a/n: Love me, feedback for me, never leave me?

Chapter 37: By moon and starlight

-Sam-

Fleas are freaking weird creatures?! Seriously??

Oh my god, I should have just let Carmi gut me ages ago. It would have saved me all the trauma that I am very clearly going to get from this little tête-à-tête. I could have gone down fighting, and with dignity, but no, I get to die from abject humiliation. How very glorious.

I wait for the inevitable eye-roll or exasperated sigh, but it doesn't come.

Bugger.

I stare at him and open my mouth to say something, anything to stem the flow of painful, gut-wrenching awkwardness between us, but I can't. So I close my mouth and look at the floor, in the hopes that it'll somehow tell me what I'm supposed to do to make this all go away. I'm a little out of my depth here. I'm not used to being met by cold, stony silence. At least, not from Legolas. It's just...not the way things roll. Legolas always has a reaction, whatever insane antic I pull, he always has something to say and his silence shakes me to my core.

"Hey, so I was in the neighborhood right? And I was thinking to myself, 'I haven't seen my good friend Twinkletoes in a while, I wonder how he's doing?' so I figured I'd come by and see how you were...y'know doing." Oh my giddy aunt, why am I still talking? I am met by, if possible, even stonier silence. We all know what my reflexive reaction to silence is, don't we kids? Oh boy. "It wasn't until I reached your door that I realized that the reason I didn't know how you were doing was because…"

"Sam," he massages the bridge of his nose in a defeated manner. "What are you doing?"

This elicits a shrug from me. Hell if I knew the answer to that question, we wouldn't be standing here like dolts. "I don't know." I answer honestly. "I just-Aragorn wanted me to talk to you, before you left."

Shoot me now.

"Oddly enough, that does not surprise me." He tells me, leaning back on the wall and folding his arms across his chest. He regards me briefly before continuing. "You are not known for your skill at handling awkward confrontations, and Elessar, on his part, is renowned for his fondness of meddling with other people's lives."

Right, okay, I deserved that. And now he thinks I don't even have the guts to come here and talk to him of my own volition.

"I actually didn't want to talk to you, to be honest." Oh sweet lord Sam, stop talking. "I knew the last thing you'd want to see is my face, but I wanted to apologize. I at least, owed you that much."

His blue eyes are as cold and hard as Caradhras and I have to take a minute to rein in the overwhelming urge to shout at him and tell him to stop being an asshole.

How could I, when I was an asshole first?

"I'm sorry, for everything." I shoulder on. "I know you may not think that's worth much, but please know that I mean it. I was cruel and a bitch and I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm not asking you to accept my apology or anything like that; I just thought you should know that I'm sorry and that I miss you, however much you might hate my guts right now."

He nods at me, a small, bleak gesture that told me my apology was accepted. "I do not hate you, Sam." He says quietly. "I do not believe I ever can."

OoO

In our thundering herd, we feel a lot like cattle.

There are times when I love Disney, and then there are times like this when I want to randomly burst into song, that I feel that it's completely ruined me for life. Granted, 'A girl worth fighting for' isn't used in the proper context here but the point still stands.

I actually do feel like I'm a bovine being harshly marched into pasture. Why yes, it is absurdly early in the morning, why do you ask? I really don't think anyone should be surprised that I am grumbly and unfit for human association, since it should be a well established fact that I don't start properly functioning until after lunch. Second luncheon if we're going by hobbit standards.

"You really need to work on being a morning person." Someone from the vicinity of my hip tells me thickly. I look down and see Pippin trying to speak through a large bun. I resist the urge to laugh. I fail.

"Mornings would be better," I tell him disdainfully as we march along the grassy slopes. "If they occurred in the afternoon, or just stopped existing altogether."

"That is the most inane thing I've heard in my entire life." He declares, pulling a face.

"So?"

He gets this look that tells me he's contemplating kicking some sense into me, and then decides against it and shrugs like I'm not even worth the effort. Yes, Peregrin Took thinks I'm so batshit that he doesn't even believe I'm worth kicking a modicum of sense into.

Awesome.

OoO

Oh dinner, you are the sweetest part of my day.

We've made good time. It'll probably take us a week tops to get to the gap of Rohan, which means a week tops to say my goodbyes to all the friends I've made. It's sad, I know, but it must be done.

I'm not even going to think about what's waiting for me back in Minas Tirith. Which is, basically, a big hunk of nothing. I'm trying this new thing, you see, where I try not to make my life seem bleaker than it is.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

The hobbits are already at the very front of the line, their bowls held towards Erothon who is looking at them in amusement. I take a seat by the fire and put my face in my hands, willing to wait until the little people are done getting nourishment. They're gonna be a while, so I might as well get comfortable.

"Hullo, broody." A bowl of food materializes in front of me.

"Hello, bowl of food. How'd you get way over here?" I ask it cheerfully. The person who proffered the bowl huffs indignantly and I look up to find Baerlad towering above me, with a friend in tow. Baerlad is one of the more unfortunate rangers who fate always seems to throw me together with. I nearly bit his head off while he helped out in the kitchens on the corsair ships, and we defended each other pretty well during the Battle of the Black Gate.

"Of course the bowl of food would get a greeting." He complains sullenly sitting down on a log a little ways away.

I grin at this. "Well, hello to you too, Baerlad." I snatch the bowl from him. He did offer, after all. This seems to make him happy, and I roll my eyes. My gaze shifts from him to his still standing friend and I quirk a curious eyebrow. "Who's your friend?"

Baerlad turns and regards his friend in a way that makes me wonder if he's even aware he'd brought someone, and then smiles. "My Lady, this is my friend Alared, son of Alagonthur."

I wave and smile. "Nice to meet you Alared, my name is Sam."

He takes the seat right next to mine, making me blink in surprise at his forwardness. The men here are usually so reserved, and I've gotten used to being treated at arms' length, whether because I'm a woman and I make them nervous, or because I'm a woman and must be treated accordingly.

"Baerlad says you were among those who fought during at the Black Gate." He states, his expression clearly unconvinced. "Does he speak the truth?"

I look over at Baerlad who shrugs and shakes his head in apology for his friend's behavior. "I was there, yes." I answer curtly, turning to my food. I hope he gets the message and realizes that I have no further intention of talking to him, but alas, today is not my day.

"Why were you there?" he demands, the indignation barely hidden. "War is not the place of women, is it?"

I can't believe I've gone through all that war and bullshit and I still have to contend with assholes like this. Jesus, can't a girl catch a break?

I clear my throat and lower the bowl to the ground. I turn towards Alared, taking in his long, dark hair and his aquiline nose and full, rosy lips. He looked to be only a little older than I was, which made this both more annoying and more understandable. I smiled sweetly at him, ignoring the way Baerlad shook his head in the background. "Stupidity is the province of men, isn't it? Tell me Alared, did you fight in the last war?"

He sort of shrinks into himself at this. "No, I was in the Houses of Healing, nursing a broken arm." He puffs out his chest and adds, defensively. "But I was present during the siege of Pelennor!"

I roll my eyes, visibly. It makes him turn an alarming shade of red. "Sure you were." I say with a non-committal shrug. "Either way, you've got no grounds to belittle my gender when I was in both of those battles and probably killed more baddies than you've seen in your entire life."

He opens his mouth to say something more, but Baerlad claps him on the shoulder and tugs him away. "Enough, Alared; give the lady some space. You have overstepped your bounds." He says looking superbly disdainful.

I grin at him. "Apologize. Now."

"My sincerest apologies, milady." He bites out, not looking very sincere at all. My smile is still sweet as sugar as I look at him.

"No big deal." I answer trying to be gracious, but it still slips out. "Oh, by the way, you suck."

Baerlad has enough sense to pull him away before he works out the possible meaning of my words. People are learning. Hallelujah.

OoO

The tent-building process is such a fascinating thing. It's like clockwork; the food goes down and the tents go up. People start busting out the ale and songs are sung. It's absolutely amazing and rustic and just…wow.

I am sitting by the fire, just about ready to turn in for the night when a hand taps me on the shoulder and I look up to see an Elrondion beaming down at me. "Hi." I greet enthusiastically, making my way to my feet.

"Walk with me, little one." He invites, offering an arm. "The stars are shining exceptionally bright tonight."

Elrohir. This is Elrohir. Elladan would have made a lewd sexual joke before going sentimental.

I take Elrohir's arm and we make our way out into the night, away from the encampment. The sound of music and merry-making strains after us, and a smile is on my lips as I look up at the sky. "You're right; the stars do look beautiful tonight." I agree, giving his arm a squeeze.

"Aye, Earendil shines proudly upon us all." He leads me over to a large boulder and clambers on top of it. He regards me seriously, the moonlight shining off of his beautiful face. "Haldir has informed us of your ill mood of late, little one. We have been quite worried."

I frown at this. Once again, Hal's meddling has put me in an uncomfortable position. I am seriously going to cause him some serious, grievous harm if this doesn't let up.

"I'm fine, Elrohir." I say, feeling like a broken record. "I'm just a little sad because a lot of friends are leaving, and I won't see them for a long time. That's it, I swear. I've made peace with Legolas and I assure you, I'm perfectly alright."

"Are you really?" he asks, sliding down from the rock to look me in the eye. I would punch him if he weren't you know…Elrohir.

I let out a frustrated groan. I am just about to rip into Elrohir when a rustling sounds from somewhere on the other side of the rock and we both turn to investigate.

Elladan comes forward, a devilish grin on his face. "Well, hello Sam! Fancy running into you out here, in the wilderness where anything can happen; a curious happenstance, no?"

I stare at him like he's insane. "Elladan, didn't I tell you not to cut into the sugar without me?"

He laughs jovially. "Oh no, this is not me on sugar, by any means, little one."

A heady feeling of dread starts to come over me, as I look from Elladan to Elrohir who has left my side to stand by his twin, both of them bearing identical grins of pure, unadulterated evil.

"Right." I say, holding up two hands and backing away from the two peredhil slowly. When encountering wild, crazy animals, it's best to make no sudden movements. "I think I've had enough starlight for one night, so I'm just going to head back to camp and hit the hay."

They step closer. Crap. My back-away-slowly plan isn't working. "Right, okay, see you!" I shout making a break for it.

I haven't even reached five feet before Elladan's got me by the waist and Elrohir has me in a leg-lock. Son of a bitch. "What the hell, you guys?" I scream, trying to flail out a limb in a kick. Elladan responds by tickling me and together, they bring me to a tent.

I am so confused, I am seriously contemplating breaking their faces. "I am so going to get back at you for this." I seethe as I am thrown into the tent.

"One day, you shall thank us, ai er." Elladan says smugly. "Both of you."

With that, I am left in a tent in the middle of the wilderness with the one and only Twinkletoes.

Fuck my life.

a/n: I apologize for the delay. I've had this written for like a month but my laptop died and I just managed to resurrect it long enough to retrieve my documents. So yeah, ilu guys, review?