TRIS

Walking in my brother and Christina wasn't exactly how I had planned to start my morning. Okay, so technically speaking we didn't exactly walk in on them, but it was close enough. Sure it's not like it was my first time seeing Christina with no pants on, she had been very open with her body when were initiates and had no problem changing in front of everyone. But this is different. Because this time the lack of pants means something else had gone on inside of this house. And it makes me shudder. Not that I'm a prude or that I'm uncomfortable with sex, Tobias and I have experimented enough for me to know that I'm not uncomfortable but the fact that it was Christina...and my brother. Tobias and I are waiting at the dining room table waiting for Caleb and Christina to get dressed and I look at him and make a face. Tobias chuckles at me and reaches over to take my hand. He brings it up to his lips and kisses it before setting it down on the table. I smile at him and then when I see his face, I regret the motion.

"What's wrong with that?" he asks gesturing toward the stairs.

"Nothing," I say, shaking my head, maybe a little too quickly. "It's just..."

"Didn't we already say that it would be good...for the both of them?" he raises his eyebrows at me. "I think I remember having that conversation."

I swat his hand. "I know that it's good for the both of them," I say. "And I'm completely fine with it. I just...they're having sex."

I say the last part in kind of a whisper and I realize that I do sound like a prude and Tobias is now staring at me like I've starting talking gibberish. I don't blame him. I sound certifiably insane and given how he and I had spent our few days in the city on our last visit, like a complete hypocrite.

"Are you serious." It isn't even a question. And he doesn't have a hint of a smile on his face, so I know for sure that he's judging me. Hell, I'd be judging me too.

"First off," he says setting his elbows on the table and leaning in so that he can speak in a low voice to me. "They might not even be having sex. Maybe it was hot in the house and she didn't wear pants to bed."

I stare right back at him. "You do realize that there's snow on the ground outside, right?"

He opens his mouth to rebut but then after a second closes it again because he realizes that even with the working heater, it still gets pretty cold in the house. The only way I was able to stay warm when we were here was to sleep against Tobias. And we were both naked. I cringe, because I don't want to think about what they had to do to stay warm. I shake my head.

"Imagery?" he asks.

I nod and make a face. "It's your fault," I tell him shaking my head. I laugh to myself before bringing my hands up to cover my face. "You're going to have to make that up to me later."

He chuckles and I peek at him. He reaches out to take my hand and leans over to kiss me. I kiss him back, because I can't really fight him on it, and I wouldn't want to anyway. I reach out to touch the side of his face, deepening the kiss and pull away when I hear my brother clear his throat. I look at them. Christina is standing next to him, grinning.

"Don't' stop on our account," she says teasingly. "I'm all for a show."

Caleb look at her and she bites her lip. "No show," he says before moving to sit down with us. "What's up?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I feel weird," I admit. "Being back…everything's so different and strange….and I just wanted to see you guys for something familiar…something, normal."

"This is far from normal," Christina says. Always the Candor, which is what I definitely love about her. She'll always tell us the truth.

"I know. I just…"

She nods. "I know," she says softly. "Just trying to find something to connect to?"

"Yeah." I smile at her and then look over at Caleb. "Speaking of connecting…"

The Erudite in Caleb looks curious. "What's on your mind?"

"I want to go through our parents' room," I say. "See if there's anything there to find of mom's old life. Anything from before."

He looks at me for a minute, not saying anything, so I wonder if I've stepped over any boundaries and he looks at me. I bite my lip and glance at Tobias out of the corner of my eye and he's also watching my brother. Caleb takes a breath and then he smiles and I smile with him.

"Yeah," he says. "That's a good idea. Great idea, actually."

I scoot back in the chair and stand up wiping my hands on my pants before taking a breath. "Then shall we?"

He nods and I look at Tobias and press my lips to his head before heading upstairs with Caleb in tow to our parents' room. Caleb and I had never been extremely close, despite are closeness in age. We were just two siblings who looked out for each other. He looked out for other people more than himself and that was always something that I wished I could have done. If I could go back I would change the way I felt I about Abnegation. It may have been one of my choices during the Aptitude test, but I never felt like I truly belonged there. Which is why I chose to leave. I had never belonged in Abnegation and I think that a part of me had always believed that. Caleb had always looked out for me, but since everything had happened…it was like I was the adult. I had taken charge and tried to take care of others now. I may not believe that I belong in Abnegation, but it will still be a part of me. Deep down…somewhere.

I stop in front of their closed door and take a breath before pushing it open. I'm hit with the scent of my parents and it almost knocks me to my knees. I put a hand on the wall and Caleb reaches out to catch my balance. I shake my head. "I'm okay," I tell him waving him off. I stand up straight and run my fingers through my hair and walk over to their closet. I pull the door open and pushed their clothes aside to see if there's anything in the back that could be easily obscured. I don't see anything, so I stand on my toes to look on the shelf. I reach up toward the back to see if there's anything back, but I can't reach. Caleb comes up behind me and reaches up to pull down a box.

"Thank you," I say.

"No problem," Caleb smiles.

He goes to the floor and sits down. I go over and join him and wait for him to open the box. Inside are pictures. Stacks and stacks of pictures and they're all of me and Caleb from when we were growing up. I don't know where she could have gotten these.

"What…" Caleb sounds amazed and I laugh, understanding.

"It's the…Bureau. They must have taken some pictures from the surveillance or something," I say, pulling out one of me as a kid with my mom's arms wrapped around me. When we were younger, she showed more affection to us than anyone else. I hold onto the picture and lean against Caleb. "I miss them."

I hear him sniff and he grabs my hand, squeezing it. "I miss them, too," he says softly.

A/N: SORRY FOR SHORT CHAPTERS. I WORK FULL TIME, SO TRYING TO WRITE MORE IS KIND OF DIFFICULT. I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS.