"He said he was Merlin's father?" Gaius asked.

"In a note left behind," Leon clarified.

Gaius sank heavily into a seat. The last knight that had returned from Arthur's patrol had left his chambers except for Sir Leon. He had checked them over and found them mostly unharmed. A few needed cold compresses and medication to bring them back to themselves, but it was simple work. Now as the crisis of the moment dissolved, he slipped into confusion and worry.

"He was a merchant?"

Leon nodded.

"Of what?"

"Woodworking, I believe."

"What did he look like?"

Leon regarded the physician warily. "You don't mean to join in the search?"

"I think I could accomplish little that our prince couldn't. I am, however, concerned for Merlin's safety."

Leon pressed his lips together in compassion for the old man. "He was tall, thin, dark of hair, blue eyed."

Gaius put a hand to his chin. It could indeed be Balinor.

"He seemed sad. Lonely, perhaps. Do you think he is Merlin's father?"

"It's possible," Gaius conceded what he actually felt to be a certainty. "Merlin knows little about the man."

Leon stood, his shoulders drooped in defeat. "If Arthur does bring him back, I fear I have failed Merlin irregardless."

"Oh?"

"His kestrel. It fed off his plate and fell as we all did. Prince Arthur asked me to bring it home to wait for Merlin, but it revived and I'm afraid flew away before I could restrain it."

Gaius smiled softly. "Don't fear then. It's always been able to find its way to Merlin wherever he is."

Leon sighed. "If only we could fly, Gaius." He laid a comforting hand on the physician's shoulder, then departed.

Gaius remained in his seat. That Balinor lived pleased him, but that he had carried out such a drastic action to acquire Merlin disturbed him. The man he had known wouldn't have done such a thing. Gaius rubbed at his forehead. Then again, if what had happened to Balinor happened to him, perhaps he would have acted the same.

"Gaius?"

The physician looked to his doorway. "Gwen. Come in."

The maid entered tentatively, her expression distressed. "You know about Merlin?"

Gaius nodded.

Gwen moved a chair to sit next to him. "Arthur's gone after him."

"So I hear."

"Do you think Merlin is in danger?"

Gaius pursed his lips as he thought. He would have said "no" if you'd asked him a day ago. Now he wasn't so sure. "I don't think so." In his heart of hearts, he just couldn't believe Balinor would hurt his son.

Gwen put a reassuring hand on the physician's arm. "I thought, since Morgana let me go for the day, I could help you. Until Merlin returns."

Gaius looked into Gwen's hopeful eyes and patted her hand. "Arthur will return as well."

Gwen worried her lip. "I know he will."

Gaius reached over to a bundle of herbs. "Crush these, then."

She nodded and stood to fetch the mortar and pestle. She could do nothing this time but wait and hope that Arthur and Merlin returned to them safe and sound. But Gaius feared another result—that once Merlin learned who his father really was, Arthur would ride through the gates of Camelot absent the boy they'd all come to know and love.

Arthur trudged along, skimming every leaf and stick in his path. He knelt down, scrutinizing the ground, a growl vocalizing his frustration.

"Sire?"

"What?" he snapped at the knight behind him.

"We...we've been looking for some time. Perhaps..."

Arthur stood and rounded on the knight. "And what do you propose, Sir Baudwin?"

The knight, a newer recruit, swallowed but admirably raised his chin boldly. "If I may speak freely, sire."

Arthur had no wish to endure the free words of anyone right now, but his own words constrained him. He'd always assured his knights they had his ear at any time. "Out with it, then."

"We've seen no evidence in any part of the woods. I think we cannot find the boy."

"So you suggest we abandon Merlin."

"We could...send more knights back."

Arthur scanned the faces of his knights. "You may return to the castle." Many looked relieved Arthur had seen sense. "I will continue the search alone."

Baudwin gaped. "Sire, I didn't mean..."

"Go back!" Arthur shouted.

"We cannot leave you, my lord."

"And I cannot leave Merlin, so it seems none of you can either! Nevertheless, I command you to leave. I do not want men along with me who have no heart for even the least of my kingdom."

