Title: Interesting Dynamics
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Chicago PD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Hank and Erin are forced to re-explore their complicated 'family' dynamic when an unexpected 'family emergency' causes Voight to have to deal with demons related to his wife's death, his failings in parenting, and the challenges his work has created for his family and for his ability to be the father he wants to see himself as.
"But, Dad—" Ethan full on whined, gazing up at his dad with big, hopeful eyes.
But Hank just cast him a shut-it-down look. "You aren't getting the fucking dinosaur cup," Hank rasped at him.
"But, it's so cool," Ethan tried again.
Hank gave him an even more impressed look. "No," he said firmly.
Ethan made an unimpressed noise and did the sulking that only a twelve year old could pool off. That over-practiced pout that reminded you that pre-teen tantrums weren't that far removed from dealing with a pre-schooler tantrum. Though, Ethan mostly just sulked and pouted. He didn't dare throw a tantrum with Hank. Because if there was any dad who could pull off the "I'll really give you something to cry about line" – and you wouldn't want to test it – it was Hank.
"Here," Hank grunted at him as the concession clerk returned and put two of the least appetizing hot dogs Erin had ever seen on the counter. He shoved them toward Ethan. "Go get these done up," he ordered and pointed off to the condiment counter.
Ethan near gleefully retrieved them. "Don't forget the popcorn, Dad," Ethan informed him as he gathered the 'lunch'.
"I'm getting the fucking popcorn," Hank muttered.
"My own," Ethan ordered and gave Hank a look.
But Hank just locked his eyes. "You're sharing with your sister."
Ethan flared his nostrils. "She doesn't like butter!" he protested.
Erin just scrubbed at his hair. "I like butter. I don't like butter with a side of popcorn," she said and nudged him to get rid of him. "Stop pissing off your dad. Go."
Hank shook his head as the kid left and gestured at the cash register displaying the prices with the bills he already had folded in his hand waiting for the concession kid to come and retrieve. "Might as well have bought him that new bike for how much this is costing me," he muttered.
Erin just shrugged. "Your idea, Hank," she put flatly.
He just grunted and glanced over his shoulder to check on Ethan. Erin looked too. The nervous energy was radiating off him.
"Sit with him in the house like that," Hank said and grunted again looking back to the concession. She could tell he was getting pissed off at how long it was taking the poor kid tasked with tending to them to gather their order. But that's what happened when you were feeding a famished twelve-year-old boy at a movie theater concession stand. He wanted to buy out the shop. Not that Hank was letting him. They had ordered enough, though.
"You're going to sit with him in a theater like that," Erin said. Ethan was near bouncing over there. He seemed overwhelmed by the disgusting choices available at the condiment counter. Items that had at least been sitting there all day – if not days.
"He'll sit still and shut up once the dinosaurs get on the screen," Hank muttered.
She snorted and smiled at him and he gave a look. She just shook her head. "I think you've been saying that since he was about two," she allowed.
"Mmm," Hank just made a face. "If it works, it works."
"Yeah. You got a sit down and shut up list for me and Justin too?" she teased.
"Yea," he grunted. "I tell you to sit down and shut the fuck up."
She rolled her eyes and glanced over at Ethan again. He was eating something now. She wasn't sure if he was already stuffing one of the hotdogs into his face or if he was shoving pickles or jalapeños or relish into his mouth. Disgusting whatever the option.
"Could've just dropped him off at the house," she allowed.
Hank shook his head. "Couldn't leave him alone right now. He's all …" Hank just shook his head without trying to apply words for it. He didn't need to say anyways. Erin knew. She could see it too.
The exhaustion and stress of the day combined with not getting full doses of medication into Ethan's system at the proper time had him in a complete tizzy. It was hard to watch. Harder to be around. Hopefully Hank was right that he'd calm after he got in front of his movie. Though, she still thought it might've been smarter to just take him home, make him a meal of a bit more substance than hot dogs and popcorn, get his pills into him and to try to get him to rest. But Hank likely didn't want to be stuck in four walls with him while he was tripping out like this. His exhaustion and patience was clearly at opposite extremes too.
