I let my mind wander as we steadily rose up through the tower in Polis. The two warriors stood either side of me, their eyes fixed straight ahead as they maintained their usual silence. The journey from camp Jaha had taken a few days and they had rarely spoken more than a few words at a time unless strictly necessary. Most of our time had been spent on horseback with little opportunity to talk, riding through each day to stop just before nightfall to set up camp.
On the third day I had spotted the iconic tower of Polis in the distance from where we halted at the top of a raised section of land. I had questioned one of the warriors about the structure but had merely received a single nod when I had asked if that was our destination. We were soon moving again and after the days of silent travel it was a relief to know that we were close to capitol.
I was mildly surprised when I was led away from the main path and through a network of tunnels that seemed to be a separate access point to the city as opposed to the main entrance. I knew better than to question the warrior's decisions and followed silently. Only at the end of the tunnel did one warrior tell me to stay put, continuing on to the exit whilst the other grounder waited by my side. My questions were once again met with more silence and I had no choice but to wait impatiently for the warrior to return, a piece of material gripped in his hand when he did.
He held the material out and told me to put it on, not intending to go any further until I had done so. After a small hesitation I took the hood from him and within a few seconds had it wrapped around my neck and hanging loosely over my head, concealing the majority of my face. Soon after the two warriors took positions on either side of me and with a gruff instruction to keep my head down they escorted me out of the dim tunnel and into the early morning light.
There was little to see with the hood in place, my surroundings unknown as the warriors at my side set a quick pace across what I assumed was some kind of courtyard from the cobbled stones underfoot.
My thoughts snapped back to the present when the elevator jolted beneath us and slowly drew to a halt. It seemed we had finally reached our destination. I soon forgot about my recent journey when it dawned on me just how close I was to seeing Lexa again, my weariness ebbing away to be replaced with anticipation. I wondered how she would react, would she have wanted me to come to Polis? She did ask all those months ago, before we had attacked the mountain and I assumed her offer still stood. I could only hope that I had made the right choice; there was no turning back now.
The elevator shuddered to a stop and the doors slid open, the two guards staying on either side of me as they escorted me down a corridor towards a set of doors. They walked me right up to double doors before taking place outside before knocking firmly on the frame to announce our presence.
My heart fluttered when I heard Lexa call out to enter, though I noted the hint of annoyance that clipped her tone. She was clearly under a lot of pressure from what she had said in her note and I was reluctant to disturb her at such a time but it didn't look like there were many alternative options.
The warriors complied by pushing open the doors and gestured for me to enter, pulling them shut once more behind me. Lexa did not look up as I entered; focused instead on a discussion she was having with Indra in a hushed tone. Indra glanced over to identify who had entered and her words trailed off when she saw who was stood uncertainly by the door.
Lexa frowned when the warrior fell silent, her eyes flicking up to see what had caught her interest and finally her gaze fell on me.
'Clarke?' she breathed softly, her voice barely audible even in the sudden quiet that had fallen over the room. The soft tone betrayed her appearance, dressed up in her customary battle gear, her eyes dark with war paint, a red sash flowing from her left shoulder over the buckles and straps of her armour.
'I will go and speak to the warriors' Indra sighed, neither of us hearing or caring as the warrior took her leave and the door clicked shut behind her. Lexa continued to stare at me in surprise for a moment before shaking herself out of the trance, taking small steps towards me.
'I'm sorry to intrude like this...' I apologised weakly, not feeling particularly sorry now that I was in her presence once more. I assumed she was in the middle of something but in that moment it didn't seem to matter to either of us. 'I know I probably look a mess but it's been a long journey.'
Lexa waved away my apologies and stopped in front of me, bringing her hands up to lightly place on my face, as if I might disappear in an instant.
'I'm just glad you're okay,' she told me, and I felt myself instinctively melting at her touch, drawing us closer together until our foreheads were almost touching. I closed my eyes briefly as we both took a moment to just enjoy each other's presence, after weeks apart it filled me with a feeling of belonging that I hadn't felt in a long time.
A similar glimmer passed across Lexa's face but all too soon she pulled back and began to turn away, her hands dropping to her sides as a conflicted expression replaced any previous happiness that had been present.
'You should not be here Clarke,' she said quietly, bewildering me with the sudden change in character.
