Total Drama Chris
Chapter 39: Total Drama Izzy III
Izzy was standing alone on a completely darkened stage, save for a small spotlight shined on her, in an elegant light green long dress. She looked out into the audience with a serious look on her face. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my deepest regret that we have lost a dear member of the Total Drama Noun team just a mere few hours ago." Izzy sniffled, then took out a Kleenex to blow her nose into. "We have lost my dear, beloved Snakey, who showered me with love and kisses last season. So it is with a hard heart that we--"
"AAUUGGHH!" DJ was heard screaming, and tripping over something.
"Get off of me!" Noah shouted.
"Snake! Snake!" DJ screamed.
"I think he's no longer lost!" Izzy exclaimed, and rushed into the darkness. "Snakey, my love! Or my second love, anyway, after My Zekey! You'll have to wait backstage, though. You can watch Mommy do her show from over here. You're a good snake, yes you are! Yes you are!"
"It's a snake," Noah stated, sounding irritated.
"Snakes are people, too," Izzy said, smiling, as she walked back into the spotlight. "Well, I guess we should get started, huh folks? That's what you guys out in audience land are here for, right? So let's go!"
The lights lit the small stage brightly. Izzy stepped backward into a small green sofa, sitting to Nicole's right, smiling out into the audience. There was also a large flat screen above the sofa, as well as four cushioned and backed bleacher-style seats on both sides of the sofa in the middle. On the sofa on the right side of the stage, Eva, Noah, Sadie, and DJ were sitting on the top row, while Duncan, Geoff, Beth, and Owen were sitting on the bottom row. And the audience in front of the stage was loud and excited, waiting for the show to start.
"Welcome to another death-defying episode of Total Drama Izzy!" Izzy exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air. "Whoo!"
"Death defying?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Death defying," Izzy stated somewhat sinisterly, narrowing her eyes and nodding her head, then perked up. "And today, we have four more contestants who have been voted off the island since last time, and we're going to talk with them, as well as a few other surprises, like this!" Izzy reached into her skirt and drew a live lobster. "This was going to be Chris' lunch today, but I saved him from certain doom. This poor little guy isn't about to become lunch for some miserable excuse for a human being."
Nicole looked at Izzy, a bit frightened. "You kept that thing in your pants?"
"Skirt," Izzy said, shaking her head. "It's a skirt. And yes, I did keep him there. It's nice and warm for him, and it's fun when he pinches me!" Nicole continued looking freaked out, and even more so after Izzy took a bite out of the lobster.
"I thought you wanted to save it," Nicole said, looking suspiciously at Izzy.
"No no no, you misunderstood!" Izzy proclaimed proudly. "I just said I wanted to save him from Chris, and that I did. But hey, a growing girl's gotta' eat."
"But you didn't cook it," Nicole said, then shook her head. "Actually, I have no idea why I'm even asking you as if I expect a reasonable answer."
"Probably the way to go," Izzy said, smiling brightly, as she polished off the lobster. "Anyway, I think that it's now a good time for us to meet our first guest. You may remember him from Total Drama Island, but probably not, since he said about three sentences the whole series. He insulted women, tried hitting on Bridgette, and made out with me!" Izzy started smirking. "That's right girls, me! You may all start your jealousy now."
"But doesn't he, like, not like us girls?" Beth asked, confused.
Izzy shrugged. "Well, we'll just need to let him explain his side of it. Come on out Ezekiel!"
Ezekiel casually strolled over to the sofa to Izzy's right, though he was quickly met with loud boos coming from the audience, some of them throwing tomatoes and cabbage and broccoli at him. Izzy looked in shock at first, and quickly looked furious.
"We're just as smart as you!" one extremely tall girl with half a head of pink hair from the audience shouted. "Heck, we're smarter than you, you stupid hick!"
Izzy growled loudly, then leapt into the audience to take the girl on. Izzy threw her into a mangled mess onto the stage, and then Izzy casually walked back to her seat, lightly kicking the girl on her way back. "This one isn't smarter, anyway."
"Wasn't that a little excessive?" Nicole asked, in shock.
"I thought it was pretty cool," Duncan said, shrugging.
"She was defaming my Zekey," Izzy stated, in a serious tone. "We can't just allow people to go around insulting others' boyfriends. That would be chaos! We have to fight for our right to… well, she started it!" Izzy turned her nose up away from the mangled girl, then turned to Ezekiel. "So, Ezekiel." Izzy stood up and walked over to Ezekiel, looking seductive as she sat on Ezekiel's lap, tracing her finger on Ezekiel's face. "Why did you say those things last year, anyway?"
Ezekiel looked down. "Well, my father--"
"Yeah, yeah, 'oh, it's all my Dad's fault, blah blah,' heard it before," Izzy said mockingly, moving her hand like a puppet's mouth. Ezekiel looked down, but Izzy put her finger under Ezekiel's chin to lift it back up. "You told me before, remember? I know why you did it. Just like teasin' ya'!" Ezekiel looked relieved. "You can tell us, still."
"My father told me that girls were weak and dumb, and needed us guys to help them survive out in the world," Ezekiel said, nervous. "He told me that women appreciated being submissive to men, and that women liked that sort of thing."
The audience started to boo, but Izzy took a hand grenade from her skirt, and started tossing it in her hand, glaring at the audience, who then quieted down. "And how much did you get out in the real world?" Izzy asked sincerely.
"Almost never," Ezekiel said. "Sometimes we went out to visit some of my uncles and cousins and grandparents, but I never really knew about these other people, and I didn't know that other people felt any different about things than we all did. It was all just normal to us."
"And you know it isn't, right?" Izzy asked, smirking.
"Yes ma'am!" Ezekiel said, saluting Izzy.
"And you know that I wear the pants in this relationship, right?" Izzy asked, elbowing Ezekiel.
"Actually, I wear the pants," Ezekiel said, leaving the audience gasping. "I mean, that's a nice skirt, but it's not really pants, but these are pants," Ezekiel said, pointing to his own pants.
Izzy tapped her chin. "Good point. But I meant that you're submissive to me! Not because you're a guy, but because everyone's submissive to Izzy because Izzy is the greatest and smartest person in the world."
"No," Noah stated flatly.
Izzy looked over to the eight losers, glaring. "I'm forgetting why I invited you here."
"To make pithy comments like that one I just made," Noah said, irritated.
"Oh yeah, thank you!" Izzy exclaimed, smiling brightly. "I'm a little flighty, so I need those little reminders sometimes."
"More than a little flighty," Nicole said with a knowing smile.
"Pshaw," Izzy said, with a dismissive wave of her hand, and then turned back to Ezekiel, grinning. "Who's hotter: me or Bridge?"