"Here," Hank said and handed her the giant bag of popcorn that Ethan seemed to think he'd be able to eat. He better – because she wasn't that interested in it and Hank and junk food rarely went together. She was surprised he even ordered a hot dog – especially here. He must be hungry too. "You're in charge of this."
She nodded and took it, moving to wander over to the condiment table with Ethan. She'd let him put in a squirt of butter – not make it swim in it. Though, she'd have to stop him when he decided he wanted to sprinkle every fucking shaker topping in existence on it – to the point that it didn't taste like anything but sour salt paste lining your insides. Disgusting. Beyond disgusting. And she'd clearly endured this definition of "going to the movies" before. Put it in the con column of having a baby brother.
"You might want to order him a hot dog," she said as she turned to go.
Hank glanced over his shoulder again from finally prepping to pay the concession kid.
"I got him a hot dog," he said. "We got them already."
"Pretty sure he's eaten his already," Erin said and gestured.
"Jesus Fuck," Hank said under his breath and gestured at the concession kid, giving him a little nod. The kid let out a small sigh. He clearly wanted to be rid of them too.
"Told you you should've got him two," Erin said flatly. "He told you too."
"At these prices?" Hank barked. "It's not even a hot dog."
Erin just shrugged at him and started to move again but he smacked a bottle of water into her chest. She reached and took it while, Hank shoved his hand into the pocket of his leather jacket and then shook a pill bottle at her.
"See if you can get one into him since he's apparently got food in his belly already," he said.
Erin nodded and took it wandering over to the counter. She stood next to Ethan, dropping the large popcorn on the countertop and then worked at opening the bottle.
"Hey, Eth, your dad wants you to take one of these now," she said and held out the pill to him in the palm of her hand, nudging the bottle of water toward him. But the kid didn't move. He actually had suddenly gotten really still. About the stillest he'd been all day. Certainly the stillest he'd been since they'd pulled him out of the MRI machine.
Erin gazed at him for a moment and then followed his eyes. He was staring at a little red-headed girl with braids and freckles at the opposite condiment stand. She was standing and carefully putting small squirts of butter into the side of her popcorn bag and then shaking and tilting it before adding another little dribble. She was nervously giving Ethan shy glances from her efforts.
Erin smiled at seeing the girl, though. It wasn't just some random stranger. The little girl lived down the street from Hank. Ethan likely knew that too, but his memory could sometimes be questionable. So she nudged at his side with hers.
"It's Holly Prokop," Erin whispered.
"I know," Ethan said with a clear annoyance. His eyes didn't move from the girl at all. It was actually a little creepy.
"Don't stare," Erin said at a more normal level. "You don't like when people stare. Go say hi."
Ethan did cast her a glare at that and firmly shook his head no.
"Why not?" Erin asked.
He gave her an even more annoyed look and just snagged the pill from her hand and cracked the cap on the water, taking a long chug to wash down the little pill. Maybe Hank should've bought more water too.
By the time he'd finished taking the pill the choice about whether or not to approach the girl had passed – because now Holly Prokop and her mother were standing on the opposite side of their counter. The mother was smiling widely. Erin attempted to fake one back. OK, maybe she could understand where Ethan was coming from after all.
"Hi Erin," the mom – Bernice – greeted overly cheerily. Erin was sure they were perfectly nice people. A nice family. She didn't know them that well – beyond seeing them around. But they'd moved in about the time she was starting in at the academy and she wasn't hanging around Hank and Camille's quite as much. Not that she thought they'd put a ton of effort into getting to know them. Well, maybe Camille had. Because that was Camille. But Hank wouldn't have – and definitely wouldn't have since Camille was gone.
"Hi Bernice," Erin allowed. She just so didn't deal well with chirpy, cheery people. It reminded her too much of her time at St. Ignatius and people judging her. Feeling like she had to hide who she was – for face the wrath of the Mean Girls.
"We never see you around anymore!" Bernice added like that was some sort of atrocity.
Erin just shrugged. "You know … work …" she said flatly.
"Oh, that's OK," Bernice said and gave a dismissive wave. Erin didn't know what was OK. It was like Bernice thought she'd given some sort of apology. "We never see Hank either. I swear he never has the lights on in there."
"Hmm," Erin allowed. "Well, you know … he works too."
