A/N: Huge amounts of love to the reviewers, it's better than choc chip ice-cream!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
I walked up to the back door. I could hear dad twisting and turning. Now I was glad that I had come back, even if it meant missing out on a night with Bella. I slipped into the house and went to the kitchen. I didn't exactly know what to say 'Sorry for being an ass?' 'Sorry for thinking that you couldn't be bothered?' I filled a glass with water and went into dad's room. His eyes opened in surprise.
"Is Bella ok?" I nodded and smiled, "All tucked up and fast asleep".
I faltered, I didn't know what to say. 'I'm an ass, I'm a moron, I'm the most ungrateful son in the universe'. Instead I lifted the glass of water in my hand "I was worried Bella might have forgotten your water". I sat it down on the bedside table, next to the glass that Bella had already prepared. I'm such a guy, Bella would have said about a million things by now that would make everyone feel all lovely and safe. I'm mumbling on about water!
Billy nodded "Good of you to check, might be a thirsty night tonight". He reached out and patted my hand. I perched my huge bulk down carefully on the edge of the bed. "Dad…I…"
He squeezed my hand "I know son…I know". He smiled at me, I smiled at him. Now this was guy talk. I stood up and stretched out "Gonna check on Sam". He nodded and I could hear his breathing settle to a deep easy rhythm before I'd even left the house.
Ok, that was hard thing number one completed, now to face hard thing number two. I had a feeling I wasn't going to get away with so few words dealing with Sam.
I knocked on the door politely, Em answered. Her normal bright smile was missing and I could immediately see the sadness in her eyes. I didn't want to know what went on her this evening. She ushered me in and apologised for the mess. I scanned around, I didn't see a single thing out of place apart from a box of tissues on the sofa.
"Sam went for a quick patrol, he should be back in a minute". Em gave a tearful smile.
Liar, I thought to myself, my eyes narrowing. Quil and Embry are on the late shift tonight. Sam's shift was just finishing when I pulled him down to dad's. I could see that Em knew it too, why on earth would we think we can lie to these women? They've all got that hubble bubble thing going on.
I needed a distraction, something that wouldn't make her cry, something to talk about that wasn't related to Sam's possible issues. Oh wow, I've got it!
"Em, I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I need to keep a little bit…you know private from the pack?" I had her attention immediately, she stopped twisting her hands and looking towards the door.
"Anything Jacob, I mean I not sure what help I can be… but I'm happy to try".I paused for a minute, ok I've already done the whole women's reproduction talk with Ms Stillwell, how much worse can it get really?
"Em, I don't know what to do about Bella, and you know…and the whole being a wolf thing…and you know…protection?" I just let it hang there, hoping desperately that it had made enough sense that I wouldn't need to say anything else.
She looked at me with her brow furrowed and then let out a sudden "Oh!' and smiled widely. "Oh yes, it's good that you asked, both myself and Kim have been through some pretty messy mistakes".
My eyebrows raised. Oh no, please don't let this be one of those 'too much information' moments! She saw my alarm and nodded "Don't worry, I'll tell Bella the long version and just give you the summary". I exhaled in relief.
She began counting off on her fingers in a matter-of–fact fashion "No condoms, they melt, same with femidoms" Ok my eyebrows were back up again, same with what? Em waved me off with indifference.
"You won't like what the pill does to her scent, it will make you feel ill so that's out, you won't be able to control your wolf well enough to practice withdrawal method so don't even try". I put my hand up to my face, even as an extremely warm person I could tell my face was burning with shame now, how do they talk like this?
"Have you tracked her scent yet? It's proved the most straight-forward for us and Jared's got the hang of it now too." I looked at her with a blank expression. Huh?
"You keep track of her scent, from her time of the month round to the next and you will be able to pick out the two days when you are particularly drawn to her, when your wolf is drawn to her, those are the equivalent of the 'in heat' principle, the days when she is fertile, then all you do is avoid those days, and everything is fine".
I leaned back in the chair, so all I have to do is not be with her on the two days when my wolf is going to want her the most, well doesn't that just sum up life in general! I gave Em a big hug "Thank you, that was not a conversation I really wanted to have with the guys! Do you think we could keep this between ourselves, Bella's not a big fan of people knowing her business". Em smiled widely and gave a wink with her good eye.
As she did so I heard Sam's approach, I headed out through the back door to cut him off. I was not having this conversation in front of Em. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. For the first time since I had phased I felt a huge distance between us.
"Jacob" he nodded tensely. I stood tall "I'm not here to get in your business Sam, in fact I don't actually want to know what's going on because I don't think I'm going to like what I hear". This was true, if he was intentionally damaging his own imprinting, as his Alpha I cannot stand for that, yet I wanted him to have a chance to fix it himself.
