Hey everyone!
First things first, quick apology for the long time period since my last update, but I am sure you all are unfortunately used to that by now. As of two weeks ago, I am back at university for the year and since then, have not had much time to finish this chapter.
Luckily, this weekend is Labor Day weekend in the U.S. and so I have a three day weekend on my hands. So I decided to take a lazy day and spent the last few hours catching up on Criminal Minds and finishing this chapter.
So, as usual, you all know that I only own Lucy and her respective storyline.
Otherwise…onwards, dear friends!
Chapter 37:
"And…there," declared Lucy with an air of finality as she neatly signed off on their latest newsletter.
Scanning her eyes over the freshly scrawled lines on the page, Lucy found a self-gratified grin pulling at the corners of her lips. What number newsletter was this? Five? Six? She didn't know. For some time, she avoided counting how many pieces she produced for fear that, in spite of all their care, they would be caught any day.
However, once she began to see and hear from John just how successful the Silencer papers were, Lucy found herself writing and producing newsletters with an enthusiasm that overrode her worry about Bane and his mercenaries snuffing them out. Besides, from what she was hearing, with every minor rebellious uprising, Lucy could mentally chalk up another point on their side. They weren't winning—at least, not yet, but they were burrowing through the mountain that was Bane and his regime. That alone was a truth that Lucy could feel become more and more tangible in her hands with every word she sent out to the people.
Finally, she could say that she was doing some good.
Sighing contentedly to herself, Lucy sat up in her cot, intending to get Will's eyes on the new issue before they get back on the computer and put it on the press.
Most days, the teenagers stuck to a comfortable schedule. When they weren't making deliveries and Lucy was busy writing, Will usually took up the rudimentary responsibilities of their hideout—making rounds about the school to make sure their traps were still intact and in place as well as check on their food and water levels. Afterward, he would come back to their campsite and spend the rest of the day with her, talking over newsletter topics and anything else of import for that particular day.
But, oddly enough, it was late in the afternoon now, well past his return time, and he was nowhere to be seen.
Humming curiously to herself, Lucy decided to call him up.
"Will?"
There was a short pause before she heard the beep of his return call, "Lucy! Hey, I was just going to call you!"
"Were you?" Lucy echoed, before her brow furrowed questioningly at the wind she could hear whistling in the background. "Where are you?"
"The roof! Come join me!"
"The roof?" questioned Lucy, "Why?"
"It's a surprise! Take the access stairwell in the social studies wing," He called back, before adding on a moment later, "Just trust me!"
"Alright. Alright," Lucy relented, wondering what could be the cause of Will's chipper-than-usual tone, "I'll be up in a bit."
Hanging up, Lucy picked herself up and off her cot and stretched out her stiff limbs from sitting in the same position all day. Then, she made swift work of layering up again—first her knit jumper over her flannel followed her coat atop that, and finishing with her boots over her worn, woolen socks. Once she was zipped snug under her layers, she grabbed her journal off her cot and stuck it inside one of her coat pockets before setting a path for the social studies wing like Will had advised her, once again reminding her that he, for some odd reason, knew more about their high school than she did.
A few minutes later, Lucy found herself trotting up the three flights of stairs towards the roof. As she neared the topmost landing, she saw the roof access door, bearing a faded bright red warning of NO STUDENTS ALLOWED, propped open by a heavily graffitied desk.
Through the crack of the door, she could see a long sliver of a Gotham winter beckoning to her, and she did not hesitate to press the door open and slip outside.
Once she fully emerged from the access stairwell, Lucy gathered her coat tightly around her form at the sudden drop in temperature and scanned the snow-covered roof for Will only to see him a few feet before her, near the ledge of the roof and perched on the seat of a clean, well relatively clean, picnic table and smiling warmly as ever at her. Beside him on the table, she saw a small, round cake with a single flickering candle poking out from its top.
"What's all this?" Lucy asked, cocking her head to the side in bafflement.
Standing up, Will opened his arms in a simple gifting manner and said, "Happy birthday, Lucy."
"Birthday?" Lucy repeated quietly, her brow furrowing together as she wracked her brain for the date. She had lost track of the date weeks ago, but thinking about it now, she realized just how late in December they were. "It…is the 21st of December isn't it. Hm. How about that?"
"John said you wouldn't remember," Will commented lightheartedly, "And I know that we are busy as it is, but I thought we should celebrate anyways."
Lucy smiled thankfully and came closer, "You really didn't have to do any of this for me."
Will shrugged, "John and I wanted to do this for you. Plus, any excuse to have cake, right?"
"Speaking of which, where in Gods' name did you get cake?" Lucy asked, eyeing the plain, but still delicious looking, chocolate dessert on the picnic table.
"Home Ec. Classroom It's a box mix, which minimized my chances of cocking it up." Will explained quickly, bashfully scratching the back of his neck.
"Well, it's more than I could have asked for right now," Lucy assured him, taking a seat across the picnic table from him.
Glad that Lucy was content, Will gestured to the cake and urged her, "Well, go on then! Make a wish and blow out your candle!"
Lucy sat back for a moment, biting softly at her lip at Will's behest.
Make a wish.
She was sure he intended it to be a part of the general tradition of celebrating a birthday, and had this birthday been like previous years, Lucy would make some quick, half-hearted wish for another fairly painless year of life. However, this time around she felt like a birthday wish was not as superficial as she once treated it.
Truth was is that there was a very long list of things she would love to come true at this moment, but she couldn't wish for it all could she?
Her gaze trailed away from the still flickering candle on the cake and gravitated off the ledge of the roof, where she could see the skyline of the city. And just beyond that, between the silhouettes of towers and skyscrapers, she saw the frozen waters of the Hudson and a burnt orange sunset skimming its way on the horizon, glinting brightly off the ice and snow blanketing the city and giving her the impression that there was warmth beneath it all.
Immediately, she felt a pleasing shiver run down her spine, the unbridled beauty of the sight inevitably striking a chord in her. And as a chilly breeze drifted over her, gently pushing through her hair, raising goose pimples on her neck, and making her nostrils pleasantly burn, Lucy figured out what she wanted.
I want us to live long enough to experience a moment like this a year from now.
Whispering the wish in her mind, Lucy turned back towards the cake, leaned across the table and cleanly blew out the candle. Afterward, she plucked the candle from the cake and asked Will if he had something to cut the cake with—to which he produced some plastic silverware and napkins from his coat. Taking one of the plastic knives, Lucy sliced the cake into quarters, took a piece for herself, before pushing the plate towards Will and offering him a piece. As they ate, they fell into a comfortable silence, taking to enjoying the cake and the peace and quiet around them.
It was a short while later, when there was only a little more than crumbs left on the plate, that Will broke the silence.
"So I've got a gift for you." He announced, brushing his hands clean on his jeans so that he could reach into his coat.
"You're telling me there's more than this?" Lucy asked, gesturing at the empty cake plate and the slowly lowering sun in the distance.
"The cake and the view were more like part one and two. John is supposed to be coming around soon enough so he's part three," Will explained, before producing a newspaper wrapped package that was in the shape of book from his coat and handed it to her, "And here's part four."
Taking it in her hands, Lucy shook her head at him, "You really didn't have to get me anything."
"Well, I will admit that I didn't have to spend money on it, but I think…well I hope you like it."
Peeling back a piece of tape, Lucy opened one of the folded edges of the newspaper wrapping, titled the package over, and out into her hands slid a book. The cover was a black and white photo of a little girl wearing an old fashioned, ruffled dress, buckled shoes, and a small tiara atop her head who was, to Lucy's curiosity, hovering a few feet off the ground. It was entitled Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by—Oh.
"I found it in the library and thought that maybe you'd like to read it," explained Will, but Lucy barely heard him, too gripped in shock by the author's name scrawled at the bottom of the book cover.
"That's…that's my dad," Lucy breathed incredulously, her fingers brushing back and forth over the name as if she were worried that it would go away. She flipped, then, to the back cover of the book, where there was usually a picture of the author and sure enough…she recognized his face. "That's him. Oh my goodness…"
With glassy eyes, Lucy glanced back up at Will, unable to completely convey her overwhelming disbelief, yet uninhibited gladness at what she was seeing. Will simply smiled and nodded in understanding, before telling her to look inside the front cover.
"He dedicated the book to you and your mom, Lucy."
Turning back to the front of the book, Lucy flipped through the first few pages until she found the dedication and she began to read it aloud.
"'For Elena and Lucy, my wife and daughter, who remind me that the human psyche is capable of expanding to contain all sorts of contradictions and seeming impossibilities'."
Lucy fell silent, mulling over her father's dedication and finding more and more truth in it. It was a profound truth that Lucy had been certainly feeling through all her trials, but had yet to hear someone say it in the most perfect way possible. Certainly, she remembered that Bane used to tell her something along the same lines, but Lucy had always felt that it sounded wrong coming from him. Quite simply there was just something extremely right about it being her own father's beautiful words.
Will said worriedly, "Oh, Lucy I didn't mean to upset you…I'm sorry…"
Upset me?
Blinking confusedly, Lucy realized that her cheeks were slightly wet.
"Oh," Lucy sniffed and wiped at her cheeks, shaking her head, "No! It's alright, Will. Really. I'm just overwhelmed that's all…I just never thought…"
"Never thought what?"
"That I would find more purpose behind who I am and what I do."
"It's nice to know that it's not just coincidence anymore that you are doing what you're doing. It's not a coincidence that you love it, Lucy. It's in your blood."
Lucy nodded slowly, wrapping her mind completely around Will's declaration, "I guess it is."
"What's wrong?" Will asked a beat later, noticing her expression fall a little bit.
Pursing her lips, Lucy softly closed the book and murmured, "I wish I could remember them more. I wish I could still remember the sound of their voices…remember if my mom ever sang me lullabies or if my dad ever read me bedtime stories. Sometimes, I think I can see their faces in my head, but…it never feels like a real memory…just something I saw from a picture and internalized. But now I have this," She ran her hand over her dad's book, shaking her head and a look of deep thought wrinkled her brow, "But it's just a string in the tapestry that used to be my life. I'm grasping at strings with the memory of my parents, Will, but I want it all back. I just don't know how to do that and—"
"Hey, hey, hey," Will gently interrupted her rambling and reached across the table to cover her cold hands with his, making her glassy gaze meet his, "Remember what you told us—just because you can't see something, does not mean it never existed. Your parents were real, Lucy. They were as real as you and me, otherwise why would you feel such a strong need to have those memories back. I think those memories are somewhere in that brilliant mind of yours Lucy…they've just been…" He drifted off uncertain of how to word his next thought.
Lucy filled it in for him. "Just been locked away from all the bad."
"Exactly," said Will quietly, before continuing. "And I promise Lucy that when we make it out of this, I will help you fill in those blanks. But until then, I want you to remember that your parents are nearer to you than you think. You carry them with you every day. The simple fact is that death and tragedy can't touch what love can do. If you can believe that this city has a greater capacity for good than evil, then you have to believe that your connection with your parents is stronger than what Bane could have try to link to you."
The warmth of Will's hand over hers and the resounding veracity in his words effectively calmed Lucy's pent up nerves. All that had spilled from her mouth had been lingering in the back of her mind for weeks now, but every time it made a small, inopportune appearance in the forefront of her mind, she pushed it away, sure that there was something wrong with her.
Now, the thought of her parents and what they truly meant to her no longer seemed like a veiled, elusive ghost. There was substance there, the thrumming of a wire being brought back to life.
Taking a deep decisive sigh, Lucy held her father's book to her chest, as if to commit it to herself like a stamp on her heart. Glancing up, she opened her mouth to thank Will, but found her thanks suddenly dying on her lips as she took in Will's distracted expression.
He was staring hard at something over her shoulder, wearing a deeply worried brow.
"Will, what's wrong?"
Will struggled to form an answer before he ended up simply raising his hand and pointing behind her. Twisting around confusedly in her seat, Lucy immediately saw what was troubling Will all of sudden.
Across the skyline behind her, there was a cloud of black smoke billowing high into the sky, a harsh red orange hue shining underneath it.
Something was burning.
"Where's that coming from?" Will asked, but Lucy was already up and walking over to the ledge to investigate.
Leaning slightly over the ledge, Lucy squinted and tried to locate some landmark through the smoke to locate what was burning. It was difficult—the smoke was beginning to thicken significantly and unfurl into the air like blanket.
