A/N Thanks guys, I'm glad you're enjoying Disneyland. Double update coming tomorrow...until then, enjoy :) ETA: I had so much trouble posting this chapter I nearly threw my computer out the window lol...scene break for this update will be denoted by 'xxxxxxxx'

Chapter 38

My feet are killing me.

But the pain is totally worth it.

It's hard to believe that Ashley and I have been at Disneyland for going on five hours now, but we have.

And we're not even close to leaving.

I'm so glad Ashley decided to spend the entire day here. Taking our time and not rushing around has made the experience that much more enjoyable.

Even standing in line has been fun.

Because of one reason and one reason only.

Ashley.

She makes everything that much better.

We've been talking non-stop except for when we're actually on the ride.

Then depending on which ride we're on, we're laughing, or screaming or laughing and screaming at the same time.

We've talked about anything and everything.

Well, not everything exactly.

We haven't discussed our make-out session from the other day.

We haven't discussed Aiden again.

And we haven't discussed how we use any excuse to touch each other.

Otherwise, we've been gabbing like crazy.

I wasn't sure Ashley would be able to keep up with me. I'm quite the adventurous when it comes to the rides I like but Ashley has been right beside me every step of the way.

Oh, how I like the sound of that.

She did look a little green after we finished our second round at Space Mountain but after we walked around slowly she was fine.

I did tease her though.

Just a little bit.

Ok, a lot.

Teasing Ashley is my new favorite past time.

The only damper on the day has been Ashley's new stalker.

Every time I turn around I see that damn Donald Duck asshole.

It could be a different person in the costume but my gut tells me it isn't.

Whoever is in that costume better watch out, because nobody, and I mean nobody, is going after Ashley, except me.

I shared my suspicions with Ashley and she laughed.

Whatever.

She might think I'm crazy but I'm keeping my eye on Donald and if he makes even the slightest move on Ashley, he'll be sorry.

Other than that though, I couldn't have planned for things to go any better than they are.

Ashley has this permanent smile on her face that I can't get enough of. She wants to stop everywhere, which is fine by me.

Ditching work was one of the best ideas I've ever had.

I wonder what's taking Ashley so long though.

She should have been back a while ago.

How long can it take to buy a bottle of water?

Oh man, I bet you Donald has something to do with Ashley's disappearance.

I'm about to get up from the bench I've been resting my tired feet on when I feel something really cold and wet on the back of my neck.

Ahhhhhh!

"Here's your water," Ashley whispers in my ear giving me major heart palpitations.

Oh my god!

I thought a spider was attacking me!

"You ass," I say right before I grab the bottle from her hand. I glare at her as I down half the bottle in one go and all I get in return is Ashley giggles.

I do love Ashley giggles though!

"You're welcome by the way," Ashley replies as she parks her cute self beside me.

I pinch her arm and the high-pitched squeal Ashley emits makes me smile.

Gotta love payback.

And the touching that comes with it.

"Thank you," I sing out triumphantly.

My triumph is short lived though because Ashley opens her own bottle of water and holds it above my head. "You might want to get rid of that smirk, big shot," she warns as she tips the bottle a bit more.

My eyes widen and my smirk vanishes. "You wouldn't dare. You're just a big talker." I say with no conviction whatsoever.

"Care to test that theory?" Ashley challenges in a voice so sexy and sultry it makes my toes curl.

How wrong is it that I'm turned on at Disneyland?

I can't be blamed for what I'm feeling, and if anyone else were in my shoes they'd be having the same reaction.

Lucky for me, I'm the only one wearing my shoes and I'm the one getting taunted by Ashley.

"You don't have the guts," comes out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

Why am I egging her on?

I'll tell you why.

Because Ashley just moved closer to me and her left hand is resting on my thigh.

Uhm.

More touching.

Yippee!

Go higher!

"Is that a fact?" Ashley breathes out as she raises one of her eyebrows. "Don't push me, Spence."

Her face is so close to mine.

Not close enough.

There are still a few inches of space between us.

I nudge her leg ever so slightly. "Ooops, I guess I just pushed you."

Ashley's eyes darken instantly and the smile on her face gets a tad more evil.

Uh oh.

I think I'm about to get wet.

Wetter than I already am that is!

A piercing noise stops Ashley before she can douse me in water.

Whew!

That was a close one.

I look over to where that noise came from and I see a lady in what appears to be her mid thirties, struggling with numerous bags and one wailing baby.

