed against Meril's arm. He hurriedly grabbed his tie, sweater vest, robe, and shoes, bundled them all in his arms, and rushed out of the dormitory. "See you chaps later! Bye Monkey!" Scott called after him.

Meril stared at the doorway in disbelief. "And he doesn't know what I'm talking about? Did you see that?" She turned towards Shane, who was hovering in the breach between his bed and the door.

"You have to excuse him. He's…" Shane paused a moment to search for an apt description for what Scott was. "You'll just have to excuse him."

"I probably shouldn't even try to understand, should I?"

"No, I doubt it's worth it." He glanced out the doorway, and then at his watch. "I should probably get going."

"Right. Go ahead. I'll see you later."

"Cheers!"

He exited and Meril turned around to face her friends. Lee had found his way back to his bed and had his face buried in his pillow, presumably asleep. Deciding to leave him alone, Meril crept towards Fred. He was spread-eagle on his bed, his sheets tangled in his legs. Meril sat down tentatively on the edge of his bed and brushed his hair away from his eyes. His eyes flitted open at her touch, his long fair lashes tickling her finger tips.

"G'morning, Monkey." Fred smiled readily as he slowly lifted himself up.

"Are you ever going to explain why people keep calling me that?" Meril asked lightly. The stray hair fell over his eye again and she moved to brush it away, but Fred caught her hand.

He pressed his lips first against her palm, and then her fingers. "No."

"It's not mean, is it?" Meril frowned, her fingers automatically finding her ears. At the last Quidditch match, Oliver's best friend and the Gryffindor member of The Hogs had decided to inform Meril that she had funny ears, and Meril had been sensitive about it ever since.

Fred reached forward, placed Meril's hands in her lap, and caressed her ears fondly. "No, it isn't mean." He leaned forward smiling. "Now how about a birthday kiss?"

Meril placed two fingers over his lips and shook her head. "Not until you take care of that morning breath." She still had her fingers pressed over his frown as she stood up. To appease him, she kissed him gently on the top of the head before moving over to George's bed.

George didn't receive the same tender wake-up call that his twin did; that was a privilege meant only for Meril's boyfriend. Instead she sat forcefully on the foot of his bed and began tickling his exposed feet. He let out a small giggle, gave one feeble kick, and went limp.

Meril frowned; she had not foreseen this flaw in her plan. She had assumed that everyone was painfully ticklish in the same spots: the feet and…What was the other spot? She thought for a moment, recalling where her father would touch that would make her squirm. Feet, knees, ribs, and armpits.

Her eyes were drawn towards George's torso. He was slightly twisted, his head cocked to the side, and both arms over his head, hands tucked under his pillow—armpits perfectly exposed. Meril crawled along the edge of his bed until she could reach his under arm. Smiling devilishly, she reached across him to his other side and began to violently tickle both armpits. George writhed about in his sleep, chuckling until Meril moved the tickling down to his ribs. He then awoke with a gasp, laughing painfully hard.

"Gerroff!" George insisted between gasps of laughter. He attempted to shove away Meril's hands, but she held firm. It wasn't until he began to retaliate that she finally relented. "Blimey, Meril! You're barmy!"

Meril grinned and sat up so she was no longer stretched across him. "Happy Birthday, Georgie."

"Thanks, Meril." He opened up his arms and lifted his eyebrows suggestively.

Meril hesitantly moved into his arms. His warm breath hit her gently in the face as she rested against his shoulder. "George doesn't have morning breath, Fred! Maybe I should just give him your birthday kiss," Meril teased.

In response, Fred leapt across the gap between his bed and his twin's and tackled Meril who was still in the middle of her hug with Fred. The twins exchanged a look and smirk before simultaneously initiating a second round of tickle attacks.

Meril was laughing and crying so loudly, it barely took a minute for Lee to stir. He lifted himself up, took one look at the three, and rolled his eyes as he walked out of the dorm.

"I'll leave you lot to that. But you're all off your trolleys, I hope you know."

