Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. I am not the genius that invented these amazing books.
A/N: Again, I'm really sorry for not updating for 23 days. It was just that I had exams and then coursework and there was just so much pressure that I honestly didn't have time. But now that my holidays have begun I will hopefully be able to update. Fingers crossed. I also had a bit of writer' block. I mean I knew what I had to write about but I just couldn't find the words, if that makes sense. Thanks to all my followers and reviewers. You are my motivation. I just hope that for this chapter we can get more than 7 reviews. Please do this for me, guy. It would really mean a lot. Thanks. Read and Enjoy this chapter.
Engagement
Marcus Snow is Aquilo's son. He's my fiancé. I gulp at the realisation of getting engaged to Marcus in a day. Marcus, the self-centred and heartless man whose nature I could figure out in just days will soon be my life partner. He's the person I am being forced to spend my life with.
"You better look just as gorgeous on our engagement day." Marcus says, caressing my cheek. "If you do I don't think I'll be able to take my eyes off you."
I plaster a fake smile and stare blankly into space. We spend a lot more time just dancing to the music until Effie taps my shoulder and informs me that we are going back to the Training Centre. Marcus reluctantly let's go of me but not before leaning in a planting a kiss on my cheek. If there weren't so many people around us he would've kissed me on the lips. I'm sure of it. As soon as I am out of his sight I wipe my cheek, trying to rid the feeling of impurity and dirtiness I felt when he touched me.
The entire journey back to the Training Centre was filled with a strangely expected silence. No one dared to speak after witnessing the height of ignorance at the party. But I'm silent for another reason. The whole night's events just seem to weighing down on me, rendering me from speaking. And every time I try and speak I feel like I need to tell everyone what's happening, but I'm not ready. Not yet. But I'll need to tell them soon enough because they will find out tomorrow when the invitations arrive. If only time freezes and tomorrow never comes. Or the engagement just never comes.
As soon as we enter the District 12 penthouse I make a beeline for my room and rush into the shower, impatient to get rid of the enormous feel of impurity and dirt. I scrub my skin raw after applying every single scent of soap available, all the while cursing my life. Eventually, I collapse along the wall of the shower and fall onto the floor, crying, drowning my woes in the water of the shower. I watch as the tears flowing from my eyes and the water droplets mix until you can't even tell the difference.
I keep thinking about Marcus and the future that has been laid out for me. I cannot do this. I cannot live with Marcus. Everything Marcus says makes me realise that he doesn't love me for who I am. He loves my appearance. He likes materialistic items, like the expensive ring he bought in District 12. He loves his status and doesn't want anything lower. This just brings back memories of the jewellery shop and him insulting my choice of the simple ring – the one I adored. And every time I think of Marcus, I realise all the reasons why I love Keeth. This whole situation makes me realise how I have been unappreciative and ungrateful towards Keeth's love for me and how I have always been taking advantage of his love. It makes me realise how lucky I am to have met Keeth. But it also makes me think about how unlucky Keeth is to have met me because he has always been hurt by me and soon, well, he'll find out that I will be marrying someone else. That we will never unite.
I manage to pull myself together and get out of the shower once I hear Effie's screaming. I was initially shocked that I could hear Effie's voice through the room and shower door but then I realise how loud Effie can be. I pick up the first things I can find in the dresser, look in the mirror to see any traces of tears – although it's not like my parents would be shocked if I were crying. By the time I got out everyone, including Justice and Tatiana, are halfway through their conversations.
As I walk to the table, I notice that things seem normal. No one seems happy. But no one seems sad either. Everyone's talking, possibly trying to distract themselves. The atmosphere around me makes me wonder whether I should inform them about the engagement. I decide to delay it for a while, although deep down I know that I will need to tell them soon. I keep my head down for most of the conversation, avoiding any eye contact with anyone, especially Keeth. However, Keeth doesn't try to talk either. Maybe he understands that I would like to be alone. But I know that Keeth probably wants to know why I was so distracted during the interview.
