Thursday May the 19th was the penultimate day of classes. Lexa would be giving her valedictorian speech in exactly 24 days. She had just finished crossing off another number on her calendar separating her from her big day, when her phone rang; the principal's secretary, asking to see her upon her arrival at school. Something to do with graduation. Lexa tried to swallow the lump that instantly formed in her throat. She couldn't lose the honor bestowed upon her; that speech was the only thing she had been living for for the past ten days.
With a heavy heart and heavier steps, Lexa made her way to the principal's office like a dead man walking. The chic-as-usual woman perked up noticeably at the sight of her favorite student. The brunette, back to her old self, was as unresponsive as ever. So the principal recited her tirade uninterrupted.
"My dear girl! To think this will be the last time I call you to my office! I wish it were for a less… touchy matter, but I'm afraid I have yet another favor to ask you. You did so well with the last one! Clarke's grades have gone up drastically. And coincidentally, she's been getting into much less trouble lately! That is when she was still attending school… As I'm sure you're aware, your friend has been staying by Ms. Rayes' side, nursing her back to health, so to speak. They've been studying together… I was actually surprised to learn you haven't tutored her since Raven's accident. Clarke told me you've been too busy preparing your novitiate? following a life-changing religious retreat? I hope she was kidding… You're way too young, with a bright future ahead of you… But I digress. The reason I asked to see you is, the school would like to show Raven our support, to salute her courage during the hard times she's going through. Originally, we thought we could ask her to give the end-of-year speech—not to worry, we wouldn't dream of asking you to give up what's rightfully yours. We just thought you could give it together. Unfortunately, Raven won't be well enough to go out in public by mid-June, so she won't attend her graduation. Nevertheless, her friend and current nurse will! Since you two have become close, you wouldn't mind sharing the valedictorian speech with Clarke, would you? Raven would see it live on her computer screen! It's the least we can do for the girl… Don't you think?"
Of course she was meant to share her newly appointed special moment with Clarke. Ever since she entered her life, the blonde always ended up being involved in all of Lexa's landmarks… She wasn't even surprised at the current turn of events. With a nod and the smallest of smiles, she agreed to come together with her ex-pupil one last time.
Over the past ten days, Clarke had her hands full tending to Raven while trying her best to pass chemistry, and the rest of her classes, without even attending any of them. Luckily for her, the principal was taking her friend's ordeal to heart and provided both of them with their own chemistry teacher, a young undergrad who had his sight set on teaching at their high school one day. But no amount of work could occupy her enough to forget her vow; she was out for Lexa's blood, and was calmly plotting her vengeance. She had decided she would strike during graduation: the treacherous girl had made it abundantly clear how strongly she felt about her valedictorian speech. Though not exactly looking forward to it, Lexa didn't take the responsibility lightly. After agreeing to it, she had been writing the speech for months, often running new versions by Clarke, obsessing over her performance, even taking online enunciation courses to ensure it all went perfectly. Clarke couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to hurt Lexa. All she needed for her devious plan to work was a buff simpleton to "kidnap" Lexa and lock her in the girls' bathroom minutes before her big moment, thus making her miss it. The hulky guy—she had settled on Roan, a senior for three years now whose stature rivaled that of WWE wrestlers—would also steal the cold-hearted harpy's speech so that Clarke herself could give it instead, while she watched helplessly from the sidelines. It was the cruelest plan she could devise; exactly what Lexa deserved.
Friday morning—23 days until graduation, Clarke thought as she crossed off another day standing between her and justice—she got a call informing her that the principal needed to see her. She really didn't feel like going to school, especially not on the last day of classes, which was bound to be nostalgic and festive; she didn't feel like being either. But she couldn't turn down the gracious woman who had helped Raven and her so much. She took her time getting ready though, hoping she would get there late enough that everyone would already be in class. Then she wouldn't have to run into anyone; namely, a heartless brunette who had ripped her open and left her for dead without so much as a word. 23 days to go, she reminded herself, so that the thought of her day of reckoning, for which she had been living since "the incident", would wash away those of warm eyes and warmer embraces from another lifetime.
