The guard at the gate called Catherine to let them know that Jim had just driven through. Consequently, she was waiting for him on the front porch when he drove up. Her heart tightened in her chest when she saw him get out of his car, his normally squared shoulders slumped and his head low. He looked deflated.
Once he was on the porch, she embraced him, wanting to give him some of her strength. His arms wrapped around her in response and he held on as if his life depended upon it. She wasn't sure what she expected him to say, but he was quiet…too quiet, as they walked into the house.
Drew flew into the entry and grabbed Jim immediately. Jim picked him up and held him but still said nothing. The trio walked into the den at the back of the house, where Lily and Lindsey were. Lily looked up, saw the expression on Jim's face and quietly reached over to touch Lindsey's arm. Picking up her Grandmother's clue, Lindsey greeted Jim and then suggested to Drew that they go look at the horses. Lily hugged Jim and then made some noise about taking a short nap and disappeared down a hall.
Lindsey took Drew's hand and led him out. Sensing that he should follow his new sister, he went quietly but once they were outside, he whined. "I wanted to stay with Papa…"
"I know, Drew." Lindsey responded. "But right now, I think he needs to talk to Mom more than he needs to see us."
"But why?"
"I'm not sure….adult stuff. But something happened and I think only Mom can help him feel better. We need to leave them alone for awhile so she can talk to him, okay?"
"Okay," the boy said sadly. "But I hope Mama makes him happy soon…."
Lindsey giggled. "Oh, I'm sure Mom will have him in a better mood very soon…."
Catherine led Jim down a hall to the bedroom that she was staying in. Once inside, she closed the door and then wrapped him in her arms again. She could feel the tension in him as she held him, his emotions overwhelming him.
Jim felt numb; he was on overload. All the pain of Warrick's murder had come crashing in on him throughout the day and when McKeen's guilt became so obvious, other negative emotions ran through him as well; hurt, disappointment, resentment…anger, but most of all fear. He worried that McKeen would go after him through his family. And once the traitor, that's how Jim saw him now…a traitor to every belief he held, once he was booked it was as if Jim's bones had turned to rubber as the energy drained from him. And now there was only this numbness.
But Catherine felt warm…and safe. She was home, everything he wanted out of life at the moment. She was his haven, his strength. And as she began to kiss him, he felt energy slowly seeping back into his veins.
Catherine understood what he needed; if there was one thing she understood, it was men. He had been wounded and a part of him had died that day. He needed an outlet for the emotions that remained; an outlet for the fear and the tension….a release. And so she kissed him. And once she had kissed some life back into him, she began to undress him and led him to the bed.
What followed wasn't their typical love making session. Normally Jim was slow and considerate, careful of her feelings and attentive to her needs. But this afternoon, he was none of those things. His hands were rough as all of the negativity of the past few days rose to the surface. His lips were demanding. Catherine understood; he was feeling raw and edgy and she responded in kind.
Somewhere in his mind a small voiced screamed at him to slow down, be more gentle; he knew he was hurting her. But something primordial in him had taken over and his visceral nature was in control. He couldn't stop himself and the lack of control frightened him, yet he kept going.
Catherine was no stranger to rough treatment by a lover. Eddie had liked it that way. And as rough as Jim's treatment was, it was tame compared to some of her sessions with Eddie. She also knew that he would be upset later but that for now, it was what he needed. So she encouraged that side of him. Her nails scraped his skin almost to the point of drawing blood and her nibbles became gentle bites. She felt his lips on her neck and realized she wouldn't be wearing anything low cut for a few days, but that was okay. She'd brought some shirts with collars.
And when he took her there was a ferocious possessiveness to his act. While she willingly gave herself to him, she briefly wondered if he would have stopped if she had said no. In Jim's mind there was no question, no doubt about the answer; he was being driven and there was no turning back. And as quickly and fiercely as it had begun, it was over.
He lay beside her, gasping for breath, tears flowing down his cheeks as he realized how rough he had been. "I'm sorry," he told her. He couldn't look at her for her for fear that he had ruined it, spoiled the best thing in his life. "Oh god baby, please forgive me…" Then a miracle happened. She rolled over, her body covering his and she kissed him; not a forceful kiss like a few minutes before but a gentle kiss that said he was forgiven, that she still loved him. And he wept more.
Catherine enfolded him with her arms and held him tight, whispering over and over that it was alright, she understood…that she loved him. They remained there for a long time, Jim slowly calming down and accepting the love she was giving. No, it wasn't love making in their usual sense, but Jim realized that she had made love to him that afternoon. She had sacrificed her body to give him the outlet he needed and to comfort him. He clung to her, willing time to stand still so that the moment would never pass and for a short while, it seemed to work.
Eventually they began to stir, the call of nature forcing them apart. Then she took a shower as he dozed off and slipped into oblivion. Catherine pulled the covers over his tired body and slipped from the room. Back in the den, she warned the others to be quiet. Jim was tired and now he could rest.
Drew was elected to wake Jim for supper. Quietly he crawled on the bed and sat next to Jim. "Papa….Papa," he whispered.
"Mmmmm…" groaned Jim. "Drew?"
"Yes, Papa. Mama says for you to come eat."
"Mmmmm, okay. Be there in a minute," he told the boy.
"Okay," Drew said as he slipped off the bed and ran down the hall to tell his Mama. Jim yawned and rolled over, drifting back to sleep.
Catheirne joined Jim in the bed a few hours later. He was still sleeping soundly, so she curled up next to him, her arm draped over him, and she went to sleep too. Late in the night, she felt him squirming and heard him calling her name. She woke and realized that he was having a nightmare. Suddenly he jerked awake, sitting up and yelling for her.
"I'm here, Jim. I'm right here."
He grabbed her and pulled her to him. "I dreamed that he got to you…." His brain was in a fog; all he knew was that he needed to hold her and know she was safe.
"I'm safe, Jim. We're all safe. McKeen is in jail. You kept us safe." She could feel him shaking as he held her.
"Yeah…" he said as his mind began to clear and he became aware of his surroundings.
Catherine eased back down onto the bed, pulling him with her. "Lie down with me Jim. We'll just snuggle for awhile. I need to feel you with me too." A few minutes later Jim's shaking had subsided and they had both drifted back to sleep.
They were enjoying a late morning in bed the next day when his phone rang. "Brass," he growled into the mouthpiece. He listened. "Right. Well, I'll be back tomorrow, can we talk then?" Catherine watched as he listened more. "Yeah, okay. And then he closed his phone.
"Who was that?" Catherine asked curiously.
"The Sherriff; he wants to talk," Jim groaned. "I guess this is where he busts my ass for arresting his golden boy."
Catherine began to stroke his back, which led to other caressing….which led to a very slow, gentle, loving and lustful morning.
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Many thanks readers for your continuing support. Your reviews make my day:-) I hope this chapter was pleasing. A little more to come and then sadly, the end. Oh but wait, don't want to let out any secrets...