I quickly excused myself and ran out of the study and around the corner, but before I could reach the stairs I felt my arm being grabbed and I found myself face to face with Rebekah. She had a horrified expression on her face and that only made my barely contained tears spill over. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. I ripped my arm out of her grasp and spun around only to find myself face to face with Elijah. He was the last person I wanted to see right now, making the raw wound in my chest ache and throb. Through the tears I could see his jaw was set and his eyes burned with anger.

"Caroline-" he said as his hands grasped my arms firmly. His warm hands felt like they were burning my cold and numb skin and when he tried to pull me closer to him I was overwhelmed with panic.

"No!" I shouted, breaking free from him. "I can't" I whispered, trying to explain the tsunami of emotions crashing over me. But I could only sprint past him and up the stairs to my room where I locked the door and flung myself down on the bed.

I don't know how long I laid there, my face buried in the coverlet and my arms wrapped around my knees as I held them tightly against my chest. I couldn't help the tears that flowed, at first gently and then hysterically as I thought of all that I could have had and lost. I felt hopeless, and desperate and most of all angry; but then I felt guilty for feeling angry. My father wanted what was best for me, and he always had… My head began to throb harder and harder and my eyes grew puffy and heavy as I finally laid there in numb silence. I eventually fell into an exhausted and dreamless sleep.

"Elijah…" Rebekah's horrified face looked back at me. We had both been listening to the conversation in the study, and our horror had grown as it progressed. Caroline came running out of the room and Rebekah reached her before I could, but she ran right into me a moment later. I could see streaks of tears running down her face and her usually animated eyes looked dull and defeated. Every instinct was screaming at me to take her and run far away from here and never look back. But then a bit of fire ignited behind her eyes and she ripped herself away from me and yelled 'No', followed by her pained whisper 'I can't'. She then ran up the stairs and we could hear her door slam shut followed by the ominous sound of a lock sliding into place… and finally the sound of her sobbing.

I felt like I was drowning…

"Rebekah…" I said hoarsely, meeting her sad eyes. She grabbed my arm and sped me out of the estate and to the cover of the trees in the forest. "I thought I had more time… I need more time!" I shout and punch the nearest tree in frustration.

"Elijah! It will all be alright. We just need to come up with a plan" Rebekah tried to comfort me

"I need to go talk to her. She needs to know- I have to tell her-" I try to say, my desperation clear and a bit uncontrollable as I try to make my way back across the grounds but Rebekah is there to block me before I can take more than a step.

"You can't right now! She needs time to process and to calm down and-… Wait, what exactly does she need to know?"

"You already know the answer to that Rebekah, do not be childish" I retort

"No, I know nothing of your true feelings- like always brother!" she shouted

"Why are you doing this?" I shout back

"Because you need to say it aloud, right now, to convince even yourself of its truth"

"She needs to know that I love her alright!" I shout, feeling that last stitch of control I always try to keep finally sever.

"Alright" Rebekah says quietly after a moment, a big smile spreading over her face and I feel my anger slowly ebb away, being replaced by a sense of relief. She closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around me tightly. I quickly wrap my arms around her and take a few deep breaths, feeling a calmness return and my resolve strengthen.

"I will wait until tonight to speak with her" I decide

"Good idea" she agrees, "What are you going to say?" she asks as she backs away

"I haven't the slightest idea…" I sigh as I run my hand down my face.

"Well I would definitely include your little declaration" she joked and I cracked a smile.

I realized as me and Rebekah were talking that all hope wasn't lost. I would go to Caroline tonight, tell her how I felt and we would figure out a way to be together. I would just need to suffer through the next ten hours until I could finally see her.

I woke up to see that the sun was starting to set, and I was very confused. I could feel dried tears on my cheeks and my eyes felt puffy and my head felt heavy… and then everything came rushing back. I was all but engaged to Simon Knightsly. I slowly sit up and look around my room to see that most of the candles were out and the fire was dying. I rise from the bed and stiffly walk over to my vanity mirror. Using the one lit candle left I see puffy eyes with dark circles, deathly pale cheeks and messy hair. I take the candle from the desk and proceed to light the candles next to my bed and settee before returning and adding a new log to the flames in the fireplace. I slowly walk back to my settee and lower myself onto it and hold my knees against my chest as I stare at the building flames.