"Bridgette, eh," Ezekiel said, nodding and smiling. Izzy scowled and slapped his face. "Oh, you're feeling… kinky is the word, right?"
Izzy rolled her eyes. "Yes, but that was the wrong answer. You were supposed to say me!"
"But I agree with Homeschool," Geoff said, giving a thumbs up. "Bridgette is hotter than you!"
"I didn't ask you," Izzy said, irritated, then turned back to Ezekiel. "Now, look, Zekey, when your girlfriend asks you to compare her and another girl, and asks you who's prettier, the correct answer is always your girlfriend. Capisce?
"OK," Ezekiel answered, looking down. "I'm sorry I didn't answer that right."
Izzy started gently rubbing him. "Izzy's sorry she got mad. Izzy gets jealous easily, and she forgets that she hasn't taught you all of the important things yet." Ezekiel just sat there smiling. "Anyway, moving on, you have fan mail, my Zekey!"
"You're kidding," Nicole said, confused.
Izzy produced a large bag from behind Ezekiel's seat. "Nope! Look at all of these letters! He's popular!" Nicole had a look of disbelief on her face. The other contestants looked a bit confused as well, as did Ezekiel.
"I thought people were mad at me, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused.
Izzy stuck out her tongue. "Well, some of them are, but even more look at you as a role model."
"But why?" Ezekiel asked, confused.
"Well, let's find out!" Izzy exclaimed, as she took out a letter from the bag and opened it. "This one's from Irma. Dear Ezekiel. I don't get why you were the first one voted off the show last season. I mean, there were six girls, and five guys, so shouldn't there have been six votes for Courtney? Which guy voted against you? How could they do that to you?" Izzy scratched her head in confusion, then looked straight at Duncan. "I think we know the answer to that one."
"She was hot," Duncan said, shrugging.
"Yeah, I think we all knew which of you guys voted against my Zekey," Izzy said, while pulling out another letter. "This one's from Cobi. Dear Zekey--" Izzy stopped short, scratching her head at what she'd just read. "Someone else calls him this? Anyway, moving on, you are the greatest contestant ever! And I don't understand why they voted you off first." Izzy looked for the envelope, and inspected it. "Some of these are pretty old, apparently. Anyway, you jumped off the cliff, and Courtney didn't, so she should've been voted off instead of you! I just don't understand why they would turn against you just for saying something sexist, when Courtney didn't jump off the cliff and you did." Izzy sighed, throwing the letter into the air. "Cobi, you just don't get it. It's about women having been put under the oppressive man for millennia, and the sort of attitude that keeps it happening even to this day, and it's not something we should have to put up with. A lot of little things add up, and if we want to stop the oppression, we need to put an end to the little things too, not just the big things!"
"I'm sorry," Ezekiel said, crying.
"Ooh, sorry," Izzy said, nervous. "I accidentally earned this episode one of those e/i ratings. Last thing I want is to make this show educational." Izzy looked to the camera. "Seriously, though, it hurts. I love my Zekey, and I understand why they kept Courtney over him."
"Didn't DJ refuse to jump, too?" Nicole asked, confused.
"We have another letter!" Izzy sang as she opened up the next envelope. This one's from Irma too… must be a common name." Izzy shrugged. "Dear Ezekiel, you are the best contestant ever! So smart, and funny, and if you lasted longer, everyone could've seen what a great guy you were! What's so great about Courtney, anyway? Whine whine whine, that's all she does!"
"Seriously, what's everyone's problem with Courtney?" Duncan asked, irritated.
"Beats me," Izzy said, shrugging, then pulled out another letter. "This one's from Cobi again, apparently. Dear my Zekey--oh come on!" Izzy complained. "My Zekey is my thing! He's not yours!"
"I think Cobi came up with that first, actually," Nicole said, a bit nervous. "I've seen her and Irma online. They're huge Ezekiel fans."
"Does Ezekiel have any other fans, though?" Izzy asked, a bit irritated.
"Not many, no," Nicole said, shrugging. "Mostly just seemed like a tiny, albeit very vocal group who loves him."
"Ah," Izzy said, then turned back to Ezekiel, still slinked up on his lap. "My Zekey's got some other fans it looks like, but you're still mine." Izzy kissed Ezekiel, then started making out with him, as they fell backward, still making out.
Nicole looked over, confused. "Should… should we be going on?"
"Depends on whether or not you wish to punish the next guest," Noah stated.
Nicole shrugged. "Izzy would. Now our next guest has died from a poison poisson process, a skydiving 'accident,' and for reasons I can't really figure out, thought that carrying a big rock somehow proved he loved Gwen." Nicole rolled her eyes. "Don't get that one at all, but anyway, put your hands together for Trent!"
Trent nervously walked out onto the stage, to thunderous cheers from the audience. Trent nervously waved, and was about to sit, until he noticed Ezekiel and Izzy behind the seat, and winced.
"Oh, Trent, hi!" Izzy exclaimed, popping from behind the seat. "We're through. I mean, not through through, but Izzy is a patient person, and can wait until after the show." Izzy bounced back to her seat, and Trent nervously sat down, with Ezekiel sitting next to him soon after. "Now Trent--may I call you Trent, by the way?"
"Uh, sure," Trent said, confused.
"OK, that's good, because I was going to call you that regardless." Izzy tapped her chin, then went wide-eyed, and slapped her face. "Oh, I'm sorry, Izzy ruined the joke."
"What joke?" Trent asked, contorting his face a bit.
"Your guess is as good as mine," Nicole answered, confused as well.
"Don't worry about it," Izzy said, waving dismissively to no one in particular. "Anywho, let's get to the nitty gritty: you like Gwen, right?"
"That's nitty gritty?" Trent asked, confused. "Well, yeah, I like Gwen a lot."
"And you and Cody have fought a massive war to win Gwen's heart, correct?"
Trent looked nervous. "We didn't really fight any sort of war. Gwen never really felt the same way about Cody as she did me, and I didn't even really notice Cody was trying to win Gwen's heart until he told me he was giving up."
"We just had to be put on different teams," Eva said, a bit dreamy. "Might've gone for me if we were on the same team."
"Didn't you try to bite his head off last season when he was trying to look at your iPod?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't really think that would have scared Cody off," Izzy stated. "And technically, it wasn't an iPod." Izzy turned back to Trent, with her chin resting on her hands, being held together. "Anyway, she and Cody are together again, and you are away from her now. Think there's any chance that she and Cody are gonna' hook up and do naughty things in secluded spaces, or spaces they think are secluded?"
"Cody better not," Trent said, making a fist.
"Gwen better not!" Eva shouted, slamming a fist into the palm of her other hand.