Lucy shook her head and pulled away from the edge, "I can't tell, the smoke is too thick. What's in that direction? We've gone there before, right?"
"Erm…there's some apartment buildings, residential neighborhoods, and…." Will trailed off, his face blanching in realization.
His horrified gaze slid over to Lucy and it did not take very long for Lucy's eyes widened in unfortunate understanding and her expression instantly matched his.
"Oh no."
The words were barely out of her mouth before Lucy was spinning on her heel and tearing across the roof, Will following closely on her heels. Wrenching the access door open, they scrambled down the stairs and burst back inside the high school.
No, no, no, no, no! Lucy chanted anxiously in her head, as they skidded back into their base camp and made a hasty grab at their bags. Please don't be what I think it is. Please don't…please…
Dashing out the nearest exit, Lucy and Will looked anxiously to the skies and began to follow the steadily growing trail of smoke down an all too familiar route. Glancing back at her friend and taking in the increasingly agonized look on his face, Lucy began to get the sickest feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was the distinct feeling that there was nothing but disaster waiting for them at the end of the smoke trail and it was sitting on their shoulders like a pound of lead with no other intention but to drag them to their knees.
Yet, they pressed on, urgency and anxiety pushing them forward through the streets like shots of adrenaline in their veins. But as they emerged onto a recognizable street corner, Lucy and Will came to a hard stop.
The air was thicker here and the stringent smell of smoke was too hard for them to ignore now.
With bated breath, they shared a fearful look before casting their eyes up toward the smoke and warily tracing it back to its unfortunate host.
"Oh God," Will croaked, grasping hard at Lucy's arm, as if to steady himself at the harrowing, fiery spectacle before them.
St. Cecilia's was aflame.
Lucy opened her mouth to say something, but all she could do was gape—rendered speechless and incoherent by the sight.
Though, not a moment later, she felt Will's tight hold on her arm turn into a firm tug, jerking her out of her momentary alarm. Once she was quickly reigned back into the urgency of the situation, Lucy and Will took off running down the street, heading straight for the burning orphanage.
Or what might be left of it. Lucy thought to herself, as they neared the heart of the mess
Arms drawn over their faces to protect against the smoke, they saw that the whole of St. Cecilia's was quickly on its way to becoming a mass pile of scorched brick and wood. Every inch of the orphanage—from wall to window to roof—was swiftly being swallowed up the unrelenting lick of the flames. The iconic cross—the beacon of St. Cecilia's—no longer stood perched on the roof. Instead, it lay bent and black on the front steps of the establishment.
What could they salvage from that?
The despondency of that realization only mounted as Lucy finally took notice of the figures emerging out of the smoke. Running as if some monster was hot on their heels, nuns and children herded past them towards the safety of St. Swithin's—their faces not only smeared black with sweat and smoke, but marred by sheer panic.
In her peripheral vision, Lucy could see Will turning frantically around and around in the smoke and she could just barely make out him calling out his sister's name—eyes wide searching for Lily's face among the mess around them.
She wanted to help him look.
She wanted to do something.
Anything.
But as she drew her arm away from her face, the smoke ruthlessly assaulted her senses and she suddenly felt thrown off-balance. Everything swiftly into a dizzying, incoherent state around her—orange, black, grey and faces all blurring together—and each time she blinked or tried to shift her eyes somewhere else, things only became more and more disjointed and disconnected.
Her heart was beating too loud in her ears.
Her breath was choked up somewhere deep in her chest.
Her eyes were watering and for the life her, she could not keep her gaze steady.
It was as if everything mixed together—the fire, St. Cecilia, and everything in between—was enough to stir up her brain and completely overwhelm her.
Yet, even in her addled state, there were still questions shooting through her mind.
How could this have happened?
"Lucy!"
How?
Why would anyone—
"Lucy!"
A sharp gasp hissed from Lucy's lips as she was suddenly jerked around.
And as quick as her world turned in on itself, it snapped right side up again and awareness and clarity flooded back into her veins. Blinking her eyes back into focus, she took notice of the pair of hands on her upper arms and their respective owner.
