Chapter 38
~o~0~o~
A/N: Hi! I guess 'too late' is mildly said. What can I say - my writer's block is something entirely monstrous? I can think about the chapter for weeks, write it for weeks and publish. But then I can imagine absolutely nothing to write about, a year later walking down the street and the plot is just there. And as a gift for waiting here a chapter of 10K words.
I want to thank every single one who keeps reading King, leave beautiful and encouraging comments and just I love you :3 Thanks!
Oh, and what's absolutely hilarious? My previous chapter's a/n. Ha ha ha, right? Pff, I was afraid Loki would die in IW. Hysterical. Thanks, Marvel.
(And FYI, I was chocking Loki before it became mainstream '-') I'll go in my corner now.
Enjoy!
~o~0~o~
It was well past midnight when everyone was free to go get the rest after Bruce turned off his doctor-mode and let the weary heroes be. But this future has not yet come.
Now they had to be looked after, because no one was left woundless. Be it physically or mentally.
As they walked into the medical facility in the Tower, where Bruce was waiting for them with a couple of SHIELD medics, the mood was outright gloom. Loki was in the head, walking alone, then went Tony with Steve, Clint with Natasha leaning on his shoulder, and Thor in the rear. Also alone. There was nervousness in the air accompanied by an uneasy silence.
Tony was the one who broke it first.
"Guys, we need to talk about it." Tony hissed when he made Clint, Natasha and Steve walk slower so that Loki would go slightly ahead so not to hear them.
"Why are we whispering?" Clint inquired conspiring.
"About what?" Natasha asked as they turned a corner.
"About Thor! Are we ok that he is back?"
"Loki seems ok with it." Steve noted, throwing a look at the said god whose spine was straight and posture stiff. The stress, the injuries and now the talk with Fury must have put him in an awful mood. The Captain decided he would visit the god later on. They needed to talk about what happened. Thor, as he turned back to look, was walking way back, his gaze to his feet, thoughtful. With the Thunder God he would need to talk too. If no one would race him for it of course.
"I am still in shock, guys." Clint whined. "I relieved a great mental trauma seeing that thing. I can't be brought to make decisions before I get a nap."
It was meant to lighten the mood, but Tony felt a surge of anger instead.
"This is serious! Don't know about you guys, but I am NOT gonna let Loki alone in one room with Thor after-"
They didn't realize that Loki had stopped walking, he however didn't turn to face them. Before anyone could say a word, Loki spoke (Tony shivered from the ice in his voice).
"If I will need your opinion on something, Stark, which I doubt I ever will, I shall tell you. Otherwise keep out of my business." Loki nodded to Bruce who was waiting behind glass doors.
"Let's get this over with." And stepped in the med bay.
Tony was shocked at Loki's open hostility. He thought Loki would appreciate that he was worried, but instead Loki turned his anger back at Tony. Stark was shocked yes, but as it slowly passed, he realized that he was upset and it only brought up more distress. (Loki is so mad at me, he must hate me, but it seemed fine after the attack, did he change his mind about me, he truly hates me, more than Thor perhaps, god I'm such a dick, it is just the same when I shouted at him after presuming that Loki has betrayed us, I just can't stop making mistakes, why am I such a mess..). Steve placed a hand on his shoulder, but the man didn't relax. Clint could only sigh dramatically.
Barton watched Steve quickly following after Loki, when the god was released. Yeah, better Steve than any of them – Clint was not the one who Loki saved today, but the god saved his friends and teammates. Tony was a mess and Natasha needed rest. Barton suspected Nat was going to do something for Loki – she was in his debt now. He just prayed miserably she wasn't going to make Loki her bro. He would actually cry then. Bitter bitter tears.
He heard how Loki hissed at the medics when they tried to make him wear a sling (apparently he strained his shoulder enough for it to be treated, and apparently Loki cared shit about it), and said that he was done with 'annoying defenseless mortals who survive only with god's help'. As if they needed a reminder that he was a jerk.
But apparently not such a jerk as someone else.
From recent time Thor began to occupy the honorable first place on the pedestal of assholery. Great guy Thor, if only he wasn't dumb enough to succumb to provocations of much craftier bastards. And a big mistake was losing control. Biiiiig fucking mistake.
None of them was a saint, but Thor lost it and almost murdered Loki, not thinking, not realizing the consequences, going ballistic and plain right stupid.
Clint huffed and shook his head at Natasha, whose leg was currently laying on his thigh as they both waited for Tony to come out. Though considering where Barton's eyes were now looking, she understood everything without words.
As casually as she was able, half-sitting half-laying on the little plastic chair, Natasha put her face in her hand, the same face now looking directly at the Thunder God.
Thor looked normal, aside from the deep gash on his right arm. He was also calm and mildly interested in the magazine he was currently skipping about while he waited. He was not trying to start a conversation, and it was probably for the best. Everyone needed to sleep on it – on the Loki 'problem', on the run to Asgard, on the fight and on the much needed rescue.
When Loki left the med bay, Thor's eyes immediately zeroes in on him, taking in all the scraps and plasters and leather tears and broken knuckles. Once Loki was gone, Thor was back to his magazine. And Natasha was actually surprised she couldn't read Thor's face as easily as she used to. Something changed in him, made him more settled. She wondered what happened in Asgard.
Nothing really surprised her anymore in her life, but some things still could. One of them was her fear when she heard Stark's last words when they all thought he was dying. And he was. Dying. Dammit. It was scary. She was not ready to say goodbye to the arrogant prick that was Tony Stark.
The next surprise was Loki. Who would have thought that the man she hated (because she did – Loki hurt her friend, ergo hurt her) would worm right through her stoic persona and stay there. Loki was both ordinary in his common problems (boo hoo, adoption, boo hoo daddy issues, boo hoo overcompensation) and so complex in his actions. His sly tactics, his choices, his loyalty.
Just taking into fact that Loki saved Stark after he was laughed at and degraded in front of everyone. He didn't hesitate. Just like he didn't hesitate to save her. She wouldn't save herself in his place.
It was just instinctual. Which begged to differ as to the 'monster' part everyone liked to paint Loki as.
Maybe that was the reason Thor was so adamant on keeping Loki? Natasha silently mused as she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. She ignored it. Now was not the time to speak with Nick. She was in the middle of analyzing Thor. After the shock's gone, she was dubious of the reactions of the boys to Thor's presence back in the tower. (She foresees a lot of speeches thrown at Thor before he would be able to talk to Loki face to face).