'What do you mean?' I asked her, watching the range of emotions flicking across her face and remembered the words from her message. Matters in Polis are far worse than I had anticipated. 'What's going on?'
'There is no time for explanations now,' she replied briefly 'I have a meeting to attend in a few minutes. We will have to speak afterwards.'
That explained what she was wearing, I assumed it was an important meeting for such formalities. Her mask of detachment was now firmly in place, ready to face whatever issues had arisen in the capitol. It seemed my arrival had thrown her somewhat of balance.
She barely gave me a moment to react to her words before she swept past me, already leaving through the doors behind me and I heard her inform the guards that no-one was to enter or leave until she returned, it didn't look like I had much choice in the matter.
The voices outside the room fell silent and for the first time I was truly aware of my surroundings, having previously focused on nothing but the Commander, unable to fully appreciate the beauty of the room.
It was fair size with a large bed situated off to my right with a couch and chair positioned in the middle of the room, the area lit by dozens of softly flickering candles. There was a large open window at the back of the room, almost entirely covered by a flowing curtain that still allowed the daylight to shine through. It was only when I truly looked at the fur covered bed that it hit me that this was Lexa's private quarters and I pulled my eyes respectfully back to centre of the room, deciding to take a seat in the cream chair which turned out to be surprisingly comfy.
I rested my head back against the material and realised just how tired I was after the long journey on horseback but none of that had mattered when I had finally laid eyes on Lexa again. Even after only a few weeks her absence had become unbearable, prompting my hasty departure from Camp Jaha to travel to Polis.
In the short term it had made perfect sense but now that I was here, and after Lexa's reaction to my arrival I was beginning to have doubts about the whole thing. Had this truly been the best plan? Pushing any negative thoughts away I refused to contemplate on the issue further until I had spoken to Lexa about it, though her reaction had confused me at first, now I was intent on discovering the nature of the problems that she now faced and if the Skaikru were at all involved.
My mind wandered through all of the possible issues that may have arisen over the last few months but nothing I could think of made any sense and my tiredness soon began to overcome my desire to remain awake and I felt my eyes drifting shut in the peaceful quiet that the room provided.
The moment was quickly over when heavy footfalls sounded from the corridor outside, swiftly followed by the click of the handle turning as the handle turned and a rather disgruntled Commander entered. I bolted upright in the chair as the door closed behind her, my sleepiness soon fading as I briefly wondered whether I should stand though thankfully Lexa hardly seemed to notice or be bothered by my casual behaviour in her room.
'How was the meeting?' I inquired after a moment when she remained silent, watching closely as she went about unbuckling the sash from her shoulder and draping it without thought over the furs of her bed before proceeding to remove the shoulder guard with sharp tugs. She was clearly agitated by whatever had occurred at the meeting and hoped that my words did not incite further anger. I had no reason to worry as once the protective gear had been removed and her initial anger had resided I saw some sense of normality return to her features.
'It didn't go quite as well as I had hoped' she finally admitted, glancing over at me for the first time since entering the room and I saw just how tense she was, a frown etched onto her expression that said more than words could provide.
I was eager to inquire further about the nature of the meeting but I bit back my questions for the time being, she hardly looked ready to recite what had just occurred.
'I apologize for my hasty departure earlier, I was not expecting your arrival' she said lightly, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips and I decided to save the questions for later. 'You have had a long journey and it is rude of me to keep you sitting here.'
I stood from the chair and moved closer to where she stood, shaking my head at her words.
'It's fine Lexa, it's you I'm worried about' I told her, seeing the weight of Commander settling heavy on her shoulders. 'Is there anything I can do to help?'
'Do not worry for me Clarke' she replied, looking down at my dishevelled clothes as she spoke. 'There are matters that we must soon discuss but for now I have had a room prepared for you to reside in, take time to clean yourself up and then we can discuss everything in length over some food.'
She called for her guards as I thanked her, instructing them to take me to my room. They quickly held the door open for me and I followed obligingly, casting a quick look over at my shoulder to where Lexa stood before the door shut and she was lost from sight.
I was more concerned about matters after her initial response to the meeting and it was clear that whatever the issue was it was causing Lexa a great deal of stress which I hoped to aid with. For the moment I followed the warrior along the short corridor and after a short trip in the escalator we reached the floor below Lexa's and I was led to a door which I pushed open to reveal a room almost equal in size to Lexa's with a similar style layout. There were two chairs in the middle of the room and a large bed just off to the side, a large window allowing beautiful views out across the surrounding landscape. I had not expected such luxurious accommodation and silently promised to thank Lexa later.
A knock on the door sounded and a handmaiden entered upon my request, barely saying a word as she proceeded to fill a tub with hot water for me to bathe in, bowing her head once she had finished before hurrying out of the room. I pulled myself away from admiring the large room and quickly stripped out of my dishevelled clothes and sank gratefully into the blissfully hot water. My aches from the past few days' horse riding were soon eased and I allowed the heat to cleanse any doubts that I may have been harbouring.
Tempted to remain in the water a while longer I made a point to wash myself down quickly and rinse my hair through before emerging from the tub, not wanting to keep Lexa waiting any longer than necessary. A light gown had been placed on my bed and I slipped into it after quickly drying myself down, then looking around for what I was to wear. My old clothes were lying in a heap on the ground which I had no intention of getting back into and I soon located a wooden structure which opened to reveal a range of outfits that Lexa must have had placed there for my choosing.
I gazed over the clothes in admiration, reaching out a hand to run across the materials. Moving past the collection of robes and layered dresses, I was instantly drawn to the more familiar section of shirts and jackets, pulling out one of the charcoal grey tops to inspect it closer. It was light in my grip and I slipped it on to find that it was the perfect size, snuggly fitting without hanging loose or causing any discomfort through tightness.
I pulled on a pair of dark jeans that I found in the drawer below, feeling better almost immediately to be in fresh, clean clothing. My hair was still damp and fell freely down my back, not wanting to waste any time making it look more presentable. Slipping on a pair of black ankle boots I took one final look at myself in the mirror leaning up against the far wall, satisfied with my appearance in the slightly dull surface. Making a few final adjustments I decided against a jacket, taking my leave from the room to find a guard waiting outside my door.
He didn't say a word as he led me down the corridor, making a sharp right turn into a separate room, holding the door open and informing me that Lexa would soon join me as I passed inside. My mouth almost dropped open at the sight of the ridiculous amount of food piled onto the entire length of the central table as I moved further into the room, taking a closer look at the huge variety. There was nothing like this to be found at camp Jaha, the food on rations to ensure that there were no shortages. Most of the food I recognised though a lot was completely new to me; just the sight of the meal reminded me how hungry I actually was after the long journey. So caught up in admiring the meal in front of me I wasn't aware of Lexa entering quietly, suppressing a smile at my expression.
'I hope you haven't been waiting long,' she said to announce her presence, my head turning to see her stood in the doorway, dressed far more casually than I had ever seen. Her formal armour had been replaced with a light top that exposed her shoulders, the material looping around the back of her neck. Her braids remained in place but the fierce war paint had been removed to reveal a softer side of the Commander that I had not seen before.
'Uh no, not long' I finally said in reply, grasping for words momentarily as I took in her appearance. She also looked me over approvingly and made a comment about the clothes which I had been supplied with to which I mumbled my thanks, watching her move past me to the end of the table where she took a seat. Shaking my head to clear the haze that had seemed to settle I followed suit and lowered myself into the vacant seat just down from Lexa's, silently chiding myself for such obvious lack of focus. Get it together Clarke.
'Will there be a small army joining us?' I joked, trying to recover from my momentary lapse in concentration. Lexa's lips twitched at the comment as she cast her gaze over the vast array of food before us.
'My manners earlier were far from acceptable and for that I apologise. I was unsure what food you would prefer and after your long journey you must be hungry' she replied, insisting that I take however much I desired. Only once Lexa had slipped a few slices of freshly cooked meat onto her plate did I begin to take my share. Within minutes my plate was piled high with a variety of fruits, bread and slices of meat.
'What do you think of your room?' Lexa inquired as she took a sip of wine from her cup, placing it gently back down on the table as she awaited my reply.
'It's incredible, thank you' I told her sincerely, flashing a quick smile as I ripped off a chunk of the fresh bread. Lexa inclined her head slightly in response, both of us falling into a comfortable silence as we enjoyed the food. Soon my hunger began to diminish and I settled back in my chair, feeling more content with a full stomach.
