Yes, I'm back with a new chapter! This story is slowly drawing to a close, but I still have quite a few things planned for it. Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing; I really appreciate it. I have one more week of classes before Study Break, which I will be spending at my family's. In other words, I will literally have nothing better to do all day than write fan fiction, more or less. Translation: the next chapter should be up sometime around next weekend.

Just a reminder: 'blah' telepathic speech, aka. Fawkes talking to Q

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own any of this.

A Year with Q

Chapter 37 - The Slytherin Factor

Professor McGonagall walked into her classroom Wednesday morning feeling rather cheerful, all things considered. As long as she didn't actively think about the 12 dead students, she could actually manage a somewhat optimistic attitude. Her first class of the day was second year Hufflepuff-Slytherin, which she didn't think was all that bad of a start. Especially since the Slytherins in this particular group were slightly less obnoxious than the usual bunch.

And so with a determination to not allow herself to fall into depression, the transfigurations professor unlocked the door into her classroom and walked in.

And stopped the moment she actually saw the interior.

She scanned the room from one end to the other. Then she shook her head as a slight smile graced her lips. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized that normally she'd be positively livid and wondered if perhaps she should run and get the headmaster just so she could make a fuss. However, for some reason, she didn't feel upset, but somewhat relieved.

She couldn't help but think that things were starting to get back to normal at Hogwarts. Whatever that meant.

So, Professor McGonagall walked into her office to lay down her mug of green tea. Then she went back into the classroom, took out her wand and started removing the furniture from where it was stuck upside down onto the ceiling with some very heavy-duty sticking charms.

Idly, she marvelled at how neat her desk looked with all the books, papers and knick knacks glued to it so they didn't fall off.

When Fred and George Weasley walked out of the fireplace in Professor Dumbledore's office, they had to double check they were in the right place. The crowded room was a confusing mess of people, divided into two groups. The first one consisted of Hogwarts professors doing a sort of collaborative rant. The second was, essentially, the rest of the Order. That group was listening to the professors with barely concealed amusement.

The door into the office opened and Harry, Ron and Hermione walked in.

"Oi! Little brother and friends!" Fred yelled over the noise.

"How did you manage to get in on the meeting?" George asked as the trio saw them and moved towards them.

"It wasn't easy, believe me," Harry said.

"However, we pointed out that we had been there during the attack and, as students, could provide a unique perspective on it," said Hermione.

There was a whoosh from the fireplace as someone new flooed in. The group turned in time to watch Remus exit the fireplace.

"Hello everyone," he smiled and then noticed the professor's circle. He frowned in confusion. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. . . " began Fred.

". . . they were like this when we came in," finished George.

"Probably still going on about the morning prank-a-thon," Ron announced cheerfully. And a little too loudly. Suddenly Ron was on the receiving end of several death glares from the professors. Except for McGonagall, who had twinkles in her eyes to rival the headmaster's.

The twins looked at each other and grinned. Behind them, Remus chuckled quietly.

"What did they do this time?" he asked.

The glares directed themselves at him.

"Well, I walked into my classroom this morning to find all the furniture glued to the ceiling," Professor McGonagall said calmly. "Professor Flitwick had a snitch that told bad jokes at inopportune moments." The charms professor ground his teeth loudly. "It was snowing inside the arithmancy classroom, pouring rain inside the runes classroom and the greenhouses were turned into a swamp."

"It really wasn't that bad," Professor Sprout admitted. "I just wish they'd left out the alligator."

"Aye, slippery bugger that was," Hagrid agreed from the corner of the room where he was towering over everyone else.

"An alligator!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed. "But that's dangerous! Someone could've been killed!"

Professors Sprout and Hagrid blushed.

"Well, erm, it was actually just a giant stuffed toy alligator charmed to move," Sprout explained. The crowd burst into laughter and the professor looked slightly insulted. "It wasn't funny! I was terrified there was a real, dangerous animal in the greenhouse!"

"Well, it's a good thing that Hagrid was there to help catch the extremely dangerous non-creature," Snape said dryly from beside Professor McGonagall.

"Oh, you're one to talk," snapped Hooch. "Of all of us, you and Minerva got off the easiest."

"Exactly," Sprout agreed, "all you got was a bunch of signs plastered to your classroom door saying "Keep Out", "Enter at your own risk" and "Beware of Dangerous Creature"."