The sound of the door opening distracted her and she watched Tony walk out from the med bay. Boy, was he looking wretched.
"You ok?" she asked Tony.
Because he wasn't and wouldn't be for some time. But he had to know she got him. The team got him.
"Always, Nathashiel. Always."
Like hell, Stark. But she let it be. It was her turn to get attention. Her leg was killing her.
Looking over her shoulder, she watched the boys awkwardly shooting each other wary looks, none speaking. Sighing to herself, she entered med bay and closed the door after herself.
~o~0~o~
"Bruce, Bruce-"
"Keep still. I still need to check you up."
"Brucie..."
If Banner didn't hear how the voice of his best friend broke, he would have continued to ignore the childish behavior. Because even if Tony was healthy, according to all tests Jarvis could make up, the doctor had to be surer. But no overgrown child could sound as wrecked as Tony did at the moment.
"Tony?" Oh God. "Are you crying? H-hey, no, no-" That was not what he expected from Tony Stark. Just how much what has happened impacted him mentally?
Bruce couldn't believe it himself, but he was hugging Tony Stark. He… couldn't remember if he had ever done this before. Judging by Tony's surprised hitch, never. Well, everything happens for the first time.
Bruce knew that the others were waiting behind the door. Natasha needed his help, his doctor help. But Tony was if okay physically, not so in his mind right now.
Who amongst them was anyway.
"It hurt so much. I died there, Bruce. Bruce..."
"Tony, hey. You are fine. Hey, look at me. Look at me, buddy. You are fine. You are healthy. You survived." Stark nodded. He was starting to look embarrassed with all this emotional thing.
"Yeah... Right. Sorry. It's just. It was terrible." Bruce patted his shoulder awkwardly. He hoped he was at least a helping presence for Tony.
"I can imagine. Thank God Loki was there?" Bruce asked hesitantly. And got a pained grimace for his question.
"Thank God... I was so awful to him. And he still... WHY would he do that? Why? I'm not worth it."
"What are you talking about?"
Banner was really not cut to be a psychologist when Tony started on how much a bastard he was, how he messed up, how he put everyone in danger when he went down etc. etc The doctor himself was a shining example of self-destruction and self-loathing, so he mostly was no help, choosing instead to be useful in making more tests, letting Tony talk.
And just no way.
"Oh, your blood is- huh. Your blood is the clearest I've seen in any person. Jesus... What a great sample, Tons!"
"I knew I was an asshole to him and he fucking saved my life! Who the hell does it?" Stark continues to babble endlessly. Bruce took his hand so he would repeat the test. Maybe then take another. And another…
"Loki does. Keep still."
"I don't even pretend to know what is going on in that psycho head of his. Wasn't he supposed to leave me die?" And on and on and on. Bruce sighed irritably.
"Loki wouldn't have done it and you know it. We all know it. Stop painting him bad, Tony, it is no longer relevant."
"..and I laughed at him. I'm feeling like shit."
"Tell him that."
"I don't know how."
"Just be yourself."
~o~0~o~
"Agent Romanoff. What is the situation?"
"Loki is asleep now. Better call later, sir."
~o~0~o~
"You ok?" Bruce murmured softly. God, he felt like a father today, looking out for several kids at once. Not a bitter thought at all, Banner.
"I-yes. Thank you."
"That is a nasty cut you have here."
"It is nothing."
"I can see bone, Thor."
"Truly. It is nothing."
"Right, well. I am glad. It is good that you are back."
"You'd welcome me back?"
"Yes, I would."
"Why?"
"Just… I know a thing or two about hurting the person you care about." Thor looked up stricken. "I know the feeling of…" disgust at yourself, "regret, knowing that you can't take your actions back. I know."
Thor nodded. He looked very tired.
"Others are less forgiving."
"Well, you can't win everyone." Bruce grinned.
Thor smiled too. The looks he received were less than pleasant. But he did deserve it. Only that he would have preferred the attitude from the person he wronged, not everyone.
"Good luck in fixing it all up, Thor."
~o~0~o~
When everyone has finally gone to their rooms, the night was just beginning to those who had no intentions going to sleep. Nick Fury has called a meeting to discuss the situation and possible solutions to problems. Bruce was too nervous and frightened to sleep when he knew that there was someone who knew how to tame a Hulk and make him a doll with cut strings. Who else knew? Who else would use it? Was he safe? Was he in danger?
Someone else was too energetic and lively to pass the opportunity to tinkle in their workshop. How can you sleep when you feel as if born anew, with no pains and no exhaustion pressing on you? Impossible.
"Hey, J. Bring up that night when Loki came with his new project."
"The one you denied to look into, sir?"
"Hey! It's… Don't you be mean to me, Jarv. I… Yeah, that one."
"You have it, sir."
"Excellent. Let's do some science."
~o~0~o~
Finally, with the first rays of the sun the previous day was over. The weather outside was cool and crisp. The air was filled with the sound of birds singing and the work of the builders, who tidied up the streets that were destroyed. People were seen reluctantly going out to work. But overall, the morning was beautiful. More so, knowing that for the time being the danger was over.
Though for someone, the beautiful morning was ruined by the call of duty.
"Morning, Barton. Where is everyone?"
The sheer joy that crossed the archer's face was gleeful and mad, but it was gone in a second, replaced by misery. It seemed just the knowledge that he was not the only one up was so sweet. But then Clint remembered that he was a good guy, and, well. It was so plain on his face, one would doubt the guy was a spy. But then came the realization about who was it to disturb his date with the coffee, and the mood turned more somber. Because it was Thor.
And we still don't know how to feel about it.
"Nat is asleep. Loki is asleep. Bruce is asleep." Clint counted on his fingers. "Wise people. Steve has gone for a run. Tony is in his Bat cave. Jarvis is in the air. You are here. There."
Thor chuckled. He liked Barton in the mornings. He was fun, because of the fact that he was not a morning person.
"And why are you up?" Thor asked curious.
"Because I am the unluckiest damn guy in this universe, that's why." Clint said depressed. He wished not for the first time that it was him under Loki instead of Natasha when the building fell. He would have made this sacrifice, he would. If only so he wouldn't need to wake up so early in the morning. "Fury chose me to go to HQ to report." His head fell on the table. "What a bullshit."
"I see and sympathize with your grief." Thor said seriously.
