Chapter 38

To Be Loved

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

Sitting on the couch with their family and friends Yuri watched his son be completely amused by Yuuko. He was having a ball while she played with him and tried to teach him different things. You could tell she was a parent she was amazing. Hearing his mother and Viktor's try to have a conversation Yuri tuned back in to help translate. His mother was trying to learn a little English so she could speak with Viktor's mother easier though she was struggling and needed help more times than not. Still, the idea was really nice and Yuri didn't mind trying to help her. Thinking back to just before he thought about what Mrs. Nikiforov asked his mother, how soon could they get married? Technically it wouldn't take long. They could do a quick thing at the inn and that would be that but they all knew Viktor would never agree to it even now. Personally, he was fine with whatever. Though, if he could have a decently planned wedding he would like that.

Hearing the room quiet down Yuri saw Viktor out of their bedroom. He was just standing there, he didn't say a word, he didn't even look like his mind was with him before he went to the bathroom down the hall. This was awful. Viktor didn't deserve this, no one did. He didn't do anything wrong. They had looked into things a bit further once they let Viktor go back to sleep and saw he was right. The Russian databases for figure skating held no mention of his name. They didn't even have a record that he even skated for them. The Olympic files had him removed, everything that showed Viktor Nikiforov existed was gone. This seemed a bit harsh. So he was in a same sex relationship it wasn't the end of the world. Once he came out of the bathroom Yuri moved over a bit next to his mother so Viktor could sit beside him. It was obvious he was still hurting, his eyes were puffy, he was in sweats that were ripped, and his shirt was the one he slept in. Viktor had no care for his appearance which was completely unlike him. Hearing Alexander get all excited that his father was here Yuri saw Yuuko help him move closer. Lifting him up, Yuri carefully put him on Viktor's lap worried about what Viktor would do. Watching him put his arms around his son to make sure he didn't fall Yuri moved away just a bit.

"Are you hungry Viktor? Your mom made lunch for everyone earlier. There is still left over."

Shaking his head, Viktor just looked at his son leaving Yuri to feel his heart break further. He wished he could help him somehow, make things right, make him happy again. Viktor deserved better than this. Everyone silently awed as Alexander snuggled up against his father to hug him and fall asleep. It was clear that their six month old son knew something was wrong with his father and wanted to help him feel better too.

"I can't believe how dark his hair got, Yuri, Considering how silver it was when he was born." At Yuuko's words Yuri nodded and smiled while he gently pet his sons head.

"It looks beautiful with his light eyes though." The room agreed while Yuri looked at Viktor with a side glance. His eyes were glossy, he was looking at his son but he wasn't seeing him. Touching his shoulder he saw Viktor flinch before looking up at him.

"Sorry. I didn't want to scare you. I just want to make sure you take care of yourself."

Seeing him just nod he handed Alexander over to him, who wasn't too happy with this idea, and stood up.

"Viktor?"

"Where is your phone?"

"On the kitchen table. Why?" Not getting a response he saw his fiancée grab his phone and head back to their room.

"Viktor!" Handing his son over to his mother, Yuri was on his feet to go after him. Standing in the bedroom doorway he heard Viktor on the phone with someone. Hearing Russian he was curious as to who he was talking to and why all of a sudden? And why his phone? Viktor's was sitting on the nightstand. Shortly after Viktor hung up Yuri moved to sit next to him on the bed.

"Why did you have to use my phone to call whoever?"

"Yakov. And I don't want anyone to know it's me. I don't exist now. They could get in trouble."

"I highly doubt anyone would get in trouble for talking to you. If the government is going to go so far as to monitor the calls you make they have a lot of free time."

"What do you know?!"

Recoiling back Yuri tried not to get angry. He kept telling himself this wasn't the man he loved. This was the product of being in pain and feeling lost he just had to be patient.