Arthur cringed at the wounded looks on several knights' faces. He'd gone too far. He clenched his jaw for a moment, letting his mind gain purchase over his emotion. He spoke more calmly. "Go back if you wish. Follow me. It doesn't matter to me what you choose."

He stamped away back into the trees and after a moment heard six sets of feet following. He was glad of their loyalty, but inside his mind whirled with the truth Sir Baudwin had spoken. They had found nothing, no indication that Merlin had been dragged away, that anyone had moved through this distant place of the forest.

Arthur balled his fists. He needed to trust Merlin more. He stifled a moan as he recalled the boy in the stocks, punished on his orders because of an enchantment he suspected. Merlin seemed to have some sixth sense when something was amiss. He should have listened to him and shadowed the merchant himself.

Arthur punched one hand into the other. The merchant had drugged them, but surely a man wouldn't harm his son, would he? And Hunith hadn't seemed the kind of woman to link herself to a ruffian. Then again, she had demonstrated ill judgment in studying magic. She hadn't told Merlin much about his father, and no wonder if the man was like this. Perhaps she hid her own mistake of choosing an unworthy man to knit herself to.

Arthur angrily shoved aside a curtain of moss in his way. How had this man found out about Merlin? And why come after him now? Arthur's hand went to his hilt. Whatever this man's designs, come hell or high water, he would find Merlin, and make it clear that shared blood did not constitute an undeniable claim to the boy.

Morgana made her way to the training yard when the knights in the armory informed her Lancelot had lingered after their practice. Grunts and familiar thuds of a sword sounded as she turned a corner to behold the man she loved drenched in sweat beating a dummy as if it had deeply offended him. He didn't notice her, his eyes ablaze as he whacked away.

"Lancelot," she called out. He didn't hear, continuing to slash and thrust. "Lancelot!"

He stopped, lowering his sword to turn to her. She met pained eyes. His chest heaved as he regained his breath. "Why are you here?"

She ignored his question. "Is this about Merlin?"

Lancelot paced to a rack, replacing his practice sword. "I should have been with them."

"You're blaming yourself for this?" Morgana asked incredulously. Lancelot made to walk away, but Morgana gripped his wrist. "This isn't your fault."

"Merlin's out there with this man claiming to be his father. Who knows what could be happening to him," Lancelot protested.

"Arthur won't stop until he brings him back. Like he did with the witchfinder."

Lancelot clenched his jaw. "Fathers don't give up their children easily."

Morgana stared into his eyes, realization dawning on her. "This isn't just about Merlin. It's about your father." Lancelot pulled away from her, moving back towards the castle. She ran to catch up to him. "Talk to me."

"And say what?"

"What's in your mind, your heart."

Lancelot guffawed. "You don't want to know that."

"I do." Morgana slipped her hand into his. "I know what he did to you."

Lancelot threw his other hand in the air. "Oh, yes. Everyone knew. No one did anything about it. Least of all the king."

Morgana scanned the area. A few passing servants had noticed them and glanced hurriedly away. "You can't talk like that out here," she hissed.

"Why? Because it will embarrass the great king Uther?"

Morgana pulled Lancelot along, stepping through a side door to a vacant hall. "I've never seen you like this." She meant to reflect concern, but her tone came out as an accusation.

Lancelot jerked his hand away from her.

"You don't know that Merlin's father is like yours."

"He drugged Arthur and our men! You assume he's all sweetness and sympathy?"

"Lancelot..."

The knight jabbed a finger at her. "You don't know! Don't pretend you do!"

Morgana scowled at him. "And you don't know what it's like to have a loving father ripped from your arms without even a good-bye! But you don't see me accusing you for it!"

Lancelot lowered his shaking arm. He looked away. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Morgana moved over to lock her arm in his as he leaned against the wall. "You can tell me anything, you know that."

Lancelot wiped at his brow. "I don't think there's an inch of me he didn't bruise at one time or another." He laughed mirthlessly. "Mother went to Uther, begging him to intervene. He talked to my father. I got the worst beating of my life that night. He almost killed me. I was laid up for weeks."

Morgana sucked in a breath. "They said you broke your leg while riding." She remembered the time she hadn't seen Lancelot for more than a month. She rested her head against his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't do it. You have nothing to feel sorry for."

"I'm sorry it happened at all."

Lancelot brushed a hand over his eyes and gripped her hand. "If this man is Merlin's father and he's willing to hurt others to get him..."

Morgana squeezed his arm, the unspoken truth hitting her like a punch to the gut, images of Merlin beaten and bruised taunting her mind. If only she had a way to find him herself.

Merlin spooned grainy porridge into his mouth, staring through its steam at the man sitting across from him. His stomach twisted with a jumble of emotions he couldn't put words to. He had longed to meet the man in front of him, and now that he had, he wasn't sure he wanted to be anywhere near him.

Balinor set his bowl down on the floor. "Do you want to move closer to the fire?"

Merlin shook his head.

"How much has your mother told you about me?"

Merlin shrugged. "Just you helped people during the Purge. Uther made you leave her."

"And Gaius?"

"You were his friend." Merlin swallowed another bite. "They didn't tell me much."

Balinor drew in a long preparatory breath. "Then I suppose I need to start at the beginning."

Merlin chewed slowly, eyes intent on his father.

"I grew up in Camelot when magic was practiced freely. The king before Uther believed in making a strong kingdom using every means available, including magic. Magic flourished. I flourished."

Merlin's brow furrowed. He'd copied history assigned by Morgana. He knew about King Constans, but the books said he let magic run rampant to his detriment.

Balinor smiled sadly. "What you could have been if you'd been raised then."

I'm still Emrys, Merlin grumbled inside.

"But then the court split into factions. The knights chose a side and a leader, Uther Pendragon, and as you know, he took the throne. He, too, employed magic, perhaps a bit more judiciously until..." he paused to stare pointedly at his son, "the prince was born. Uther's queen died and he turned his grief towards magic."

"I know this," Merlin spoke quietly.

Balinor looked away, his tone becoming bitter. "King Uther began to tear down what he called the evils of magic, and his hand grew heavier each year. Those targeted fled, and there were those of us who viewed it as our duty to aid them, get them out of the kingdom. One of our resting places was a home in Ealdor."

Merlin stirred in his seat. "My mother."

Balinor nodded. "She was brave. She felt for the people escaping Camelot. Confronted with a dying man, she gave refuge to him. Word of her compassion traveled and more appeared on her doorstep. We became aware we had a friend in Ealdor, and I was charged to lead an escaping family there."

Merlin's brows met in confusion. "The elders weren't bothered by that?"

Balinor smiled. "The elders didn't know. Refugees arrived at night and stayed only until early morning. Your mother fed them and gave them drink, sustaining them for further journeys." His eyes shone. "I remember sitting at her table, amazed a slight farming woman had such strength in her heart. I began to guide more to her door, just so I could sit and watch her. And over time, we began to care for each other."

Merlin bit his lip when tears appeared in his father's eyes.

"It was some good in the midst of dark days." He wiped at his eyes, then fixed his gaze on Merlin. "I'll never forget the day your mother drew me into a corner and told me she was with child."

Merlin's stomach dropped. "You knew?"

"I was pleased. And it was then I determined that peace must be had in Camelot. I could not let my child grow up in fear." Balinor's gaze hardened. "I sought out Druid friends, forged alliances, and sent messages to Uther, begging for negotiation, an end to hostilities and the kingdom's pain. But he did not listen."

"You knew about me," Merlin stated, still stuck on this point.

"Yes."

"How could you leave?"

"Let me finish."

Merlin set his bowl down and stood. "Were you there when I was born?"

Balinor nodded.

"And then you left me? You left us?"

Balinor stared up at his son. "I did not want to. By the gods, I swear it was not by choice. Uther was hunting me. And when he found me in..."

"You could have taken us with you!"

"And force you and your mother into a life of constant flight?"

"We would have been together."

"I wouldn't do that to you or her. I loved you too much."

Merlin's chest ached in anger. "Some kind of love," he spat out sarcastically.

Balinor now stood, his eyes flashing. "You weren't there. You don't understand."

Merlin's chin trembled. "I understand you left us alone."

"Listen to me."