Effie tells us that the recaps of the interview will begin. I refuse but Effie tells me it will only be half an hour or so. I resist the urge to snap back at her as I take my seat on the couch. I witness myself being mocked by Caesar at the fact that I couldn't answer his question. And after that I seem robotic, almost, only moving when I had to answer a question. I seemed like I was lost and detached. A couple of tears did manage to be caught on camera, however, I wiped them as soon as it left my eye. In addition to that, I watch Keeth cover for me, extending my short answers to make it sound less absurd and strange. I manage to watch through most of the interview, cringing at my answers and tone but smiling at the beautiful tone played by Keeth during the interview – the one I didn't pay attention to at the time. As Keeth plays I am seen to be staring into the distance – at nothing. I seem lost. Far away from everyone else. Alone.
Then it happens. Caesar tells me to sing and I stand there – frozen. As though I wasn't expecting that. Or that I didn't even hear what he said. My tears, the ones I knew were definitely flowing down my cheek at that point, are not seen, much to my surprise and relief. Murmurs began at that point, people confused about why I wasn't singing.
It was then Keeth stood up and walked towards the piano and began to play the tune of the love song I sang. I watch as I magically come out of my frozen state, confused or shocked about the music, but then my face settles as I turn around to look at Keeth. The one thing I admire is the reassuring and warm smile Keeth gave me in order to encourage me. My heart melts instantly at the sight of his smile, but straightaway I feel a weird ache in my stomach, which restricts my breathing slightly. I take inhale deeply. It's as though a ton of bricks has been swallowed, weighing me down. I shift uncomfortably, especially once I begin singing the song. I feel as though the lyrics of the love songs are taunting me, pointing out my mistakes, pointing out the fact that I have betrayed Keeth and the love he has for me. As the song goes by I feel the tears pricking in my eyes, and when it gets to the end of the chorus my heart isn't able to take it as I heave myself off the sofa and run towards the roof, wiping my tears.
"Ashlyn." I hear Keeth call out, but I continue running. There is shuffling behind me but then the sound is blocked as the door closes. The cold hits me like a rock as I rub my arms, trying my best to warm myself up. I lean on the ledge and stare out at the lights of the Capitol, all shimmering brightly. I let my tears flow freely as my eyes fixate on the brief darkness in between some lights. Nothing goes through my mind. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder, causing me to shake slightly at the shock. I wipe my tears quickly before turning around to see Haymitch. He looks at me hard and serious, making me feel slightly uncomfortable, but it soon relaxes. He looks away and leans on the ledge beside me, taking a swig at his alcohol.
"Want some?" Haymitch asks as he brings the glass bottle near me. I push it back.
"You know what happened the last time I was drunk." I state.
"That happened because you don't know your limits." He states. "You drank way too much. And then you went and started shouting. You were a mess."
"What do you want Uncle?" I ask, the irritation in my tone clearly evident.
"Relax." Haymitch says, before taking another swig. "And by the way your singing was beautiful. It covered up your mistakes."
"I don't want to talk about it." I say.
"What happened out there? You're not like that. You're like your dad. Really good at interviews." Haymitch says.
"Like I said in the interview. I was just tired." I say.
"You can lie to the Capitol, but not to me." Haymitch says. I look down at my feet, trying to avoid eye contact. "What's wrong, Ash?"
"I-I, um, it's-" I try to speak but the words don't come out of the mouth – or should I say the truth. I want to tell him, I really do but it doesn't work. I sigh. "It's nothing Uncle. Really." Haymitch looks at me sceptically before nodding and walking away. I take a deep breath and stare back at the city, with the ache in my stomach returning.
In the morning, I am woken up by a nightmare, which happens to be close to when I hear Effie screeching near my door. I sigh, heavily, and trudge to the shower, not spending long. I pick the first things I find in my chest of drawers which are a blue shirt and shorts. Before I turn the door knob I take a deep breath preparing myself for whatever's going to happen.