"Viktor. Listen to me alright. Your friends and family are really worried about you. We know we can't make things magically better but we can tell you and promise you you won't leave us. Russia doing what it did doesn't mean Japan will throw you out. Even if they tried I would never let them. Please. Please don't forget I love you." Kissing his cheek he went to move off the bed only to be stopped by Viktor. Being pulled closer he was held tightly by the one he loved. Falling to the bed with the other Yuri heard Viktor crying on him as he was kept close.

A while later Yuri left his room to see just their mothers and Alexander in the living room. It seemed their friends had left for the day but would be there if they needed anything.

"He is asleep again Yuri?"

"No. He was awake when I left. I just wanted to check on Alexander. It's a habit."

"I'm going to talk to him then. Excuse me." Letting Viktor's mother go do as she pleased Yuri went to work on dinner. He was really hoping to get Viktor to eat something. He hadn't eaten since they were in Tokyo. Looking over his shoulder as he heard movement behind him he saw his mother put Alexander in his high chair while she came over to help.

"He will be alright dear. Don't worry."

"I know mom. I know in time everything will be okay. I just. I really love him and I feel awful this happened. We talked about him losing his citizenship and told me he wouldn't be able to travel until he was a citizen here and had a Japanese passport but we never saw this. They are treating him as some sort of traitor and he isn't."

"He comes from a very different country. Maybe to them this is treason."

Yuri hated to admit it but maybe she was right. They loved Viktor, he brought so much attention to Russia and to the sport. Maybe since they learned he wasn't straight they thought of it as a betrayal. Everyone knew Russia wasn't a fan of homosexuals.

"I just want him to understand we will find a way for things to be okay. Even if Russia doesn't accept him I want him to be able to go visit his mom, see the places he knew growing up."

"It will happen Yuri. Just keep the faith."

Making dinner Yuri went to get Viktor and tell him it was ready only to see him coming out of their room with his mother. Time. He reminded himself again that Viktor needed time.

"Dinner is ready Viktor. Please come eat. I made your favorite." Moving to show the set table there was katsudon waiting for him. He knew Viktor told him he loved the food here and eating pork cutlet bowl was probably the best thing he had ever had. Seeing him sit in his normal spot Yuri sat next to him and Alexander, though his son seemed to be getting fed by his adoring Babushka. Watching Viktor's hand shaking while he tried to hold chopsticks Yuri reached over to fix them and make it easier for him.

"Would you rather a fork?" He didn't want to seem condescending and they had for their out of country friends and family since not all of them knew how to use chopsticks anyway.

"I'm okay." Watching him try again Yuri saw he struggled but he managed. He was probably really hungry, Viktor hadn't had an issue with them for as long as he knew him.

"Do you like it?" At his nod Yuri smiled. It wasn't all the time they made this. In fact if he remembered correctly the last time he made it for them was for Viktor's birthday. Staying silent a bit Yuri let a thought he had come to his lips. Maybe it would make Viktor have a real smile on his face. The one he was using for their son was painful to watch.

"I'm glad we can do this Viktor." Realizing Viktor was watching him confused by what he said Yuri smiled and pointed to their meal. "Remember when you first started with me, I told you what I hoped to do if I won the grand prix. I know it's a little late but we got a little side tracked." It took a moment but there it was, this beautiful, genuine smile. It was small but it was there and Yuri couldn't have been happier to see it.

"What did you hope to do if you won the final hun?" At Mrs. Nikiforov's question Yuri looked down a bit and felt his face blush.

"I told Viktor that if I won I wanted to eat this with him. It seems stupid now but back then I never figured we would have come so far."

"I think its sweet Yuri." At her words he nodded in thanks and tried to look back at Viktor. He was looking at him, his eyes were still saddened but in the small corner he could see this little twinkle. There was the man he loved.

"I'm sorry I forgot Yuri."

"It's okay. We all know you are forgetful. Yurio and I are always trying to remind you of things you promised you said you would do." The smile got a little bigger. It wasn't nearly as big as it usually was but this was better than nothing.