Izzy shook her head. "And you two apparently don't even know who to blame. But we do have some secret footage of Gwen and Cody getting it on!"
"You're kidding!" Trent exclaimed, worried. "How… why? How could Gwen do that to me?!" Eva was comatose from her seat, just staring blankly ahead.
"I was kidding," Izzy said, grinning wide. "Just wanted to see how you two would react."
"I'm going to kill you!" Eva yelled, and leapt out of her seat after Izzy, who was bouncing all around the stage.
"Erm," Nicole started, nervously watching Izzy and Eva running around, "so Trent, you play guitar, right?"
"Well, yeah," Trent answered, rubbing the back of his neck, then stared at Nicole, confused. "I play the guitar."
"Ask about Leshawna!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping from the curtain from one side of the stage to the other, with Eva fuming beneath.
"Right," Nicole said, nodding, then looked over to Trent, who looked nervous. "What do you feel about Leshawna?"
"She's horrible!" Trent shouted, angry. "She's scum! She hurt Gwen, and she needs to be punished for that! Why is she even still on the show? She doesn't deserve to be there! All she does it hurt people!"
"But you did punish her," Nicole said. "The whole hot box thing?"
"Yeah? Well she wasn't punished enough!"
"She could have died in there," Nicole said, looking a bit irritated. "Does she really deserve to die?"
"Well… I don't know!" Trent yelled, unraveling a bit.
"She doesn't," Nicole said, shaking her head. "We both know she doesn't. Why even pretend otherwise?"
Trent looked nervous. "Well--"
Trent was interrupted as Eva screamed, with Izzy just having took a bite out of her arm. "That'll teach you!" Izzy yelled angrily.
"Don't you think you're a little out of control, Izzy?" DJ asked, nervous.
"Or, you know, a lot?" Noah asked, irritated. "Seriously, just leave Eva alone."
"She's the one chasing me!" Izzy shouted, defending herself.
Courtney had stormed out from backstage, quickly walking toward Izzy and Eva.
"You're not really supposed to be out here yet," Nicole said, a bit nervous.
Courtney walked straight up to Eva and Izzy and started talking in a rather ominous tone. "Izzy, leave Eva alone."
"Um, hello, she started it," Izzy said, irritated.
"The joke about having secret footage of Gwen and Cody making out ring a bell?!" Courtney yelled.
"Thanks," Eva said, smiling nervously.
"After everything you've done for Bridgette, it's the least I can do," Courtney stated. "I mean, unless Bridgette was the one who sold me out."
"I already told you that I would tell you after you signed the contract agreeing to do my show," Izzy said.
"I'll do that if you make nice with Eva, and don't pull any Chris-like stunts like that so-called joke again," Courtney said, irritated.
"You guys have no sense of humor," Izzy said, shaking her head, then turned to Eva. "I'll try to remember what makes you angry and not do that anymore, OK?"
"Fine," Eva grumbled, as she went back to her seat, Izzy walked back to hers, and Courtney walked off the left side of the stage.
"Don't go too far!" Izzy called over to Courtney. "You're coming out later one way or another." Almost instantly, Izzy grew a look of fear on her face, then quickly turned to Trent, and continued on without missing a beat. "Really, there's nothing wrong with killing people if you really, truly mean it, but I don't think you really have it in you."
"Uh, what?" Trent asked, confused.
"Are you following up on my question about Trent, and killing Leshawna, and--I don't even remember the exact question anymore," Nicole said, confused.
Izzy grinned at Trent. "Trent, do you really want to kill Leshawna? I can always make it happen. Make it look like an accident."
"Wha, no, of course not!" Trent insisted.
"That's good, 'cause that was another test," Izzy said. "I never got my license to kill renewed, so I can't kill her, at least not legally. And besides, she doesn't deserve it, anyway."
"But she hurt Gwen!" Trent shouted, clenching his fist.
"But she hurt Gwen, blah blah blah," Izzy said mockingly. "Seriously, you're like a broken record! Can you say anything not relating back to Gwen?"
"But I love Gwen!" Trent exclaimed, looking lovingly toward the ceiling.
"There're other things in life too," Izzy said. "Like chaos! Chaos makes the world go 'round, and he's such a pretty blue kitty! And you and your music--you can talk about music! What can you tell us about your guitar?"
"Like, how you play it? What the things on it are called?" Trent asked, confused.
"No, not the boring stuff! The cool stuff, like how you got it, how you got through hard times with it, how you and the guitar became one and how it eats part of your brain every night to slowly help in the acclimation process."
"The… what?" Trent asked, confused even more.
"Tsk, tsk," Izzy went, shaking her head. "You just… look at me!" Izzy exclaimed, lifting her shirt to show off her breasts to Trent. Though Ezekiel saw too, and fainted.
Trent just looked confused, though. "You know, Gwen's breasts are shaped pretty similar to those."
Izzy put her shirt back on, looking a bit irritated. "Look, there are things other than Gwen. Like what other friends do you have here?"
"Well there's Gwen--"
"Other than Gwen," Izzy said, rolling her eyes.
Trent thought it over for several seconds. "I used to get along with Leshawna, but--"
"Maybe you should give her another chance," Izzy said sincerely. "Forgive her. You already got your revenge. You can let it go now."
"Would you?" Trent asked, skeptical.
"Yes, I would," Izzy stated. "I mean, I have too many enemies, that if I couldn't let it go after getting revenge on one, then I'd never get anything accomplished, spending my entire life getting revenge, not only every waking second, oh no, but every moment I'm sleeping too! Then I'd have to study how Freddy Krueger gets revenge from within people's dreams, and let me tell you, it's a lot harder to do that than it looks. Believe me."
"You've… you've tormented people in their dreams?" Trent asked, a bit scared.
"Uh, no," Izzy said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, I've tried, but it's way difficult, and most of my enemies don't really deserve that, anyway. Izzy is a kind soul, after all."
"Yes," Trent said, scooting away from Izzy slightly.
"I am!" Izzy proclaimed, pounding her chest. "Didn't I help solve that whole mystery with Gwen's diary? Didn't I help expose Justin for the slime ball he… wait." Izzy looked around the stage, confused. "Where is Justin?"
"I don't know," Owen said, confused as well. "He was here when I came in, but then the lights went off, and I couldn't really see, and he's not here anymore, I guess."
Izzy shrugged. "Don't really care that much, anyway. Anyway, Trent, you're kinda' boring."
"Boring?" Trent asked, confused. "But why?"
"Well, everything's 'Gwen this,' and 'Gwen that,' and 'Leshawna hurt Gwen,' and blah blah," Izzy said, making a puppet out of her hand again. "Really, Izzy thinks you should try talking to Leshawna when she gets voted off. It'll make you feel more gleeful!"