After taking consecutive deep breaths before opening the door and heading towards the dining room. Everyone apart from Effie is present, although I do not question it as I fill my plate and take a seat, however I, am soon informed that Effie has gone to get our itinerary. Most of breakfast passes in silence, with me mostly playing with my food, not being able to eat – especially with the ache in my stomach. Mum sees this as she asks me why I'm not eating. I am about to answer when Panem's anthem sounds from the television. All heads whip towards the television, all with confused expressions. The only answer to the sudden playing of Panem's anthem is if there is a mandatory and emergency announcement.
Everyone around me immediately gathers in front of the television but I stay put. I know what this announcement is for. Dad gets up and pulls me to the couch, much to my dismay but I don't fight it. Unfortunately, I end up sitting next to Keeth. The ache in my stomach grows as the anthem soon stops and Caesar is seen on screen. In his hand is an invitation – probably the engagement invitation which would've reached all Capitolites – all important ones. The invitations is a light pink, one that can pass of as white, and on the back has something that reminds everyone of Snow – a white rose. This has obviously been designed by Aquilo, there to purposely taunt not only me but Mum and Dad too.
"As you can see, in my hand is an invitation that has just been delivered." Caesar says, displaying the invite. "It is from the President's mansion. This seems exciting, doesn't it folks?" A chorus of 'yes' is heard, followed by an uproar of cheers and applause. "Maybe this will reveal the reason behind the extension of the Victors' visit." I sense everyone around me looking around, all wondering what the invitation is about. But my eyes stay on the screen, however, from the corner of my eyes I can see Haymitch look at me sceptically. He probably senses my anxiety at the news. "Well, I'm not going to keep up this suspense any longer. Are you ready?" He asks and in response he gets cheers. "Okay, okay. So in my hand is an invitation for the engagement of our honorary President, Aquilo Snow's son, Marcus Snow."
"What?" Keeth says, immediately. "Aquilo has a son."
"I think Aquilo kept him hiding to avoid attention." Dad says.
"That's not my concern. My concern is his fiancé. I wonder who the poor girl is." Mum says and Haymitch chuckles loudly.
"Probably some Capitol girl." Haymitch says. If only, I had the time to tell them, now that I realise how much it will hurt when they will find out it's me. It's just then when Effie walks into the room, with the same invitation in hand.
"Want to know who his fiancé is?" Caesar asks again. "And the lucky girl is..." he says, then looking down at the invitation. "This is unbelievable...the girl is the Victor of the 77th Hunger Games, the daughter of the legendary star-crossed lovers, Ashlyn Mellark."
Silence.
Just silence.
I don't dare look up from the television. I don't dare let my eyes meet anyone around me. I feel Keeth stiffen next to me. I can sense my parents fuming and Haymitch's eyes boring into me, looking at me with disbelief. Everything after that happens too quickly to even understand. Haymitch jumps from his seat, walks towards me, grabs my wrist and pulls me along towards the roof. I hear a couple of footsteps behind me but I don't look back, not until we are up on the roof and Haymitch let's go of my wrist, making me face everyone – Mum, Dad and Keeth. Haymitch backs off slightly and Mum comes in front of me, anger and sadness dominating the expression in her eyes. Tears threaten to escape her eyes, and have already done so with mine. She grabs my upper arms violently and shakes me.
"Are you crazy, Ashlyn?" Mum screams, tears spilling from her eyes. "What were you thinking?" She yells. "You won't survive one day there." I don't say anything. I just look into her eyes, the pain probably evident. "Have you lost your mind?" She screams again and that's when all my emotions are let loose, like an untied blown up balloon getting let loose.
"Yes, I've lost my mind!" I scream, causing Mum's grip on me to lighten. "Yes I'm out of my mind. Yes, I'm crazy." I yell. "I'm out of my mind and crazy for trying to save my brother's life." I scream. The shock on Mum's face is not hidden as she takes several steps back until she bumps into Dad who wraps his arms around Mum.
"Rye." She whispers.
"Not only Rye." I say. "Everyone I love."
That's when I tell them everything about the deal.
"And did you not think to tell us any of this." Haymitch shouts as he throws his glass of alcohol on the ground, causing it to shatter into millions of pieces.
"I felt like I could solve it myself." I tell him.
"And look how that turned out to be." Haymitch says. Anger surges through me.
