Chapter 19

I'd been keeping my eye on Tanik from the moment he returned shortly before lights-out last night, and Cloud was right—something was off. Tanik had increasingly struck me as slightly jumpy since the first day, but now there was something more to it that I hadn't noticed until Cloud mentioned it.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself," I replied, snapping out of my thoughts as I turned to look at Hayden.

He gave me a look. "Stressing out about it isn't going to solve anything. Just…go with the flow. We'll figure something out."

As he walked to his spot in the History of Midgar classroom, I realized that he'd been referring to my swimming dilemma, not Tanik.

Either way, it was sound advice.

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Today was the last day of the schedule we'd had since we joined—firearms and side-handle batons would replace the History of Midgar and Study Hall starting tomorrow, and after we finished swimming, Training would contain far more intense workouts. I was confident I'd aced the History of Midgar test earlier today and was happy that the class was over, but I still hadn't solved the swimming problem.

And it started tomorrow.

Don't stress out. You need to pass whatever today's weapon is, I scolded myself as we entered Training and started the workout by running laps en masse. Enjoy the run. You'll figure something out.

If only it weren't so difficult to enjoy two hours of running around the Gym Level...

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"Who wants to learn how to throw knives?"

I slowed to a stop, breathing heavily. It's over. I loved running, but doing so while pretending to be a guy was torture—especially for two hours. It was becoming less painful, but I was still working muscles I hadn't known existed.

I made my way towards the instructor and ended up in the back between Tanik and Jake. I glanced over at Tanik, about to ask him if he could see the front, but there was something in his expression that kept me from saying anything.

"This is how knives are stored." I looked back to the front to see the Training instructor holding a sheathed knife in front of him. "The sheath prevents it from getting scratched, dulled, or rusted while also protecting your boot or whatever else you might have it in. You pull it out of the sheath like so." He grasped the handle with his free hand and separated the two in one fluid motion. The newly unsheathed blade caught the light, and I couldn't help but marvel at the deadly grace and elegance the clean steel carried with it.

I glanced at Tanik, who had voted sword in our impromptu discussion on the first day. I bet he's— I frowned.

He looked like he was in the last place he wanted to be.

I nudged Jake and indicated Tanik with a slight head movement. Jake frowned and gave me a questioning look. I shrugged slightly in response, stomach tightening slightly, and listened to what the Training instructor was saying.

"When I go to throw it, I want to make sure my elbow is level with my shoulder and my hand is slightly farther back. I bring my arm forward and let the knife slip out of my hand when my arm is extended and my hand is in front of me." He demonstrated in slow-motion without releasing the knife before turning and drilling us with his eyes. "Always follow through." He turned back to the target. "We're all going to stay behind this line so no one can get hit..."

I glanced over at Tanik again. He still didn't look so great.

What's up with him? He's never acted like this before when we've used real weapons...

"And now, I'm going to throw four knives to demonstrate how it all comes together." He lifted the knife and stepped forward as he brought his arm down. The knife impacted the wooden target across the room with a solid thunk.

I heard quickened breathing next to me and looked at Tanik. He is not okay, I thought, my stomach contracting.

Thunk.

Tanik's eyes widened.

"Tanik?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm as I felt blood pulsating behind my ears.

He started slightly, as if snapping back to reality after a daydream.

Thunk.

His expression completely blanked as his breathing abruptly normalized.

My stomach kneaded itself. "Tanik?" I waved a hand in front of his face. No response.

"What's going on?" Jake asked as the people in front of us glanced behind them.

Tanik hates attention. My mouth dried. "I don't know." My voice raised in pitch and volume. I couldn't stop it. I waved again, faster. "Tanik?"

"What's wrong with him?" "Ssh—"

"Is everything all right back there?"

"No, sir." Jake's voice was almost calm.

I ripped my gaze off of Tanik. The Training instructor was dropping the last knife into the bin and heading towards us, the barracks parting for him. Everyone was staring.

Tanik was going to kill me later.

"What's the problem?"

"Tanik." Breathless squeak. Total girl.

"He didn't look that good during the talk, and…this happened during the demonstration." Jake could still talk.

The instructor looked at Tanik and turned to the rest of the barracks. "Go to the far end of the gym. I want a three-minute plank, fifty push-ups, and a hundred squats from everyone. Go."

Part of me wanted to leave. Part of me wanted to help.

"Come on, Dustin."

I forced myself to follow Jake. Everyone else had obeyed right away and was heading towards the far end as one.

Hayden hung back and walked with us. "What happened?"

I didn't know if my voice was under control again or not. Jake answered for me. "I don't really know. It's as if Tanik completely spaced out."

Hayden gave me a questioning look. I shrugged helplessly, not bothering to mask my worry. He'd be able to tell anyway. "It happened while the instructor threw the knives," I said in a lower voice than necessary.

While the instructor threw the knives.

I stopped in my tracks.

Tanik's had weird space-out moments like that before—in reference to his home.

"He's in some kind of trouble but can't say anything about it."

He doesn't talk about his life before Shinra.

"Who says anything happened?!"

He ran away.

"I hope she never knows. She'll tell him."

"Dustin?"

I snapped out of my terrifying thoughts to see Hayden and Jake giving me concerned looks. My stomach wouldn't untwist. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

I could tell them. They could tell me I was wrong.

Part of me knew I wasn't.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I took the lead in rejoining the others, trying desperately to leave my thoughts behind.

Physical activity would help. It had to. I didn't want to go where my thoughts were taking me.

Since I won't update until it's 2014, Happy Christmas and New Year! (Sorry, no one-shots this year; I'm far too busy.) Please favourite, review, etc., and when it comes to spoiler-related things...you know where the PM button is. :)

I hope you enjoyed it!

- Kat