"Don't wanna'," Trent pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
Izzy shrugged. "Can't make you, I guess. I mean, I could tie you up and force you to be in the vicinity of Leshawna until you talk to her, but I can't physically make you talk, and even that much would be too time consuming on my part." Izzy took a bag of mail from behind the couch she and Nicole were sitting on. "And now, fan letters!" Izzy removed a letter from the bag. "This one's from Grace. Dear Trent, you are awesome. You're so cool, and nice, and if you had a little sister, I'm sure she would worship the ground you walk on."
"Thanks, Grace," Trent said, smiling.
"But Gwen stinks like poo poo," Izzy read, looking a bit weirded out. "Gwen is mean, and ugly, and stinky, and Trent could do so much better, so she should dump that stupid Gwen and do better for himself. Sincerely, Grace."
Trent was sitting there nervous, twiddling his fingers. "Um, that's… nice?"
"Not really," Izzy answered. "She sounds a little psychotic, if you ask me. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I wouldn't call it nice." Izzy took out a lighter and burned the letter, then took out another. "This one's from Ginger. Dear Trent, you're the greatest guy in the history of forever, and you're so hot! Dump Gwen and go out with the!"
"What's wrong with Gwen?" Trent asked, confused.
"Let's try this one," Izzy said, a bit nervous as she pulled out another letter from the bag and opened it. "This one's from Mary Ann: dear Trent, I hate Gwen, because she's mean to Courtney and, oh come on!" Izzy yelled. "This was written before this season even started! When was Gwen ever mean to Courtney last year?"
"When she tried to psych her out with the green jelly jump?" Duncan said, cocking an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, but still," Izzy said, shrugging and eating the letter. "Fourth time's the charm, maybe? This one's from Kelsey."
"Isn't that the girl who thought you had twin younger brothers?" Nicole asked, suspicious.
Izzy read the letter to herself, then looked nervous. "First, just because I ignore my younger brothers doesn't mean they don't exist. And second, this is a different Kelsey. This one's a little… well, mad."
"So are you," Nicole said, shrugging.
"This girl makes me look sane," Izzy said, sounding as serious as possible. "I thought I burned all of her letters."
"Who's Kelsey?" Trent asked, concerned.
"Some obsessed fan who's been stalking you for the past year, and has a Trent doll and has Trent décor all over her house," Izzy said, worried. "Trust me, you do not want to meet her."
"How do you know so much about her?" Trent asked, concerned.
"Because I've seen her stalking you personally. And unlike me, she was stalking you for evil purposes."
"Why were you stalking me?!" Trent said, worried.
"That's not important!" Izzy shouted. "What's important is that we never, ever see this Kelsey girl!"
"But I just want to love him!" Kelsey shouted from the audience, sounding insane, and holding a knife. "And I'll kill anyone who keeps me from my true soul mate!"
"Excuse me, please," Izzy calmly stated, then leapt into the audience at Kelsey. After struggling for a few seconds, she wound up tossing her mangled body onto the stage, beside the other girl. "We need better security for this show, apparently. Still, if I can collect two more of these things, I can start my own girl group. I mean, I know I already had one with the Spice Girls. They kicked me out before we got popular, and replaced me with Posh. Like anyone even remembers her anymore."
"Actually, I think Posh is more like the only one most people remember," Sadie said. "I mean, I remember all of them, and I actually liked Sporty the best, but--"
"Ginger," Noah stated. "Ginger was clearly a cut above the others."
Sadie scoffed. "But it's her fault they broke up, and--wait." Sadie grinned at Noah. "You liked the Spice Girls, didn't you?"
"No I didn't!" Noah shouted.
"It's OK," Sadie said, smiling. "If Chris teases you about being gay because of it, I'll beat him up for you."
"I don't really need someone else to beat him up for me," Noah said, a bit irritated, then softened. "But thanks."
"No problem," Sadie said, practically beaming.
"Are the rest of us supposed to have any idea what those two weirdos are talking about?" Duncan asked, pointing up toward Noah and Sadie.
"No," Nicole answered flatly.
"Trent, it's been nice talking to you, but my heart must go on," Izzy stated, punching her chest, wincing a bit. "That actually hurts, you know. Anyway, Trent and Ezekiel, you two need to move up to the top row, so we can make room for our next guest on the bottom. You may know him from Total Drama Island, and later on, Total Drama Chris. He won the dodge ball game for the Bass--"
"Courtney and I did all the work," Duncan said, irritated.
Izzy blinked, then continued on. "He also won the talent show for the bass--"
"Courtney could've won it if she had her violin, which a certain someone broke," Duncan said, a bit angry.
Izzy continued on, not really hiding her irritation. "He was also extensively picked on by Duncan, and is even currently being picked on by Duncan, give it up for Harold!"
Harold entered the stage, and took a seat on the interviewee seat, near Izzy. The audience reaction was very mixed. "It's nice to be invited on this show, Izzy."
"It's nice of you not to give me the same difficulties Courtney has with this show," Izzy answered. "I mean, she's really not so bad, but she's just so irritating sometimes!"
"I'm not really a big fan," Harold stated.
"Anyway, Henry--may I call you Henry, by the way?" Izzy asked, grinning.
"Please don't," Harold said, irritated. "It's bad enough when Lindsay does it."
"Just teasin', ya' know, but anyway, my first real question: why don't you like Courtney?" Izzy asked, with a notepad and pencil in her hands.
"She tied me up in a lamppost!" Harold said, irritated.
"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm… tell me more," Izzy said, writing stuff down.
"Isn't that enough?" Harold asked.
"Well, didn't you start that by cheating to get her voted off?" Izzy asked. "I tend to remember you rigging the votes to get her kicked off."
"It wasn't personal," Harold said. "Not against her, anyway. I did it to get back at him!" Harold pointed right at Duncan, who snarled at Harold.
"Duncan, I'm warning you now, don't ruin my show," Izzy stated.
"Then tell that dweeb to quit bein' such a dweeb," Duncan said, angry.
Nicole rolled her eyes, and Izzy glared at Duncan for a moment, before turning back to Harold. "I'm sure no one can blame you for wanting to get revenge on Duncan--"
"Harold sucks!" an audience member shouted. "D and C forever!"
"Courtney sucks!" another audience member yelled at the first. "Harold should've killed her instead of just having her voted off." Harold look a little freaked out.
"I'll kill you!" Courtney screamed from backstage.
"Yeah, let's not continue the murder talk," Izzy said, a bit uncomfortable. "After me, Courtney is probably the single person who would be able to kill you and get away with it. But hey, it's your life, so if you want to risk it, be my guest." Izzy turned back to Harold. "Anyway, while I know you wanted revenge on Duncan, was it really fair to get Courtney involved in your fight?"