She lets the bags fall on the ground as she sits down on the bench. It's very evident that she's reached a point of complete frustration. She tries to get the baby to stop crying but every attempt she makes is met with more tears.

Aw!

I feel really bad for her.

"Please stop crying," she says to the baby as she bounces her on her leg. "Please, for mommy, please." She tries again but the kid won't listen to reason.

Ashley and I share a sympathetic look as the mother continues to make plea after plea to get her daughter to calm down.

Despite her crying she is one cute baby. She's wearing a pink Disney dress and the smallest most adorable shoes that match her outfit perfectly.

"I'm so sorry," she says as she looks over at us. "She's not normally so cranky."

"No need to apologize," I assure her. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

The woman sizes Ashley and me up. "If you could hold her for just a second while I find her pacifier, that would be great."

I love kids!

When they're quiet that is.

Ok, ok, even when they're not.

I used to make quite a killing babysitting when I was younger.

They seem to take a liking to me instantly.

When the baby is placed in my arms she immediately stops crying.

Ha!

I knew that would happen.

I still got it!

"How'd you do that?" she asks me as she begins to search her numerous bags.

What can I say, the Carlin charm works on even the smallest of people.

"Wow," I hear Ashley whisper so I turn my head in her direction. She's staring at the baby in my arms and the baby is staring right back at her. "I've never really been this close to a baby." Ashley keeps her voice low as her lips curl into a sweet smile. "She's so tiny."

The baby gurgles as her arms reach out in front of her.

Hmph!

I guess I wasn't the reason she stopped crying.

At least she did though, even if it was the Davies charm that got her to be quiet.

The baby starts wiggling around in my arms as she tries desperately to reach the wide-eyed brunette beside me.

"I think she wants you," I say to Ashley.

Who doesn't?

Ashley's awe quickly changes to fear. "I don't know what to do, I'd probably break her."

I chuckle softly. "Don't be ridiculous. Besides, if you don't I have a feeling this little one won't be a happy camper."

And right on cue her crying restarts.

Although terrified, Ashley lets me place the baby carefully in her arms and just as I suspected the crying stops once again.

"Hi," Ashley whispers to the now smiling little girl. "You have quite the set of pipes on you."

Aw!

She's bantering with the child.

How cute!

The sight of Ashley cuddling this baby turns me into a big pile of goo.

I almost forget about the mom until she starts talking. "You two are absolute life savers, I don't think it even matters anymore that I can't find her pacifier."

"We're happy to help," I reply for both of us.

"I'm Marty by the way." She smiles at her daughter before continuing. "And this little hell on wheels is Emily."

"Hi, Emily," Ashley says as she brings her face down to Emily's. "Such a pretty name for such a pretty girl."

For someone who's never held a baby before, Ashley is doing so well.

She's a natural.

Emily starts giggling because Ashley is now making weird faces at her.

I smile at Marty. "Nice to meet you, I'm…"

"Spencer," she finishes for me.

Whoa!

How did she know my name?

"Your hat," she explains as if reading my mind.

Oh right, I forgot I had Ashley's name and my name embroidered on our Mickey and Minnie ears.

"And it seems my savior shares something in common with my little girl." She smiles when Ashley looks over at her. "Her middle name is Ashley."

"Wow," Ashley softly exclaims before her attention returns to Emily. "You are just the cutest thing ever."

Hey!

What about me?

Emily squeals and then she reaches out and latches onto Ashley's nose.

"She has your nose," I say to Ashley and the expression of delight on her face is utterly priceless. "Do you mind?" I ask Marty as I show her my camera.

"Not at all," she replies.

I happily snap a few shots of the most heart melting images I've seen.

"Do you want her back?" Ashley asks Marty after a few minutes.

"Eventually," Marty jokes. "But for now I think my daughter is quite happy where she is."

Who wouldn't be happy in Ashley's arms?

"I am so sorry, babe," a woman says to Marty as she flops down on the bench beside her. "It took me forever to find hot water."

Babe?

"Don't worry about it," Marty tells the woman. "Luckily these two girls were around to save the day."

The woman turns to us. "Thank you for helping my wife out, I really appreciate it."

Wife?

They're gay!

And I care because?

I don't actually, I was just making an observation.

"I'm Susan," she states. "It's very nice to meet you."

I'm about to make my own introductions when I remember that like her wife, Susan has probably read mine and Ashley's name on our hats.

"Nice to meet you as well," I reply.

"Your daughter is an angel," Ashley coos as she rocks little Emily back and forth.

Susan laughs. "When she's not throwing a fit she is."