There were still beans scatter all over the Common Room when Fred, George, and Meril made their descent from their dorms, deeming it was time for breakfast. The bird droppings and malted feathers had also remained untouched, leaving the Common Room looking like a chicken coop.

Fred and George exchanged satisfied grins and gave each other congratulatory slaps on the back which they thought Meril didn't notice. They were still attempting to keep their role in the dawn prank a secret, but nobody had any doubts that it had been them.

"What's with the beans?" Fred inquired, sending a wink to his twin.

"Oh, come off it," Meril said impatiently. "You aren't fooling anyone."

"Whatever do you mean?" George asked innocently.

"You know exactly what I mean, and you know exactly why all of the beans and the feathers and the droppings are everywhere."

The twins hesitated a moment before allowing their grins to stretch proudly across their faces and saying in unison, "Of course we do."

"They made quite a mess of things, didn't they?" Fred observed, nodding approvingly as he scanned the circular room.

"Did you see the message in the beans?" George wondered.

Meril scrunched up her face in concentration, trying to remember anything other than the panic of roosters from that morning. She remembered there were beans, of course, and she remembered the rapidity with which the roosters ate them, but a message? No, she didn't recall anything about that. She shook her head.

"Damn. Well, it was supposed to say—"

"April Fool's. We should have been more careful."

"We'll do better next time."

"Please don't let there be a next time," Meril cut in, looking towards the ceiling pleadingly.

Fred laughed, bending down and picking up one of the rubber chickens. He waved it in his girlfriend's face tauntingly. "Chicken pranks not your cup of tea?"

"No, I prefer Earl Grey," Meril retorted, sticking her tongue out at him and swatting away the chicken as she led them towards the portrait hole. She was about to push through when it opened, revealing Professor McGonagall. The rubber chicken dropped to the floor.

"Good morning Professor!" Meril chirped as Fred and George edged closer to her, trying to block the disaster that was the Common Room from view.

Professor McGonagall looked Meril up and down suspiciously, her lips tightly pursed as ever. Evidently deciding Meril was doing nothing wrong, she nodded. "Good morning, Miss Lizlow; Misters Weasley." Her tone was still cautious.

"To what do we owe this pleasure?" Fred smiled charmingly and put his arm around Meril's shoulder, closing any gaps McGonagall would have been able to sneak a peek through.

McGonagall's eyes narrowed distrustfully at the three of them. "What are you three up to?"

"Why must we always be up to something?" George asked with an injured expression.

"Because you always are."

"We were just on our way down to breakfast," Meril interjected before either of the twins could give her any more reason to suspect them of anything. "Did you know it was their birthday?"

Professor McGonagall looked at the twins warily. "Is it now?" she sighed. "I suppose a 'happy birthday' is in order then. Now if you'll excuse me—"

"What's that?" Meril pointed at the slip of paper in the professor's hand curiously.

Professor McGonagall handed it to her. She quickly looked it over as the twins read over her shoulder.

Career Advice

All fifth years will be required to attend a short meeting with their Head of House during the first week of the Summer term, in which they will be given the opportunity to discuss their future careers. Times of individual appointments are listed below.

Meril scanned the list of appointments until she found hers for April 11th, the first Monday after the week long Easter break.

"Well, we can put this up for you!" Fred offered, taking the paper from Meril's hands. "Wouldn't want to trouble you…"

"We're sure you have much more important things to do," George added, nodding emphatically.

McGonagall's eyes narrowed until they were mere slits. "What are you three hiding?"

"Hiding?" Meril squealed. "We aren't hiding anything. We just thought we'd save you the time—"

"If you were really worried about wasting my time, you wouldn't have held me up here for the past five minutes. Now, if you will please excuse me, I will take this notice and put it on the board myself."

Professor McGonagall forced her way between the three and made her way towards the notice board. Meril, Fred, and George scrambled out of the portrait hole before their professor had any time to register the mess before her. They sprinted down the corridor as fast as they could, but they could still hear her roar of outrage.

