I love the mornings. Especially now that it's summer. Donna's kicked off the covers and is sleeping in just lacy underwear. Since she's still asleep, I can really study her body. It's fun to study her when she's awake too, because she gets embarrassed and blushes everywhere. But the blush usually distracts me from my examination, not that I'm complaining since it leads to a mutually enjoyable activity. But in the morning when she's asleep, I can take really take my time. Sometimes I try to count the freckles on her arm, or I scrutinize the edges of the scars on her legs. Studying the scars too long brings tears to my eyes. The scars do seem to be fading, and I know they will, but the searing pain in my chest when I think about the moment I heard that she was in that SUV never will. I shake my head and try to clear the memory. She's right here. I can reach out and touch her. And eventually I will reach out and touch her, but having her safe in our bed allows me to be patient.
Today my focus is on her belly. It seems like it's gotten bigger overnight. It's not a basketball yet but it is a cute little ball. According to the book, the baby is about the size of a coconut. Her bump is a little bigger than that so I guess that's about right.
There are some slight pink lines just under the bump. Stretch marks. They are sweet. Proof that her body has had to work to make room for the baby. They'll probably always be there now. A reminder when we are old and grey and the children have all moved out. That tugs my heart a little. I shouldn't think ahead to that time when we haven't even got to enjoy them living with us yet. I tend to jump ahead. I shouldn't do that. I haven't even held Lulu in my arms. I run my hand over the bump. And then place very gentle kisses on the lines.
Donna will probably wake up shortly anyway so I don't worry about keeping my voice low.
"Good morning, Lulu." I can't help but smile as she kicks my hand. I really do think she's starting to recognize my voice. Donna laughed at me for insisting on reading a story to her belly every night but it's paying off.
"Is this how it's going to be now? You tell her good morning before you tell me?" Donna's looking down at me grinning. I can tell she's just teasing me.
"You were sleeping."
"So was she until you started talking. She loves the sound of your voice."
"She does, doesn't she?" I grin at Donna.
"She takes after you." Donna responds wryly.
That was a good one, hardly the first time she's accused me of loving the sound of my own voice. I tease my fingers along her sides making her squirm a little. God, she's beautiful. I wish I could spend all day like this, but I do have a little bit of work to get done in the office and the sooner we get it done the sooner we can get back to our Saturday.
I place a few light kisses on Donna's belly. "I love you, Lulu," I tell her before I sit up. Time to pay attention to Mama.
"Good morning, Donnatella." I say her name in the husky voice she loves, and lean down to give her a kiss. Once I have greeted her properly, she smiles at me. That never gets old.
"Good morning, Joshua." She rarely uses my full name. And usually not when I'm being good. It's nice. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. I'm going to spend this whole day relishing it.
"I've got a couple hours worth of work in the office. Are you coming with me?" She's never actually said no, but I always ask. Donna could probably do her job without ever needing to work on Saturdays. We haven't really talked about what's going to happen once Lulu arrives but I think our Saturday mornings together at the office are drawing to a close. I'm going to find it hard to go in without them.
"Yeah, I want to review the final plans for the Fourth of July festivities next week. But I could do that in your office. Unless you have meetings?"
"Nothing scheduled. Let's get going. It's a beautiful day. The sooner we get in the sooner we can get out and enjoy it."
I've just finished making her breakfast when Donna comes into the kitchen wearing a cute summer dress. It's white, with large blue flowers on it. It's got little sleeves. The neckline is modest. Sort of a v-neck, but not really. The white part comes to a v-shape, but then it's got blue material under it so there is no cleavage. It's really cute but also perfect for the office. I've never seen it before.
"Is that new?" I ask stupidly. I mean it has to be.
But Donna smiles at me, she's always pleased when I notice this kind of thing. I think some how she still doesn't believe that I always noticed what she was wearing.
"Yes, Helen and I went shopping at lunch last week. I really did need a few more things that fit and were appropriate for work."
Silly girl. She never has to justify spending money on herself. She rarely does it.
"And look at this." She pulls the blue material away from the white part of the dress and pulls her breast through the opening. I feel my eyes bug out of my head. I thought the dress was cute before, but now . . .
"Wow." I'm having a hard time forming a coherent thought. That's amazing. I feel like I might be doing an imitation of Gail.
"It's a nursing dress." Donna tells me when I fail to say anything else.
"Want to practice?"
"Josh." She admonishes me as she puts herself back together.
"Hey. I'm a guy. You can't pull that thing out in the middle of the kitchen and not expect me to get ideas."
"When Ava gets here you're going to have to share you know."
"Happily. Are we calling her Ava today?"
Donna just shrugs. She's so cute. Sometimes she spends an entire day on one name and sometimes she rotates through the list. Ava and Olivia get a lot more air time then my choices. I pretty much call the baby Lulu all the time now. It was part of my Father's day present. Honestly, if I can call her Lulu no matter what, I can live with either of Donna's choices even though I really prefer something a little more unique.
"Let's get going." Although honestly, I don't know how I'm going to get anything done now that I can see what that dress can do.