"John!" She breathed in relief, before stuttering on and erratically pointing back at the burning building behind her, "Oh my goodness, John. Will and I—We just…I saw…Oh my…How could this have happened? How! I don't—"
"Lu, Lucy! Hey, hey, hey," John said, trying to quiet her, "We need to get you out of here and inside. Right now."
"W-what? Why?" Lucy asked confusedly, "What about St. Cecilia's? What about—"
"Everyone is safe and accounted for, Lucy. Will found his sister too. You are the only one left out here," He explained quickly, trying to hurry her in the direction of St. Swithin's while his eyes were warily darting up and down the street.
It was then Lucy glanced around the street to see that she was indeed the only one still lingering outside the burning building, save for the few noble neighborhood patrons who had come out to try and staunch the fire, as best as they could because they doubted any fire department would be coming around any time soon.
Seeing that there was nothing left for her to do out there and at John's insistent behest, she let him lead her back towards St. Swithin's. Once they reached the front door of the boys' home, John pushed Lucy inside first then, before shutting the front door, she noticed him cautiously take in another sweep of the street.
"What's wrong, John?" She wasted no time in asking the moment he shut the door and rejoined her side. The wary looks…the worry line in his brow…the hastiness with which he took her inside...he couldn't keep anything from her.
Rubbing his hand over his face, John swallowed and licked his lips, deeply considering the answer to her question. Finally, he sighed, as if settling on his decision, and laid a hand on her back. "Come on. We need to talk to Mother Superior first."
Despite being put off by his lack of an answer, Lucy still allowed him to lead her through the boys' home that was now nearly packed to beyond its full capacity. Not only were there double the children and staff swarming around, but Lucy could see a few groups of civilians and elderly people milling around, as if the St. Swithin's had taken on more than housing just children recently. Weaving through the throngs, Lucy spotted Will sitting on a cot in the corner of the room, cuddling Lily to his chest. They caught eyes for a moment and shared a small nod of reassurance that they were both relatively okay.
Turning away, she caught up with John as he went inside one of the back offices of the boys' home and stepped inside after him. Seated just inside the office, dabbing at her brow with a handkerchief was Mother Superior.
"Mother," John murmured, gently touching the woman on her shoulder to get her attention.
Mother Superior whirled around, wide-eyed and still clearly working through the remnants of what had just passed. When she saw that it was just Lucy and John, she gave a heavy sigh of relief and relaxed significantly in her seat. Shuffling over, Lucy sat down across from her and took Mother Superior's shaking hand in hers.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
Mother Superior could only muster a short nod before asking in a frail voice, "Are the children alright? Are you? A-and what about the orphanage?"
"Everyone's alright, Ma'am," John joined in, bearing two glasses of tap water from the attached bathroom and handing them over to Lucy and Mother Superior. "The building on the other hand…"
When he drifted off, Mother Superior's eyelids slid shut and she pursed her lips together in painful understanding. A moment later, she opened her eyes again, slowly nodded in acceptance, and took a deep gulp of water.
"Mother Superior…how did this happen?" Lucy asked carefully, trying to be delicate about it despite how sensitive she herself was feeling at the moment. "Who did this?"
Mother Superior pursed her lips again and was silent for a brief moment, her eyes going distant as if she were returning to the moments before the fire, "We didn't tell them anything."
Lucy felt like something take a hold of her stomach and twist, "Didn't tell who what?"
"The mercenaries." She murmured, "They started coming around the orphanage a few weeks ago. First, they would just circle the block. Then, we started to see them walking around the street. Before we knew it, they were knocking on our doors and demanding to search the premises. Obviously, they didn't find what they were looking for, but…they started asking questions about you, Lucy."
Lucy suddenly felt herself stiffen up on instinct.
"I told them that you once lived at St. Cecilia's when you were child…that you often made visits since then. I told them that we hadn't seen you since early in the summer and that we had no idea where you were or what you were doing."
"But they didn't believe you, didn't they?" Lucy asked, her mouth feeling suddenly drier than before. She went to take a sip of water, but her hand started to shake and she immediately put the glass back down.
Mother Superior shook her head. "They never did. They came back often to question us, but the answer never changed. And since we did not give them what they wanted…" Mother Superior broke off then, her usually strong, stoic demeanour swiftly breaking down as she started to sob.