"You'll be paying for that later!" Meril laughed gleefully. They were taking the stairs two at a time, still trying to gain as much distance as possible from the livid professor.

"Us? Meril, if you believe she won't pin it on you, too, you are sadly mistaken," George snickered.

"You were acting just as guilty as us," Fred put in.

"If you two think I will be taking any trouble for you—"

"As if we'd let you!"

"We put in too much hard work to let you take any credit for it!" George scoffed. He pushed open the large doors to the Great Hall and the three entered, stomachs growling.

Lee was already half way through his breakfast when they took the three empty seats surrounding him. He grinned through his mouthful of bacon. "Took you lot long enough. I was waiting for you in the Common Room, but you took so long I just gave up and came down here."

"S'alright," said both twins in unison, stacking food onto their plates quite generously.

"We were busy," George explained.

"When Meril went to get dressed—" Fred began.

"Fred and I came up with a plan."

"For a game."

"A competition, really."

"In honor of April Fool's Day."

"And our birthday."

Meril and Lee shared an apprehensive look.

"Well, let's hear it then!" exclaimed Lee after a moment's pause.

"It's a prank competition," George started, "to see which of two teams can successfully complete the most pranks today."

"The teams would be comprised of two members each, naturally. And, of course, it would be the two of you—" Fred gestured towards Meril and Lee—"and the two of us."

"That's not fair!" Meril protested immediately.

Fred and George wore identical grins as, once again, they spoke simultaneously, "Why? Afraid you're going to lose?"

A blush rose on Meril's cheeks and crept to the backs of her ears. "No!"

"Good. Then let's set up some parameters. You know—rules and whatnot," Fred said in an all-business manner. He shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"You two want to set up rules?"

"Well, we trust ourselves not to do anything unfair," George clarified.

"But who knows what foul tricks you two might try to pull?" Fred said with a shrug.

"It's alright. We wouldn't blame you. After all, you're against us."

"So these are just to ensure that everyone plays fairly."

"You two are a little cocksure, aren't you?" Lee commented with a competitive chuckle. Under the table, he and Meril grasped hands in solidarity. It would be great to see their faces when they beat them, as they were now determined to do.

"So, what are these rules?" Meril asked.

"Firstly, for your prank to count, it must not be discovered until its completion," George listed.

"If it is a general prank, that means not a single person can know that it was you, or put a stop to it. If it's an ongoing prank, it must complete at least one cycle of the prank. If it is a prank pulled on an individual, that person must not know who pulled it," Fred expanded.

"Secondly, there has to be a time frame for this to be completed in so that we can tally up our wins."

"We were thinking dawn to dessert. That seems like ample time, doesn't it?"

"That means we're counting your rooster stunt," Lee pointed out.

"Should we count that? That was pulled before the beginning of our competition. And you said you wanted to play fair…" Meril trailed off.

"If either of you had woken up and done anything, that would have been counted, too," Fred countered.

Lee opened his mouth to argue, but before he could say anything, Meril put her fingers over his lips. "It's their birthday—let's just give that to them. We can make it up."

"Fine," Lee grumbled.

"Jolly good!" George chirped. "Thirdly, sabotage is allowed."

"If it can be sabotaged by one of us just passing by, then it clearly wasn't good enough anyway. However, we can't go snooping around for each other's."

George nodded sagely. "Lastly, honesty is key."

"We won't have time to check up on you and your pranks throughout the day, just as we imagine you won't have time to look in on us. So, after dessert, when we tally up our successes, be honest. Also, keep up with the state of your pranks on your own."

"Does that sound reasonable?"

Lee and Meril nodded in assent, and then the four shook on it. Meril made to return to her breakfast, but Lee grabbed her by the wrist and lifted her to her feet.

"There's no time for eating! We have to get started!" Lee hissed as he attempted to pull her away; Meril was hanging onto the edge of the table, staring longingly at her food. Her stomach rumbled. Lee gave another forceful yank, and her grip on the table was released as she went stumbling towards him.

