A/N – another long drought of writing for me. The next chapter should come sooner because it's already mostly written. Hope you enjoy.
– previously on You and Me – Alex and Olivia make it back from Colorado. The next day, Alex goes to visit her mother and tells her she and Olivia are in a relationship. Then there's the homecoming party and a little bit of sexy times.
Olivia
Monday, December 22, 2003.
Her footsteps muffled slightly by her light steps echoed indistinctly through the stairwell. Up and up she went, relishing in her burning thighs; almost to the top floor, Olivia pushed open the heavy metal door. It swung wide and she stepped forward, eyes taking in the achingly familiar scene.
If it was possible to have two homes, or to feel at home in two places, or perhaps in the presence of two groups of people, this place and these people were surely one of them. The other was Alex, and for a short while in her life, the two had been combined. But now things were different, now Alex already had a replacement here and even if she wanted her old job back, their current relationship was still standing firmly in the way.
She would soon meet this new replacement, would begin all over again building trust and cooperation in a new ADA. It wouldn't be easy, Olivia knew, especially after hearing what the other detectives thought about her before meeting her and finding out for herself.
Tinsel and garland were haphazardly strewn about, the holidays were right around the corner and the detectives of the 1-6 were throwing themselves headlong into the yuletide spirit. Bing Cosby crooned from someone's CD player near the back wall, and a miniature tree stood in the corner, sparkling with lights and more tinsel. Olivia took steps towards the center of the room, closer to hers and Elliot's joined desks, a warm feeling overcoming her as her eyes fell on her coworkers, sitting around, pretending to be working. It seemed to be slow that morning and their cold cases remained on their back burners. For the time being, the detectives seemed to be enjoying themselves.
She stepped up behind Elliot, whose back was turned and slapped him good-naturedly on the back, squeezing his shoulder muscles hard. Shoulders cringing up and neck swiveling around, his eyes landed on his partner and he spun his chair around, nearly sweeping Olivia's legs out from under her.
"Liv! Welcome back!" he said excitedly, as he stood up and gave her an equally hard back slap. She tried not to wince at the pain. Jerk.
"Yeah, Liv. Good to see you're still alive," Fin smiled as he leaned back in his chair and looked her over fondly, he then picked up his coffee mug and took a sip. He wore a red sweater, probably as festive as he would get for the holidays. But it looked nice on him, Olivia thought as she greeted him in turn. Munch crossed his arms from his desk and smirked in her direction. "Yeah, good to see our government didn't fully screw everything up and sacrifice two of its own to catch a couple of measly little drug lords."
"They wouldn't do that, Munch," Olivia grinned. "They're completely trustworthy. Governments should be afraid of their people, right?"
Munch tilted his head, giving her a pointed stare and a mumbled, "Yeah right," before returning his attention to his files. Right next to them, a Menorah sat proudly atop Munch's desk, and two of its candles were already happily burning.
"Hanukkah time already, Munch?" Cragen asked as he approached the foursome. The gangly detective looked up, and the look overcame him that the other detectives knew too well. They were about to receive a history lesson about the Menorah.
"It is. You know, it's already the third day of the celebration, hence the two candles already lit. I'll light another one tonight. And traditionally . . ." but Fin coughed loudly, cutting him off as the other detectives smiled. Cragen shook his head with a half-grin and Munch again returned to his work. "Sorry I asked. Hey Liv," he said, reaching over to squeeze Olivia's arm. "Good seeing you back in the squad."
She nodded in agreement. It was good to be back. A ringing noise cut through their light-hearted banter a moment later and Elliot picked up his receiver, speaking his name into it before listening intently. Scribbling down a few words in his nearly illegible handwriting, Olivia watched him carefully, feeling a little anxious but more than ready to tackle her first case back on the job.
After another minute of listening, Elliot hung up the phone and stared at his notes, chewing his lip thoughtfully. He looked up and his brows were knitted together.
"We've got a double homicide and a missing kid up in Washington Heights."
Cragen took a deep breath. He looked around at the four of them, thinking for a moment. "It's slow here today. All four of you go ahead. Liv and Elliot, you two take the lead and Fin and Munch can canvas the area this time. Let's find this kid."
….