"What would you have done anyway?" I shout. "Aquilo's smarter than Snow. And more brutal. There's no way to escape this." I say, defeated. "I just have to accept this fate." I say turning to face the city.
"This isn't your fate, Ash." Keeth says walking towards me. "I'm not giving up on you."
Keeth's eyes have welled up as he looks at me. I can clearly see the pain in his eyes as he tries to convince me that everything will be fine. Almost subconsciously, my quivering hand makes its way to Keeth's face as I cup his cheek.
"Forget me, Keeth." I tell him. "Forget me, it's for your own good." Keeth shakes his head as his hands are placed on my upper arms. "Let go of me Keeth. Find someone else. You're a great person, anyone would be lucky to get you."
"That person won't be you, Ash." He tells me. I look down at my feet. "No one in this world can ever be you."
"Don't you get it, Keeth!" I scream. "In a few months, I will be married to someone else. And there's no escaping this."
"Yes, there is, Ash." Keeth tells me. "You won't need to marry him. We'll come up with something."
"I can't take this risk." I say, shaking my head. "My brother's life is at stake. All the people I love. Their life is at risk."
"Ashlyn, don't you understand. There's a rebellion. There will be a rebellion. And if you refuse Aquilo won't be able to do anything." Keeth tries to convince.
"Rebellion." I say. "We don't even know if there will be a rebellion or if it will be successful." From the corner of my eye, I can see the shock on my parents' face, who do not know about the planning of the rebellion.
"Sometimes we need to take a chance." Keeth says. I shake my head as I turn away from him slightly.
"Not when it comes down to your family." I say.
"Bu-" Keeth begins to say but I cut him off.
"But of course you won't understand the importance of families." I say, coldly but as soon as the words slip through my mouth, I regret it and I turn around to see the damage my harsh words have caused. It was just all my anger – anger not specifically caused by anything, just the situation – which caused those brutal words to escape. I would never say that to Keeth intentionally because I know how this subject hurts him. Keeth looks at me harshly, anger and pain aggravating in him. "I-I-I don't know, um, I didn't mean to." I say, fumbling with my words.
"Forget it, Ashlyn." He says, coldly before turning on his heel and walking off. In defeat, I collapse to the ground, drawing my knees to my chest. Mum and Dad run up to me and crouch down, one on each side of me.
"I don't know what to do, Mum." I cry. "I've lost everything."
I spend most of the day in my room, missing lunch due to the loss of appetite. I don't do anything, however. I just sit still and frozen. The only time and I come out of my frozen stance is when Dad pulls me out of bed towards the dining room for dinner, much to my dismay. Everyone's at the table but no one speaks, at least until I arrive, which is when everyone starts to pick up normal conversations. I know why they're doing so and despite knowing I don't respond and neither does Keeth, who also silently consumes his food. During our dinner the Panem anthem plays again and the television turns on. All our heads turn again to see the screen in hope that the situation changes and I am safe, but I don't even let any hope grow inside me because I know how much it will hurt when my hope is shattered.
"These pictures have just arrived, showing the relationship between the President's son, Marcus Snow and famous Victor Ashlyn Mellark."
On the screen are pictures of Marcus and I walking in District 12, his arm around my waist and him kissing my cheek. My face is expressionless, neither showing discomfort or disgust or happiness. The angle of the shot is not high at all, which makes me wonder whether this was captured by a camera on a building or by someone. And that's when I realise it is all part of Aquilo's plan to make it seem like I approve of this relationship – this confirmation mainly for the Districts – and that we are happy together.
"This picture is from District 12, taken just a few weeks ago." I see Keeth clench his fists tightly. I also sense the anger amongst everyone at the dinner table. I shift uncomfortably as I continue to eat my dinner, trying to suppress my rage and sadness. I breath heavily trying to control my emotions. However, that doesn't work when the reporter says, "Don't they make such a romantic couple."
That's when I stand up abruptly, sending my chair flying backwards, take a glass in my hand, run up to the television before throwing the glass at the television angrily.