"Viktor. Since you are out of bed I will tell you what I told Yuri earlier. I was talking with Mrs. Katsuki here and we are going to help you boys with your wedding planning. That doesn't mean we will actually decide anything for you we will just make sure your plans happen."

"Okay but why? Yuri and I can handle it."

"I know you boys can but I also know you want to house hunt. The off season is short and you both want to do a lot at once. I also told you I did want to be involved in the planning."

"Mother, you are not paying for our wedding."

"Yes I am. I've already decided it. You boys just tell me what you want and I'll see to it that it happens. I am going to make sure you have the most memorable wedding." Her enthusiasm was a nice touch for the atmosphere right now and seemed to make Viktor more active than he had been.

Getting ready to clean up Yuri was stopped by Viktor asking if there was more.

"Yes, would you like?"

"I can get it, just curious. It hit me how hungry I am." Making Viktor stay where he was Yuri grabbed his bowl and grabbed more for him.

"Thank you Yuri. And. I'm sorry I have been a jerk to you lately. I hope you can forgive me."

"You haven't been yourself it's alright. Glad you are slowly coming back to me though." Giving his cheek a kiss Yuri finally saw that full smile he fell in love with.

"You are amazing Yuri. I am so lucky to have you in my life." Receiving a kiss from his love it was obvious he forgot their mothers were right there watching all of this. Moving away they heard the ladies sigh in contentment and help clean up from dinner.

That night Yuri saw Viktor shower before helping bathe their son and get him ready for bed. It was nice to see him out of bed and trying to get his life back on track. Handing Alexander over to his father's waiting arms he saw him give him a nice hug.

"Daddy is really sorry he wasn't paying attention to you today. Can you forgive him?" Seeing Alexander smile and hug him Yuri figured that was a yes.

"He really loves you you know that right?"

"I know he does. I was stupid for letting this get to me."

"No you aren't. That was your life. You had every right to get upset."

"Was is the correct word. This little guy and you are my life now. We both knew I never planned to go back to Russia as anything but a tourist so who cares what the books said."

"Stop lying to yourself. Sure you have a family now but that doesn't mean you have to forget all you used to do. Who knows, maybe Japan will want you as a skater for us." Laughing, he saw Viktor smile.

"Tempting but I gracefully decline. I've seen my competition and I can't compete." Getting another kiss from Viktor Yuri kissed him back. "Now let's get our little man to bed he looks beat."

"He had a busy day. Yuuko was helping him learn shapes and colors." Joking around with Viktor he looked amused.

"Our little boy is getting so big." Alexander moved to snuggle his father as he was brought over to the rocker for a story to fall asleep too.

Getting to their own bed and having the place to themselves again Yuri was brought close to the other.

"I want to apologize again for how I treated you. This isn't your fault. I love you and I knew this could happen."

"Do you regret your decision to tell the world about us?"

"No. Not even for a second. My mother was right. If I wanted to follow my heart I would have to be ready for what happened next. And I am ready. I want to be your husband and I want Japan to officially be my home."

"I love you Viktor."

"I love you too Yuri." With a kiss that shared their love for each other they fell asleep with the other close.

A few days later the men were exploring the town with Viktor's mother. They were looking for a good place to hold the wedding at. Neither wanted to have it at the inn and for a few reasons. One was because they would have to kick those staying out and that wasn't fair to them. The other was that Yuri knew his parents would do a lot to make the place perfect for them and that meant they would do way more than they had to.

"Do you guys know when you would like the wedding to be?" Looking at each other after they heard her question both shrugged their shoulders.

"The sooner would probably be better all things considered but too soon would mean our close friends wouldn't have time to make it."

"Phichit would hate me if he missed this." Yuri could see it now, he would never hear the end of it from his old friend.

"Would you like it before or after Alexander's birthday then?" Again he men looked at each other before looking at their son who was looking around in his stroller holding his stuffed tiger. Yuri lost focus on him for a second as he saw he was covered in droll again. So much to wash again.