"Wait!" Fred exclaimed. He stood up abruptly, nearly knocking George and a frightened looking second year off the bench as he scooted it backwards. He reached across the tables and grabbed Meril by the fingertips. "Before you take her away, there's something she needs to know."

Lee hesitated for a moment before sighing and releasing her. Fred guided her back towards him by her fingers. He leaned forward just as she did and announced, "My morning breath is all gone."

"Well, then you know what it's time for," Meril laughed. She placed her hand on the side of his face as the other hand supported her on the table and placed a careful kiss on his lips. "Happy Birthday, Fred."

Lee had dragged Meril all the way to the library, where they spent the rest of their library discussing what their first prank would be, and when they would perform it. It was agreed that it would need to be as soon as possible, as it was likely that the twins already had a full day of pranks planned out.

When the bell rang and it was time to go to their first lesson of the day, Lee and Meril bustled off to History of Magic, still speaking in hushed tones. They huddled beside each other in the middle of the classroom, separating themselves from the twins for once, and wrote furiously to each other, finalizing their plans.

I'll leave ten minutes early, claiming I don't feel well, and I'll run up to my dormitory to get what we need.

Lee nodded and wrote back immediately, When should I meet you?

In between lessons. Entrance Hall. Then we can go to Charms together through one of the lesser used corridors.

I know the perfect place. Just make sure you hurry. We can't be late, or we'll look suspicious.

I know, I know. I'll go as fast as I can.

Lee tore up the scrap of parchment into tiny pieces and shoved it into the bottom of his bag. For the rest of the lesson, he and Meril sat anxiously, neither one listening to what Professor Binns was droning on about, and each taking turns looking at the clock.

At long last, only ten minutes of the lesson remained. Meril promptly stood up, one hand clutching her stomach with the other one over her mouth. Professor Binns neither noticed or cared until Shane O'Gorman interrupted the lecture to point it out.

"Yes, Miss Lowell?"

"I don't feel well," she choked out, then pressed her fingers against her mouth. "May I go to the Hospital Wing?"

When the ghost did not respond, Meril forced her shoulders to heave forward. Everyone seated around collectively moved away from her. Scott Gunderson squeamishly called out, "Let her go!"

"Yes, alright, Miss Lauper. Go ahead. As I was saying…" Professor Binns continued to drone on about the lesson, but everyone was watching Meril as she ran for the door. Just in case anyone stopped to question her, she kept one hand over her mouth as she sprinted Gryffindor Tower.

"Billywig," she panted, finally reaching the Fat Lady. Bewildered, the portrait swung forward, admitting her into the Common Room. Meril didn't even pause as she scrambled through the portrait hole and rushed up to her dorm.

At the bottom of her trunk she found what she was looking for—a small pouch of money, filled mostly with knuts and sickles. She pocketed it and took a peak at her watch. Five minutes. She still had some time. Deciding that she would draw less attention if she moved more slowly, she made her way down to the Entrance Hall at a leisurely pace until the bell rang.

The Entrance Hall was crowded with students milling about, wasting time on their way to class, but Meril easily spotted Lee, standing alone by a suit or armor by the large oak entrance doors. She hurried towards him, grabbed his elbow, and set off again.

"You're sure you know the incantation?" Lee muttered.

"Yes, I've been using it on t-shirts since our first year," Meril replied. She handed him the money pouch. They turned down a less crowded corridor, and Lee began to drop knuts and sickles sparingly, forming a trail behind him. They took another turn, and he started to drop them in a greater concentration.

"Where should we put it?" Meril wondered, looking down at the galleon in her hand as they continued to walk.

"How about up there? Next to the suit of armor?"

Meril grinned and looked at him. "What about in its hand?"

"Ace!"

The two rushed forward, still scattering coins, until they reached the suit of armor. Lee took the galleon from Meril and stuck it in the suit of armor's hand. Meril pulled out her wand, looked to make sure that no one was watching, and murmured, "Permenci."

