"Austin, please talk to me." I say and he sighs. "You haven't talked to me, your daughter or son in five days. Please talk to us." I tell him and I see his jaw clench. "I hate it here Ally." He says and I go over to him, sitting on the couch. "What do you mean?" I ask and he closes his eyes. "I hate this apartment. The amount of times I tried to kill myself here. I hate New York. I can't go anywhere without paparazzi and I haven't performed in forever. I hate it here. I just hate being... Alive." He says and he grabs his wheelchair, trying to open it up and get in it. "Will you help me?" He asks and I shake my head. "I want to talk Austin." He groans at my response. "Ari won't talk to me. She literally hates me. Don't you see that?" He takes the beer from off the table and starts drinking it. "This is ridiculous Austin. Put the beer down." I say sternly but not loudly. "Ally. I need it. I fricken need it. Do you see how my life is? It's filled with sadness and drugs. That's it. That's it!" His voice starts to quiver and he squeezes his eyes shut. "If I didn't love you and our kids so god d*mn much... I'd kill myself." He takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "Austin, you need help. You need professional help." He shakes his head. "We tried that! It didn't help at all!" He's started to yell but I can tell he's only doing it so he doesn't cry. "Austin, just cry! Stop putting up an act and cry!" He glares at me. "No. I won't." He says, his voice quivering and his jaw clenched. "Austin. Your daughter won't talk to you. Your best friends moved away. You're a drug addict. You're paralyzed and you may never be able to walk again. You-" he cut me off, hysterical crying. "Why?! Why'd you do that?! Why do you have to do this to me?!" He screams in an outrage and I pull the beer from his hands. "You needed to cry... I'm sorry..." He chokes on his sobs while he tries to speak. "Will you take me to rehab?" He asks me and I smile. "Hey, of course. And I promise you that I'll visit with the kids, alright?" He shakes his head. "Don't bring them." He says and I tilt my head in confusion. "You can come but... They shouldn't see me like that. And not seeing them will give me something to look forward to when I get out." I smile nodding. "When do you wanna go?" I ask him and he sighs. "Now.." He whispers. It seems like a command but it wasn't. I nod at him and smile. "I'll miss you..." I whisper to him and he looks up at me, his eyes meeting mine. I see pain and sadness. I hope that one day I will see happiness again. "You have no idea. I've been waiting for you to wake up for so long." He says as I help him into the wheelchair. He goes into our room and says goodbye to Austin. He slowly rolls to Ari's room. This may not be as easy.
Austin's POV
"Ari?" I ask quietly as I open the door. She looks at me and rolls her eyes, going back to doing what she was. "Ar, please talk to me." She shakes her head, stubbornly. "Then I'll talk. Ar, I have to go. I don't know how long I'll be gone but... I won't see you for awhile so I want to say goodbye." She rolls her eyes at me again, not even removing her eyes from her magazine. "I'm sorry... I love you..." I tell her as I turn my chair around and roll out the door. I can't close it behind me so I leave it open.
"How'd it go?" Ally asks and I sigh. "I can't come back here Ally..." I whisper as I let out a sob. "I'm not good for her. I shouldn't be here." I tell her and she comes over to me, bending down to my 'height'. "She hates me Ally..." I shut my eyes as tight as I can and let tears flow down my cheeks. "Austin. I need you. Okay? I'll talk to her." I sigh but nod anyway as I go to grab Austin. Ally goes to grab Ari. I hear commotion start in her room. I listen to their conversation.
"I don't want to go mom! I'm fine here." She says and Ally sighs. "I can't leave you here alone. Let's go." She says and Ari groans. "And once again, everyone has to drop everything for dad. It's not fair! He's not even like my dad anymore!" She yells.
I sigh, placing Austin back in his crib. I roll out of our bedroom, calling Ally's name. "I'm gonna just... Call a cab." I tell her and she rolls her eyes. "Don't be silly. Why would you do that?" She asks and I grab my phone off the counter. "These walls aren't that thick you know..." She sighs and she walks toward me. "She's right..." I whisper, giving her a sad smile. "I'm gonna head down alright? You should think about... Moving. To Long Island. It's needed." She nods as tears flow down her cheeks. "I love you." I tell her and she smiles, bending down to kiss me. "I love you too..." She says and I head out the door.
Ally's POV
"Ariana. Get out here right now." I say when Austin leaves and she comes out pouting. "I'm ready, let's go." She tells me rolling her eyes. "He's gone Ar. He left already." She tilts her head in confusion, just like I do when I'm confused. "He overheard our conversation and called a cab." I say. "Oh." I nod and think of where to begin. "You should start packing your stuff. I think we're moving near auntie Tish and uncle Dezzy." She looks up at me and rolls her eyes. "You mean Aunt Trish and Uncle Dez?" She asks and I sit on the couch. "Ar, sit down. I'm sick of this behavior and attitude." I tell her and she sits, crossing her arms across her chest. "I hate dad." She says and I give her a look. "Do you know how much he's done for us? For you?" I ask and she stays silent. "You probably won't see him for a year." I tell her and her eyes widen a little in panic. "A year? And he just left? Without s..." She trails off, realizing that he did come in to say goodbye. "Whatever..." She says and starts heading toward her room.
I go to say something when the front door opens from behind me. "Ally. I can't go." He whispers to me and I look at him, hoping he will continue to explain. "I-I just... You just woke up and... I've been waiting for so long you to come and now I'm leaving you here and I'm sorry and I love you..." I smile at him slightly, walking over to his crying form. "Hey, I can take you out for the holidays. Alright? I'll come and visit and I'll take you out whenever I can... I love you so much." I tell him as I place my lips against his. I taste his tears in his lips and start to cry myself. I pull away when I hear a honk from below. "Go ahead. I love you." I say again and he says it back, turning around and heading out the door. I sit down and sigh, wondering and hoping when he'll be okay.