Uniforms were already swarming the place; it was a bustling beehive of activity. And after flashing their badges at the two young pups guarding the door, Olivia and Elliot stepped inside the apartment, both pairs of eyes taking in as much as possible on first glance. The officer in charge directed them to the back bedroom, back past the kitchen. It was a fairly nice place, just a regular two bedroom apartment, and it looked slightly cluttered but definitely lived-in. The finger paintings adorning the refrigerator alongside candid photos of the family smiling together next to a canoe by the lake gave Olivia a glimpse into this family's everyday life. And the kid, by the looks of him in the picture, couldn't have been more than seven or eight.
The back bedroom was a bloody mess. The man was still in the bed, his throat slashed. And the woman was on the floor in a pool of her own blood, it looked like she had put up a fight. The maid/nanny from a few blocks away, she claimed to be both, had called it in after she walked in on the scene from a horror movie. She was hysterical, but managed to inform the detective that the seven-year-old son was not in the house. These were the worst cases, the ones involving children. Olivia knew that better than anyone, and she knew it was most difficult to wrap your mind around how someone could want to harm an innocent child, knowing full well that their actions, if the kid survived, would negatively affect the rest of their life.
Around twenty minutes later, Olivia snapped off the latex gloves and wadded them up. She tossed them in the designated trash bin and rubbed her hands together, the powder from the latex still lingering there. They had finished supervising the evidence processing in the bedroom and were about to convene in the kitchen with their new plan of action. Priority number one was to figure out how to locate the missing child. Olivia was just turning her head to look for Elliot when a noise caught her attention. A pair of what sounded like low heels thumped down the entry way towards her and she looked up.
A fairly tall, red-headed woman strode confidently into the room, looked around at everything and continued walking into the bedroom where the parents had been murdered. Olivia stared at her, open-mouthed, wondering how the hell this woman had slipped past the uniformed guards supposedly posted out front.
"Hey!" Olivia said brusquely, and the woman turned, her green eyes falling on the scowling detective. "Who the hell are you?"
The woman opened her mouth to speak just as Elliot exited the bedroom, gloved hands pointing at her with a smile.
"This is Casey Novak, our new ADA."
Olivia and Casey stared at each other for a moment, before Casey stepped forward, extending her hand to the brunette. "Hi, you must be Detective Benson. Nice to meet you."
Her voice was low, and confident, and Olivia reluctantly took her hand and shook it, forcing a tight smile.
"Nice to meet you too."
"So," Elliot said, eyebrows raised at the tension he could sense rolling off his partner.
"The M.E. is almost here, we've got all the pictures we need and evidence is just about finished."
Olivia began to nod when the new ADA stepped forward with a disarming smile.
"I'd like to take a look around, if that's all right."
Staring at her, the detectives didn't know what to say. After an awkward moment where Elliot shrugged nonchalantly, Olivia tilted her head.
"Why would you need to do that? The whole place has been processed."
"Not by me," Casey said simply and squeezed past Elliot. All she could do was raise her eyebrows incredulously at Elliot, who shrugged again. This was going to be a long day.
….
Back in the interview room at the precinct, they had a lead. They had a suspect as a matter of fact. A suspicious man had been hanging around the apartment, or so the nanny had told them. And after she described him and the company he worked for, a plumbing company with distinguishably unique trucks and uniforms, they located him without much trouble and hauled him in for questioning.
He looked good for the kidnapping, and although he was refusing to answer any questions, he still hadn't asked for his lawyer. With no alibi, hopefully he wouldn't have one, the man was all the right combinations of creepy and charming, just the kind of guy kids find disarming and trustworthy.
It was possible this man was responsible for several other open cases. The M.O. matched this particular case and he might be the one several different states had been looking for. He was wanted for several counts of murder and rape, including the kidnapping and molestation of several children, but first they had to make sure he was the right guy. Olivia and Elliot were taking turns grilling him, but nothing was working. They just needed more time before someone showed up to represent him and keep him quiet legally.
A knock sounded at the door, and both detectives' eyes flew to it. The only reason someone would interrupt them right now during an interview was to tell them they were no longer allowed to continue because his representation was here. The door swung open, allowing a gust of warm air to gush in and in its wake, Casey stepped in and gripped the door frame. It was freezing in the interview room, the detectives had made sure of that to keep their suspect as uncomfortable as possible. The warmth hit Olivia, and she watched her own emotions mirrored and play out on Elliot's features. Anger flared over her face, doubling the red flush in her face as Casey motioned for them both.
