Dear Hungary,

Well, it is France. Quite frankly, there is nothing perverted he cannot do no matter what shape or form he/she takes and, unfortunately, while she is a woman, I cannot commit to physical violence in order to defend myself. Hitting women is ungentlemanly.

I have to say that, before she left, France has shown herself to be an unsavory influence on the women in my country. As though America hasn't exported enough of his vulgar fashions...

Love,

Austria

Dearest Austria,

Don't worry about it; I don't generally hit women either, but I have no qualms about beating up anyone with designs on the only man I have ever loved. And getting them arrested after the fact. And I refuse to refer to France in the feminine, until or unless England refuses to reverse whatever spell he cast.

And what effect has he had on your fashion? He was only transformed two nights ago!

…Never mind. Thank you for dinner; I had a wonderful time, and I'm leaving the Flying Pan with you again, just in case.

Love,

Hungary

Hungary,

So Operation Get Mattie Laid is working? Awesome! When can I help? There's gotta be something I can do!

Aww, I have? But I thought I was making him happy! Dammit. I'll go right now, then. Heroes do that.

America

America,

Don't forget that England is older and less energetic than you are; if you want a relationship with him, you'll have to take this into account. He'll appreciate your apology.

And yes, Operation Maple Beer seems to be working. You work on making up with England, and maybe in a couple of days try to convince him to turn France back into a man. (But not too quickly!) That's how you can help me.

Thank you,

Hungary

Querida Hungary,

Yeah fru fru as a women... It's kind of freaking me out a bit but whatever. S/he always acted like a chick. S/he looks way hotter as a girl now, no **. Oh yeah, operation maple beer. So what's that all about?

Con amor,

Boriken

Dear Puerto Rico,

Operation Maple Beer is a favor I'm doing to Canada. Beyond that, I don't think I should say, since I don't want Teutonic troll attacks.

Hungary

PS However, should the trolls attack…I'll be ready.