Merlin turned to move away and Balinor grabbed his arm. "Let go of me!"

"You will listen. I'm your father."

"You're not my father! You've never been one! Take me back to Camelot."

"Merlin..."

"Take me back!"

"Not until you hear it all."

Merlin wrenched his hand out of Balinor's grip and ran to the tunnel, ignoring Balinor shouting after him. He backtracked the way he had come, exiting onto the blustery ledge. Kilgharrah had been lying there and rose when he appeared.

"Kilgharrah!" Merlin called out. "I want to go home."

The dragon stared at him with intense yellow eyes.

"Help me! I need to go now."

"Kilgharrah!" Balinor shouted when he reached the ledge. The dragon turned its head to Balinor. They met each other's gaze as if playing a game of "who could look away first." Balinor apparently won when Kilgharrah turned away.

"Come back inside," Balinor demanded, turning to his son.

Merlin backed away. "I listened to you. Now send me back to Arthur."

"I need you here."

"You said you'd let me go!"

"Not yet."

"Argh!" Merlin's eyes flamed gold as he threw his hands out. Balinor tumbled, slamming into Kilgharrah who remained as immobile as a stone wall.

Balinor recovered, standing with a furious expression. He stalked towards Merlin who moved back, suddenly fearful. He hadn't really meant to attack his father; he was just so angry. Balinor grabbed his arm and dragged him back towards the cave.

Merlin struggled until Balinor dropped him to the ground in the large cavern.

"It's a serious thing to use your magic to harm others!" Balinor reprimanded. He crouched down next to Merlin.

Merlin scoffed. "Says a man who drugs my friends."

Balinor grabbed his shoulders. Merlin pushed against him, but Balinor held fast. "Your mother struggled for hours to bring you into this world. I held her hand as she writhed in agony."

Merlin stilled, looking up into eyes brimming with tears.

"We thought you might not make it, or she would perish. Then your cry filled the house, strong and solid. I'd never felt such pride, and never will again. And when I left Ealdor, for years my hands ached with grief whenever I thought of the last time I held you. I wanted to raise you. To teach you and tell you everything."

Merlin choked down a breath, his own eyes filling with tears.

"The best part of me died the day I left you behind." Balinor shifted his hands, gripping behind Merlin's neck. "Now you're here. And I can finally tell you who you really are."

Tears slipped down Merlin's cheeks. "They...they called me bastard. They called my mother..." He couldn't bring himself to voice the words that rang in his ears even now.

Balinor spoke through a strained sob. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Give me a chance, Merlin, to make it right between us. Please."

Merlin slumped into Balinor's shoulder, and the man he'd never known as father wrapped his arms around him as they both wept over a lost past.

Kilgharrah's eyes were closed, but his mind awake, listening to Merlin's distressed thoughts. He hated to be so close to the warlock but unable to speak. His will had been countermanded and thus he was forced to observe Emrys' sufferings without comment. Anger burned in his heart that his view on the matters had been silenced.

The old dragon heard a weak flapping and prickly feet perch on his head. They were quite high up, but not so high that an eagle or falcon didn't find its way to the ledge. As a rule, dragons and birds were friends, but that didn't mean being stamped about the head was any more comfortable. Kilgharrah shook his head back and forth to dislodge the unwelcome guest.

A thump informed him the bird had landed by his front feet, but he didn't hear it fly off. His eyelids cracked to slits, and he rolled his left eye to a brown and white feathered creature. Startled, he raised his head. "You."

He reached out with his paw to draw the bird close. It shivered. It should never have come this high. Kilgharrah blew warmth onto it, then slid it close to his breast secreted in his paw. His eyes gleamed. He may have been commanded not to talk to or obey Emrys, but Balinor had said nothing about the warlock's kestrel.

Author's Note: I want to again express my gratitude to those who have followed, favorited, and messaged me about this fic. I love the Merlin fandom. I was so surprised to find it so very strong still, and I love sharing the love of Merlin with all of you. I want to also let you know that I only post my fan stories on this site. A reader recently discovered that my work had been copied and posted on another site. If you ever see my work on another site, be aware it is not me. This incident made me all the more grateful for my loyal readers. I love you all!