"Sam, for two years you have taken care of everything and everybody, often by yourself. I don't know what those early days have done to you and I can't undo that. But right now I want you to stop for a bit and get a handle on this situation". I gestured towards the house. His head hung low again and I could feel the shame rolling off him.
"I want you to take her away for at least a week. Her folks have that cabin up by the lakes, just you and her, just spend time together, no wolves, no pack, no distractions, don't get out of bed, feed her strawberries, read her poetry, that kind of thing." Sam's eyes were wide with confusion.
"I don't want to fight with you Sam, you're my brother. So you're a little lost, a bit confused. Get your clean break and when you get back we'll talk". He nodded and then wrapped his arms around me. I was floored, he had never looked to me for anything, he had always been the one holding me up, keeping me together when I felt like I was falling apart. I gave him some hard man slaps to the back and then we walked into the house.
Em had gone back to the hands twisting pose she had been in when I arrived. She was tense. I could she that she was preparing herself for bad news. Sam put his arm round her and kissed her forehead "Do you think your dad will let us have the cabin for a while? Jake's cutting me some slack for time served". Em's mouth dropped and she looked at me in disbelief.
"A holiday?" I grinned at her. "When?" My grin got even bigger "How does now sound?" She looked at Sam for confirmation and squealed loudly when he nodded. Em danced off to make her phone call.
Sam looked at me sadly "Make sure everything goes smoothly". I frowned at him "It's not your concern anymore Sam" I said seriously, I pointed toward the kitchen where I could hear Em squealing down the phone to someone, "You take care of what is your concern".
I headed out, still feeling heavy with doubt, but not wanting to risk an argument brewing. I tried to imagine what would have happened if I had imprinted on somebody other than Bella. I knew no matter what the spirits had planned for me, that would not have gone smoothly. If fact, knowing myself I would probably have been in a much worse situation than Sam by now.
I slumped onto my bed, not bothering to even change. When I woke up I was face down, spread out as far as I could me. I glanced up at the photo of my mom and me that hung on the wall. Charlie's story had left a deep impression on me. I realised now why the anniversary of her passing hit dad so hard every year regardless of how much time passed. I had always felt guilty inside, like maybe I hadn't loved her enough in the first place, which was why the pain of loosing her had begun to fade over time, but now I realised that I had simply been blessed with her and the memories of her. I had never fought and sacrificed and lost so much just to be with her in the first place, it was no wonder that dad felt that wound as if it was freshly cut every year.
I pulled myself out of bed and got dad up and organised. We didn't say anything apart from talking about the weather and the cook out with Charlie on the weekend. It was as if yesterday had never happened. It was only when I walked out into the kitchen and discovered Paul munching his way through a whole box of cereal that I was confronted with the reality that it had. I asked dad to get me excused from school and he waved us off cheerily. He had given us Michael's details and after tying up our shorts we phased down for the run.
As was feeling calm and settled as I phased but the second my paws hit the ground I skidded to a halt. Paul's thoughts had caught my attention and I was hit by a play-by-play of yesterday afternoon. He realised almost straight away and tried to push the thoughts from his mind but I found myself reaching in, as if my mind was clawing it's way inside his head opening doors until I found what I was looking for. I could sense his distress yet couldn't stop until I had seen it right the way through.
I watched as he advanced on my precious queen, my stomach turning as he made his vile suggestions but I watched my queen's eyes as she stood in his memory indifferent to his attempts. I felt as her words cut him down inside yet filled me with pride as she cut through this wolf as the Alpha's mate. I pulled out of his mind and locked myself back inside my own. The wolf in me hummed with quiet anger yet my Alpha was satisfied with my queen's response and felt no rage towards my foolish brother.
I turned to him now, his stomach pressed to the floor and ordered him up. "I don't need to tell you that it will never happen again do I?" Paul mumbled a humble apology, quite different to the constant antagonism I was used to from him. I could feel that Bella had already started to weave her calming magic over another one of my pack and smiled to myself. It would be nice not to want to kill Paul all the time.
We phased out near the edge of reservation, not knowing the layout and not wanting to chance remaining in wolf form any closer in. As we came up to the house that dad had marked out for me I felt my nose twitch in response to a familiar scent. I dismissed it but a moment later wished I had paid more attention. Paul knocked politely on the door and Michael answered wrapped in a towel, his attention clearly wasn't focused as he opened the door with a laugh.
"See I told you that you weren't going to be able to stay away for long…"
His laughter trailed off as he realised it was not who he was expecting at the door. The scent on him was overwhelming and I stepped back to catch my breath as I realised who had just left.