"She was mean too," Harold said, angry. "She thought I was worthless, and stupid, no matter how many times I won it for our team, she treated me like garbage. She may not have physically tormented me until after I rigged the votes, but words hurt, too."
"Aww, you poor thing," Izzy said, patting Harold's knee, then hugging him.
"You're buying that crap?!" Courtney yelled from backstage.
"You'll get your chance if you sign the contract!" Izzy yelled, then continued comforting Harold. "Zekey, please tell me we can have a threesome!"
"What's a threesome?" Ezekiel asked, confused.
Izzy shrugged. "Never mind. Maybe when you're older." Izzy returned to her seat. "So, I guess even though Duncan was worse than Courtney, that Courtney was still bad, and this, effectively, killed two birds with one stone."
"Exactly," Harold said, smiling.
"You could've just voted me off," Duncan said, angry. "What? Too scared to go after the big guy on top? Had to take out Courtney instead? Really fair. Coward."
"You wouldn't have cared if I voted you off," Harold said, angry again. "You didn't care about winning, or staying in the game. All you cared was that Courtney was there! What good would voting you off have done?"
Duncan thought about it for several seconds, then shrugged. "Can't really argue with that."
"Of course you couldn't," Noah stated, smirking, then immediately hid behind Eva before Duncan turned around, punching the spot where Noah was sitting.
"Little slow there," Eva said, chuckling a bit. Duncan looked a bit nervous, then turned back around, grumbling.
"Anyway, I can understand why you don't like Courtney," Izzy said, but then turned more serious, "but we have a problem. One that I don't really understand so well." Izzy put her hands in her shirt, and pushed her shirt outward to create an 'illusion' of extra-large breasts. "Lindsay."
Harold shrugged. "Not everyone likes everyone else. Duncan doesn't like me. Leshawna doesn't like Noah."
"She's wrong!" Sadie shouted, looking angry, and squeezing Noah's neck in an embrace. "Noah's awesome!"
"My point was that not everyone likes everyone else," Harold stated. "So what if I don't really like Lindsay much? I stopped bothering her."
Izzy shrugged. "I tried. So, I want to know about you and Leshawna."
"You're giving up that easy?!" Courtney yelled from off stage once again. "I want answers!"
"Sign the contract!" Izzy yelled, then turned back to Harold. "Anyway, you and Leshawna. I want answers."
Harold shrugged. "She dumped me. I don't know why she did, but I can't say I'm surprised. Most people don't appreciate what I have to offer. I'm actually not considered a cool kid, believe it or not."
"You make me look cool by comparison," Noah stated.
Duncan shrugged. "What can I say? The egghead's right for once."
"Heather accepted me, though," Harold said. "I could tell that she wasn't the same person she was last year. She needed a friend, and really, so did I. And I didn't really mind that she happened to be really hot, too." Harold tapped his chin. "She's either the second or third prettiest girl here. I'm not sure whether I'd rank Gwen above or below her."
"Above," Trent said. "Definitely above."
"Heather wasn't taken, though, so why not her?" Harold asked. "Would you have really been happier had I seduced Gwen? I could have, you know."
"Sure, you could've," Trent said, twirling his finger around his head on the opposite side from Harold.
"Heather was lonely, as was I. Though I was lonely by choice, she seemed like she could use someone, so I willingly allowed Heather to befriend me. And since she really seemed to have the hots for me, I really didn't feel it was in either of our best interests to decline her offers of getting together, so for her sake, we decided to become a couple."
Geoff sniffled, wiping a tear from his eye. "That's like so totally awesome!"
"And, like, so totally false," Noah said, rolling his eyes.
Duncan shrugged. "Egghead might actually be smarter than I give him credit for."
"It's true!" Harold said, annoyed.
"Sure," Nicole said, chuckling to herself a bit. "Of course it's true. Don't listen to those mean, mean people."
"No one's buying it," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Just admit it already. You don't like being alone."
Harold sighed. "I've learned to accept it. I'm simply not someone who people like, and I've come to accept it as fact. It's really hit me ever since Autumn turned the entire school against me."
"That's nice, mail time!" Izzy exclaimed, climbing the curtain behind her, then climbing back down with a mail bag, and taking her seat once more, pulling out a letter. "This one's from Napoleon. Dear Harold: stop copying me." Izzy scratched her head.
"He copied me!" Harold shouted, irritated. "Don't believe anything that guy says!"
"OK," Izzy said, confused, as she took out another letter. "This one's from Jenny. Dear Harold, I hate you! How could you rig the votes to have Courtney kicked off the show?! You suck! I hate you! I hope you die!" Izzy shook in horror after reading the letter, then took out her lighter and burned it. "Stop wanting to kill people!"
"Yeah," Duncan said. "It's kind of hard to pick on a dead person."
"Moving on," Izzy said, taking out another letter to read. "Here's one from Dirk. Harold, you're the lamest person ever! Are you for real? You're the biggest dweeb anywhere, and I can't believe they'd let someone like you on TV! You should kill yourself, you worthless… you know, I really should read these to myself before reading them aloud."
"He's got issues," Duncan said. "I mean, I don't like the guy much, but wailing on him's a great stress reliever, trust me."
"Let's try another," Izzy said, reaching into her skirt to pull out another letter. "This one's from Autumn. Dear Harold. First, I want to thank Izzy for helping me write this letter, since I have trouble writing."
Harold's eyes grew wide. "This is the same Autumn who's made my life a living hell, isn't it?!" Harold yelled, then went up to grab the letter away, though Izzy grabbed it right back. "And that's your handwriting!"
Izzy sighed. "Jig's up. Autumn, come on out!"
"Autumn's here?!" Harold yelled, angry. "You brought Autumn here?! I don't have to put up with this! I'm leaving!"
Izzy grabbed Harold's hands, and tied them behind his back. "You're staying here. You need this."
A tall blonde with naturally light blonde hair and larger breasts than Lindsay, wearing a tight tank top and miniskirt, walked out onto the stage, looking upset.
"OK, she might just be hotter than Bridgette," Geoff said, looking longingly at Autumn. Sadie smacked him out of his trance.
"Thank you for mailing me here, Isis," Autumn said, looking down.
"You're welcome," Izzy said, smirking, sitting Harold over on the interviewee seat. "Anything to help resolve this stupid thing."
"Why do you hate me?!" Harold yelled at Autumn. "What did I ever do to you?!"
"Why do you hate me?!" Autumn yelled back to Harold, who seemed in shock. "What did I ever do to you?!"