Thor was messing with him, Clint just knew it. Living with Loki must have rubbed on the guy. But as his head perked up from a table, and watching as King Thor Odinsson failed to change the filter in coffee machine, forgetting there was a button for it to press, Barton took a moment to remember that he was cross with him. Because it was so funny. Thor tried to use minimum force, but his patience was thinning with every second of failed tries. Taking pity on the guy, Clint slid on his feet and knocked on the big biceps. Jesus, Thor shouldn't wear t-shirts. It inspired complexes in people.
"Need some help?"
"No, I've got this. Thank you."
"You sure?"
"Absolutely."
Clint has had some time to spare. But when he saw how the plastic started to show cracks, Clint has had enough. Absolutely, his ass.
"You gods, don't know the simplest things. Like living with the children, geez."
Letting the god be pushed away, Clint finished with the procedure in record time. All this time Thor watched his moves. As the new cup was being prepared, Thor sat across from Clint and stared.
"What? Something on my face?" Clint inquired uneasily. His face was nice to look at, but Thor went too far with staring.
"May I see Loki?" the god blurted as if not hearing his teammate. This question must have plagued Thor this whole time. Poor guy.
"Funny that you ask permission. Let alone mine." Clint said, looking away. Wow, would you look at that cookie.
"…Some time ago I would have thought you would be pleased for what I have done." Thor said quietly, choosing to cut the crap and go for the kill.
And indeed, it was as if Thor used his lightning, because Clint's mind short circuited. Because, wow, he would have.
Then.
Not now.
Now the mere thought made him nauseous.
Loki holding the arrow aimed at his blue face. Loki bleeding from his eyes as he lay on the ground, lifeless. Loki rolling from Natasha as they both got unburied. The god choked almost to death by his own stupid brother…
Barton put down the cookie.
Thor was sitting with stone face, looking at him calmly. Goading his reaction. Clint wanted to smash his face. What a jerk. Even if Clint was pleased whether Thor almost chocked Loki to death, the archer knew, he was absolutely sure, that after a moment of triumph would come the guilt and disgust at himself. He would be disgusted even thinking that such thing could please him.
He was not such a person. And after the time spent together as a team, Thor knew Clint was not such a person. So it left only one explanation.
"I am not going to absolve you of your guilt, Thor. You will not find an ally in me, not in this."
Many forgot, that Clint Barton was also a spy in their little band of heroes, not just Natasha. And he too could detect intentions of people. And what a sight was Thor, looking chastised like a small naughty kid.
"I-I wasn't… I know. It wasn't my intention to…"
"Oi, just relax already. I know you didn't." And that was that. Thor was a damn good guy. A true hero. Even if Barton said it was no big deal about what happened (because it was Loki, right?) and patted Thor on a shoulder, Thor would have realized that it was wrong. Sometimes Thor didn't know what his actions implicated. Maybe that was why Loki got tired.
"I apologize."
"Forget it."
"Though I believe you have some words for me nonetheless?"
Clint paused. Oh, so it was the talk. The talk about how Thor messed up and shouldn't do it – like, 'almost kill anyone in their team and Loki including' do it – ever again, because it was bad. The archer didn't believe he was one for the job though. It was Captain America's job to lecture them when they did stupid things, but he was not here now. Clint Barton was.
He really was the unluckiest man today.
"You know," he started, pushing the chair closer to where Thor sat, "when I and my brother were little, we traveled everywhere together. Where he went, I followed. But it was not… we were not close. You could say we were hostile to each other. Often. Like, he to me. Anyway. Once my brother put us in a position when, if you walked in, you will not get out. Ever. We fought. This time I didn't follow him. And you know what? It was the best damn decision in my entire life." Clint finished. The details played no role, but Clint thought Thor understood.
"I… I didn't know you have a brother." Barton nodded.
"Yeah. Was an asshole. He's dead now."
Oops. The wide eyed look at Thor's face was confused and alarmed. He must have wondered how one could speak of one's brother in such a flippant way. Well, Barney was a piece of shit. He would have had himself and Clint killed, going into the gang all those years ago, not thinking of the consequences, only about the money and fame. Well, Clint managed to escape, so only Barney got himself killed for his foolishness.
"I'm sorry." Thor choked. He must have imagined Loki dead. Aw. Shit.
"Hey. You know why I mentioned it? Because sometimes family messes up. Hurts each other. And sometimes it's better to walk away."
"But… I can't!"
"Not the point, buddy. Loki, as I see it, escaped. Scooted. Walked off. Absquatulated. At least mentally, I am still not aware as to what exactly happened back at your home, whatever. All I'm saying, that… he got better. So… can you, I don't know, let him go?" Clint asked hesitantly.
Thor looked down and stayed quiet for a while. His eyes were far away as he finally spoke.
"I had a dream after I left."
Flames. Suffocating, burning, killing flames all around. What was happening? Where was he? His eyes were burning. From the smoke or tears he wasn't sure. All he knew was that it was his fault. Wasn't it?
Finally opening his eyes, he could only scream from despair as Asgard was crumbling before him. His home, his people, burning. How could he let it happen?
"I was standing on the Bifrost, looking at my home burning in eternal flame, the bodies of my subjects under my feet, dead. I was stranded, alone, my body littered in wounds."
Defeated.
The feeling of utter despair held him in its catches, not letting him breath.
It was his doing.
He destroyed Asgard.
He, who was king, destroyed his kingdom.
"I didn't know what has happened exactly. Only that it was my fault. My fault."
And just when he thought that it was the end, Thor heard his name being called. By someone familiar. The voice he would recognize anywhere.
Turning around he saw Loki, looking worse for the wear but there. Alive.
He was calling him.
And behind him were his people.
"When I woke up, I realized a simple thing."
Whether the world will be falling apart, in the most crucial moment Thor could count on Loki. Always.
Clint was listening silently. When the god finished, Barton finally ate the cookie, making Thor lean back, discomfited. It seemed to Clint, that the moment was too meaningful for the god and Barton, the idiot, ruined it. Oh, well. (If he was so important, don't go chocking the guy, Thor!)
Besides, the conversation became too deep. Clint was used to simple things.
"Y'know, Thor? If the person follows you to the end of the world and back, trusting you, you have to be a man and treasure it, not taking anything for granted. Because one day this person could start doubting if following your lead is worth it, and make a decision to leave. And maybe, like in my case, it would be the best decision they ever made. Or, in your case, the worst position to find yourself without your brother. So!"
The archer looked at the watch on the wall, stood up and patted Thor on the shoulder.
"Okay. I talk shit. Gotta go. See ya, big guy."