"You won, Aquilo!" I scream, before shattering just like the glass into a mess. "You've broken me! You've ruined my life! I hate you!" I scream before collapsing to the floor. The first person that runs to me is surprisingly Keeth, who crouches down next to me and whispers consoling words in my ear like 'I'm here," and 'Nothing will happen.' I grab Keeth shirt as a ball in my fist and lay my head on his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Soon everyone else joins me by my side, trying to console me. That's when I feel the warmth from Keeth disappear as I realise he is letting go of me and is walking away. I reach out and grab his arm.
"Don't leave me." I beg, softly. Keeth doesn't turn to look at me but squeezes my hand and then let's go. He hasn't forgiven me. And why would he, after what I've said to him? I deserve this. I know I deserve this. Yet, I wish I didn't. I wish that Keeth weren't angry, despite the fact that I was wrong. It's selfish. But for a person whose life is about to be ruined, selfishness isn't wrong.
After a while Dad picks me up and takes me to my room so I can sleep, however, sleep comes very difficultly. When I finally do fall off to sleep I am disturbed by someone opening the door slowly. The faint light slipping through the open door wakes me up but I don't move. I can hear faint footsteps, as though someone's trying to tiptoe. I keep my eyes closed. Whoever the person is stops beside the bed and then kisses my forehead. The warmth and love of the person instantly tells me it's Keeth, but I still don't move. I can't bear the thought of Keeth leaving me and I know that if I say something he will go away from me. I cherish the moment we have as his lips linger on my forehead. He caresses my cheek gently and then makes his way out of the door. All I can think about at that moment is how much I'll miss Keeth. This thought drowns me back into the sea of nightmares.
After eating breakfast in the morning, my prep team arrive to get me ready for the engagement. As soon as they close the door of my room they all squeal and cheer for me before congratulating me. The go on and on about how lucky I am to be with the President's son and how I will be the most famous and richest people. I just satisfy myself by rolling my eyes rather than shouting at them or snapping at them, especially because behind all the words I see a childlike innocence. It reminds me of how young infants think everything everyone around them say is right and follow it blindly.
The prep team take hours to get my make-up and hair ready, which is after the couple of hours they spent on scrubbing me down, waxing and lathering. Once they are done I look at the mirror. Half of my hair is taken back, messily, and clipped at the back. The rest of the hair is curled and cascades down my back. My make-up is primarily gold. The eye shadow and nail polish both. My lips are a light pink. Overall, I'd say that my make-up isn't extravagant, much to my astonishment.
Soon my prep team leave and Justice arrives, carrying a large black bag, most likely containing the dress I'm going to wear today. As soon as he steps into the room I attack him, craving for his support through a warm hug. Once I let go he gives me a sad smile.
"Did everyone in the Capitol see that news broadcast?" I ask, despite knowing that they most probably did.
"It was mandatory. It came up on every screen in the Capitol." He says. "And probably the Districts." I sigh, knowing that the Districts hate me, as per Aquilo's plan.
"I guess they had to find out sooner or later." I say.
"I saw the television outside." Justice says. "The one that's broken."
"I broke it. I was just really angry and-" I begin to say.
"And you imagined the television was Aquilo, didn't you?" Justice says with a smirk. I give him a look before laughing. He soon joins me.
"I wish it was." I tell him.
Justice tells me to close my eyes as he helps me into the dress. The dress seems heavier than other dresses Justice has made and it takes some time for me to get used to. Justice makes a few adjustments before allowing me to open my eyes. When I open my eyes I am shocked. The dress is short, about mid-thigh. The dress is white however when looked at first it seems primarily gold due to the gold embroidery on the dress. From the chest to the top of the dress crystals are encrusted, giving an extravagant look. The top of the dress is secured as the neckline carries on to the back of my neck, which is also crystal encrusted. There's a gap allowing people to see my skin and then another portion of cloth on my upper back encrusted with crystals followed by the gold embroidery. This dress is too heavy and complex to be one of Justice's designs.
"You had no say did you?" I ask.
"I was visited by the President's son. He told me to make sure you dress looks rich and expensive enough." He tells me. "Sorry."
"No, Justice. The dress is beautiful but it's just that it's not me. But of course, he won't understand that."
