Thirty-Seven

Thank you for all the reviews =)

Sleep deprived once more…and a plot twister? I'm not sure if those should fit together. ALL errors are mine. All have them so far in this story are. Wow, I'm sleep deprived today.

For those of you who want to know why I'm sleep deprived…It's a little person that cries in the middle of the room in the other night.

Despite the pain in his ribs, Ryan's walking turned into a fast jog. The sight of Lila caused so many emotions to run around his head. His mind, his body. Three months she's been absent, that was almost like he hadn't seen her in three years. Her eyes had been locked on his the whole time. They were filled with fury. Would she forgive him?

He finally stopped in front of her; she was leaning against her Mercedes with her arms crossed over her chest. How could she get a car like…this? He knew it was illegal for her to have this vehicle in the states. The air pollution devices were set for another country…the plates were from, he couldn't place it. Somewhere in Europe. Then he looked back up at her, she raised an eyebrow. He noticed that she was unconsciously drumming her fingers on her arm. Quickly. They were probably matching the speed of her heart at this moment.

"Can I help you?" she acted as if she didn't know him.

He looked at her in disbelief, "Lila," she broke away from him, "Lila!" he was close to shouting this time. He was trying to make eye contact the whole time. It would be so much easier if she was as well.

"No!" she halfway shouted opening the car door on the right side. He followed her, "Leave me alone," she slid into the car. She was about to slam the car door, but he caught it, she glared at him, "Leave me the hell alone," she gritted her teeth emphasizing the 'hell'.

"Don't do this," he's been through enough today, for the past few days. Couldn't something work out right for him? That's all he's asking, "Lila," he watched her stick her keys in the ignition and turn it.

"Officer Wolfe," she paused putting both hands on the steering wheel, "It's Detective McAlister," this shocked him, she took advantage by his shock and slammed the car door and put the car in drive and hit the accelerator. The car lurched forward sending her through the lot.

Ryan watched her go until he could only hear the sound of her car in the distance.

…

Calleigh slid into the empty booth in the small diner. Alexx sat across from her stirring the sugar into her ice tea. Calleigh gave her a tight smile and sat her purse down next to her hip.

"Baby girl, what's wrong," Calleigh looked up at Alexx, then she replied almost reading her mind, "You wouldn't call me to dinner at such short notice if you didn't have something wrong going on with you."

Calleigh nervously bit her lip, "Are you okay?" Alexx paused, "Are you breathing okay?"

Calleigh ran her hand through her hair, sighed, then looked back up at Alexx, "I don't know what to do, Alexx," the older woman raised an eyebrow, not knowing what Calleigh was talking about, "About Eric," Calleigh fiddled with her watch, "I love him more than anything," Calleigh bit her lip once more, "I'm worried."

"'Bout what honey?" Alexx had leaned forward so Calleigh wouldn't have to talk so loud over the chatter of the diner, "You can tell me anything," she watched the blond stiffen, "You know that," the blond nodded.

Calleigh cleared her throat a bit, this made Alexx worry even more, "Calleigh," she reached out and touched her hand.

Calleigh withdrew fairly quickly, "I'm not sure if I can do it," she paused, "Have children."

Alexx smiled, "You'll be a great mother some day, Calleigh."

Salty tears clouded Calleigh's vision. Calleigh bit her lip trying to fight them all back, ashamed, she looked back up at Alexx, "I think I'm damaged," Alexx looked at her with a blank expression. A few seconds passed then it clicked.

Alexx leaned back in the booth and covered her mouth with her hand. The news of Calleigh possibly not being able to have a child made her heart ache for the younger woman, "Oh Calleigh," she knew Calleigh wouldn't want pity. It wasn't in Calleigh's DNA to have a pity party.

"I'm worried about Eric," her breath hitched a bit, "He wants kids so much."

Alexx's gaze softened, "Tell him."

That would be hard.

…

Lila didn't know what she was doing.

She was being Nirvana McAlister…or in France going by the name of Lila McAlister.

She was stopped at the red light, her car's engine roared when she hit the accelerator with her other pedal still on the brake pedal. She was waiting. Patiently. When the light turned green, she picked herself off the brake and let herself go. The car moved forward with such speed and grace. She controlled it well before she quickly made a U-turn towards the crime lab.

She passed many civilians who raised their eyebrows and gave her strange looks. Many 'car geeks' stood on the street corner pointing at her car. To her it was just a car. Where she lived she could get plenty of them.

With agility, she pulled the car into the crime lab lot and once more hit the pedal down. The car roared and lurched forward. Many police officers turned in her direction about ready to get in their own vehicles and chase after her when she pulled up to the curb. She pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened the door. Officers ran to her with their guns drawn.