Lexa had already finished her meal and I looked across to see her eyes focused on me, an unreadable expression on her face.
'How was your meeting earlier?' I asked tentatively when she turned her face away, not wanting to ruin the calm of the moment but still curious to know.
'It did not go as smoothly as I had hoped' she replied after a moment but she had said as much earlier. I remained silent in the hope that she would continue, sensing that she was holding something back.
'There seems to be some unrest between the clans' she began after a small sigh, her previous frown forming on her face again. 'Mostly due to the Ice Nation.'
Her voice seemed to darken at the mention of the clan and I remembered her story from some time ago about what they had done to Costia. Lexa lapsed into silence for a moment, hesitating as if uncertain how to continue and it only made me more curious as to what this concerned. I picked up my fork and used it to claim another slice of meat from the plate in front of me, waiting patiently for Lexa to gather her thoughts.
'It seems that many of my people have been convinced by the Ice Nation that Skaikru are to be considered a threat,' she admitted softly, her gaze fixed on the table as a feeling of pure dread swept through me. My fork stopped in mid-air at her words, my appetite lost as I waited for what was to come next.
'They are demanding that the twelve armies march on the Skaikru camp and wipe out the threat entirely.'
My breath caught in my throat at the sentence, my fork clattering to the table as it fell from my grip. It took me a few moments to process the words and as I did a familiar anger began to burn in my chest.
'Are you serious?' I breathed, Lexa's eyes flicking up to mine as she sensed the anger rising within me.
'I would not joke about such things, many clans feel that the Skaikru weapons will turn to us now that we no longer have a common enemy,' she explained.
'Then what are we doing sat here making small talk over a meal? I've been here for hours and you only think to tell me this now?' I hissed through clenched teeth.
'There will be no further meetings on the matter for at least a few days so telling you earlier would not have made any difference, it seemed more appropriate to allow you to clean up after your journey and eat a proper meal,' she told me calmly, keeping her voice steady as she refused to be provoked by my outburst. Her calm demeanour only infuriated me further; this was the safety of my people that we were talking about.
'You should have told me the second I arrived,' I countered bluntly, not swaying from my argument. Despite my dislike of the way Lexa had handled the situation I now wanted to make some kind of plan, preventative measures to ensure that my people came to no harm.
'Well what are we going to do about it?' I finally responded after releasing a long breath, attempting to push my anger down in favour for a more open minded approach.
'It's a matter of what I'm going to do about it,' she said impassively, her voice devoid of any emotion as she spoke. 'You are leaving at sunrise tomorrow.'
The sound of wood scraping along the floor filled the room as I rose to my feet, pushing my chair back as I did.
'You can't be serious?' I asked, my hands gripping the table tightly as I met Lexa's impassive stare and I realised that was exactly what she was.
'I will not argue with you over this Clarke' she informed me, also rising to her feet to stand directly opposite me.
'I'm not going anywhere, not when there is the threat of a war looming!'
'That is precisely why you will be leaving,' she said in response, biting back her own anger at my refusal to cooperate. 'Your people are in no imminent danger, on that I give you my word. I will convince the clans to reconsider and in the meantime you will return safe to your camp.'
'I am not going anywhere,' I repeated firmly, knowing that matters were not going to be solved just by asking nicely. When she made no comment in response I turned away in frustration, pushing away from the table.
'You have to stop doing this Lexa' I growled, fighting the urge to pace the room.
'Doing what?' she snapped, her eyes narrowing at my tone.
'Pushing me away, cutting me off when things get dangerous!'
'Please Clarke, it is the only way for you to be safe' she pleaded, her blank expression falling away and I faltered at the sudden change in composure. 'I can't bear to see you hurt again, not after...'
She fell silent rather than bring up the subject of my capture, taking a step away from the table and towards where I stood.
'I just don't want to put you in any danger' she said softly, no longer trying to mask her emotions behind indifference.
'And I understand that but we can work through this without further bloodshed...together,' I suggested, not breaking eye contact as I tried to express just how important I felt it was that I stay in the capitol.
She seemed to consider my words for a few moments and I could only hope that she would be persuaded to reconsider. A light knock sounded on the door behind me before it cracked open and I turned to look over my shoulder at whoever had interrupted us.