Bernice nodded heartily at that. "Oh, of course," she said but her eyes had completely shifted to Ethan. Erin watched her carefully – waiting for the stare that her baby brother got too many times, no matter how many times people had seen his scarring. That stare that she knew all of them did as much as they could do deflect and end for him when they were with him – because people were obnoxious and rude. "And Ethan?!" she added overly excitedly then. "You remember Holly?" she said and nudged her daughter forward.
"Yea," Ethan said but looked down bashfully.
"Are you home for the summer?" Bernice asked happily.
"Yea, I guess," Ethan mumbled.
"Oh, that's fun," Bernice pressed onward. "And spending time with Erin?" she asked, stating the obvious casting a look to her. "Going to a movie?" It was about the dumbest question ever. Did she think they were there for the hot dogs and the social opportunities?
"Yea," Ethan mumbled again. "Are you?" he asked cautiously, casting Holly a little look.
The little girl eyed him. Erin got the sense she might be staring at Ethan's scars more than Bernice had – especially now that she was up close. She knew kids did that. They were going to do that. Kids were curious. But it still bothered Erin – because she knew how kids could be. She hadn't had scars like Ethan but she'd definitely been such a mark in her unkempt and unlaundered clothes and not to mention the rather frequent lack of running water, heat or hydro in her home growing up and what that did for her personal hygiene and cleanliness. She knew what it was like to be under another child's microscope. She found herself taking a small step closer to her baby brother – protectively. He'd been through enough that day and who knows what might set him off.
"We're seeing Inside Out," Holly said softly.
Ethan just gazed at her. "That's a kids movie," he said with some accusation to it. It was a definite unfriendly tone.
Erin sighed and looked down at him. Her sympathy and protectiveness dimmed a little bit.
"It's not," Holly protested. "It's Pixar."
Ethan just looked at her. Erin could sense how unimpressed he was with the other child's movie choice.
"Oh, it's getting great reviews," Bernice injected, apparently also sensing the sudden distaste between the kids and trying to defuse it. "What are you seeing?"
"Jurassic World," Ethan put firmly, almost glaring at the girl across from him.
Erin nudged at him harder to try to get him to calm down, be polite and behave. She almost wanted to tell these people he was off his meds just to give him an excuse for being a jerk. But maybe they were used to it. After all, they did live a few doors down from Hank. It wasn't like he was a sociable ray of sunshine either. What could they expect from his kids?
"Oh, are you still into dinosaurs then?" Bernice started, glowing a bit. "I remember when your mom—"
She was cut off. Quickly. "Bernice," Hank droned behind them. Erin giving him a glance.
He drilled his eyes into the woman. Hank didn't like people speaking about his wife. And, he almost definitely didn't want anyone bringing up memories of her to Ethan in those moments. It upset him. It was worse if they hit on a memory that he couldn't remember that he thought he should be able to. There wasn't any better way to send him into a meltdown. After the day they'd had, Hank – nor Erin – would want to deal with that.
Bernice just smiled at him. "Oh, it's a real family outing," she said friendly. Though, Erin had seen her face change a bit with Hank's presence. Again, he wasn't ever a ray of sunshine.
Hank didn't respond, though. He just put another hot dog on the counter and tapped at Ethan's shoulder. Ethan examined him for a moment and then picked up the food, getting it doctored the way he wanted.
"Well, you all should come over one night for a barbecue this summer," Bernice said. "Since Ethan's home. It's been so long since the kids have played together."
"Mmm," Hank grunted.
That was likely as close to an acknowledgement of the invitation as the woman was ever going to get. Hank didn't do friendly neighbor. If he wanted to associate with you – he was associating with you. These people weren't on the list. They might've been on Camille's list when Ethan and Holly were in pre-school. But now? Under Hank's watch? No.
"OK," Bernice said after examining his lax face and clearly getting the message. "Well, it was nice to see you. Enjoy your movie."
"Mmm," Hank allowed again.
But Holly gave Ethan another shy smile. "Bye, Ethan," she said.
He gave her a glance from his hot dog. "Bye," he said quietly.
The little girl gave them another glance as she walked away with her mom, her and Ethan again catching eyes.
Erin smiled a bit as she caught it and teasingly pushed his head. "Hey, Hot Stuff," she teased.