"Don't forget the howling doorknob, professor," Ron added helpfully. Neither the twins, nor Remus missed Snape flinch.

"The howling what?" Remus asked.

"Doorknob. Sounded like a bloody banshee whenever anyone touched it."

"Yes, I was the first one walking into class this morning," Hermione said. "It scared the living daylights out of me. Not to mention what a distraction it was whenever someone walked into class late." She looked pointedly at Harry and Ron, who just smiled sheepishly.

"It was a nightmare," Snape said. Then a small, malicious smile spread across his face. "However, it did make sneaking into class late a bit more. . . taxing than usual."

McGonagall snorted in amusement.

Well, she certainly got up on the right side of the bed this morning. I don't think we tried hard enough if she actually found it amusing.

'No, Eternal One, I believe Professor McGonagall is merely happy to have something else to distract her from the weekend's tragedy.'

Yes, thank you, I never would've figured that out by myself.

'No need to get testy.'

That wasn't testy, that was sarcastic. I'm an omnipotent, omniscient being that's been reduced to playing silly little jokes on small-minded humans and watching their reactions for entertainment. I have every right to be bitter and sarcastic. Especially since my usual pranks are much more spectacular and I can't even show off!

Fawks spread his wings and sang a long that sounded very much like laughter made of notes. It was bright and cheerful and everyone in the room turned to look at him.

Behind the phoenix's perch, an invisible Q leaned against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. He scowled and growled so that only Fawks could hear him.

Harry smiled widely.

"See," he laughed, "even Fawks thinks it's funny!"

"Thinks what is funny?" asked Dumbledore as he stepped into the office.

"The pranks from this morning," Ron answered. The headmaster chuckled.

"Aaah yes, it would seem our resident pranksters have taken it upon themselves to brighten up our mood. I'd award house points if I knew who they were."

"You would?" Snape asked as his head snapped to attention. Q watched the emotions in his eyes flitter around: loyalty to the students in his house warring with the ever-present desire to win the House Cup. In the end, he decided to keep the trust of his students. But not before he had attracted the suspicious glances of almost everyone in the room.

"Severus. . . do you perhaps know something about these pranks?" McGonagall asked slowly. "Something you'd like to tell us?"

"I can assure you Minerva, I know nothing about the pranks."

She didn't believe him, but he ignored her.

"Professor? Would that work?" Hermione suddenly asked.

"Would what work Miss. Granger?" Dumbledore asked.

"Awarding house points. If you simply gave points to 'the pranksters' would the points automatically get added to whichever house they were in?"

Not a bad idea. . . if it works, it could make the game a bit more interesting.

The professors all looked at each other. Sprout shrugged.

"It would at least tell us which house the miscreants are in. That should cut the search down by quite a bit."

"But would it actually work that way?" Flitwick asked.

"It's definitely worth a try," Dumbledore shrugged. "I must say I am practically dying of curiosity to know who has been successfully catching us off guard this year. Hmm. . . I award 50 house points to the house of the school pranksters."

All eyes turned to four identical cylinders on the left wall. Each represented one of the houses and was filled with varying amounts of coloured liquid that reflected the amount of house points. They were all glowing. Then Gryffindor's red liquid suddenly returned to normal, followed by Hufflepuff's yellow and then Ravenclaw's blue. The only one left glowing was Slytherin, where the green liquid inside began slowly rising. When all 50 points had been added, this cylinder also stopped glowing.

Now everyone turned to a triumphantly smirking Professor Snape. He raised an eyebrow at the Gryffindor Head of House.

"Now then, what was that you said at the beginning of the year about Slytherins not making good pranksters?" he asked.

"You knew!" McGonagall cried. "You knew the pranksters were in your own house and you never said anything! No wonder you never got targeted the same way we did."

That's not true! What about those beautiful bright orange robes we gave him!

"Oh my gosh, that's it!" suddenly Hermione exclaimed.

"Sorry, you've lost us," Harry said when she didn't elaborate. "What's it?"

"Well isn't it obvious who the prankster is? I can't believe we didn't think of it before!"

Q shifted a bit to get into a more comfortable position, watching the girl with curiosity. He was genuinely interested to find out what she thought she had figured out.

"Really?" Fred asked quickly, eyes sparkling with excitement and mischief.