I look out the window as I close the last briefing memo. It really is a beautiful day.
"Let's go have lunch outside somewhere!" The smile on Donna's face tells me it's a great idea.
"Could we go over somewhere near Georgetown? Then we could walk around the University. I've never been."
"You've never been to Georgetown University? You've lived this close for almost 10 years and you've never toured the campus?"
"No."
"Okay. Are you starving? Should we go home and change first? Are those shoes comfortable?"
"These shoes are fine for me to walk in. I'm ready to eat anytime."
Of course she is. She's always ready to eat these days. I love it.
"Okay then let's go."
"What about you? Are your shoes comfortable? Do you want to change?"
I've got lightweight summer dress pants and an oxford shirt on. I discovered early on that I'm not really comfortable wearing jeans in the office anymore. I'm not quite at Leo's level of all suit all the time, but I'm definitely dressing nicer.
"I'll roll up my sleeves. I'll be fine."
As we head out of the office, I let Phil know what our plan is and we're on our way. I sort of wish we'd brought the car this morning. But Ron would still rather we use the town car to and from the White House. The university is only a few blocks from the Brownstone. If she wasn't pregnant, we could walk from home but I don't want to tire her out too much.
And I will admit, the detail helps us get a table quickly at the Peacock Cafe. Donna spends quite a few minutes looking over the menu before sighing softly.
"Did you make up your mind?" The waitress keeps circling around. She's clearly ready to take our order.
"I want a salad."
"Okay."
"And these sandwichs look really good."
"Okay. Well, get both."
"I kind of want a hamburger. . . and some fries."
I try not to laugh. The days of her having just a yogurt for lunch are over. "Anything else?"
She looks over the menu one more time. "Fried calamari?"
I wave the waitress over.
"I'll have a burger and fries."
"How would you like it cooked?"
"Medium Well?" I look at Donna, who nods and rewards me with a wide smile. She doesn't like them well done. This way she can have a few bites of my lunch.
"For you, Ma'am?"
"I'll have the half sandwich and salad. Ummm . . . . the Sophia Loren, but no brie on it. And the Med Salad. Oh! And I'd like a strawberry banana smoothie."
I smile at Donna. She's never going to eat all of that but it makes me happy to see her with an appetite. So I turn to the waitress and say- "Bring us an order of Calamari too."
"You're going to eat Calamari?" Donna's eyes get wide.
"God, no." Octopus? Are you kidding me?
After lunch, Steve pulls up near the Georgetown University Chapel. It's a good place to start, as long as there isn't a wedding. Which on a Saturday in June at 3pm is a small miracle. Steve will go find some place to park while Phil and Jackie follow behind us.
There is a lovely courtyard with a fountain. Donna gives a little squeal as we get out of the car. Her face absolutely lights up. This is my favorite thing, watching her discover something new.
As we stroll through the campus, it just keeps getting better, Donna is in awe.
"This is unbelievable. It's so majestic. Is Harvard like this too?"
"Better."
"I'm sure. I hope we can visit there someday."
"We'll definitely go before Lulu is ready to start college tours. I want to make sure it's number one on her list well before then."
I grin at her, expecting some sort of banter back. She just smiles sadly at me and looks away. "Of course."
I'm not exactly a mind reader, but I can tell when something is bothering her.
"Hey. What's the matter?"
"Nothing, I just wish . . ." She stops herself. I can see wheels turning in her head and her shoulders have slumped a lttle. I do know this look. This is the look she gets when she's mentally putting herself down.
We stop in front of the political science building. I take her hands and look right into her eyes.
"What do you wish, Donnatella?"
I think I already know the answer but it's really important that she say it for herself. I don't ever want her to think that I think she's lacking in any way.
"I wish I had a degree. I wish I'd taken some classes at night like Charlie did. Sometimes I still feel like a fraud. Everyone else has degrees, even Ned! Someday Lulu is going to ask, and I'm going to be the loser that dropped out."
"Donna, you'll never be a loser. Look what you've done with your life! I'm so proud that you are my wife. I'm glad you are the mother of my child. She's got a great role model."
"Thanks." She tells me softly, leaning in for a hug. I hold her for a few minutes. I hope she knows how much I love her. I hope she doesn't feel any pressure, but I think I am going to have to bring this up. I don't know if she ever will on her own.
"You know I'm proud of you, but if you want a degree, we can make it work. You could hire a deputy chief of staff to take some of the work load off, and you could take a class or two each semester. I bet all your years in the White House would count for something. And you probably have most of your gen eds from the University of Wisconsin already. I bet you could get a bachelor's in about a year and a half."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Should we check into it? Do you want to go back to school Donnatella?"
She looks up at me with shining eyes. "I do. I really do. Do you really think I have time?"
"Yes. You rarely bring stuff home in the evenings and you really don't need to work on Saturday mornings. You could take an online class."
"I'll talk to Helen and see what she thinks."
"Okay. I'll start checking out schools for you. What do you want to study?"
She looks at me like I have two heads. I didn't want to be presumptuous, but then we both laugh and say "Political Science!" at the same time.