"Did it work?" Lee asked eagerly.

Meril nodded towards it. "Why don't you try?"

Lee reached for the hand and tried to remove the galleon from it; it wouldn't budge. He beamed at Meril. "Ace!" he exclaimed once again. "I've never seen the Permanent Sticking Charm used before."

"Well, now you have. Come on, we have to get to Charms."

Charms had always proved to be the perfect environment for a nice chat, and Meril and Lee took full advantage of that fact. Once again isolating themselves from the twins, they planned their next attack. They would take turns practicing Tergeo, a spell used to clean, and looking up useful charms in their text book. By the end of the double period, Meril and Lee had both successfully cleaned all of the dishes they had received, and had devised a plan.

Meril and Lee left when the loud bell chimed, just like everyone else. They caught up with Fred and George in the hallway, and Meril squeezed in between them as she was apt to do. It was odd that she didn't feel weird about not having talked to her boyfriend for most of the day. And, standing beside him, she didn't feel any relief about being with him again. In fact, she felt quite the opposite—anxious to get away from him and George again so that she and Lee could complete their prank. But, for the meantime, she made idle chatter with the two.

About a floor up from the Great Hall, Lee stopped short and said, "Meril, we're going the wrong way! We have Divination next!"

"Bollocks, you're right! Err—well…" She looked back and forth anxiously between Lee and the twins. Lee tapped his toes impatiently. "I have to go. I'll see you two later then?"

"Well, you should know better than we should. You're the one that has been divining futures," George joked.

Meril stared blankly at him for a moment, shook her head, and gave Fred a kiss on the cheek. "Later."

She rejoined Lee and the two doubled back, took three consecutive left hand turns, and found themselves right back where they started. The twins long gone, they hurried down the flight of stairs, made sure the coast was clear, and snuck into the Great Hall.

"You know the spell, right?" Meril whispered. Even in her quietest tone, her voice seemed to carry around the vast room. She hoped no one was near enough to hear.

"Yup. Do you?"

"Yes I do! Fire at will then."

The two separated, darting around the Great Hall and casting "Exfodio" at arbitrary plates as they went. After Meril had gone over the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables, she went back to test a few of the plates she knew she that had cast the charm upon. She had never used it before, and though she and Lee had spent the better part of a period studying it, they hadn't been able to actually practice it.

The first few attempts had been unsuccessful, and so she tried again until the center of the plate sprang towards her when poked, as it should have. Smiling satisfactorily to herself, she pushed the center back down until the spring was compressed and the plate locked into place.

"I can't wait until lunch!" Lee exclaimed eagerly, rubbing his hands together as he rejoined Meril at the door.

"I know. It's going to be quite a show," Meril agreed, still grinning. "And you remember where you put the plates at our table?"

Lee nodded. "As long as we don't sit too close to either end, we should be good."

The corridors were empty, and Meril and Lee were, as they had predicted, late for Divination. They took off at a run, not stopping for anyone or anything, not even Sir Cadogen, who challenged them to a duel, as usual. They ascended the stairs and casually slipped into the classroom, hoping beyond reason that their tardiness would pass unnoticed.

As batty as Professor Trelawney was, she wasn't completely oblivious all of the time. As soon as Meril and Lee snuck into the room, she swept down upon them, her wide eyes appearing even larger behind her thick glasses.

"Where have you been? No—don't answer that. I already know, of course."

"Well then why would you even ask?" Meril asked bluntly.

Trelawney blinked at her before replying, slightly flustered, "It is merely a formality. But, seeing as it is your first offense, and I don't foresee anything of this nature happening anytime soon—" Meril and Le exchanged significant looks, "—I will permit you to take your seats and join us. Today, we are continuing our lesson on dreams. There are two copies of The Dream Oracle by Inigo Imago on my desk. If you two could please go pick them up…"

Divination was, as usual, a load of malarkey. Neither Meril nor Lee really concentrated on the assignment—to interpret each other's dreams—very seriously. As soon as the bell rang, they were out of the classroom, very nearly missing the assignment—to start a dream diary. There was a collective groan from the class.

