39

Everything is bathed in the red glow, and we are all but spectators as the Chantry is reduced to ashes in mere seconds. All the planning all the lies...it is time to make the world change forcefully. There is yelling, arguing and Fenris leaves Issac's side. I assumed as much would happen. Gone is any trace that mirth ever crossed my loves face for all that is written upon it is horror and anger. The end comes. We don't regret this, we did what we had to do...I just wish that he had stayed away...heeded my warnings. And now he will take the final Justice into his own hands. Our blood spilled for what we have done. We await his approach when the cries of dying Templars cease. The heavy foot steeps and the familiar shadow of the large warrior. I hear his ragged breaths and I know he wants to know why...The Chantry puppet calls for my death. Strike me Issac...my love...you know you must...There is a feral growl...but nor directed at me as I suspected...Issac...

"You will not touch him do you hear me! If you harm him I will rip your head clean from your spine." Sebastian takes a step back. The prince makes a wise decision and declines to engage Issac in combat. He swears to return and kill me but I care not. It is the pain in Issac's eyes I feel. I have no love for Sebastian or what he stands for in defending the Chanty's systematic oppression...but Issac had an odd fondness for the man I didn't understand. I remember Sebastian taught him the basics of archery and Issac took up hunting in the countryside with his dog Chester for sport...Here on this spot as the world crumbles around me the most vivid thing in my mind is the memory of Issac grinning ear to ear holding a pheasant in each hand. I am nauseated with the feeling that he may never smile like that again...I wish to know no more...I silently beg of him to end this... "Get up." It is a simple command and a hand offered...

"You want me to...?" I don't understand him...this...he is supposed to be the one who kills me, to absolve himself from my crimes, to let me face the Justice I deserve for the deaths of so many others. Instead his gaze is hard as steel and his jaw set firm.

"I want you to fight dammit. You started this war now you fight in it!" Perhaps I was meant to find death some other day...our work may not yet be done.

"You want me to fight...Damn right I will." I take his hand but it is not a warm gesture as he swiftly pulls me up to my feet and lets go.

"Now let's go." He hisses making clear he is none to pleased with what has transpired this day. I doubt anyone is...I didn't want this to happen, but it had to happen...I tried love...I tried to give them every chance to listen, to change but they ignored and aided in our pain and our suffering for too long.

…..

"You shouldn't stay with me...we will be hunted...hated everywhere we go." His last warning...

"I will stay with you." he offers me no emotion, and I deserve to feel his wrath, his anger, but instead he leaves me with a sad and empty feeling in my heart. Does he still love me? How can he still love me after...what does that even matter...all that matters is the events that will unfold from this point forward...but I still hold on to the human emotions Justice wanted me rid of long ago...

….

Fenris is too blind to stop...If he would just see how the mages here have been treated...a few words from Issac I know could sway him...but it is too late and Issac is too stubborn...These two had been friends...close...and I know I saw something pass between them after Issac had slain the Arishok. In the carnage before me I see the truth...I am a monster for twisting and corrupting Justice, Fenris is a monster letting his hate control his actions, and Issac is a monster of my own making as rage fills his eyes and his nostrils flare. He does this to protect me...to save me...and I am worth nothing. Steel strikes steel as the two warriors come to blows. I don't want this...Issac takes the hilt of Fenris' great-sword to his face...I never wanted him to have to...Issac bashes the elf with his shield knocking him off balance...I want this to stop...Issac's axe sinks into Fenris' leg and the elf retaliates with a savage blow to Issac's arm. Issac is able to block it but it leaves him open for Fenris to use a free hand to punch him hard in the face. The blood streaming down from his face emboldens Issac's rage and he rams into Fenris head first. They tussle on the ground and I am motionless, to afraid to step in...to do anything but watch...Issac has the axe...don't...I hear the loud thunk as it finds its mark in the chest of the elf...Issac stands.

….

He speaks little once we flee Kirkwall. A few directions for the other members of our crew but nothing to me...He should have ended it...he should have...then he wouldn't have had me to protect he wouldn't have killed...Bethany had fled with us and she puts an uneasy arm around her brother...at least he will have family...maybe one day he may smile again.

He judges we are far enough away to get a short rest, a fire is conjured by either Bethany or Merrill...but my eyes don't leave him. Issac turns his back and lays down. I have ruined him, of this I am sure.

….

The fire is but small embers left casting what glow they can on my companions. They stayed true to him...Varric, Merrill, Isabela, Bethany, Aveline and her husband Donnic. They all sleep uneasy as I rise from the spot where I had been sitting and observing. The cliffs on the wounded coast...how the breeze blows my hair out of place...I tuck the strand back behind my ear and think of a happier time I spent with Issac around a similar campfire where we both bumbled with our emotions like fools...we were such fools. I approach the cliff side and look down at the waves crashing into the rocks below...I think of all these things that we've...no...I've done...and I wonder one last time if I should take the leap.