CHAPTER 35: PR

The next day after Theatre, Jeremy actually came up to talk to me. No, it wasn't about Dracula; it was something unexpected.

"Hey, Vlad," chirped the actor too positively. I inadvertently cringed.

"Um, hi…" I continued.

"I heard about your falling out with Amber. Lovers' quarrel, am I right?"

"I'm taking it that you slept with Pam."

"Good Lord above would smite me if I did that! So, you and Amber used to be a thing?"

"No. Why?"

"Just fact-checking. Look, I think I can help you learn how to talk better and not seem… so… you know… uh… you."

"Great! Look I honestly don't understand grieving. I never have."

"And that's okay! Everyone's been there. We don't realize how to relate to certain situations unless we've been there ourselves. Losing a loved one is a hard one to learn, but I can teach ya!"

"It's tempting…"

"Oh please, Vlad! I know I butchered Dracula, but you can move on, can't you?"

"What?"

"I am your faithful understudy! I will make sure that you are perfect so I can be perfect! It's my sworn duty to uphold this socially-binding contract!"

"Um, I guess I could…"

"Sweet! You won't regret this! PR is my life!"

Why did I feel like I would?

I met up with Jeremy and Pam at the sandwich place. This was my first time alone after classes, so I had to be super cautious about my powers activating at any given time.

Pam looked bored out of her mind while Jeremy looks like his smile was plastered on there since this morning.

"Hello again! So, are you ready to begin your PR training?"

"Sure."

"First, let me check your aura."

"My what now?"

"You know, the vibe you give off. Got to make sure Pam is not influencing it because she gives off super negative vibes sometimes."

"Meh…" she weakly defends as she files her black fingernails.

"Hmmmmmm… Ah, I see! You seem involved in the occult, and yet you're a man of science. Interesting… Lose the mullet."

"What?!" I say flabbergasted. "No way! It's my look!"

"Said everyone who had a mullet ever!"

"But… I like it…"

"Trust me, it looks like you are not clean-cut, something that ups your PR points."

"Ugh… Whatever, Mom…"

"Hold it! Your white hair might come to an advantage here. Have you considered a ponytail?"

"Oh, that's a great idea, actually!"

"Well this is my major!"

"Makes sense." Too much sense, if you ask me!

"Pamela, please do his hair for me." She turns me so that she can tie up my hair.

"Why Pam of all people?"

"She's a diamond in the rough, okay? I know with a little persuasion she can become the talk of the town, my masterpiece!"

"Meh," Pam replies casually. "Alrighty, your ponytail is done."

"Compact." Jeremy's girlfriend pulls out a compact mirror. I look rather sophisticated and thoughtful. Maybe this could win back Maddie…

"Okay," I concede, "I'll bite."

"Wonderful! Now let's talk about how you talk. See what I did there? Humor."

"I get humor, but you failed to amuse me."

"We'll work om that attitude, I promise."