To finish off the look, Justice makes me wear golden coloured high heels.
When we get to Aquilo's mansion, we see that most of the guests have arrived but as soon as we enter everyone stop what they're doing and all their eyes are on me. Almost too dramatically, a path is formed as the guests move back. At the end of this path is Marcus who's dressed in a black suit and a gold tie. His hair is tamed and gelled back like it was a few days ago, again making him look sophisticated. I plaster a love-struck expression as I walk up to him. He meets me halfway as he wraps his arm around my waist and leads me to an elevated platform stage. His arm never leads my waist even after we turn to face the guests.
The decorations catch me off guard at once. The whole place is decorated with lilies and roses. I gulp slightly picturing all the things I associate with them. Roses remind me of Aquilo. And lilies, they remind me of Jesse's mother. Aquilo's not leaving any stone unturned to taunt me, to make me feel weak.
"You look gorgeous, in this dress." Marcus whispers in my ears, causing me to shudder. In his voice, I hear traces of evil and wickedness.
"Thanks." I tell him. "I heard you helped design it."
"Because I knew you'd like my choice." Marcus tells me and I suppress the urge to roll my eyes.
After a while Aquilo comes onto his balcony, overlooking the party.
"Welcome, welcome everyone. I am so glad you could be part of this joyous occasion of the engagement of my dearest son, Marcus, and his girlfriend and Victor of the 77th Hunger Games, Ashlyn Mellark." Aquilo says a few more words and then informs everyone about the wedding date before the rings arrive.
Two girls, who both climb on the platform on opposite sides, carry a plush red cushion and on top of it is the ring. I am asked to go first as I pick up the ring, which is a silver band with a diamond studded streak on. I take his left hand in my left hand. My hand shakes violently as I slide the ring across his finger. I don't look up at Marcus, I just plaster a smile on my face and look back at the guests.
Soon I feel Marcus take my left hand. He has my ring in his hand. It is a huge ring with a thick band, studded with diamonds fully and it ends with a huge diamond in the middle. The sight of the ring takes me back to the jewellers in District 12 a few weeks ago when Marcus asked me to pick a ring. I remember the simple ring I chose, the one I adored. I remember Marcus rejecting my choice and picking the same ring. It was for me. I was the 'special' person he said would like it better if he bought the ring from 12. This was the ring that I didn't like and he knew that but he still chose it. He knew it was for me and still didn't consider my preferences. How will I spend my life with him? He slides the ring onto my ring finger and instantly feel the coldness of it. It's as cold as ice, slicing through my finger, causing me pain. There's an uproar of cheers and applauses.
And then all of a sudden petals fall from the ceiling all around us two. That's when Marcus pulls me into him. He places his hand on my waist and reluctantly I wrap my arms around my neck. I know where this is going. I feel a pit of ache and pain in my stomach as he leans in and places his lips on mine. Disgust spreads through me as he deepens the kiss but I try to control myself by thinking of Keeth. Eventually I cannot take it and I slower the kiss and pull away naturally. I turn to face the guests again who are cheering us on.
Almost subconsciously my right-hand fiddles with the ring, trying to lower the feeling of heaviness on my finger but it doesn't work. It weighs down on me. It's a burden. And it always will be.
I look back to the crowd and the first person I see is the brown haired, blue eyed boy who has saved my life many times. The one I love. My saviour stares at me for a long time, making my insides melt, making the ache in my stomach disappear, making me smile – genuinely. A strange bliss flows through my body at the thought that he has forgiven me, that he won't leave. But then he turns around, abruptly, and walks away from me and disappears into the crowd.
I watch my saviour leave me alone.
This chapter was very painful. It was very sad. But it needed to be done to move the story on.
Some may think that Keeth seemed a bit OOC but I felt that anyone would react like that when they find out that their love their life has to marry someone else. If you have any comments about that please tell me through your reviews. I'd like to know. How did you like Ashlyn's dress? It took me a while to figure it out. Forgive me if anything about the engagement was wrong. I have never been to one so I had to rely on the internet. Sorry.
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