Marty starts to make a bottle for Emily as we talk. "This is the first time she's been quiet all day."

"She's just hungry," Susan explains. "Once she's fed she should be fine."

Marty stops what she's doing for a second. "It figures she'd get her giant appetite from you."

"Hey, that's not very nice," Susan exclaims as she lightly slaps Marty's arm. "You'll have to excuse my wife, she likes to think she's funny."

"I don't think I'm funny, I know I am." Marty retorts.

I watch the two of them banter and it makes me smile. "Have you guys been together long?"

"Seven years tomorrow," Susan tells me.

Marty takes hold of Susan's hand and then she places a gentle kiss on it. "The best seven years of my life."

Aw!

I hope Ashley and I are this adorable seven years from now.

"You are such a smooth talker." Susan shakes her head before she places a tender kiss on her wife's lips. "But for some reason I love you."

"It's because I'm hot," Marty jokes and she has to jump out of the way to avoid getting hit by Susan.

I venture a glance over at Ashley and she's also smiling at the exchange between the happily married couple.

That is until Emily starts fussing.

It seems she's not all that pleased that she doesn't have Ashley's full attention.

I sympathize with you, kid.

Ashley goes back to fawning over Emily while I return my gaze to Susan and Marty.

They're getting the bottle ready together but what I see is so much more than that.

A couple so in love.

That's what I see.

That's what I want.

I feel a slight tugging at my heart.

Not in a bad way necessarily but watching the two of them awakens a longing deep inside of me that I thought I had buried.

It's the intimacy that stands out most.

No, obviously they're not doing anything like that, but their devotion to one another is as clear as day.

In all my fantasies about being with Ashley this part of the relationship is something I hadn't thought about yet.

Knowing looks, gentle touches and smiles that are meant only for each other.

They work as a team without saying a word.

They don't need to speak because they know what the other person is thinking.

They just get each other in way that only comes with time.

I can't think about this now though.

Not when Ashley and I aren't even a couple.

Yet.

Not when the longing I feel threatens to ruin my well laid out plans.

Not when the aching sensation in my heart for what Susan and Marty have could derail my intention to be patient and wait for Ashley to come to her senses.

Not when my rediscovered confidence could shatter so easily.

No, I can't let myself get distracted or upset by something I don't really have control over.

I like to think I have control but the reality is I don't.

I can woo Ashley all I want and I will definitely continue to do so, but what happens next is really up to her.

And that thought, is one that unless I vanquish it from my mind, could destroy all the progress I've made these last few days.

My eyes come back into focus to find Susan and Marty smiling at me. I return their smile and blush a bit because I think I was staring at them.

"So," Susan drawls out, "have you guys been going out long?"

Huh?

Oh no!

Why did she have to say something like that?

Why?

She's totally going to freak Ashley out!

"We're just friends," I reply in one breath.

Just friends.

I hate the sound of that.

We're so much more than that.

Ashley is too busy playing with Emily so she didn't hear Susan's question.

I think.

At the very least she's not reacting to it.

"Sorry about that," Susan apologizes. "You guys just look really cute together."

Word!

Amen!

Sing it my Sapphic sister!

See, Ashley, even total strangers think we're made for each other.

Now if only you would come to that realization.

Marty rests her head on Susan's shoulder. "She likes to think the whole world is gay," she says to me.

Susan rolls her eyes. "No, not the whole world, you're exaggerating again."

They bicker back and forth for a bit while I discreetly watch Ashley and her new favorite girl.

I'm not jealous though.

Nope, not one little bit.

Susan brushes off Marty's latest barb and stands up to get her daughter back. "Ok, little one, time for lunch."

Ashley's face falls at Susan's declaration.

Aw!

It'll be ok, Ash, I'll comfort you.

Apparently Emily wasn't too fond of her mom's idea either because the second she left Ashley's arms she started screaming at the top of her lungs.

Her face is turning bright red and tears are streaming out of her eyes.

"I can feed her if you like," Ashley offers. "I've never fed a baby before but I can try."

I want to make babies with her.

How about we start practicing right now?

Yeah I know that's not possible, it was a joke.

No, not the wanting babies part, I was joking about…

Never mind.

Susan hands Emily over to Ashley and then she shows Ashley how to hold the bottle.

Within seconds Emily is sucking away and her once tear filled eyes are shining bright as she looks up at her new friend.

About halfway through the bottle, Emily's tiny hand curls around one of Ashley's fingers making Ashley's whole face light up.

I make conversation with Susan and Marty as Emily feeds away.