~o~0~o~
"Is His Majesty awake now?"
"He is."
"So? Will he help? I need the answer, agent!"
"I will see what I can do, sir. Gotta go. Call me later."
~o~0~o~
As Natalia Romanova made her way to the room she was never in, she agreed with Bruce wholeheartedly.
Her leg needed rest for some days.
That was why once she woke up, Jarvis immediately played the record of Clint's whining to her, but she wasn't sorry for him. Because, her leg. That hurt. So suck it up, Barton!
Knocking twice, Natasha waited for the lock to magically open. She heard Bruce mention this trick. But instead she heard the steps and in the next second Loki stood before her.
Nat blinked and smiled a little, seeing the god looking for the world more or less presentable, but to her eyes he looked sleepy and disheveled. He could have been sleeping still when she came. Imagining the god of mischief ruefully rolling out of bed and quickly putting himself in order was far too amusing.
"Good morning." She greeted sunnily.
Loki sighed almost imperceptibly. Stepping to the side, he let her in. Natasha might have felt offended, seeing how begrudgingly Loki was greeting her anticipating some agenda, had she any right to it. After their history, she wouldn't have let herself in too. Especially not after just waking up.
But she needed to set something right between them. Not that Nat thought much about what she was going to say or do, coming here, but the need to come was almost irrepressible.
"How are you feeling?" Natasha was curious about Loki, about his room, what the things in it would say about him, but now was not the time. She came with something else in mind.
The chuckle was his answer.
"All this concern. Why is that?"
Because even remembering how she lay trapped under the rubble, oxygen barely left, she felt safe. Loki was bigger than life, and feeling him covering her, protecting her, it wouldn't let her dismiss him ever again. She couldn't treat him with indifference, not anymore.
"Well it's hard not to care after you saved me and Stark. Bruce too. So my question is rather valid, don't you think?" She gave him a tiny smirk.
She wanted to thank him.
"That is true." Loki mused. Natasha smiled at his playful reverence.
"All I'm saying... You didn't have to. But you did. Thank you. That's what I wanted to tell you."
For the moment the god froze, too surprised to mask his reaction. But it passed far too quickly.
"Yes, well..". Loki turned away, frowning as if not knowing what to say. Natasha wanted to escape before it became awkward, but seeing how Loki started fidgeting, the mood worsening, told Natasha that her gratitude was a bit too much for him. Shit.
"I have made you uncomfortable." She remarked solemnly. They were people with strong personalities. No matter how ridiculous it may seem, Natasha didn't want to upset him, using kindness. Natasha was not Steve, who could say thank you and honestly mean it. Loki would think thrice before accepting her thanks.
She knew firsthand that if you overdo it, the other person would turn away. And Nat, strangely, didn't want that with Loki.
She was so worried for her boys, and Loki was a true hero for her yesterday. So she truly wanted him to believe her.
"Some. I am unaccustomed to trust such honesty from the likes of you." He admitted after a slight pause.
It always ends in betrayal.
Natasha acted before her mind could shout at her to stop. She walked on and embraced Loki across the waist and squeezed, her face buried in his shirt.
"Get used to it, because you have it."
And before Loki could react, she was finally gone.
~o~0~o~
Just be yourself. Tony Stark needed to do it. And he knew Loki was right behind the doors. He just needed to do it. Easy.
"Loki! Just the man I was looking for. How is life? Comfy much?"
Ok, maybe it was too cheerful. Loki looked like he was comfy. Right before he, Tony, came into the room. So maybe he deserved it. Who cares anyway?
"Stark. What is it you want?" Loki, clothed in one of his most homely attires – soft gray loose sweater and black jeans - slowly closed his laptop, tucked it behind his back and stood up - from quite a big pile of blankets thrown on the couch. Huh, did he look defensive?
"Look, I… I am not really a man who apologizes, cause, you know… feelings, all this sentimental shit, it's just not for me. All right? So…" Why was it so god damn hard? He hoped his flippant manner was convincing because… because… "So can we skip the bullshit and pretend that we kissed and made up? What do you say?" Tony winked and smiled his best smile.
A smile, that slowly slipped off his face to turn into an uncertain frown at the expression on Loki's face.
Oh no, Loki was definitely not in the mood. Definitely defensive. Like, pissed off.
Steve mentioned Loki was tired yesterday, but still playful enough so that Rogers understood the god was not angry. Not at anyone. As Steve made himself and Tony breakfast, he told Tony an abridged version of what transpired between him and Loki last night after the infirmary check. Tony almost spat his coffee when he heard how Steve literally picked Loki up and threw him on the chair, because the god was being difficult.
"But how are you not afraid?" Tony whispered aghast.
"What's that?"
"I mean – you… touch him? Just like that? Literally manhandle him! Are you not afraid he will, dunno, stab you? Make you into a hamster?" Because Tony Stark truly believed it was his fate should he ever so much as bump Loki Laufeyson.
"Huh. I guess."
Tony has speculated about this a lot. Loki the Frozen King has warmed up to them. Well, not to all of them, and not the same, but it has happened. So, could it be the right approach? They were friends, right? And friends brush this stuff aside, yeah?
Nope!
Because considering how tightly Loki clenched his jaw, Tony, should have approached from another angle.
"Should I truly be grateful that you step over your throat to say 'thank you' to me? Is that right?"
Tony shifted as he heard the words 'over your throat', flinching internally from the visuals of Loki's bruised throat, his own cut throat from his nightmares, from choking on his blood while being smashed by the alien Hulk. Ok ok, stop Tony. Loki's disappointment was nothing to worry about.
"Why so glum? We are both alive! And that is to say, I wanted to, you know… Good job?"
Nope, didn't work. God, how did Thor endured it his whole life? If Loki was pissed off like this every time Thor fucked up, what mental shields the big guy had to construct? Because right now Loki's silent wrath was so much worse than actual screaming and threatening.
The god gave him a look of such bitter disappointment Stark was stunned to feel heat suddenly burning behind his eyes. Steve said he was fine with me. Did he lie? It was like he was a teenager once more, standing in front of Howard to be rebuked and humiliated. Just this one memory woke up the anxiety, that quietly hovered on the surface, ready to break Tony Stark.
More than anything Stark wanted to shout at his treacherous body to shut the hell up and calm down! He so suspected Loki was aware that Tony Stark couldn't keep himself in check. He so didn't need to be mocked by him…
Oh, he sighed quietly. Loki never mocked him for this, even if his suspicions were true. Loki didn't and that was what made his guilt skyrocket. That was the difference between them. It was Tony who has done it. The hero and a genius.