"I-I didn't mean for this to happen, Mother," Lucy murmured, clenching her free hand by her side and struggling to hold it together.
"No, no, Lucy, I do not blame you," She replied, wiping at her own cheeks and reaching out to brush her hand on Lucy's face, "A building is replaceable. You, Will and the other children and everyone else we hold close to our hearts, however, are not."
Mother Superior's words pierced her to the core, and all Lucy could manage in return was a shaky nod and a tight watery smile. Mother Superior, who had somehow managed to put herself back into order, leaned their foreheads together and smiled tiredly, albeit reassuringly, before standing up and shuffling out of the room to tend to the children.
As soon as the door shut behind Mother Superior, Lucy shoved herself up and out of her seat and began to pace around the office.
Lucy felt like she had been punched in the gut.
She felt sick to her stomach.
She felt like crying.
She felt like screaming.
She wanted...She wanted to—
"Goddamnit!" She finally shouted, her voice cracking as she slammed her clenched fists against the shut door, before repeating in a softer voice, "Goddamnit all…"
John, who had seen all the bewilderment, the anger, and the frustration churning together behind her eyes, stepped up behind her and gently touched her shoulder. Immediately, he felt her tense and suck in a deep breath.
"I," began Lucy, shutting her eyes and nodding to herself as if settling on a decision, "I have to go."
"Woah, wait a minute," John interjected, his arm coming around her to press the door shut just as she pulled it open, "What do you mean go, Lucy? You can't actually be thinking of leaving right now."
"Open the door John," Lucy demanded in a determined, hard voice, not even looking away from the wood of the door.
"No." John refused, wedging himself in between Lucy and the door and taking his sister by the shoulders, "You can't go back out there, Lucy. I'm not going to let you do that."
Shaking her head, Lucy broke away from him with frustration clear on her face, as she suddenly cried out, "This is my fault, John!"
"Lucy…"
"No!" She exclaimed, "Don't try to tell me this isn't my fault, John. I knew…I always knew that Bane would never leave me be, but I thought I was being careful. I thought I was being smart! How could I have been so stupid to think that I could just get away from him that easily?!"
"You couldn't have known—"
"John, he burned down St. Cecilia's. He…he was going to hurt innocent children to get back at me. He knew that I loved St. Cecilia's. He knew what it meant to me and he knew that I would go back. I should have never…" Jabbing a finger at her chest, she rambled on miserably, "This was all my fault."
Knowing that she would not hear his protests, John did the next best thing and reached out to gather her into a close embrace, trying to ground her back to him and quiet her worries. She immediately conceded to his hug, her small hands clutching tightly to his coat as she buried her face into his chest, letting herself cry freely for a moment.
"Now that I know that he's coming for me…" She said, leaning away from his chest and wiping at her cheeks and sniffling, "I can't let anyone else get caught up in my mess. I can't let him invade my life again, so…so I have to leave."
"Ok, I hear you, Lucy, and I understand what you are saying," John said, keeping a slightly tighter hold on her before she tried to bolt again, "But, you need to hear me now. You can't just rush back out there. There are also men looking for the writers of the Silencer, Lucy. That means you have double the manpower on your tail. I can't let you run out there and get caught. Not when we are so close to ending this. You need to sit tight for a little while. Just…stay with me for a few days…at least until everything dies down outside. Please, Lucy."
Despite her overall urge to still leave, Lucy couldn't help but also think about how much worse things might be if she did get caught. A shudder ran through her body at the very thought of being back in Bane's presence.
No.
She couldn't go back to him.
If she did, her hands would be even more tied than they were at the moment.
"Fine. Just for a few days though," She finally uttered. She looked up at John then, her face looking streaky and red from the tears, but her eyes looking characteristically focused and hard again, "I'm not done fighting yet. Not one bit."
Shitty birthday for Lucy, huh.
So this chapter was supposed to be a hell of a lot longer, but I thought that what I wrote above and what I had been planning to add to it deserved to be split into two chapters.
But on the bright side, you all have something to look forward to for the next chapter.
The book I mentioned above is a real book (Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs). It is currently my favorite book series so you all should totally read that. If any of you have read it please tell me what you think of it!
Otherwise, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
Read, rate, review, follow, favorite…whatever your heart desires!
Till next time!