She pulled out a paper and held it out to them. One of the lead officers stopped and plucked it hastily from her hands. He read over the document and then looked back up at him. She smiled at him sweetly before he handed it back to her and ordered commands to his underlings.

She sort of had immunity.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw Ryan sitting on the steps with his head in his hands. His fingers were combing through his hair as he wondered what he was going to do. Lila moved quickly towards him, not quite running. She stopped in front of him and leaned down to his level. He looked up hesitantly towards her.

He was about to open his mouth and say something most-likely stupid before she pressed her lips over his in a mind-numbing kiss. He wound his arms around her hips pulling her into him. She wrapped her smaller arms around his neck and leaned more into him. He combed one of his hands through her silky dark locks.

She pulled away from him slowly, her lips still brushing over his softly, her eyes had such never-ending love in them, it made him almost lose all control…in front of the crime lab.

"I love you…

…and I'll love you forever."

…

Calleigh drove through the streets cautiously. Sure, she 'drives like a mad woman' but she's still cautious when five o' clock comes around. Her fingers drummed the steering wheel as she watched the cars weave in and out around her. She then turned her attention to a sound. It sounded like a purr. A purr of something extremely powerful. She turned her head to see Ryan in the driver's….passenger's side. Calleigh looked into it to see him talking to Nirvana. She looked closer to see the two holding hands while she drove with her right hand. Nirvana smiled at Ryan before the car sped away.

Calleigh decided against spending more time than necessary in the traffic and started to regain her 'mad woman driving skills' status. She smiled at the fresh memory.

She pulled into her parking place beside Eric's car. She cut the engine and waited a few seconds before she grasped her purse and entered the condo quickly. Eric was sitting in the living room watching TV. Most likely one of those weird comedies.

She set her purse down on a nearby table and made her way to him, "Hey!" he smiled up at her. She nodded and sat down beside him. It had been a long day.

"Is something wrong?" he held her close to his body.

She looked up at him and shook her head, he frowned, "Cal."

She buried her head in his chest, "I'm not sure if I can have children, Eric," her voice was muffled from the fabric of his shirt. For a second he sat stiff. Unmoving.

"I'm so sorry Eric," she moved off of him, her eyes were shimmering with tears. Fresh salty tears. He watched as they ran down her face and dropped onto his shirt. She bit her lip, but she couldn't contain the next sob that wracked throughout her whole body sending spasms up her spine.

"I'm sorry."

...

"Marry me."

Lila's hand stopped at the button on his jeans and looked up at him, "What?" her eyes were filled with confusion, "Ryan," her voice was soft.

He reached down and picked up her delicate soft hand and held it up to his face. He pressed a soft kiss on her knuckle, "Marry me Lila," her breath hitched in her throat.

"I ca-," his gaze became filled with pain.

Lila pushed away from him and looked around for her shirt, "Ryan…" she stopped picking up her shirt and pulling it over her head, "I can't get married," Ryan's puzzled and hurt gaze pierced through her, "I can't risk that," her voice cracked.

"Lila, I've known you for six years, we've been planning on getting married for a little over two," he stopped, "What's changed?"

She pulled her jacket back over her shoulders, "My job," she straightened her jacket out and turned to him.

He took a step towards her, "You just told me that you loved me," she knew she had. She would never take that back, "Now you're saying you won't allow me to love you back."

She shook her head, "No, it's not like that," she moved into a corner, she didn't realize she was there until her back hit it straight on. She gasped at the sudden impact.

He grabbed her shoulders and moved himself into her face, "Then why," he said it more as a statement than anything else. She looked into his eyes, his wonderful hazel gaze.

"You could die," he seemed taken aback, "My job could kill one of us, probably you, then I'll have to live with it."

He sighed and moved away from her, "Lila," he ran his hand through is hair, "We're officers of the law, we could die anytime," he hated saying this, but he knew it was true. He and everyone else who worked as a government official knew they could die anytime they go out to a scene.

She shook her head, "Not my other job," what other job, "Almost no one collects their retirement!" her accent became more pronounced, "My boss doesn't want me to be in a relationship…for the spouse's safety."

He stepped closer to her, "I don't care," he pulled her to him and held her close to him. He wanted to never let her go, "Marry me."

He felt her spasm under him; a sob came from her mouth. He held her closer to him as her smaller hand held onto him. He combed his hand once more through her wavy locks before he felt her look up. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"Yes."

Then he kissed her.

Yes, Nirvana/Lila sort of has multiple personalities. I had to put some Ryan/Lila fluff in there and more of a plot twister with her 'job'. Calleigh/Eric angst was certainly present.

Now I'm going to sleep. (Again another sleep deprived-written chapter)

I actually almost started writing this in French.

Review please

Leigha