Just one more assignment to add to the pile of things Meril wouldn't be starting that night. People had always said that fifth year was awful because of the O., and Meril supposed that she would agree. There was an inordinate amount of work, but she took it in stride—doing assignments as she got them, for the most part, and not caring about what she couldn't get done. There were more important things to life than homework, and this competition—this day—was one of those things.

Meril and Lee arrived at lunch a littler earlier than usual and snatched four seats at the center of the table to avoid the jinxed plates. Fred and George soon joined them as the rest of the Great Hall filled in. The food magically appeared and the students automatically began to fill their plates. Meril and Lee smirked at each other across the table.

It only took a minute for the first plate to get set off at the Hufflepuff table. From there it was a chain reaction. Students all over the Great Hall were receiving plates of the food to the face. Indignant screams echoed throughout the room. People were jumping out of their seats and flinging the food from their faces to the floor.

Fred and George both stared at their plates skeptically. George gave his a tentative poke with his fork, and when nothing happened, he exhaled audibly.

"Was this your doing?" Fred inquired, looking back and forth between Meril and Lee with something of a smile edging its way onto his face.

More students, attempting once more to fill their plates and eat, reached the same fate as before. Several particularly aggravated people got up and stormed out of the room; Meril noticed that Heather was one of them. It was unfortunate that she had been caught in the crossfire of the prank war, but she had not been targeted.

"Yeah, we did," Lee admitted; the grin seemed to be a permanent fixture on his face.

"Well, Freddie—it looks like they may be more competition than we anticipated," George said through a mouth full of food. Now that he was sure his plate was safe, he was eating very heartily. He sent a wink at Meril, assuring her that he never doubted the competition she and Lee presented.

Fred draped his arm around Meril's shoulder and kissed her cheek. "Yes, it looks that way."

The four finished eating in relative silence. Meril occupied herself with listening to the disgruntled mumblings of her classmates and surveying the scene, taking in who was hit. She noted with displeasure that Amy Smith had avoided the attack, though Jennifer Crisp had not been as lucky. At the Slytherin table, Caleb Stinson, Jayden Abrams, an Gabriel Wilm had all been hit. Jayden looked livid; Caleb appeared bemused; Gabriel seemed close to tears.

"I know what we're doing next," Lee announced, tearing Meril from her reverie. "Come on. We need to find a safe place to discuss it." He cast an untrusting look upon the twins, who immediately looked away.

Although Lee was once again calling her away from a meal before she had finished her food, Meril did not resist. She took the half-eaten sandwich from her plate and quickly followed Lee out of the room.

A letter—that had been his brilliant idea. A letter sent to Amy Smith from "Oliver Wood" confessing his mutual affection. Meril had agreed wholeheartedly with this scheme—found it riotously funny—until they'd already written it and sent it off to her. But then she got to thinking about what they'd done.

Although Meril constantly wondered about Amy's intelligence, she had gotten into Ravenclaw for a reason. The probability that she would deduce that the letter was not from Oliver was relatively high, and Amy would have only one suspect for the real perpetrator of the letter: Meril.

And Meril had been working so hard to stay out of trouble. It had been weeks since she had had a detention, and even longer since she and Amy had had any conflicts. With this letter, all of that could go away.

"Oy!"

Meril turned around and spotted Fred and George running towards her across the grounds. "Where have you been?" she called out.

"I could ask you the same thing," Fred commented with a wry smile. "You and Lee disappeared midway through lunch and never came back. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were cheating on me."

Meril grabbed Lee by the hand drawing him closer to her. "Who says that you know better?"

Fred laughed and turned to Lee. "Just make sure you get her back to me by dinner time, would you?"

"I'll see if I can spare her."

