sanity

I'm tempted to forget all about Akashi's surprise visit the very moment he sets foot out my door. There's a high possibility that I've imagined his and Furihata's reassurances, that my mind neatly formulated what it wanted to hear. I don't trust myself enough to react to their words just yet.

Yet a thought does plague me. Clearly Akashi and Furihata had not just chosen a random time to visit, why would they? It must have been planned or at least spurred on. Did they know about the incident of my blurted sexuality? Were they aware that this could cause a rift between Kuroko and myself? Was that the reason for their visit, was Kuroko reacting to the news negatively?

I grumble a protest to myself and slump back into the apartment.

I know when tomorrow comes I'll have the clear possibility of running in to Kuroko, that is if he isn't intent on avoiding me. I wouldn't be surprised if he did, yet there's a part of me that believes better of the boy. I haven't known Kuroko for years and maybe my crush was born mostly from admiration of his artistic abilities and his cute blushes, but I have the sudden feeling that maybe…maybe things would be all right. Kuroko isn't going to hold this over my head, he's going to accept me and ignore Mrs T's ribbing good naturedly.

Despite all the possibilities the firm belief that Kuroko won't shun me like the rest settles itself deep in my heart. If I never get the chance to explore a romantic relationship with Kuroko, perhaps it'll be okay to be just friends. What do we really know about one another that anything serious could evolve anyway? One night of endless chattering hardly means we're destined to be together – and sure I know of his vanilla shake obsession, but possibly everyone he knows does too.

I press my fingers against my temples and frown for a moment before letting out a deep sigh and letting my expression melt. "It'll work out the way it should," I murmur, opening my eyes and focusing a considerably calmer gaze on my neat apartment. "Friends," I try the word out, "Maybe I should start with being friends first, romance can come later if it's possible. Yet for now, for now friends sound mighty fine an idea."

With a firm nod and a silent vow to myself I rush to the bedroom – the only room still to be cleaned up – my mind focused on only one task. With some difficulty I rumple through my things, shoving past old birthday cards and scribbled notes from old friends. Until finally, finally, my fingers curl around a worn metal ring, still attached to the broken chain I'd set it on years ago.

For a long moment I stare at the metal. "I'm going to have to lend your strength again, Tatsuya." My hand closes over the object and slowly a grin blossoms across my face.

I never would have seen myself digging up this ancient treasure, but as I loop the chain around my neck – making a mental note to get the chain repaired – it seems the sanest thing to do. Tatsuya was my closest, if not only, friend; what better symbolism to use for my coming battle?

I just wanted to thank everyone who is reading and reviewing or simply reading silently from the shadows. I appreciate the support! Everyone have an amazing weekend and I'll see you again on Monday :3

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