"Who is it?" George asked with an identical expression.

"Think about it: it would have to be someone who wasn't here before right? Otherwise we probably would've heard of him or her. I mean, I somehow doubt that whoever this is would've passed up an opportunity to prank the living daylights out of Umbridge."

"Right, makes sense," Ron said.

"And I think it's safe to say that most of the pranks have required some very advanced spells no first year would be capable of doing, right?"

"Right," the Weasley Twins said as one.

"So, it's someone in Slytherin, who isn't a first year and is new to the school."

Harry slapped his forehead.

"Picard," he groaned. "Of course. . . why didn't we think of him sooner."

Good question. The only answer I can think of is that you have the mental capacity of a mouldy eggplant.

"Oh. Right. Plus, he's from America, so he might not have any problems with making fun of You-Know-Who," Ron said.

"Wait, hang on a second here!" a rough, scratchy voice said from the non-professor side of Dumbledore's desk. "Is this Mr. we-need-to-watch-him-because-he-might-be-a-death eater-spy Picard we're talking about?"

"Yes Alastor, indeed it is," Dumbledore answered. "Although the boy is still quite a bit of a mystery-"

And not one you'll be unravelling anytime soon.

"-recent events have shown that perhaps he's not quite as much of a threat as we'd previously thought he was."

No, I'm actually much worse of a threat. . . er, well I will be in a few, hopefully short, months. Just not the kind of threat you think I am.

'Do you plan on revealing yourself to them Eternal One?' Q heard Fawkes ask him in the back of his mind.

Probably. Apparently I've grown to like these silly little humans a bit too much to let them go without a proper good-bye. You know, the kind people tend to wish I'd never give. I just haven't thought of the perfect way to say so long, farewell and aufweidersehen yet.

'You could sing and dance it to them.'

I somehow don't think they'd survive seven of me.

'No, perhaps not.'

Q stayed for another hour, watching the Order of the Phoenix argue and plan and then argue about the plans, all the while providing what he thought was some much-needed commentary.

In the end, the Order unanimously decided it had no idea what to make of the Slytheirns, although Professor McGonagall wasn't quite sure whether to be relieved that there was nothing wrong with Common Room security, or outraged that Dobby would compromise them in exchange for a few small trinkets. The Golden Trio was asked to help the professors keep an eye on Slytherin students and the headmaster promised a case of candy to whomever could bring him evidence as to the identity of the prankster.

Also, and much to Q's amusement, it approved Dumbledore's suggestion to invite Professor Janeway to join the Order.

They also discussed other security measures and the incompetency of the ministry, but Q tuned those out. As the meeting started to wind down, he said good-bye to Fawks and before the great, golden bird could blink, he was back in his dorm room and sitting on his bed with an open textbook in his lap.

It wasn't until they were on their way out that realization hit the Weasley Twins.

"Bloody Hell!" Fred suddenly cried out.

"Watch your mouth young man!" came his mother's automatic response. However, neither one of the twins paid any attention to her as they instead stared at each other in horror.

"We've actually offered. . ." one of them started.

". . . a partnership of our joke shop. . ." the other continued.

". . .to a Slytherin!"

They both put their heads in their hands and groaned. Everyone else rolled their eyes. Except for Professor Snape, whose only response was a rather enigmatic half-smile.

Half an hour later, Q sensed Snape walking into the Slytherin Common Room. Curious, he got up and went to see what was going on.

Just outside his room he ran into Pansy.

"Q, Snape's in the Common Room and says he'd like to speak to everyone," she said as she stopped to knock on the sixth year boy's dorm room door.

Aaah, he must be here to tell us the professors are on to us. How very considerate of him. I guess he'd like to see our grand finale at the end of the year as well. Except that he doesn't know there's going to be one yet. . .

Professor Snape was already sitting in one of the leather chairs in front of the fireplace when Q walked in. He was chatting with Draco, who was in 'his' chair surrounded by Arithmancy notes, several books and half an essay. Draco was the first to notice Q.

"Ah, there you are," he said.

"Hello Draco, professor," Q answered. Snape inclined his head in greeting as Q plopped down onto one of the remaining leather armchairs. "So, what's the occasion? Gryffindor Tower blow up? Or has Voldylocks announced his early retirement plans?"

Snape rolled his eyes and Q noticed how the corners of his lips quivered. Draco tried to hide his laughter with a cough.