'Heda, Titus wishes to speak to you in the throne room,' Indra said from where she remained outside the room. I had not heard the name before but the flash of irritation that crossed Lexa's face when I looked back at her told me that this was not a conversation she would be looking forward to.
'I should go and see what this is about, I will have a guard escort you back to your room when you are ready,' Lexa told me, following Indra out of the room and gently pulling the door shut behind her.
I looked over at the mass of food that still remained on the table, thinking back to how pleasantly the meal had started, not that it had lasted long. Our conversation had not exactly been resolved and now I was left wondering if Lexa would actually have me escorted from the capitol the next morning. After the recent news regarding the Ice nation I was in no mood to resume eating and returned to my seat with a sigh. My irritation at not being told about this at the earliest opportunity still lingered but for now I was more concerned with the prospect of having to leave Polis the next morning if Lexa did not have a change of heart. I knew that her reasoning was to keep me safe which I could not fault but if we wanted to avoid a war then I needed to be here in the capitol to help her diffuse the situation. There was nothing that we couldn't sort out together, even if it meant that I faced some danger in the meantime.
Taking a final sip of wine from the cup, I rose from the table and left the room to find the guards waiting in the corridor, not saying a word as they took positions at my back to escort me back to my room. They took their places at either side of the door as it shut behind me, something I would most likely have to start getting used to if Lexa agreed that I should stay.
Moving over to the window on the far side of the room I looked down over the clutter of small stalls and figures that were barely visible so far down, small specks at such a distance. This soon gave way to the vivid green of the vast forest that surrounded the city. It was certainly a beautiful sight and I hoped to explore the city once everything had settled down. The light was beginning to fade when I heard the door to my room open and I turned to see Lexa enter, stopping in the centre of the room, hands clasped in front of her.
'Anything important?' I inquired, holding back any further questions when she shook her head in response, not willing to disclose any information over what she had discussed with Titus. It seemed that she was not here to talk business.
'I wanted to give you something,' she began; my curiosity peaked as I took a step towards her, waiting for her to continue. 'I was going to bring this back to camp Jaha when I returned though seeing as you came to me there is little point in waiting.'
I watched as a warrior entered at a small gesture from the commander, passing her an item wrapped in cloth which she in turn held out towards me. I glanced down at the object in her hand as I moved closer, taking it gently from her grip.
She watched expectantly as I pulled back the cloth to reveal a leather bound book, intricately designed with elaborate marks that coiled around onto the back cover. It was beautiful and I was taken aback by the gift, wondering how Lexa had known about my love of art.
'You once mentioned how you loved to draw Earth whilst you were on the Ark and I thought you could use some drawing material, there are charcoals for you to use whenever you wish' she explained when I sent her a questioning look.
'Thank you' I said softly, already thinking on how I was going to fill up all of the blank pages in any spare time I might have.
'I'm glad you like it' she replied, a smile lifting her lips at my reaction. A sudden thought hit me as I turned the book over in my hands, lifting my gaze to Lexa's as I did.
'Does this mean what I think it does?'
'I have decided that you will remain in Polis as my guest, I will make it clear that you are under my protection and we will find a way to deal with the growing unrest towards Skaikru...together,' she finished, mimicking my earlier words as my smile grew even larger and I glanced back down at the gift.
She moved even closer and I barely had a moment to lift my eyes from the book when she leant forwards to capture my lips with hers, raising a gentle hand to the side of my face.
'What was that for?' I whispered when we broke apart, almost hypnotised by the gentle green eyes that held my entire focus.
'That was to make up for my lack of hospitality earlier' she replied, pulling back for too soon for my liking and gracing me with a broad smile as she went to leave, pausing at the door to look back at me. 'Welcome to Polis.'
A second later she was gone, the door closing with a soft click as I stared at the spot she had previously occupied, frozen for a moment before letting out a long breath. How she had such an effect on me I would never know but it looked like I had plenty of time to find out. The book was still gripped tightly in my hand and I laid it down gently on the table, already thinking ahead to next few weeks. No matter what problems we encountered here in Polis I knew that we would sort through them together, and any doubts that I'd had about my decision to take off from camp Jaha so suddenly had completely disappeared, this was where I was meant to be.
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