Meril smiled but did not respond. Her mind slipped back into her thoughts, and she was only vaguely aware of Lee and the twins talking and laughing around her. She followed methodically behind them. Left, right, left, right.

It was harder to ignore the bone-shaking cold induced by the dementors with thoughts stuck on a subject unpleasant as Amy Smith and impending trouble.

"Are you alright?"

George's voice, a soft whisper straight in her ear, pulled Meril back out of her trance. He was walking alongside her now, keeping time with her even pace. Left, right, left, right.

"I'm fine. I'm just…thinking."

"The dementors aren't getting to you, are they?"

"Oh, no. I'm really fine. I'm just…thinking."

George scrunched up his nose as if he had just smelt something particularly offensive. "That thinking can be dangerous stuff. You nearly stepped into a hole back there."

"Did I really?"

He nodded. "You ended up stepping over it, but it was a close one."

"You didn't think of warning me?"

"I would have pulled you up if you had fallen."

"I guarantee you, I can feel your warm sentiment."

George beamed—the familiar beam which lit up his eyes. The smile which, for the past few months, Meril had felt the urge to photograph every time she saw it directed towards her. It was such a rare occurrence lately. "There we go."

They joined the queue to get into the Herbology greenhouse. Just ahead of Lee and Fred was Kenneth Towler, a Hufflepuff in their year. He had a pair of blue plaid pajama bottoms sticking out of his bag.

Fred dropped something and bent down to pick it up, so Lee led Meril and George to their usual station beside Heather and her friends Rome Dickinson, Cora Rose, and…that girl whose name Meril could never remember. Audrey Butler? No, that didn't sound quite right. Ashley? Yes, Ashley Bitler!

Fred hurried over to join them, his hand deep inside his bag as he attempted to push something down. Meril gave him a curious look, but he ignored it and pulled his bag closed.

"I haven't talked to you all day," Meril said, turning towards Heather.

"Yes, well I'm sure you've been busy—it being April first and all." The blonde smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, an action which sent a horrible smell towards Meril. She scrunched up her nose distastefully and noticeably gagged. Heather's face fell. "Can you smell that?"

"Yes!" Meril coughed. She plugged her nose, hoping that that would not only prevent her from smelling it again, but that it would also release the smell still clinging to the insides of her nostrils.

It didn't work.

"What is it?"

"Well, after I got a face full of food at lunch, I went up to the prefect's bathroom to wash off. And…well, you've never been in there, but the tub is really something of a pool, and there are all these different taps which scented soaps normally flow out of. Only today, when I opened up the taps, some sort foul slime filled the water—and I was already in it. So I emptied the tub and refilled it, now hoping to get the remnants of food and slime off of me, but I suppose it didn't get rid of the smell." She took a whiff of her hair and recoiled.

Meril's eyes immediately flickered towards Fred and George during the telling of the tale, and though they seemed to be preoccupied, there were smiles on their faces which suggested that they heard the entire thing—smiles that hinted success.

"Is it on your skin, too?" Meril asked, turning her attention back towards her best friend.

"Probably," Heather said miserably. "I don't know how anyone can stand to be near me. I smell like rotten vegetables and skunk."

"Well…it isn't that potent," Meril said consolingly.

Heather turned towards her quickly, a smile bright on her face. The abrupt movement had sent a foul wind towards Meril, and she once again felt like she could not breathe because of the stench. "Really?"

Meril placed her hand over her nose and mouth."Well…when you don't move."

"Oh…"

"Enough chit-chat everyone!" Professor Sprout exclaimed, clapping her dirty hands together in a call to attention. "This lesson, we will be working with seedlings of Screechsnap. Does anyone know what Screechsnap is?"

Silence.

Professor Sprout sighed. "Does anyone know anything at all about it?"