"Can I talk to you out here for a minute, please?"
Olivia stopped where she was, staring at Casey for a moment as Elliot jumped up from his seat and reached the door in two large steps. The brash attorney had already moved back and Elliot shut the door firmly behind him, leaving Olivia alone in the room with the suspect.
She threw a few more questions his way before giving in and stepping outside. After all, they did work for the DA's office and so Casey technically could pull them out of an interview. Alex had done the same thing plenty of times. But for someone with as little experience in sex crimes and searching for these types of people, she had a lot of nerve pulling them out that way.
Olivia realized she was just mad that the case wasn't going their way, that all of their leads were falling apart and they were no closer to finding the missing boy than they were earlier that morning. But she couldn't help but want to take out some of her anger on the new ADA.
Elliot was already telling her off when she shut the door to the interview room, the vein that stood out prominently when he was mad was now bulging in his throat.
"Don't you ever pull us out of an interview like that again! And his lawyer's not even here!" Elliot was in her face, but she didn't back away, didn't even flinch. Olivia was mildly impressed. Her partner could be quite intimidating sometimes. Casey must have some experience dealing with hot-headed macho men.
"I don't give a damn!" she started and then glanced over at Olivia, pointing her finger towards the interview room. "You've got nothing on him and he's not talking. So we're not wasting any more time on him."
"Of all the nerve," Elliot started, and Olivia couldn't help but laugh inwardly at how much like a drama queen he sounded at that point. But Casey interrupted right away.
"Regardless of your insubordination," and her partner's eyebrows shot up at her words. "We've got a problem."
Elliot chose to remain quiet after that, thankfully. And Olivia spoke up for the first time. "What kind of problem?"
Casey scooped up her briefcase in one hand and fixed them both with a stare that was difficult to decipher. And as soon as the red-headed woman spoke, Olivia placed the look; it was worry.
"We've got a dead body down in the river."
Olivia and Elliot shared their own look. That didn't sound good at all.
Alex
It was getting late as Alex was drying the water from her hands and folding the dishtowel neatly to place back on the rack when a key rattled in the door. Her head shot up and heart raced briefly before Olivia appeared around the door and she breathed slowly in relief.
"Alex?" Olivia called out, her voice carrying across the entryway. "In here."
Olivia turned her head towards the kitchen, catching sight of the blonde standing with a dishtowel still in hand.
"Hey," she said, her face a mixture of emotions, frustration, exhaustion and relief, the last probably due to finally being home. She wondered if Olivia would come to think of this place as her home. To Alex, she didn't care where they were. If Olivia wanted a different place, it was fine with her. What mattered was being with Olivia. Of course, being in New York was a plus too.
"Hey," Alex said back and the detective stepped into her open arms, they embraced and pressed their lips together gently, remaining still for a long moment before pulling away slightly. Enough for them to look into each other's eyes. "Rough day?" Alex asked, studying her favorite face in the entire world. The creases between Olivia's brows were a little deeper than usual.
"It couldn't have been worse for my first day back."
"Really?" Alex questioned sincerely, and then a thought hit her. "You didn't get shot at did you?"
Olivia shook her head and gave a tired smile at her girlfriend's worried tone. Alex's features relaxed significantly and she released her tight hold on Olivia's arm, allowing her fingers instead to trail gently down the tanned skin.
"Well then. It could have been much worse."
"You're right. It could have been. But it was still bad."
"Come on," Alex said, taking the brunette by the hand and pulling her to the bar stool. The kettle was already steaming away on the stove, so she took down a mug, tossed a tea bag into it and filled it with the piping hot water. This was nothing a little hot tea couldn't help.
"Thanks," Olivia said, as she sat down and Alex slid the mug in front of her. Her eyes watched the steam as it trailed upwards until it disappeared into the surrounding air.
"Tell me about it," Alex said quietly, and she watched as the brunette bit her lip, hesitating. Alex knew exactly what she was thinking, that Olivia was worried about burdening her with extra stress and the horrible images of her day.
"Liv, please. I worked with you for years. I know it's gruesome and haunting, but we have to talk to each other."
"I know," Olivia said quietly, staring at the condensation dripping down the glass onto the coaster below it. "It's just . . . it was a kid this time, and those are the worst."
