Sugawara-

6 more months. Hinata is still having treatments at the hospital.

Chemotherapy infusions, radiation, biopsy's, oral chemotherapy.

He'll get better for a few weeks; bright eyes, slightly pink skin, grinning like an idiot… but then it goes to hell. Ash grey pallor, dark rings from being kept up by the pain and vomiting, more weight loss he really cannot afford.

It seems like it's just too much for him some days.

We thought he was in the clear last month, things were going great for much longer. His recent MRI came back clean. He was even able to come out for three days and see a few people. His sister was so excited, and Kageyama had a hard time not looking excited when he learned that he was going to get to come home.

I roll my eyes to glance up at the board.

More Japanese literature.

I sigh, taking notes, my mind still distracted. Still thinking about the phone call the coach received when Hinata went back home.

It came back.

It's in his bones now. His right femur for sure, maybe in his ribs.

If the biopsy comes back with certain results, it'll be amputation for sure. There's no way he can come back from that to be able to play in nationals… or ever again, not like he used to.

His parents look like death but hold it out for Natsu. She still doesn't quite understand why her big brother is never home, why he must wear a mask when she visits. Elementary kids do carry a lot of germs.

Kageyama barely stayed around after practice, I hear him on the phone with Hinata whenever there's a spare moment. Whether that's calling or texting, email, whatever. Always checking in on him.

I hold the hope that he's going to be okay, that he'll come out of this alive.

But that's starting to dwindle.

First brain cancer, he barely got through radiation. He managed to contract pneumonia and the flu, his doctors could never manage to get over the fact he survived that. Being on a ventilator for another 3 months set his physical therapy back so much.

Then this. A new cancer diagnosis means more treatments, more surgeries, extra therapy. More time wasted on tests that may or may not be conclusive to saving Hinata's life.

I don't know what they plan on doing. Bone cancer is horrid, and most end up with amputations at this stage. They haven't done anything yet, we've had no word from Hinata about what they plan on doing, or whether or not they'll just send him to hospice.

Pallative care seems like the best option.

As much as I hate to admit it, to myself or anyone else, he's not looking good.

He says he wants to get better, but how long can someone spend every night awake. Lay there desperate for pain relief that's hours away because you'll die if they give you anything more. Throat always raw from acidic vomit, unable to eat certain foods, barely able to even drink water because even that burns going down.

How can you manage a life like that? Always physically alone. Or always seeing your friends and family hold pity for your suffering in their eyes when you see them? He knows we care about him, that we want him to come home… But he's miserable. He doesn't want anymore treatments, he's said so himself.

But that would mean he's out right giving up, and he doesn't want us to see him like that. His pride and ego are too high.

I feel like that's going to force him to do anything he has to, even if it means he dies from treatments and medications.

I've heard talk around the town of his parents trying to pull him out of the hospital and put him in a home not too far away. You never expect someone younger than you to die, especially not someone this close to you.

No one on the team is sure what to think.

Kenma and Kuroo haven't told anyone much either. Kenma takes his console to see him when he's able, but the recent diagnosis has kept most out of his room for fear of Hinata getting the flu.

It's a waiting game at this point, and I feel like the clock is only ticking down for him.

I want to believe everything will end happily.

That Hinata will come out okay.

But.

This is too much for one person.

He's a strong kid, we all know this from experience.

But this is life.

Life is harsh.

Cruel.

Life takes happiness and grinds it into sadness, despair, fear, terror, pain, and depression.

Some people never make it out of childhood or infancy.

Some make it to one hundred.

Maybe…

Maybe Hinata just didn't get the right roll of the dice.