"I somehow don't think Dark Lords do early retirement," Millicent laughed as she joined them with Pansy.

"Probably not worth it," Pansy added. "I mean, no pension to speak of, absolutely no health benefits and you'd get constantly hounded by aurors."

Blaise leant against Draco's chair with a rather thoughtful look on his face. By now most of the other Slytherins had arrived and were variously scattered around the Common Room whispering amongst each other.

Snape coughed and the whispering stopped.

"I have just come from a staff meeting," he said. Then he looked around to make sure he had everyone's attention. "First of all, I would like to congratulate you all on the success of your pranks this morning. However, if I ever figure out who charmed the doorknob to my classroom, that individual or individuals will be cleaning cauldrons until they either graduate or their arms fall off."

A couple of fifth years in the back corner of the room looked at each other and gulped.

"Were the other professors angry?" Draco asked innocently.

"Yes, especially Professors Sprout, Flitwick and Hooch. However, Professor McGonagall, infuriatingly enough, actually seemed amused by it all. The alligator in particular seemed to be a favourite."

Pansy shared a grin with several seventh years, including her transfigurations wiz friend. Snape took note of this and continued.

"I would also like to congratulate you all on winning 50 points for Slytherin House. Apparently, the headmaster shared Professor McGonagall's appreciation for your attempt to distract the school's masses from Saturday's tragedy."

Cheers erupted in the Slytherin Common Room and many people turned to the mantel to toast with imaginary glasses.

Blaise scoffed.

"That's not even close to the truth, but we'll take the points anyway."

"That's right," Millicent added. "We've been planning some of those pranks for weeks."

"And they weren't done for the Gryffindors," a fifth year boy in the back protested vehemently.

"Wait a minute," Draco suddenly called out, raising his hand in a request for silence. "How did Dumbledore know to give Slytherin those points?"

Snape gave Draco a little smile and told them what had happened in the headmaster's office. Excluding the part about the Order of the Phoenix being present, of course. After he was done, whispers broke out once again, as the students tried to figure out what it meant that the entire staff knew of Slytherin's involvement with the pranks.

"Hmm. .. so they think I'm the prankster do they?" Q said with a smirk. "I wonder how long it'll take them to figure out I never would've been able to set up all these pranks on my own."

Well, not if I was human I wouldn't have. As myself I could turn the entire school into one big monster joke house, but that's not the point. Although it is a good idea.

"So what do we do know?" Pansy asked no one in particular. "I mean, I was rather looking forward to no one actually figuring us out so that we could do a large unveiling at the end of the year."

"We confuse them," Q answered. Everyone looked to him for clarification. Q rolled his eyes. "We just have to plan where the people not participating in the pranks are going to be as well as the people participating. Make different people visible at different times. I'm their main suspect at the moment, so you'll all have to compensate while I make sure I'm around where they can see me act all surprised when things start happening."

"Makes sense," said Draco, "as long as we make sure it's not obvious that we're sticking people in places just so they can be seen."

"Of course."

"Hey, this could be even more fun!" Millicent suddenly said. There was a general chorus of agreement from around the room.

Professor stood up.

"I shall leave you to discuss your new battle strategy," he announced. "Oh, and Selkirk, Wordslock, Baddock and Twitterpate, tomorrow, my office at seven o'clock. I believe you'll have some cauldrons to clean."

The fifth years didn't even bother protesting as they swore under their breathes, wondering if their head of house was somehow omniscient.

With a dramatic sweep of robes, Snape sailed out of Slytherin House.

Overlooking the scheming and plotting in the Common Room, were two framed pictures on the mantle. The pictures had been taken at the last Hogsmeade weekend the year before and each featured a girl in school robes. One held an ice cream cone in her hand as she smiled and twirled for the camera. The other was sitting inside the Three Broomsticks toasting the photographer with a half-empty pitcher of butterbeer. There was a small white candle beside each photograph and a bouquet of white kala lilies between them in a clear crystal vase with a wide, black ribbon tied around them. The mantel was covered in a black silk runner.

Both had been in fifth year and both of them were dead.

Ok, so I realize this was a much shorter chapter than usual. Gee, I remember a time when 10 pages was long for me. . . lol! It was actually supposed to be longer, but this just seemed like such a natural ending.

Please review!