Lexa felt horrible about missing her last French class of the year—ever. But she couldn't risk her plan going south; couldn't trust that brute Roan whom she had asked to accost Clarke and escort her to the girls' bathroom, unharmed. She had insisted on that point, since Roan seemed anything but gentle; yet Lexa couldn't think of anyone else to get the job done. She knew Clarke wouldn't come easily. And she needed to talk to her before her former friend met with the principal and turned down her proposition, like Lexa was sure she would. What had transpired between them was done; it was ancient history. People grow apart, friendships end. Lexa just did what was best for her. She let her head decide, not her heart. She trusted Clarke was aware of all of that, and harbored no hard feelings toward her. However, Lexa suspected the other girl wouldn't want to be around her, or share anything with her; Clarke had always been one to let her feelings cloud her judgment. But Raven deserved this recognition. She wouldn't let Clarke's stubbornness and self-entitlement stand in the way of that. So she did what she thought best: she asked the class bully to bring her Clarke, so she could reason with her and get her to cooperate. And now here she was, in the girls' bathroom, antsy and fidgeting, waiting for the delivery to be dropped off. Long, endless minutes later, the door flung open and Roan put down a screaming blonde mass he had been carrying over his shoulder before ironically bowing to Lexa and exiting the war zone.
When her feet first hit the floor, Clarke seemed disoriented. Her earlier shouting subsided, and she was left looking at Lexa in disbelief. Before she could regain her composure, and probably start screaming again, Lexa approached her disheveled classmate, and for the lack of better words, greeted her with a "Hello Clarke." After a brief pause, during which the blonde was still frozen, and looking at her with haggard eyes, she felt she should get to it, and not waste any time with unnecessary small talk.
"I am sorry. That it had to be this way. Madam principal told me we would be giving the valedictorian speech together. For Raven's sake. This is important, Clarke. I need you."
The last word seemed to register with Clarke who, in the blink of an eye, lunged at Lexa and before the astounded girl knew what hit her, a bestial form of her former friend had one hand around her throat as the other reached for her backpack. The shrieks coming out of her resembled a war cry, and her eyes were those of a madwoman. Without loosening her grip, Clarke pried the backpack open then reached for a stack of neatly folded papers with her teeth before throwing the bag against the wall. The violent sound made Lexa jump, which only served to egg Clarke on further. She let go of her victim's bruised neck and took a few steps toward the nearest stall. Kicking it open, she went inside, and out of Lexa's field of vision. Fearing the worst, the brunette followed her. As soon as their eyes locked, Clarke let out a screeching laugh that chilled Lexa to the bone.
"Good old predictable Commander. Writing her precious speech instead of typing it. I bet this is the only copy you've got, isn't it? You old-fashioned idiot! Sentimental only when it comes to your dumbass meaningless writing! I think I'll just flush these perfect little words down the toilet! Then you'll be left with nothing; just like me!"
Then she started laughing again. Her eyes though, told another story. They were imbued with unshed tears, and in them, Lexa could see the Clarke she knew, trapped inside, begging for her help. Seeing the strong, healthy, happy girl, come undone before her, shattered Lexa's defenses. For the first time since their last encounter at the convent, realization hit her all at once. She had hurt her friend; more than she could've thought possible. Nothing she could say or do could take that back. She would have to live with it. But she couldn't let the other girl self-destruct in an attempt to get back at her. Lexa would do it for her; she would punish herself like she used to do as a little girl—not to get Clarke's attention, but to show her how sorry she really was. She had to make things right. She was feeling like she was losing her best friend all over again. It hurt. She let it. It was her penance. Furthermore, she would walk out on the two things she wanted the most. Before doing so, her eyes, turning apologetic, willed Clarke to listen to her.
"I am sorry. I never meant to turn you into this. The speech is yours. I will let the principal know that I am bowing out. I will have a printed out copy of what I prepared sent to you post-haste."
Her look told her lost friend all the rest; what she couldn't say, what she had to conceal, even from herself: the regret, the longing, and something else she couldn't yet formulate into words, for she had no frame of reference for it. Then she willed her feet to walk away from a now crying and howling Clarke who had crumbled on the bathroom floor. Things would get better for her with time, and with the knowledge that Lexa was hurting, too.