Alex nodded, taking a seat next to Olivia and turned her stool sideways. "I know they are. But it's good to talk it over, isn't it? Maybe get some kind of closure?"
"Closure?" Olivia turned a skeptical eye the blonde's direction. "They kidnapped him after slitting his parent's throats. And then later today, a boy's body turned up, floating down the Hudson."
"It was him?" Alex asked, in a small voice, afraid for the answer.
"His DNA matched samples we took from the apartment."
"Damn."
"Yeah. And on top of it all, our only suspect walked."
"Not enough evidence?" Olivia shook her head miserably. "No."
"You'll find a way, Liv. Cragen sent you home?"
Strands of dark hair fell across her eyes as she nodded. "For the night, yeah. Said we'd start over in the morning. I know it was him, Alex. I can feel it."
Alex reached over and squeezed her arm, running her hand up and reaching for her face. Olivia's eyes closed briefly as Alex brushed the strand back behind her ear. "You have good instincts about things like this. You'll get him."
"Hope so."
"Did you get to meet your new ADA?" Alex asked, wondering if her voice held any of the anxiety she currently felt.
"Sure did," Olivia said bitterly.
"And . . .?" Alex prodded.
"Pissed me off right away, barging in on our crime scene, trying to be 'hands on' she called it, walking around like she owned the place and claiming that she needed to personally process the scene."
"Sounds kind of like me," Alex said thoughtfully, but Olivia shook her head no. "Not like you. You, we respected. She's new, she needs to earn our trust and respect the line between the law and the enforcement."
"Is that all she did?" Alex asked, and while a part of her was pleased the squad was still loyal to her, she couldn't help but sympathize with this new ADA. She knew what it was like to be ostracized for being new and that it takes a while for them to warm up to you. And it sounded to her like this new one had a pretty good start.
"She pulled us out of an interview that was going nowhere." Olivia sounded hurt and still angry, but her voice held hints of regret that she had been angry in the first place.
"The suspect that you had to let walk?"
The brunette nodded. "We didn't have any reason to hold him and then his lawyer showed up pretty quickly after she pulled us."
"She's doing the right stuff, going by the book and trying to keep your asses out of trouble. That was hard enough working with all of you, that's for damn sure."
"Hey." The brunette narrowed her eyes at Alex, shaking a warning finger her direction. But she gave a half-smile, with the knowledge that indeed, she and Elliot did make it hard on any district attorney working with them sometimes. "I know," Olivia said with a sigh. "But it's still infuriating."
"You'll get used to her. She sounds like she knows what she's doing."
"I can't believe you're defending her. You don't even know her."
Alex sighed. Olivia was right, in a way. Alex should feel angry, jealous even of this new ADA, the one who had filled her empty job position. But she felt nothing but empathy for the woman. Of all the ADA jobs out there, special victims had to be the most difficult. Live victims, especially ones who'd been through the worst experience of their life, were the breaking point for most people on the job.
"She went to talk to Branch," Olivia said. "I'm sure she'll try to get out of it. Try to get reassigned somewhere else."
"He'll keep her in it, convince her that she's right for the job," Alex said confidently.
"What makes you think that?"
"I know him." Alex said. "He's more stubborn than both of us put together."
"Impossible," Olivia shook her head once, with finality. Alex tended to agree with her on that one after thinking about it for a moment. They were both pretty stubborn. But still. Arthur Branch was a bull-headed son of a bitch, in the best possible way of course. "Have you ever met him?"
Oliva shrugged. "Once or twice, never really talked to him though."
"Then you have no idea. Just give her a chance, Liv."
Olivia nodded, relaxing her shoulders in acceptance and yawned widely. "Fine. I'll try. Now let's go to bed. I'm exhausted."
"Me too," Alex lied, because she'd been nothing but bored the entire day, waiting for Olivia to get home, now that it was close to eleven o'clock. She'd gone to see her mother, gone for a run and cleaned out the oven and microwave, sure signs of cabin fever. But being anywhere close to the detective, especially snuggled up under the warm covers in this snowy weather was the only place she wanted to be at that moment.
Olivia – Tuesday, December 23
Olivia rapped her knuckles lightly on the door, stepping inside when a voice called out to come in. She looked down to her left and there was Casey, red hair looking disheveled and battle-weary. A pair of green eyes rose up to look at her and Olivia took another step in, standing a few feet away from the attorney.