"Um. Right, sorry. Yeah. Listen, I am a jerk, but-"
"Did you know… that the Hulk broke my spine in four places?" Tony reeled. Loki blinked at him. "More than that, my neck was sprained so much I thought one wrong move and it would break completely, thus killing me." Now Stark was breathing too hard to be healthy. 'Too much?' Loki thought nonchalant? "At the first moments after the beast left me alone, I couldn't see. I thought I had lost my sight permanently, you know." Loki turned away just in time to miss Tony gasp and double over, his panic taking over his mind almost completely. "But the thing is, I would not have reacted so strongly, because what is a little mockery between friends, right? - if I thought you ignorant, Tony." This soft Tony and now the said man couldn't hide from the god as Loki looked right into his eyes, wide blown across the melancholy green. "Only when I have come to live here I asked Jarvis to update on the information you all have in your possession about me. And, gods above, you know what I've found? All the information about my injuries, every single one of them, there for you all to see and laugh." The last word was hissed through clenched teeth.
"But don't you strain yourself, Stark. To say 'I'm sorry' for making light of my misfortune, surely it is oh so hard."
Lost to his bitter thoughts, Loki didn't at first understand what he has heard. But lifting his eyes up drawn him a picture he never imagined to witness. Tony Stark broke down. Not in tears, but he was heaving, as if he couldn't breathe. Sounds like sobs but not quite, were so intense, Loki's hands started to tremble in sympathy. What happened? Surely my words didn't ignite this awful reaction?
"Cease your crying, mortal. At least not in front of me." Loki turned to avoid looking at the spectacle, back to his couch, until unintelligible mumbling jerked his attention back.
"M'cn't, Loks, can't do it, can't, s'rry, m'so sorry..."
Ridiculous. Stark mocked him, hurt him and now he was the one in pain from this? They were all broken, so why should he care?
Why should I comfort others, when I was never comforted in turn?! Why should I care, when nobody cared about me? Why should I give my help, when I was always alone? Why is it always like this?
Loki stood silently and watched as Iron Man crouched on his knees, gripping his arc reactor through his shirt, desperately trying to stop his panic. It was pitiful. Pathetic, how Stark couldn't.
Why is it always like this…
"It's… it's alright. You are alright." Loki carefully lowered himself at Stark's side and placed a feather light touch on his shoulder. Gods. Now he had a mortal clinging to him, hugging him. That time Tony hugged him after he was saved, was experimental almost, cautious. Now it was desperate.
"It was a close call, but you are fine. You made it. You are alright, Stark."
"Only because of you!" The realization of how truly close to death Tony was, seemed to start the real tears.
And to think that Loki hoped just for a little humbling when Stark started with all his proud peacock attitude and roundabout ways. And instead he's got a messed up engineer clinging and crying at him, bubbling apologies. The result was obtained, but the implementation… sucked. Well, now he felt guilty! What a farce.
Enough was enough.
"Come here. Sit. Shut up." As Tony did all he was ordered, Loki took two glasses from the shelves and sat down there on the couch beside Stark, only inches between them. Giving Tony the glasses, he then watched, and something like wonder took over the mechanic's features where earlier there was nothing but deep rooted misery, when he conjured a bottle of wine. The color was deep red and the aroma so piercing that it seemed to shake Tony up a little.
"What is it?" He rasped and sniffed.
"Wine. Very rare. Appreciate it, you yokel."
Loki ignored the weak Hey and poured a drink for them both. They drunk in silence. Loki was impressed Tony didn't so much as cringe from how strong was the wine, but maybe his magic really healed more than he thought, when Loki brought Tony back from death. Typical.
"Lokiiiiiii… you are so cooooool. I won't let Thor hurt you."
"I appreciate it Stark."
"He hurt you bad."
"I know. It's fine."
"Not fine! Friends don't do that. Let alone brothers."
"Oh, they do."
"I don't know what I'd have done if Steve tried to kill me…"
"You'd have stood up and went forward. No matter what. You are strong."
"Why are you so nice to me? It's not fair. I hurt you too!"
"That were but words, Stark."
"I will make it up to you. Swear."
"Norns. What am I even doing here?"
"Yes. I will. I have already started. You'll see."
"Alright. Get some rest."
"The best, baby. Uhuh!
Coming back from his run, Steve could only face palm finding Loki and Tony both drunk and asleep in the middle of the day. It seemed they were both on the couch, just before Loki gathered enough of his wits and pushed Tony to the floor.
~o~0~o~
"Romanoff!"
"Sorry, boss. Loki and Tony are drunk. It's useless to ask. Maybe it's better if you-"
"-Call later? Is it? Is it, Romanoff!?"
~o~0~o~
"Sorry, sir."
"Motherfu-"
~o~0~o~
"Anyone gets what is happening?" Tony whispered to Steve. The human Avengers were sitting in the living room before the giant TV, watching their monthly Asgard reality show. For once in some time now everyone was present and not engaged in one thing or another, be that social chores, endless hours in the labs or workshops or missions.
After waking up on the floor outside Loki's room, with Barton, Steve, Nat and Bruce looking down at him, Stark did the only thing he could think of. Going right back to sleep. If only Steve was not so strong as to hail him up and on his feet, and Clint fucking Barton not so loud with his idiotic guffaws, Tony might have fared better. Now he was sitting buried in the blanket, with only his face visible. Loki's magic wine apparently was weird in the aftereffects on mortal men like him. Not only that he couldn't stop shivering for some reason, but he also couldn't talk, his voice gone as if he smoked a hundred cigarettes at once. That's what he called a hangover!
"Thor asked to talk with Loki alone."
"And just how is it a good idea, hmm?"
"They looked pretty cool."
"With that hair they look fabulous. I'm not talking about that, bird boy! I'm talking about WHY are we letting Thor alone with Loki? I think the last time their talk cleared everything? Why do we let Point Break here at all?!"
"Stark. First of all, you look ridiculous. Secondly, I can barely hear you. And third, Thor is still a member of the Avengers. And even if it is your tower, it is also a home for all of us. Unless you order him to get his stuff and get out - he has a right to be here. And as for letting him near Loki - it was Loki's own decision." Tony made a ridiculously surprised noise, clearly not believing Barton could talk sense.
Natasha snorted. "You mean, after Loki almost burned your hand when you tearfully tried to stop him?"
"Not the point right now, Nat!"
"And I think we are not taking it seriously! One team member almost killed another because he was angry! It is so not a joke in my book. Cause we can poke each other with electrical sticks, we can shoot each other with dummy bullets, we can even shoot each other with real thing - but we know it is not serious. Because we TRUST each other. At least in some way. But what Thor did… It was serious. It was intentional. It was real. Don't know about you, but how can I trust him not to kill me the next time I call him 'princess'?"
Tony's apparent fear for Thor was surprising to everyone around. They didn't realize how what happened affected their friend. Of course, they all noticed how Stark tried to get away from the Thunder God every time they found themselves in close proximity, but didn't much pay attention to it. Now they did.
"We hear you, Tony. But… Isn't it more for Loki to decide?" Steve agreed softly, laying a comforting hand on a bump that seemed like Stark's waist. No, it was his ass. Great.
"Should we listen?" Bruce fidgeted. The doctor was remembering the first time they all watched Thor and Loki fight on TV and what they found out then left the humans shocked. Banner was not sure he was prepared for more cans of worms opened.
"No. We just watch. It is not our business." The Captain stated. And if anything happens, they will be ready. Steve's words got nods all around.
"Didn't stop us before..."
"You said something, Stark?"
"No, nothing, Cap."
~o~0~o~
"Sir. Loki said he will come to your office to discuss the 'Jotun invasion'. In two hours. I guess he meant the topic of Jotun help with the victims' medical issue. Sir... Sir?"
"Yes."
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes."
"… Right. Good day, sir."
"Yes."
~o~0~o~
Thor knocked on the open door.
"Can I come in?"
There Loki was. The god didn't know if it was Jarvis who asked the others to leave them both alone to talk or his teammates decided for themselves, but here they both were. This talk was long overdue.
Loki turned to face Thor and nodded. If the Thunderer thought that Loki would be cautious or angry, then he was wrong. It seemed while the Avengers developed a great hesitance around Thor, Loki was behaving quite opposite. Calm and relaxed. The anxiety Thor felt coming here loosened up a bit.
"Coffee?"
Thor blinked. In all his nervousness, he had missed how his brother has already managed to fix two cups of coffee and offer him one. Which was strange? The Thunderer fumed. Sometimes he didn't understand Loki's behavior at all. Thor could say one wrong world and Loki would retaliate by a raging fit worth his own, giving him Seven Hells for his mistake. And now Thor made a truly grave offense, almost killed the god, and what did he get for it? Nothing! Loki was acting as if it was no big deal, and brushed it aside. Offering him a coffee! Odin's beard!
Thor really should be grateful but mostly he was confused. And tired. He exhausted himself with feelings and stress and guilt. He readied himself for a fight of the millennium. But instead Loki seemed not angry at all. Confusing!
"I didn't think you would be so- ", Thor stopped, only now realizing his traitorous thoughts found a way out. Loki smiled.
"So? Go on. We are to speak, so let's be honest. For once."
"Yes, let's. What I meant, I did not expect so mild a reaction from you. About my presence. Here." Thor stuttered on his words. He blushed in embarrassment. Get a grip, warrior!
Loki pushed from the table he made coffee on to go sit on the couch, his mug cradled in his hands. As if he was cold, Thor though. Maybe Loki was not so unaffected after all.
"I think humans have already given you hell, didn't they?"
"They did." Thor said softly, coming from the entrance to join Loki on the couch. He waited for the cold stare or Loki telling him to sit elsewhere, but there was nothing. The younger god was at easy with him. Thor smiled a little, feeling his heart squeeze in gratitude.
"Peculiar beings." Loki murmured, taking a sip of his drink. Thor hummed.
"They are protective. One of the qualities I respect them for."
"Hm."
While Loki was distracted with his coffee again, Thor took a moment to look at his brother. Of course, they've already seen each other plenty of times since Thor came back. But still.
Midgard has done well by Loki. The man was calm, healthy, confident. Not even in Asgard at his happiest, Loki looked like that. Something always stayed behind Loki's sharp smile, something in his eyes, something amiss. The Thunder God suspected, the opinions of Thor's friends mattered then, Odin's attention when he deigned to share it mattered then, the nobles observing Loki's every move tirelessly mattered then, looking for Thor's littlest praise mattered then. Now all those things were gone. The weight of expectations lifted. With Loki more steady and free and happy with it. The thought was humbling.
Much of the credit for this lay on his team. The mortals cared for Loki's needs, helped him in his work and interests, challenged him in his intellectual games, appreciated his skills. They have kept Loki safe.
Thor sighed and looked away after making sure there was left no evidence of his crime. No swelling, no bruises, no marks. As it was never there in the first place. Which of course was not true. The mark existed, forever in Thor's memories. And no matter what, he would not be able to wipe it out.
Shaking the grim thoughts away, Thor looked up just to see Loki staring at him with a curious expression.
"What?" Thor asked earnestly. He was all too happy to postpone his words.
"I wanted to thank you." When the King of Nine Realms gaped at him like a fish, Loki smirked.
"Wh- For what?"
"For coming to help. I know it was not a close call, but you came right on time. Because of you Natasha doesn't have anything seriously wrong with her health."
Thor never failed to fall for just how much Loki could surprise him. Here he was crawling back to beg forgiveness for almost killing him in rage. So Loki goes ahead and thanks him. What madness! Loki was mad, period.
Thor stored away the knowledge of how Loki referred to Agent Romanoff as Natasha now, which secretly gladdened his heart. Thor was always beyond himself when his friends became Loki's. Thor realized that the relationship between Loki and the Warriors Three and especially Sif was deceptive, smiles falsely. What was sad was that Loki was not the one who lied about it. Those were his friends that deceived him, making him believe everything was fine, while intentionally separating the brothers, throwing at Loki accusations, being hurtful or dismissive, all behind Thor's back.
After the total fiasco from Thor's side, that by breaking the trust between him and the team, the news that Loki held the humans in high regard let Thor know that these people were good for Loki. They were not afraid telling Thor off, while in Asgard everyone would always take Thor's side even if he was in the wrong. In Natalia's case he already heard her say to him 'You hurt him again, I hurt you.' Like a true shield sister should. Thor was truly amazed Loki had this.
"What? Didn't expect me to be grateful?"
"Um. No. Not after what I've done, no."
"Well, lo and behold. I am capable of saying thank you."
"Of course you are." Thor smiled warmly.