Skip to Ari's Birthday (August 25th) about seven months
Apparently I can't visit him. This is because of the last time he was there and all the mishaps so the doctors requested no visitors...
I get a call at midnight and laugh, knowing that it must be Austin. I grab the phone from beside me and smile. "Hey Austin." I say and I hear him sigh. "Happy thirteenth anniversary." He says and I smile even wider, if possible. "You too mister." I say giggling. I hear nothing from the other end. "I wish I was with you." He says and I lose my smile. "Hey, if you could, you would. Don't worry. You getting better is probably the best and biggest gift I could ever ask for." I tell him and I hear him sigh again. "How are the kids?" He asks and I tell him about Austin first. "Well, Austin is turning right into a mini you already. He loves pancakes and... Poops a lot." I hear him chuckle a little which makes my smile come back immediately. "I haven't heard you even chuckle in so long." I tell him and he sighs. "I'm getting better. Slowly but surely." He tells me. "What about Ari?" He asks me and I sigh.
"Well... She's... Full of attitude. I just don't know what to do anymore. She's healthy, which I'm very grateful for but..." I hear him sigh. Again. Yes. He sighs every five seconds. "Does she still hate me?" He asks and now it's my turn to sigh. "She's upset. She doesn't like to talk about you but it's because she thinks you're dead. I hear her say it in her dreams. 'Dads dead and it's my fault. I never even got the chance to say goodbye.'" I recite her. "I try to tell her but she hates talking about you. But she's also still mad at you... I think... I can't explain it." "Can I talk to her? Or just bring the phone to her room and put it on speaker?" I nod and slowly walk to her room. She's still awake.
"Ar, I have your first birthday caller on the phone!" I tell her and she comes out and opens the door. I had already wished her a happy birthday. I put the phone on speaker. "Hey Ariana, I know it's been awhile since I've spoken to you and I know you're still mad at me so I won't make you get on the phone with me. I wish I could be there for you and I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to your fourth birthday, I'm just trying to get better. Hopefully, when I get out of the hospital, we can talk it out and make it all better but-" Ari cuts him off with a sob. "Daddy?!" She yells and I look at her. "Daddy! I'm so so so sorry! I miss you so much! Please come home!" She sobs out, clutching her stomach. Oh my gosh, she hasn't had any emotion lately. At all. This is a breakthrough. "Ari, Ar. Please stop crying, okay? I'm trying to get better... I can't come home right now but I will soon. I promise." He tells her and I hear his voice quivering a little. He's also crying. And so am I. "Okay, please come home soon... Please..." She says desperately through her tears. "Hey missy, no crying on your birthday! Birthdays are for singing!" He says and I smile. He sounds so much better. He hasn't sung in so long. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..." He sings and I hear a noise from behind me. It's Austin! Oh my gosh! How is he here?! Oh my god he's walking too! I go to run to him but he motions for me to be quiet and points at Ari. He continues to sing happy birthday to her. When he finishes, he smiles at me. "Ar, now I did get you a birthday present so if you turn around... It should be waiting for you." He whispers and she turns around.
She screeches, sprinting to him and he lifts her up in the air, spinning her around. "Daddy! I missed you so much! I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry!" She yells. He pulls her tighter to his chest and feels her hair. "I missed you too baby..." He says and he squeezes her tighter. "What are you doing here?" She asks him, still holding onto him for dear life. "What do you mean, what am I doing here? You think I was gonna miss your birthday?! No way Jose!" He says, ruffling her hair and she giggles. "When do you have to go back?" She asks him and he smiles at her. "That's the best part. I don't have to." He says and she screeches again, shaking with excitement. "Oh my gosh! So you're back for good! Oh my gosh Daddy! So much has happened since you left! I learned all of your songs so when you came back I could sing them for you! And-and-and I tried learning how to make pancakes on my stove (it's like an easy bake oven but a stove)! I-I drew this-" he cuts her off, kissing her cheek. "Relax Ar, I'm back for good. We've got all the time in the world to talk about all of this." He says and he sets her down but she lifts her arms so he picks her back up. "Why are you walking?" She asks and he smiles. "Well you know, a miracle happened and God gave me my feeling back so I could come home for your birthday!" He tells her and she laughs, pulling him for a hug. "Really?!" She asks and he laughs. "Really. He told me that I have to be on my best behavior to keep my legs working and that if I acted up, he'd take them again. Which is why I need to be very very good." She giggles and talks to him until she passes out. She literally passes out in the middle of a sentence. He laughs and tucks her in.
"Ally, happy anniversary." He says, walking up to me and giving me a hug. "How are you here? You're- you're walking and you're happy and I'm just..." He smiles, rocking us back and forth. "I've been feeling better for while now. I know it didn't seem like it but that was the plan. I got the feeling back in my legs last week. It really was like God telling me to come here. I-I'm so... Happy." He says and I smile. "God I love you so much. I can't believe you're here!" I say giggling and he laughs. He laughs*. "Austin thank god you're okay and you're happy!" I say and I pull away from him, grabbing his hand and pulling him onto the couch. "I believe this calls for celebration..." I whisper, pulling him on top of me. He smiles, kissing my lips and hovering over me. "Ally?" He whispers against my lips. I feel his smile. "Yeah?" I ask. He laughs. "I love you." He says and I smile. "I love you too."