Ethan just glared at her but she just smiled. She liked when she saw the little moments of normalcy for him. That's what she wanted for him. A normal, boring, mundane childhood. If he could manage that at this point.
"OK, c'mon," Hank said. "We aren't trawling some street corner here."
He nudged them both toward the entrance into the auditoriums' corridor. As he handed the ticket attendant the tickets, the guy returned their stubs, holding out plastic glasses to each of them. Ethan excitedly took his pair that restlessness in him starting to bubble again. But Hank just shook his head and kept walking, the attendant giving him a strange look. Erin sighed and held out her hand to take Hank's pair from the kid.
"Hank, you need the glasses," she said and slapped them into his chest.
He reached and took them, looking at the plastic packaging. "We don't need three pairs of these kicking around the house," he said and held them back at her.
Ethan glanced back at him from his hasty pace in front of them. "You give 'em back after the movie, Dad," he said.
He looked at them. "Then what's the point of handing them out," he muttered.
Erin looked at him. "Hank, when exactly is the last time you've been to a movie?"
He cast her a glare. "When's the last time you and Justin made me take you to a show?"
She let out a little sound. "You've been to a movie since then," she said.
He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets, and looking up into the seats of the theater. They had the place almost to themselves. But it was the middle of the day on a weekday. Even though it was summer vacation for the kids it wasn't exactly a high traffic timeslot. Ethan was already setting the pace up the stairs, making a beeline for the "perfect" spot. Erin was familiar with this song-and-dance – because maybe Hank was telling the truth, maybe he hadn't been to a show since her and Justin were still wanting or needing dad to drive them to a show. Because Erin was pretty familiar with Ethan's necessity of sitting in the exact right spot – and God forbid someone was already sitting in it. She'd taken him to a lot of movies over the years. Big sister pro or big sister con? She wasn't sure. She supposed it depended on what movie was forced to endure.
She sighed and held the glasses back to him as they mounted the stairs. "They're 3D glasses," she said.
Hank looked at them again as he claimed the seat next to Ethan and sat down. "3D glasses?"
"The movie is in 3D," Ethan declared excitedly. He already had the things on his face and looked at Hank – a bit grin taking up his whole face. "Put them on, Dad!"
Hank looked at the plastic things in his hands and Erin nudged at his elbow with hers. "Yeah, put them on Hank," she said and put on her glasses, shooting him a look.
He made a clearly unimpressed noise and glared at the things more but then unfolded the arms and put them on his face – looking straight ahead. Erin leaned forward in her chair and bent her neck to look at him. A smile tugged at her face and she let out a small laugh.
Hank crossed his arms, settling back in his chair. He didn't look like anyone who should ever be sitting in a movie theater – let alone while wearing 3D glasses.
"Nice look, Tough Guy," Erin teased.
He just grunted.
Ethan leaned forward and looked at his dad too. Apparently he didn't see anything wrong with the picture or remotely funny. He just leaned farther over his dad, grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bag on her lap, spilling some of it in his dad's lap and it pulled it back to him. Hank brushed absently at getting the kernels off his legs and Erin plopped the whole bag in his lap instead. He gave her a dirty look at that.
"You're sitting in the middle," she said flatly. "You get to hold the bag."
"Mmm," Hank mumbled. "Pretty sure I'm always stuck holding the bag."
Erin smiled. Always the ray of sunshine, he was.
"This is going to be the best movie ever," Ethan declared, his mouth stuffed with popcorn.
"Don't talk with your mouthful," Hank ordered. "Be quiet, sit still, watch the movie."
Ethan cast him a look but settled back in his seat, taking another handful of popcorn in one hand and stuffing his face with his second hot dog with the other.
It definitely didn't look like it was going to be the best movie ever for Hank. But Erin was starting to think this looked like a pretty decent afternoon to her. She held up her phone.
"Hank …" she said.
He glanced at her. She snapped a picture and grinned at him. If looks could kill. But she ignored it.
"Very James Dean," she told him, flashing the screen at him briefly.
He grabbed the phone from her.
"Don't delete it," she told him firmly – now giving him the evil eye. She'd learned from the best.
"No phones in the theater," he said flatly and shoved it into his pocket.