"Have any of them given you hell?" The younger god smirked.
"Um. Yes. Except you." But he was sure it was still ahead of him.
"Well. I am not a fan but I can appreciate when someone saves my life." Loki nodded.
Thor started to smile insecure, happy at Loki's words, until-
"That is, if this someone didn't try to kill me first, of course."
And here it was. The opening. Thor practiced, he truly did. Loki's amusement helped greatly to say the words he prepared.
"Not that I don't regret what I have done to the bottom of my heart, Loki - nothing I would say will erase it from our memories. Only that, to make a light of the disaster… you tried to kill me a lot of a more times than I did. So…"
Loki slowly turned. He was staring at the blonde in horror. The Thunderer smiled tentatively. It was such a risk, such a crazy gambit to say such thing to Loki now. It could go both ways, but Thor truly hoped Loki would warm to his usual arrogant humor. Once or twice throughout their whole lives Thor was cleverer than Loki, when he needed to win the verbal fight. Thor had nursed the memories as something precious. Now he hoped Loki would react the same – laugh at the absurdity of Thor's audacity.
And Loki did. He huffed in disbelief, shaking his head.
"Oh you bastard, Thor."
"And I am not even denying it, Loki. What happened - happened. I can fall on my knees before you to ask forgiveness, but somehow I know it is not what you would want."
"Really now?" The God of Mischief looked as if he tasted something foul. In no reality could he predict Thor going with this course to obtain his forgiveness. But he had to agree, the oaf took him by surprise. Damn idiot. Good job.
Loki sighed quietly and looked down. That was not exactly as he envisioned it (he imagined over hundreds of ways their meeting would go), but he was glad Thor switched on his wits at last. And it worked. It did. But it was bittersweet.
"And now what?"
"Now we… can stop any interactions between each other if you want. We can… go our separate ways, like you always wanted. We can ignore each other. Or…" Thor looked up with the most ridiculous hopeful look to ever exist.
"Or?"
"Or we can… that is to say… Um." Stupid oaf. Even now he can't be a man enough to say it! He hopes I will do it for him?! Lazy ass!
"Oh, you are absolute bastard! I can't even-"
Thor's laugh was just a confirmation. It was… nice to laugh. This whole mess was so dark and sharp and painful. To laugh about it was liberating.
After some moments Thor's mirth died out and he got serious. Jokes were good, but now was the time to talk.
"Loki. You said that you were grateful. Now is my turn. It took me forever, but… Thank you, Loki. I owe you big time."
What would have happened if Loki didn't bait him? If he didn't take the fallout on himself? What man would Thor have become? How much would he have lost?
Everything he realized while in Asgard, when talking with his friends - human and Aesir – he would talk with all his heart.
"I was a fool. In many things, in many ways. But what pains me most, aside what I have done to you, how much pain I brought you, now, it is what I haven't done… on the day of your trial." Loki jerked as if Thor slapped him.
"No, stop. Thor, I don't want- "
"No, listen. Please, I need to say it. I was a fool. I couldn't go against the father's word. It was unthinkable to believe him wrong."
"It's not the-"
"Please let me say. I could no more disobey Odin, as much as you could suddenly fall in love with the Jotuns the moment you realized you were one. It was simply not the way the world worked. Our world at least. I was a fool, weak of will to understand that what was happening was wrong, to listen to your side, to make my own decisions. So I condemned you. Because I believed in my king, that he, Odin, being so wise, so all seeing, knew what was best. Mother cried the day you were brought back home. She cried after she talked to father. I know not what they've talked about, but she has changed since then. I? I have not changed at all. And for that I sincerely ask your forgiveness. You deserved a better brother."
~~~
Just as shock and surprise faded, Loki sat there on the couch in the Avengers tower, undoubtedly being watched by the mortals, and got to thinking. Thor was not a complete fool, he must realize that Loki wanted to forget that day, not get reminded about it. Loki mostly put all that horror behind him. So there was something else about it. Some surprise maybe?
"W-why… why did you mention my trial?" Loki asked calmly. He tried not to think how his voice cracked on the question. That was the most he would show how it affected him.
"I… I hope we would talk later, about what happened that day. If you allowed it." Not likely. "But… Odin woke up."
So that was why. Pity, Loki already knew.
"Oh… So you… so what?"
"Nothing. It was only temporary. Mother says it is the tidings of his full recovery. Soon he will be fine."
Loki was looking at him strangely. But not nearly as surprised as Thor thought. Then the Trickster opened his mouth to say something, but refrained. Then he shook his head and looked up, exhaling. He was frowning. Thor could relate. He felt the same when mother told him this news. And just like that Thor didn't know what to do, how to proceed, what it meant for him, for Loki, for the new agreements between Asgard and Jotunheim, for his time spent on Midgard instead of the throne, of the time he would have to stand before Odin and… and speak. Explain, confess, maybe beg. Not as to a king, because Odin no longer was king. But as a son to a father. Thor wasn't ready.
And it seemed Loki was not either.
But at least Loki wouldn't have to be in Odin's presence and be at the end of his anger. Not anymore.
"It is said that the All father sees and hears all as he sleeps." Loki mused. His feelings for Odin shut deeply inside. Besides, what did he care for the old fool?
"Um.. No. He was quite disoriented. It seems this sleep was different. Odin knows not what transpired. Not of you or me or.. Anything."
"Cheers for that. He is in for a surprise then!" Loki cackled. Thor couldn't hold his laugher too.
"Oh Loki."
~~~
As the evening progressed, two kings found themselves at the turning point. Both knew it was time to make a decision. Both knew what they wanted.
"So… Loki?" The said god sighed and admitted the truth.
"I don't want to be angry at you anymore, Thor. It is exhausting." Thor stilled.
"And I don't want to let you go, Loki. Every little thing I dismissed, forgot – I want to learn them anew. I want to get to know you. Truly know you. Please? Be my brother? At least… give me a chance of being one of yours?" Loki huffed, amused despite everything.
"I never thought our positions would turn so. Never believed you would ask me to let you be my brother, not the other way around. As it always was in our childhood." Once again Thor felt guilt eat up at his soul for past mistakes.
"I was always too full of myself and I am sorry for every time you turned to me and got rejected. I… realize now, how it feels. I am sorry for the pain I caused. I was blind.
"Could you ever… forgive me?"
No.
Honestly, this awful desease called caring, became chronic so long ago. This man, this sun kissed god, with his stupid hair and his stupid smile, and his stubborn kindness and big heart full of compassion, was his brother for a thousand years. He might hate him most of the time. But…
He loved him.