"Come to say I told you so, I guess?" Her voice cracked and tears instantly started falling down her face. She had obviously been crying for some time now and Olivia took in a breath, realizing how hard Casey was taking this case. She was too, if she was being truly honest with herself.
"Of course not," Olivia started and received an immediate 'shut the hell up' glare. The brunette raised her hands in supplication. Taking a tentative step back and shoving her hands in her pockets as she stood there.
"Okay, fine. Maybe I was. But you don't deserve that. I've been an asshole to you so far, Casey, and I'm sorry for that."
"It's okay," Casey grumbled. "I've been an asshole too. I've been trying too hard and making a damn fool of myself."
"It's no big deal. We all remember what it's like being new."
The green eyes sent over another disbelieving look, and she glanced down at her lap.
"How does anyone do this job?"
"It's not easy," Olivia said quietly, remembering how raw her feelings had been upon seeing the young boy's beaten and water-swollen body in the black bag. "And I'll tell you this right now. It doesn't get easier. Especially the kids."
"I can't imagine having family and trying to do this. Is it even possible?"
"Elliot's the only one with a family, really. And he struggles every day. Not just with the cases, but the time he spends away from them. He refuses to let the job get anywhere near his family, and they suffer for it, for his detachment."
Olivia moved towards the couch opposite of the attorney and sat down heavily. It was a short walk over here from the 1-6, however cold and snowy, but this building was well-heated and the detective was feeling a little toasty. She loosened her scarf and let some cooler air back onto her neck.
Casey watched her with eyes still haunted by seeing something horrible.
"What about the rest of the detectives? And Cragen?"
Olivia breathed in deeply. She would be completely honest; there wouldn't be any smoke and mirrors from her side of things. "Let's see. . . Fin never talks about his family, but he's got a kid he never sees and an ex he never talks to. Munch has been divorced several times and has probably just given up by now, and Cragen's wife died years ago, back when he was an alcoholic."
Casey was quiet, eyes wide at the influx of personal knowledge she had just received. And from someone whose trust she probably believed she'd never earn. "And what about you? How do you do it?" Her expression was earnest and yet dubious. "How do you go home to your boyfriend at night?"
Olivia paused, her hesitation filled with brief, wry laughter. Someone must have told Casey she was in a relationship, but apparently they hadn't divulged all the details. Funny, she thought that news would be the talk of the water cooler. Perhaps not everyone knew.
"I don't have a boyfriend. I'm, uh, dating SVU's previous ADA actually."
"You mean. . ." She stumbled over her words, something Olivia never got tired of watching lawyers do. "You mean Alex Cabot?" Casey asked.
Olivia nodded. And she could see the recognition and realization that Olivia was gay playing out on the red-head's face. Straight until proven not-straight, she supposed. It was almost comical to watch. Almost.
"I heard about her being shot and the witness protection and everything. You were involved in all that?"
Olivia nodded again. Apparently gossip didn't always travel so fast.
"You'll have to tell me that story sometime." Olivia considered it, shrugged her shoulders in response.
"So she knows what it's like then?"
"She does. And she knows better than anyone that it doesn't get easier. "
Casey was quiet. She looked shell-shocked and Olivia couldn't blame her. She remembered all too well her first tough case at the domestic violence division, the one involving the two year old girl. Back then Olivia didn't think she could do it either. And here she was, close to a decade later, thanks to a supportive mentor, in special victims now and still facing the same challenges. Perhaps it was her turn to be a supportive mentor to somebody else.
"Why don't you quit? How do you keep doing this?"
Olivia sighed and slapped her hands lightly on her thighs, pushing against them to stand up. "Someone has to."
Alex
Olivia walked through the door just as Alex was getting out of the shower, and the blonde, hearing her rummaging around in the kitchen, poked her head out to make sure it was Olivia and not anyone else. When she was sure it was Olivia, the detective was unclipping her gun holster from her belt and placing her badge back against the counter where she kept it for the evenings, before they moved to the bedroom, Alex hurried back into her closet to change, wanting to talk to Olivia as soon as possible.
The brunette was relaxing on the couch, bare feet propped up on the coffee table when Alex came back into the living room. She went straight for the couch, sitting down next to Olivia and placing a quick peck on her cheek.
"Better day today?"