"After would give us more time. If we did it soon after his birthday those that would like to attend both could easier than if they had to fly back and forth." Agreeing with Viktor's thought Yuri pulled out his phone.

"August is close to the start of the season though. We will be focusing on practice then. Maybe we should have the wedding in July. We will still hold Alexander's birthday on the ninth like we planned but that can be more a family affair."

"I could handle July. And we can do whatever you'd like for that Yuri."

"It would give you time for a honeymoon."

"Are we planning a honeymoon?" Yuri seriously asked Viktor. It wasn't something they talked about at all.

"Of course you guys are taking a honeymoon. When I got married to Viktor's father we went to the Caribbean for a week. Most relaxing time I had." Yuri listened intently to her story about her time there until Viktor stepped between them.

"Hold up! I have to ask something. Didn't you tell me your wedding anniversary was in August?"

"Yes. We got married August twenty-first nineteen eighty-nine."

"I knew it!"

Yuri jumped as Viktor exclaimed while pointing a finger at his mother.

"You bitched and moaned to me for weeks after you found out I got Yuri pregnant before we were married but you had me four months after yours!"

Yuri smiled as he saw the smug look on Viktor's face, he was having a blast roasting his mother. She didn't seem phased by it though.

"You are right Viktor, I did marry your father while I was pregnant with you. But! We hadn't just started dating. I had known your father since we were children. We had been dating a good seven years before we slept together. In fact, we were already engaged when I found out I was pregnant. We just moved the wedding ahead." Viktor was forced to take a few steps back as she went back at him with her finger hitting his chest. "You date the poor boy not even a month and you land him with a kid. Did you for a second think of him?"

"Ma'am it's really not a big deal." Yuri went unheard as she continued, watching Viktor shoot him pleading eyes all Yuri could do was smile and give a nervous laugh.

"I knew I loved him. We enjoyed what we did. Right Yuri. Tell her. We don't regret it."

"I am not joining this conversation. You started this conversation you can end it." Taking the stroller he started to walk down the road towards the water and see locations they could scout out. With July the month they were thinking he could see what places indoor and outdoor would be perfect. Hearing Viktor come running up next to him he could see he was smiling, it was nice to see that again. He knew sometimes Viktor would get depressed at night but he was thinking of the future and that seemed to be helping him.

Breaking for lunch since Alexander was getting hungry they felt they had made some decent progress. They decided to hold the ceremony on the beach. There wasn't going to be a lot of them so the little gazebo off to the side would be good if it was raining. July fifteenth at one pm, that was the day they had booked for. The beach didn't really have a hall for wedding bookings but the town managed all of that since it was a public beach. This way they could make sure they had enough space for the ceremony and no one would be able to crash it.

"Yuri look!" At Viktor calling out to him Yuri saw Alexander holding his feeding spoon all by himself. He really hoped Viktor didn't try to let their son feed himself with that jar of baby food but it was cute to see him able to do this. He was already eating small amounts of solid foods. Cheerios were his favorite. He loved to play with them as he picked them up. And Yuri wasn't going to admit it but he taught his son how to throw them at his father. Makkachin loved when he tried because he got to eat the ones that fell to the floor.

Climbing into bed for the night Yuri felt Viktor slide him closer so they could cuddle before they fell asleep.

"How would you feel about Makkachin being our ring bearer? I was thinking Alexander but he can't walk and I fear he would try to eat the rings."

"We can do that. I'm guessing you just want to dress him up."

"Yes! He will look so adorable in a tux. Or a bowtie at the very least."

"And what would you like to wear Viktor? Hmmm?" Kissing him Yuri asked curiously. He could see his fiancée looking amazing in whatever he decided on.

"White. I already know I am going to look into a white tux."

"You want to be the blushing bride?" Teasing, he kissed him again. Having him be excited and happy, feeling him kiss back with tenderness and affection made Yuri's heart happy.