They are such a nice couple.

"I think she's done," Ashley announces quietly.

We all turn our attention to her and see Emily fast asleep with the bottle in her mouth.

Aw!

Ashley did so well for her first time feeding a baby.

She's going to make a great parent one day.

With me.

Ok, let's not get a head of myself.

"You really are a god send," Marty tells Ashley.

Ashley turns bashful at the praise she's receiving and that makes me even crazier about her.

Marty gently scoops her daughter out of Ashley's arms but this time Emily doesn't even stir.

Susan and Marty gather their things together once their daughter is tucked safely away in her stroller.

We say good-bye to all three of them after they decide to head back to their hotel room so Emily can get some much needed rest.

Ashley places a gentle kiss on Emily's forehead and then they're off.

I'm about to ask Ashley what she wants to do next when I notice they left one of their bags behind.

I run up to them before they disappear into the crowd.

I'm turn to go back to Ashley when Marty tugs on my arm.

"Good luck," she whispers to me.

"Good luck with what?" I ask.

I'm so confused.

Susan and Marty are smiling like they know something I don't.

"Just give it time," Marty starts as she links fingers with Susan. "Eventually she'll come to her senses like I did."

I blush once I realize what they're referring to. I turn back towards Ashley and she waves at the three of us.

"Even if she can't admit it yet, Ashley's got it bad for you," Susan chimes in.

I look down at the floor and then back up. "You think?"

I can't believe I'm even talking to strangers about this.

"We know," Susan replies for both of them.

They just made me so incredibly happy.

I mean if they can see it and they don't even know Ashley and me, that must mean something.

Right?

I chew on my bottom lip as my spirits soar. "Thanks."

I walk back to Ashley with an extra bounce in my step.

"You ready to hit some more rides?" she asks.

I nod my head vigorously. "Absolutely."

We head off in search of our next adventure when all of a sudden Ashley stops dead in her tracks.

I don't even get a chance to ask her what's wrong because she squeals, "Cotton candy!" as she grabs my hand and pulls me in the direction of the concession stand.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"They should be starting any second now," I tell Ashley while we wait for the fireworks to begin.

After an action packed afternoon we decided to stay for the nightly fireworks show to cap of what has been a great day.

We found a patch of grass to sit on without anyone else around.

Ashley's idea, not mine.

She keeps thanking me for bringing her to Disneyland and I keep telling her to stop.

But she doesn't.

I don't need any thanks from her.

The constant awestruck expression on her face and the joy in her eyes is thanks enough.

The only mar to the perfection of this day is how badly I wish Ashley and I were here as a real couple.

For some reason all I've seen today are people holding hands, hugging and all the other stuff that comes with being a couple.

I would have loved to walk around holding Ashley's hand for everyone to see.

So that each and every person would realize that I'm hers and she's mine.

I'd be so proud to show Ashley off to the world.

And I'd hope she'd feel the exact same way about me.

It's not a huge deal really, just something I would have liked to have happened.

Ok, ok, maybe it's a bit of a bigger deal than I'm letting on.

But I refuse to let my desires ruin the truly good time I've had.

Even if I can't quite shake the little bit of doubt that's crept back into my subconscious.

I won't let it get the best of me so instead of acknowledging it, I ignore it completely.

I jump when the first firework goes off and that causes Ashley to smile at me.

I love her smile.

I love her.

I hug my knees to my chest as the sky gets filled with all sorts of different colors.

I never thought we'd be here this late and now I'm getting cold.

"Do you want to leave?" Ashley asks with concern in her yes.

"No, why would you ask that?" I don't want to leave this magical place just yet.

"You seem cold," Ashley replies as I shiver.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me, enjoy the show," I assure her.

Ashley doesn't say anything and my eyes return to the sky above me.

A few seconds later I feel Ashley's body behind me and then her arms around my stomach. "Let me warm you up," she whispers in my ear.

Uhm.

Ok.

Mission accomplished.

And how!

I don't think I'm even breathing when I feel Ashley's chin on my shoulder.

I relax into Ashley's embrace and even though I want to look at her to see if I can determine what she's thinking I don't.

Instead, I sink my body into hers and let myself enjoy the fireworks I'm seeing with my eyes and feeling with my heart.

Even if I didn't get every last thing I wanted from today, I definitely got more than I bargained for.

Ashley pulls me even closer to her and I don't protest the move at all.

Being with Ashley like this makes me believe that everything will turn out just the way I want it to.

Despite that little bit of doubt that just won't go away.