Olivia nodded and sent the blonde one of her most charming smiles, and it would have been a lovely smile if not for the sarcastic eye roll at the end. "What?" Alex asked.
"You were right, of course," Olivia said simply, looking over into the blue eyes.
"About what?" Alex asked, although she had an idea.
"Casey Novak. She's staying on, Branch wouldn't let her transfer, and she's definitely suffering after seeing that kid in the body bag."
"I hate to say I told you so, but . . ." Alex gave a small smile, although the situation really wasn't funny. The new ADA would have nightmares about that case for quite some time. She knew that from experience.
"Yeah, yeah," Olivia grumbled, but still she leaned over and laid her head gently on Alex's shoulder. And Alex, slightly surprised at her show of rare vulnerability, let her hand come up behind Olivia and trace softly through the short brown locks.
"So he got away?" Alex asked and the brunette moved her head up and down, the gesture moving the blonde's shoulder in unison with Olivia's head.
"Probably in a different country by now. We'll never be able to get to him."
Alex smiled, even though Olivia couldn't see. "Don't say that. They managed to extradite Velez, didn't they?"
Olivia's hand was on her thigh and it squeezed gently at the memory of all that chaos and terror. "That's true. Right again. Have you always been such an optimist?"
Letting out a light laugh, Alex continued her ministrations to Olivia's hair, knowing how good it must feel for her to sit down and relax, to get her worries off her chest at the end of a trying day. "Not until you came back into my life," Alex said sweetly.
"Blah," Olivia said. "Try working in SVU again. Sucks your optimism right out."
Alex paused. Now was her opportunity to bring it up. She cleared her throat, and Olivia sat up, turning her body so that she was facing the blonde.
"I, uh . . . spoke on the phone with Abbie today."
"Did you?" Her voice held a touch of distaste.
"Yes. She told me there's a job opening at the U.S. Attorney's office."
"What kind of job opening?" Olivia asked, a little suspiciously. "Well, apparently, with my experience, I could step right in to be the chief prosecutor for General Crimes. I'd start right after the New Year."
"This is in the city right?"
Alex nodded, smiling. On the inside though, she knew Olivia was worried she'd be in Albany, too far away for either of them. They weren't interested in any sort of long distance relationship. But the job was right here in the city, at Manhattan's branch of the U.S. Attorney's office. "Of course."
"What's Abbie's job exactly?"
"She's the Chief for Violent Crimes."
"Well that sounds more exciting than General Crimes."
"I thought so too. But she's looking to move on to International Terrorism and Drugs. You know, with her background in narcotics, that's what she's more interested in."
Olivia was quiet for a moment. And Alex, reached out for her hands, feeling their weight in her own. "Please don't worry that something might happen between me and Abbie."
Shaking her head, Olivia glanced down. "I'm not worried about that." Alex squeezed their hands together. "You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I trust you Alex."
"You know it's common for women who've been in relationships to remain friends when things don't work out. They can be friends with no lingering attractions to each other because they've both moved on."
Olivia gave her a pointed stare, pursing her lips to one side. "Sort of like you and me?"
Alex reached a hand over to Olivia's shoulder and pushed her gently. "That's different and you know it."
"I know," Olivia grumbled.
"Good," Alex said, "Because Abbie's in a relationship now anyway. She's very happy."
"Really?"
The blonde head nodded. "Yeah, with another lawyer of course. Blonde, naturally. I've never met her, but from the way Abbie talks about her. She's a real catch."
"That's great. I'm happy for her. We'll have to do a double date or something sometime." Olivia was smiling but her eyes betrayed her, they always did. Alex could read every emotion Olivia possessed in her arsenal of emotions through her effusive eyes.
"What is it you're really worried about?"
"I'm not worried. I'm excited for you. It's exciting to get a fresh start," Alex's hand moved, extending out to tuck a strand of almost ear-length hair behind Olivia's ear. She could sense the half-truth from a mile away.
"Liv."
Olivia sighed, looking up, exasperated at the blonde. "You are a frustrating woman."
"Because I know you so well?"
"Yes. Why can't I worry in peace? Without you being aware?"
"Just tell me."
"I'm afraid something bad will happen to you if you go back to work prosecuting bad guys."
"Afraid some general crimes psycho will come after me?" Alex joked, although she knew it was a little too soon to be joking about that. Her hand teased along Olivia's thigh. "That won't happen. And anyway, what would I do instead? Stay at home all day?"