"I could be. I would say get a veil for me but I don't want to hide this face from you."

"Typical." Sharing a laugh Yuri's chin was lifted as his eyes met Viktor's."

"Joking aside. I really can't wait to marry you. I know my mother wants to rush things so I can become a legal citizen but I just want to be your husband. I want to wake up every morning with you. I love you so much Yuri and after everything that has happened I realized it only made me love you more."

"I love you too Viktor."

Yuri woke up to see the bed empty. Sitting up he called for Makkachin and heard no paws on the floor. Viktor must have been out jogging then. Getting out of bed he took a side trip to the bathroom before stopping in Alexander's room to see it empty. Why Viktor didn't wake him up to go running with him he had no clue. Well, at least this way he could start breakfast. Coming to the kitchen he saw a note that said he wasn't allowed to cook and he would be back soon. Now bored he went to the living room and crashed on the couch to relax. Just getting the tv on he heard the apartment door open and Makkachin come running in. Sitting up he looked over the back of the chair to see Viktor coming in with a few bags hanging from Alexander's stroller and his son already drooling over everything and looking excited for the day.

"What did you get?"

"Oh! You are up already. I realized because of everything that happened I wasn't able to celebrate the end of the season with you properly. So sit there and relax because I am going to make you the best breakfast you could ever imagine." Curious what he was making, Yuri took his son out of the stroller and went to sit with him at the kitchen table. Ten minutes later his stomach was growling as the kitchen filled with the smell of whatever Viktor was making.

"Viktor, what are you making?"'

"Almost done Yuri, another minute and we can eat."

Settling Alexander in his highchair he saw Viktor come over and place a plate in front of him. "What is this? It looks good."

"I have no idea what it is called I just found it online. I told my mother we aren't to do any wedding planning or house hunting, today I want to spend it with you and Alexander and celebrate your achievements."

"You really don't have to Viktor its fine."

"Too bad. You need time to focus on you as well. And I want your thoughts on something."

"Okay?"

"Last year I forgot about something really important that happens in May. This year I don't want to forget again. I won't be able to leave the country but I'd like to treat you to something."

"You have lost me. What did you forget and why would we have to travel anywhere?" He traveled enough for the season he liked the idea they could stay home and relax.

"Mother's day is in May right? See I forgot because in Russia it's in November."

"Oh. That. Us not doing anything is fine by me." Shrugging his shoulders he went to eat only to be stopped.

"Why do you want to ignore the day?"

"I never said that. I don't know. I guess I figured I'd visit my mother like I have before."

"Yea but. You deserve to be treated to as well."

"I guess. I'll think about it and decide what I want to do later." Forgetting this conversation, Yuri dug in to this meal. Eggs on avocado over a slice of this bread, this was amazing just to look at. Whoever was giving Viktor these recipes needed to never stop.

Viktor hadn't been kidding when he said he was going to spoil Yuri today. He hadn't moved from the couch expect to use the bathroom. Playing with Alexander he moved to the floor while Viktor cleaned the place. Bouncing him gently on his legs he saw him laugh and squeal at the simple activity. Looking up at Viktor, who had stopped dusting for a moment, to watch his son, they smiled at each other and at their little boy.

Around noon Yuri started to yawn and brought Alexander with him to the couch. Holding him close he watched him slowly get sleepy though he was going to hold on and make his own nap harder.

"I can put him down for a nap if you're tired Yuri." Looking up he saw Viktor leaning over the back of the couch.

"No it's alright. Come join us. I love the fact that you are cleaning but I miss you." Pouting, he saw it worked as he sat up for Viktor to rest behind him. Leaning against him they shifted a bit so he laid on top of Viktor and Alexander was on top of him. Feeling his glasses move off his face he rested his head against Viktor better and shut his eyes.

"Have a nice nap love."

0o0o0

Tomorrow I leave for ACEN and won't be back until late Sunday. No updates I figure until Tuesday than. If you're going please let me know, I would love to say hi!