So many things changed. Did it change too?
Loki knew it didn't.
Yes, you fool.
Of course he will forgive him. Maybe not now, maybe after a century. But he will. Loki would even forgive their mother. It was not something he could turn off; it was his soul. No matter how hurt he was, you can't just stop loving your mother. No matter how long you were apart – your heart would burn if you see your brother you spent your whole life with again.
Even if Loki never saw them, Frigga and Thor, again, he would know, in his heart, that he loved them. Still did. It was his choice.
Loki asked them both to speak honestly from the start. It was him being honest.
"You realize that we have so little time for that?"
Thor's heart skipped a beat. Loki said 'we'. Thor smiled to disguise his shock and utter delight, because Loki would surely go back and want to change his phrasing.
"I do. That is why it is so important to me to start immediately."
"Idiot." Loki said exasperated. Thor saw it as fond.
"Yes. That's me." The Thunderer smiled ear to ear, like a happy fool he now was. Loki shook his head and raised an arm to cover Thor's whole face as if not to see such awful sight. Thor was startled and mildly shocked at the touch. It was childish and familiar and so so wanted. Thor couldn't remember when he could touch Loki without fear of burning. Sometimes literally. But now, this touch was… brotherly. His smile slipped from his face to be replaced by wonder.
Loki must have also realized too late what he has done. Muscle memory perhaps. He tried to pull away, but Tor did not allow him, instead taking a cold pale hand in his. Looking into those familiar eyes, Thor simply said.
"Thank you for this. You are still my brother, Loki. Even if I am no longer yours. Please, know this."
Loki sighed and finally completely relaxed.
They spent another hour in quiet conversations. Nothing too private, nothing too special. Just talking. When Thor was leaving, Mjolnir's pendant was on his chest, Loki's gift for him from Norway. He really could not feel happier even if he tried.
~o~0~o~
When Loki has finally arrived at SHIELD HQ, Nick Fury took him immediately to his office, predicting a long discussion about the Jotuns arriving soon. But to his great dismay Loki didn't agree to bring Jotuns to Earth to help humans. He said it was too dangerous for his species to come here yet. So he would help Fury's scientific department himself, getting humans to develop a cure themselves, with his help. But his men would stay home, at Jotunheim. For now, at least.
"Is there someone bright I could work with?" Fury nodded, disappointed at the whole situation. They were on their way to the laboratories. If Nick Fury was against the fact that Loki, his organization's enemy (he predicted Coulson will have a lot of paperwork), was walking beside him in his facility, gathering potential information for himself, he was too professional to let it show. Some SHIELD agents they met though weren't.
"I think so, yes. And we have already called Selvig too." Loki visibly restrained himself as not to sigh.
"Lovely."
"We needed a failsafe." Fury retorted. He was not going to place all eggs in Loki's basket. They turned a corner and got a view of big space, people in white coats engaged in a myriad of projects. Aside from many computers, information of all kinds of projects was presented in many holograms, coloring the room in blue light. No one paid others much mind, too buried in their own research. The one's who noticed the newcomers, nodded at the Director of SHIELD, all as one making a double take at his companion. Loki tried not to show it, but he quite liked how the scientists didn't gape at him or recoil or all other nonsense. On the contrary, for example, the young dark haired lady with her companion got identical excited smiles on their faces when they saw Loki. It seemed, knowledge here ruled everything. Knowledge Loki could share.
"Right. No Foster?" Loki couldn't resist to sneer a little. It was not surprising when he found out that it was SHIELD that organized Jane Foster visiting Thor months ago. What they aimed for – to wheedle new king of Asgard, to gather intel on Loki himself – the god didn't care.
"Oh, but how desperate were you?" It was a disaster. Foster was not even a doctor in this field. How sad.
"Listen here! I… I know. So what? Gonna mock us? Little mortals? "
"No." Loki sympathized. He truly wasn't. Walking through the rows on tables, something has caught Loki's eyes. How interesting.
"Do you realize that nothing I do is for free, Director?" Loki asked casually. Initially he came here for free. Help humans, be a good guy, like Steve would sing. But who knew, he could change his mind and get something out of all of this.
"You didn't mention there will be a cost." Fury said slowly, his eye twitching the only sign of his annoyance and wariness. Loki saw that he was ready to refuse almost anything that will come out from Loki's mouth, but diplomacy kept him in check. "May I inquire as to what you will blackmail us with?"
"Nothing of the sort, human." Fury twitched.
"Well? What is the cost then?"
"My condition is that I would take from you everything you have on the Hulk clone creature."
"Why?" It was really a strange condition coming from the god, Fury thought. One, he considered, he could actually make concessions with.
"You could say I take Bruce under my protection. You don't want both of us angry. And don't make me start on what I will do should I find out you pursued the research on the Hulk."
Though Fury didn't know why Loki was interested in Banner and what results could come out of studying the new monster, in this the Director could relent. SHIELD didn't need trouble on this front. So they agreed on this condition. Nick sighed.
"Thought you've turned over a new leaf."
"I am not a hero, Director. Nor am I a vile creature you believe me to be." Fury's opinion about who Loki was or wasn't he would keep to himself, and no one but Professor Xavier maybe would even know it.
"But you don't really want to help us." This Director knew. And Loki confirmed.
"No. But I am here nonetheless. But heed my words, that not always there will be an easy solution for humanity. Teach yourself overcome difficulties by your own efforts and the Norns would smile upon you." Loki said with a small smile. "I will help you find a human solution."
"Alright. And- thank you."
~o~0~o~
A/N: aliens? plot? where?
FYI I don't pretend to like Natasha's character. I really couldn't care less about her. So! I created some new Natasha for my story. Hope you don't mind the OOC.
Also I thought much about Thor and Loki talk here. Let me know what you think please. It turned into something entirely different from what I first thought it would be, but I stopped at this version. On one hand, I would want Loki to kick Thor's ass and forget about him forever. But on the other, I want those too to reconcile. WAR! Anyway, just so you know it gave me trouble to write those idiots))
P.S. Am I the only one who looks for fics where Loki does not get humiliated at every step of the story? Ragnarok has it plenty, so at least in fics I try to find some peace. I SO hope Loki's new series (BLESS!) would not discredit his character, but give us something real for once to admire Marvel for in regards to Loki. Fingers crossed!
I hope you liked this chapter :D See ya!