"That wouldn't be so bad, would it?" Olivia smiled, completely kidding, but the thought of Alex with an apron in the kitchen was too delicious to resist.
"But seriously. I can't even cook!"
The dark-haired woman laughed, throwing her head back. "That is a problem, isn't it?"
Alex nodded solemnly, thinking about how mundane life would be without a job involving what she loved to do.
"I would be incredibly bored, Liv. I wouldn't know what to do with myself."
"You're sure you want to get back into it?" Olivia was frowning, eyes searching Alex's for answers.
At this, Alex's expression morphed from playful to indignant. "Really, Liv? I thought we were just kidding around, but you really don't want me going back to work? You really expect me to be a housewife or something? A kept woman?"
Olivia scratched her head, searching for the right response. "Of course not. And I know you want to go back and I know there's nothing I can do to stop you from going if you set your mind to it . . ."
"Damn right you can't," Alex exclaimed, anger leaking through her voice. Olivia shook her head, holding her hands out placatingly.
"Let me finish," she said and Alex nodded slowly, still frowning. "I know I can't stop you, but I can't stop myself from worrying about you either."
"I'll be fine, Liv. I can take care of myself."
Olivia gave a shrug, smiling understandingly. It wasn't the first time Alex had uttered those words. "I know that's the truth. But you have to admit . . . sometimes you push yourself too far."
Alex gave a frustrated sigh, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Olivia was right about that. "Maybe. But so do you. I'm not the only one in this relationship who lives for her job."
"You know that's not true Alex," Olivia said quietly. And immediately the blonde wished she could bite back her words, bid them somehow to come back into her mouth. She looked down at her hands, twisting them and stretching the tendons, realizing right away that Olivia was right.
"I know, Liv."
"I stopped living for my job the minute you were shot."
"I know."
"Do you?" Olivia asked, leaning in, her voice still quiet but more urgent. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Her eyes were clear and Alex stared into their deep colors, nodding her head. She moved forward as well, pulling the brunette closer.
"Of course I do. You flew across the country for me, put your job, your whole life on hold. And then you put your life on the line for me. Of course I know."
Olivia brought their lips together for a brief moment and then pulled away. "Good. So you need to know how much I worry about you."
"The feeling is mutual. I'm worried about you too. You're back in the line of duty now, back in danger."
"But I'm careful and safe."
"I know you're safe, love. And you keep me safe. I trust you completely to come home to me every night," Alex paused, running a hand along a soft cheek and strong jawline. "Now you need to trust me to do the same."
Olivia swallowed and reluctantly nodded her head. Alex gently pushed the detective away and moved over to the phonebook. She began flipping through the pages, eventually coming to a stop on the yellow pages.
"Let's be clear about something here," she started as she picked up the telephone and Olivia's eyes were trained on her, attention focused. "I realize you're nervous about me going back to work, but are you sure there's no underlying issue? Like the fact that I'll be working in the same office as Abbie?"
The brunette shook her head. She looked as straightforward and truthful as usual, and Alex believed her. Mostly. They both had their jealous tendencies. The fact that Abbie was with someone else helped the situation, but Olivia was well aware of what Alex had gone through, how she felt like she was cheating on Olivia when she was with anyone else. But it was impossible to erase the past, Alex knew that better than anyone.
"You already know that I trust you. You won't be reckless with my heart, will you?" Olivia asked. Alex shook her head, tapping the phone book with one finger.
"I won't. And you won't either with this new fiery ADA, right?"
"Of course not," Olivia said indignantly. "She's not even my type."
Alex laughed and rolled her eyes. "I thought your type was independent female, usually a lawyer, with beautiful eyes."
Olivia leaned in and winked conspiratorially. "I like blondes the best. And blue eyes. Yours, in particular."
Alex slid the landline phone closer to her, pushing down several numbers in quick succession as she smiled back at her detective.
"Let's be reckless with dinner, shall we? Thai food?"
Olivia shrugged and stretched her arms out along the couch back, leaving an open space for the blonde to snuggle into when she finished ordering. "Sounds good to me."
A/N – another chapter is on its way. And depending on how long it gets, I might split that one into two. So much for almost being finished, but I'm having too much fun with these two finally back together.
By the way – this fic now has more words than harry potter and the deathly hallows!