"You lied to get out of your date with me, then you lied to the school about it to get everyone to torment me to ridiculous new heights!" Harold yelled, angry.
"I didn't mean to lie!" Autumn yelled back. "I didn't know it was a lie! I like how it's all about you you you, though! Not everything's about you!"
"What are you talking about?!" Harold yelled.
"That was a cruel joke, except it wasn't a joke!" Autumn yelled, crying. "What happened to me that night shouldn't happen to anyone! Yes, you had it bad, but so did I! But did you care? No! You just assumed I was out to ruin your life, but I wasn't, and I wasn't, and the one time I tried to talk to you, you just kept whining that I ruined your life and wouldn't let me talk! How many times was I supposed to try to tell you my side of the story?!" Harold just looked, unsure of what to say. "Iris helped me with that monorail," Autumn said. "I've been practicing, but I didn't want to ouchie you. I thinked you were nice that night. I don't any more think you are nice more, still…. Irene, can you help me? I'm not bad at the talking of stuff."
"Yes," Izzy said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Her friends didn't like you, and used the opportunity to get revenge on you for dating out of your league. She had nothing to do with it, and wanted to stop it. She had a little trouble with it, obviously."
"I'm sorry," Autumn said, crying a lot.
"I'm sorry, too," Harold said, disappointed. "For the first time in my life, I was wrong. I would hug you, except my hands a little tied right now."
Autumn leant over to hug Harold, crying still. "Thank you," she whispered, then gave Harold a kiss on the cheek. "I help Henrietta doesn't think me bad too much."
"I think she'll forgive this one," Izzy said, smiling. "She's nice now!"
"She nice last year too, yes," Autumn said, smiling. "So misunderstanding."
"Really?" Izzy asked, confused. "You thought Heather was nice last year?"
"She was mean and mean, but she pained on her inside places," Autumn said. "She needed heap."
Izzy smiled as she walked over to untie Harold's hands. "You've got some great insight there, Autumn. Oh, have you met Courtney backstage?"
"Courtney also with the pain inside," Autumn said, looking down. "Such a wondrous leading lady and respect she earns, or should. Why don't people look like her?"
"I hate the mental gymnastics I need to go through to understand what she's saying, but I'm even having trouble disliking this girl," Noah said, smiling slightly.
"She's hot too," Nicole said, smiling brightly. "That doesn't hurt."
"I do hot, don't I?" Autumn asked, showing off her body. "I love beautiful being!"
"Can you and Harold move over now, though?" Izzy asked. "We still have one more guest for the show, if she signed the contract!" Izzy yelled out to over where Courtney was standing backstage. "Good, she gave me the thumbs up, so we're ready with this. Still don't see why she had to be so difficult about it. No one else was."
"No one else cared about reading the stupid things," Duncan said, shrugging.
Izzy smiled for the camera. "Our next guest criticized Harold incessantly, has a weak sauce fear of green jelly, threw oatmeal-like stuff at Gwen, had her violin broken, got a new violin, played Santa Claus, stood up to Eva, tried suing the producers of Total Drama Island, wrapped Harold in a lamppost, started the chain of events leading to Heather's eventual forgiveness by the others, and pretty much was responsible for every single thing that ever happened while she was on the screen, give it up for Courtney!"
"Yes, it is I, your beloved CIT, here to grace you with my presence," Courtney announced as she made her way to the seat where Harold was sitting a few moments ago. "It's very nice to be here, Izzy." Courtney narrowed her eyes nervously. "You will give me the name of the person to betray me, correct?"
"And you promise not to throw a hissy fit, right?" Izzy asked, smirking back.
"Yes, yes," Courtney said, waving her hand dismissively. "No hissy fits, but I do feel that it's only appropriate that I correct a highly inaccurate statement Harold had made earlier."
"Which one?" Izzy asked reluctantly.
"When Harold said that I didn't like him and was verbally abusive to him, he is not inaccurate. But I wasn't the only one. No one liked him! He didn't even try to get along with anyone else. DJ got along with everyone, last year at least, and DJ didn't even like Harold! Harold went out of his way to intentionally offend our senses, not just mine, but everyone else's as well! Exactly three people on our team last year did not actively dislike Harold, and most of those on the other team didn't like him either! Leshawna didn't even like him until she found out he sent her the love notes, at which point she admittedly felt guilty about that, but Duncan and I were hardly the only ones who disliked his presence!"
"All I wanted was for Harold to keep his grody underwear off the floor and I'd have been happy," DJ said, a bit irritated.
"Aww, you poor thing," Sadie said, looking a bit sad, then hugging DJ, who smiled back.
"Didn't feel like everyone else hated me so much," Harold said, irritated.
"She's nice like, though," Autumn said. "I like Candy."
"What kind of candy would you like?" Izzy asked, pulling out various candies from her skirt. "We've got Skittles, Starbursts, Bonkers, and some chocolate candies too, but they're all a bit melty."
"I meant that Candy," Autumn said, pointing to Courtney. "The nice lady I'm sitting next here by."
"Funny you should mention her name being Candy," Izzy said uncomfortably, nervously chuckling a bit. "Anyway, we want to ask the tough questions on this show, so Courtney, tell us the truth: do you like Duncan?"
"Yes," Courtney stated. "I know he's a crude, lewd, rude brooding dude, but he's also a pretty nice guy when he wants to be."
"That's not me," Duncan said, shrugging.
"Methinks Courtney's not the only one who's in denial," Izzy said, smirking at Duncan.
"I admitted I liked him!" Courtney shouted.
"Oh wait, you did," Izzy said, confused. "I'm sorry, but I really wasn't expecting you to admit it. Threw me off guard there." Courtney rolled her eyes. "Let's get to another question, though. What's--"
"Are there two people tied in knots on the floor?" Courtney asked, worried. "What happened, and how did it take me this long to notice?!"
"They deserved it," Izzy said, shrugging. "Anyway, what's the deal between you and Lindsay?"
"I don't know entirely," Courtney said, a bit confused. "What I do know is that she didn't like Heather, and saw me as a friendlier alpha female, and also realizing I had some, well, faults, and hoping to diminish those, and hoping that I would be willing to tolerate someone such as herself tagging along with me, and probably hoping to learn something from me, as well as hoping for me to learn something from her. I think we had a legitimate give-and-take friendship, and I tried to be nice, even when sometimes she would say something that was hard for me not to make fun of, when it felt like something completely idiotic--I mean,, not that she said things like--urgh!" Courtney slapped her face in frustration. "I'm still not very good at this."
"She knows you're trying," Izzy said, smiling. "I don't think you've entirely figured Lindsay out, though."
"There's more to it?" Courtney asked, confused.
"We'll need to ask her, I guess," Izzy said, a bit sing-songy. "Anyway, you and Bridgette were pretty close last year, right?"
"Well, yes. I think so," Courtney said, unsure. "I know I got mad at her a few times, but I always made up afterward! I have a little bit of a temper."
"You're admitting it at least," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "Anyway, do you think Bridgette's at all a little jealous of you and Lindsay?"
"Yes," Courtney stated, looking down.
"Actually she--wait, what?" Izzy asked, blinking in confusion. "You noticed?"
"Is it really that surprising?" Courtney asked, a bit irritated. "I'm hardly that inobservant. I realized after I gave Lindsay the little figurine of--"
"Wait a minute," DJ said, worried. "I thought Santa Claus gave her that!" DJ's lip was quivering.
"It's OK," Sadie said, hugging DJ. "It's just… well, Santa doesn't really come in July."
"Sadie, that's not how it works. Actually--" Noah said, but was interrupted when he was elbowed by Sadie, who was winking at Noah, a little irritated. "Actually, Sadie's right. Lindsay just didn't know Santa doesn't come in July."
"Trust me a little more," Sadie said to Noah.
"That's also why I was spending so much time in my alone space," Courtney said. "I realized Bridgette was a little hurt about the figurine, so I was making one for her, but I got interrupted, and I'm hoping you can teach me how to sneak back onto the island so I can continue working on that."
"Izzy would be happy to!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "Izzy knows this place like she knows the inside of her Zekey's mouth!"
"TMI! TMI! TMI!" Courtney yelled, feeling disgusted.
"Oops," Izzy said, giggling nervously. "Sorry about that. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, or a new matter, I guess… well, we'll wait on that. Mail time first!" Izzy walked over to Courtney, and reached into Courtney's hair to pull out a bag full of mail.
"OK, how was that possible?" Courtney asked, completely confused.
"That's for me to know, and you to… well actually, it's not something for you to find out, but it's still something for me to know," Izzy rambled, then returned to her seat and took a letter from the bag. "Here's a letter from Alexis. Dear Courtney: die."
"Die?" Courtney asked. "She wants me to die, why?!"
"I don't know," Izzy said, rolling the letter around a lit stick of dynamite, then tossing it down to the two girls mangled on the floor, though Courtney quickly leapt over and snuffed the fuse out.
"What happened to not killing people?" Courtney asked. "I don't even get why you didn't like the first one you got in the fight with. Are you even alive?"
"Barely," she let out.
"Do you need anything?" Courtney asked, concerned.
"Medical attention, please?" the pink-haired girl asked, in pain.
"Right," Courtney said, whipping out a cell phone. "Chris, pick up, I know you're there!" Courtney slammed her cell shut. "Urgh, I hate him!"
"We all do," Izzy said. "Hard to believe you're the same girl who so many think is irredeemably evil, though, caring about those girls, and all."
"Well, yeah," Courtney said, a bit uncomfortable. "I'm more surprised everyone else didn't even really notice them there."
"We kinda' forgot, actually," Nicole said, looking embarrassed.
"Anyway, next question!" Izzy exclaimed, taking another envelope from the bag, and opening it. "This one's from Chloe. Dear Courtney, you are awesome! I love when you and Duncan do things together, because Duncan's so awesome, and it's so nice when you and Duncan are together, since I get to see Duncan in action, so thank you for being there! Duncan just wouldn't be the same without you!"
"Um, was that letter actually intended for me, or for Duncan?" Courtney asked, confused. "I mean, at least it wasn't mean, but does this person only like me for my relationship with Duncan?"
Izzy shrugged. "Dunno'." Izzy pulled out another letter and started to read it. "This one's from Kim. Dear Courtney, you suck! It was so awesome when Harold rightfully got you kicked off the island! I was laughing so hard! My only complaint was that Harold didn't do that sooner, since you were so mean and whined too much. And really, you should've got voted off first, since you didn't even jump, and Ezekiel did! I don't understand why anyone would've voted for Ezekiel, since he jumped."
"OK, seriously, why wouldn't they want to get rid of the person they hate?" Courtney asked. "Does jumping off the cliff somehow excuse his behavior?"
"Not really," Ezekiel said, embarrassed.
"And what about DJ?" Courtney asked, angry. "DJ didn't jump either, yet you don't say he should've been kicked off first. Oh, no, it's just me! Why? What have I done to you?!"
"The viewers get surprisingly attached to us," Izzy said, shrugging. "Anyway, doing some research, I've found out some things about you, Courtney. Some things I'm surprised didn't get out. And a reason for your recent attitude toward Leshawna."
"I'd rather not talk about that," Courtney said, scared. "It behooves me for others not to know about what that is."
"Please?" Izzy asked. "It would be good for you, and Leshawna, and everyone else, too."
"No," Courtney said, irritated.
Izzy shrugged. "I tried. And I'll try again. But now, believe it or not, we have a surprise guest for you today, Courtney."
"Is it Bridget?" Courtney asked, grinning.
"She isn't allowed here until she's voted off," Izzy stated.
"You know that's not the Bridget I meant," Courtney said, smirking.
Izzy sighed. "Fine, you're right. Come on out Bridget!"
Courtney was beaming as she stood up and looked from the left side of the stage, as a tall, thin black girl with long black hair rushed out, wearing a tight blue shirt and tight jeans. The two hugged and even squeed for a moment, though Courtney quickly looked embarrassed, and hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry for letting that slip," Courtney said.
Sadie sniffled, and wiped a tear from her eye. "She's one of us now."
"Not 'us,'" Noah clarified.
"Courtney, I really think you should tell them your secret," Bridget said, smiling. "I'd appreciate it too."
Courtney resisted for a moment, then sighed. "If you really want, I guess, for you. Legally, I'm--."
"Legally?" Bridget asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm half black," Courtney said, then turned reddish. "It's not something I'm really proud of--"
"You should be, though," Bridget said, smiling. "You shouldn't have to be ashamed of it."
"I shouldn't have to be, but that's not how our society works," Courtney said, angry. "Despite the progress being made, and despite our more popular southern neighbor electing Obama as President, that's hardly made everything equal. And it definitely benefits me if the first impression someone gets of me is that of a white girl."
"She's felt bad about Leshawna, who couldn't hide it even if she tried," Bridget said.
"I've done a bit of research, seeing what things were like for her, and the results scared me," Courtney said, nervous. "She's had it rough. I mean, I still didn't like her attitude toward Heather, or her trying to frame Heather for spreading Gwen's diary around, but really, she felt bad and did her best to make up for it. What more could we really ask for?"
"You've got a good heart," Bridget said, hugging Courtney, who smiled back.
"I do worry about what the repercussions from admitting this are, though," Courtney said, worried. "Does Duncan still like me?"
"Duh," Duncan said, rolling his eyes. "You're still hot and annoying."
"Thank you," Courtney said sarcastically. "It does feel like a weight has been lifted, but I still worry about those repercussions."
"Izzy'll help!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "Izzy's good to her friends!" Izzy passed a note to Courtney. "Just call me, beep me, if you need to reach me."
Bridget chuckled for a moment. "Do you even know how many people have called this girl Kim Possible?"
"That was random," Courtney said, smirking toward Bridget. "Who mentioned Kim Possible, and why do people call me that, even? No one ever explained to me what that meant."
"I look more like her," Izzy said, standing proudly.
"Courtney's more like her, though, with her supposedly being perfect and all," Eva said, then looked a bit embarrassed. "I mean, I've heard that from other people, anyway."
"Anyway, secret's out, could you please tell us who betrayed me so we can end this show and Bridget and I can catch up since I left to come here last month?" Courtney asked, smiling.
"But we have another guest," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "You all remember that girl who disguised herself as Heather and ran around the camp creating chaos, and tried to kill Bridgette and Lindsay?"
"Hard to forget," Courtney said, irritated. "I mean, she only tried to murder my best friends for no good reason. Jewel was her name right? I--oh no." Courtney shook her head in the palm of her hand. "Please don't tell me the next guest is who I think it is. Please don't tell me."
"You catch on fast," Izzy said, smirking. "Please welcome Jewel!"
A fairly short, short dyed black-haired pale girl walked onto the stage, wearing a horizontally-striped black and white shirt, leather jacket, and tight jeans. "Hi," Jewel said. "Izzy here said I should come here. Don't know why, since you don't like me."
"You stole the position I so rightly deserved!" Courtney yelled, angry.
"I didn't do it to annoy you," Jewel said, irritated. "Mr. Ferris thought we needed a change--"
"Please don't mention his name," Courtney said, making a vomiting motion.
Jewel rolled her eyes. "Well, he-who-shall-not-be-named thought we needed a new president, and he picked me. Don't know why, but he did, so I ran. And I won."
"You didn't even care about winning!" Courtney yelled, furious.
"Courtney, seriously, relax," Bridget said, putting her hand on Courtney's shoulder. Courtney reluctantly held her anger in. "Just listen."
"I did care about winning, actually," Jewel said. "You kind of irritated everyone."
"I did not," Courtney said, looking down.
"Maybe didn't mean to, but you did," Jewel said, shrugging. "I don't really have that strong an opinion of you. Don't really like you, but just don't care enough to dislike you, either. You're just kind of annoying, always yelling at me, always angry, always thinking I don't have any clue what I'm doing."
"You kept the soft drinks in the cafeteria," Courtney said, nervous. "That's really not healthy."
"If they want the soft drinks, they can drink them," Jewel said. "If they want something healthier, they can drink that, too. I see you drinking the soft drinks too."
"I have self-control, though," Courtney said. "I can limit my intake on such things, to ensure I don't exceed my recommended calorie intake. Not everyone else does."
"So what?" Jewel asked. "If they don't care, why should you?"
Courtney started to cry. "I need this. I need to show the world that--"
"That you can become a successful rich old white man," Jewel said. "Look, I'm not opposed to having assistance. You just refused the offer."
"I deserved to be president, though," Courtney said, crying.
"I was willing to meet you halfway," Jewel said.
Courtney sighed. "Is the offer still good?"
"Maybe you'll win next year," Jewel said, shrugging. "People here seem to like you."
"Thank you," Courtney said. "But someone here still betrayed me, and--"
"Promise you're not going to kill her," Bridget said, a bit nervous.
"I won't kill her," Courtney said. "I will be very disappointed in her though. So who did it, Izzy?"
Izzy looked nervous, rubbing her arm. "Technically it was Lindsay, but--"
"Lindsay?!" Courtney screamed, shooting straight up, in shock, clenching her fists.
"She's dead," Duncan said, pounding his fist into his other palm.
"No killing!" Izzy yelled, looking around nervously. "And Courtney--"
"How could she?!" Courtney screamed, stomping around for a bit. "I trusted her! I fully and completely trusted her, and now look what she did to me! Betrayed me like everyone betrays me!"
"Well, it was an accident," Izzy said, twiddling her fingers.
"An accident," Courtney stated skeptically. "Do tell."
"Well, we have video," Izzy said, as she took a remote out from her skirt.
"How much stuff do you keep in there?" Courtney asked, disgusted.
"Don't ask," Izzy said, as she pushed a button on the remote, and video on the TV screen began.
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: All of Courtney's friends agreed to vote for the same person, and band together! It's so awesome, being in an alliance where the leader actually cares about us, instead of not caring about what happens to any of us, and wanting to get rid of us… what was the name, though? Something with a C… Candy, I think? (Lindsay taps her chin.) I think that was the name. I vote for Candy.
Courtney's eye twitched as the video finished. "Chris is dead!" Courtney screamed. "That vote was clearly for Cody!"
"It's kind of hard for me to get too upset," Beth said, nervous. "I'm sorry. I know that was mean for me to say."
"It would've been a more honorable loss, at least," Eva said, smiling nervously.
Izzy shrugged. "If you really have to kill someone, it might as well be Chris."
"I almost forgot!" Courtney exclaimed, as she went over to the two mangled up bodies on the ground. "Can someone help me get these to the infirmary? Izzy, can you get the boat?"
"Aye aye!" Izzy exclaimed, saluting Courtney. "I'll get right on that, but first, I want to thank you all for tuning in for another exciting edition of Total Drama Izzy. Rest assured, we will be back right before the final two to catch up with another six losers, and find out the answers to more exciting questions!"
The stage dimmed a bit, and Harold, Autumn, Trent, Eva, Noah, Sadie, DJ, Duncan, Geoff, and Beth left the stage. Courtney was still with Bridget and Jewel, while Izzy, Nicole, and Owen were still seated, and Ezekiel was walking up to Izzy.
"So, do we get to make up now?" Ezekiel asked, hopeful.
"Make out," Izzy corrected. "And not now. Courtney's feeling very merciful toward those losers."
"She's really not all bad," Jewel said, as she, Bridget, Courtney, and Nicole all helped to carry the two girls, while Izzy hurried out to get the boat. Soon enough, the room was completely empty, except for Owen, who was still sitting there.
"So, I guess it's over now, huh?" Owen asked, looking around. "I'll find myself something to eat." Owen got up from his seat, and walked out the room, leaving behind a very crushed Justin, who had been squashed beneath Owen the whole time.
"Help me," Justin cried out.