"It's semi-sentient, isn't it?" Meril piped up; the words were out of her mouth without her even realizing it. The entire class was looking at her, as they always did when she spoke up in any class other than Potions. "Meaning that it has some power of perception through its senses…"

"Very good! Five points to Gryffindor! Screechsnaps have many different uses—both magical and mundane. The flowers can be used to flavor soups, the stems have many uses in potions, and the roots, when mashed, form something of a healing paste—quite useful on burns. Your homework will be to research some of the magical properties of Screechsnap and to write a two-foot essay on it, due after Easter break. But, for now, we will just be bedding them on our trays. So, everyone come on up—get some dragon manure and a pot of Screechsnaps, and get started!"

The period went rather quickly. No one talked much—the screaming from the plant seedlings was too much to hear over, and their constant wriggling kept their hands preoccupied. Lee threw a spade full of dragon manure on top of a pile of seedlings to shut them up, but that only made them cry harder.

Seeing this, Professor Sprout raised her hand to catch everyone's attention and said, "I forgot to mention—they don't like it if there is too much dragon manure on their trays so please—" She cast a look towards Lee "—use it sparingly."

Meril worked carefully with the seedlings, though the work was so tedious she found herself frequently distracted. She looked over at Heather, who clearly could not believe her ill-luck that, in addition to the lunch fiasco and the ineffective bath, her hands would now wreak of dragon dung—and that was not a scent which was quick to dissipate.

Up at the castle, the bell chimed, signaling the end of the lesson. Everyone cleaned up their stations and their hands, and hurried towards the door. Before too many people could exit, Fred shoved his way to the front, his hand in his bag once more.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. "Did anybody lose their trousers?" He yanked the blue plaid pajama bottoms from his bag and held them in the air. "I found them at the beginning of the lesson, but I didn't want to interrupt Professor Sprout here. Any takers?"

Kenneth Towler raced towards him, hands outstretched and looking very disheveled. His square glasses were sliding off the edge of his sweaty nose, and he had manure smeared above his eyebrow. "Those are mine! Those are mine."

Fred passed them to him, but did not let go of his end. "I'm just curious…why do you have pajama bottoms with you?"

Kenneth's pale face flushed with color. "I realized during lunch that I was still wearing them under my uniform."

"Ah, a common mistake," Fred said sagely, hiding back a laugh. "Well, here you are. Don't worry—I took good care of them."

"Thank you very much, Fred! Now can I—er—get through? I don't want to be late to Transfiguration…"

"No, no of course not…Off you get, Kenny!"

Kenneth winced visibly at the nickname, stuffed his pajama bottoms into his bag, and hurried out, followed by the majority of the class. Fred sauntered back over to his work station, laughing silently to himself.

"How did you get those?" Meril asked suspiciously. "I saw them right before we came in, and they seemed pretty secure in his bag."

Fred winked and tweaked her on the nose. "Never you mind your pretty little head Mer-Mer."

"You did something to them—didn't you?"

"Me? No, no…never."

Fred could have kept the laugh out of his tone, if he had wanted to. He could have made himself convincing. But Fred took too much pride in his work, and he wanted to share it with anyone who would listen.

"You can tell me. There's nothing I can do now to stop it."

"I suppose you're right." He paused outside the greenhouse and readjusted the bag on his shoulder. "But, you'll find out at dinner, just like Lee. Speaking of which…" He looked around wildly for a moment before spotting the dreadlocked boy with his twin, already halfway to Care of Magical Creatures.

a/n I am so sorry about how long it took me to get this out. I don't know who exactly I am apologizing to other than myself, since I have no readers (and if I do have readers, you should make yourselves known! I love you guys!). This started out being an incredibly difficult chapter for me to write. For months, I would try to work on it, and just get stuck, because I knew what I wanted to do-the competition-but I couldn't think of any pranks to fill it out. And then one day, I sat down and I started writing. I wrote day after day, little by little, and suddenly I had 12 pages. And I hadn't even gotten to the main point. I just finished the chapter a couple minutes ago. It was fifty pages. That has to be some sort of record. So I split it in half, and I will be posting the other half tomorrow. Or really, later today.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Please give me some feedback!