I am having trouble forming a real thought, it was more a series of flashing numb emotions. Sometimes I felt flashes of panic, other times it was hopelessness; but they were always fleeting and replaced by the welcoming numbness. As the last of the sun's rays left the room there was a knock on my door and I heard Mary's voice asking to come in.

"I do not feel well Mary" I replied, my voice cracking from lack of use.

"Do you need anything?"

"No"

And then there was silence again.

I could hear slight rustling in the room next to mine and knew that Elijah was getting ready for dinner. I couldn't imagine going downstairs and pretending that I was happy. I couldn't imagine sitting next to Elijah, seeing his beautiful smile and deep brown eyes, knowing I would be forced to look into green ones for the rest of my life. I couldn't… So I didn't. I couldn't hear anything after everyone went downstairs, I imagine dinner wasn't an exciting affair tonight.

"Caroline?" there was another knock a while later and it pulled me from the trance I had been in, staring at the flames. I didn't answer, hoping Mary would go away. "Caroline, I brought you some food. You haven't eaten all day" and I immediately felt nauseous at the thought of eating anything.

"I am not hungry Mary" I called back, and I could hear her sigh. After a moment I heard her turn and walk back down the hallway. And again I was left in silence, and I returned to staring into the flames.

The next interruption came later and it was my mother's gentle knock.

"Caroline, dear… I hope you feel better in the morning… Umm- Well everyone is going to bed so I just wanted to wish you a goodnight…" and her timid tone only served to make me angry. She knew how much she and father had upset me today and she hoped that tomorrow everything would be sunshine and happiness again… I couldn't bring myself to answer her. I was doing this- sacrificing my own happiness for the security of my mother and for the peace of mind of my father, but I did not have to be happy about it. I had the right to be angry and upset. I suddenly sprang up from the settee and began pacing the room. My sanctuary felt more like a prison now- I had been trapped in here all day, and at first it had been a welcome escape from everyone but now that they were all in their separate rooms I longed to escape myself.

I pulled on my slippers and grabbed my thinnest cloak and pulled the hood up to cover my face and hair. I silently slipped through the door and down the stairs and then finally I was through the front door and in the cool fresh air. I sucked in several deep breaths and made my way across the lawn, away from the light of the estate to the darkness of the cliffside. I found my favorite little tree and slid down its rough bark to sit on the rocks with my feet hanging over the side. The breeze was a bit cooler than I thought so I secured the edges of the cloak tighter around me and pulled my hood further over my head.

I sat there watching the moons reflection in the retreating tide and listened to the waves breaking over the sand… and then I felt someone approaching, and I knew before I could see him that it was Elijah. I sucked in a deep breath and prepared for what was to come.

He sat beside me and didn't say anything for a moment, but then he took a deep breath.

"How are you?" he murmured

"Wonderful" I answered without turning my head to look at him, knowing my hood was hiding my face from him.

"Caroline… It is okay to be upset"

"Well thank god it is ok to feel what I am feeling then" I retorted… and immediately felt bad. None of this was Elijah's fault, but I couldn't afford to let him get under my skin right now when that was not a pleasant place to be. "I am sorry" I whispered.

"Don't be sorry sweetheart" he whispered and he leaned forward and pulled my hood away from my face. He stroked my cheek and tucked strands of hair behind my ear; I closed my eyes and relished in his gentle touch. I allowed myself a minute of pleasure before I forced myself to lean away.

"Please don't" I pleaded with him. But he reached his hand a bit further for me and grasped the back of my neck and pulled me against him, his lips crashing against mine. He ran one hand up into my hair to cradle my head and his other hand slid down my back and he pulled my body flush against his as we kneeled on the ground. I tried to keep my hands to myself but I found them sliding up his chest and shoulders to wrap around his neck. His lips were demanding yet soft against mine and I felt my heart beating out of my chest at his passion. When I needed to breathe he kissed down to my neck and his fingers fumbled over the tie to my cloak until it fell from my shoulders and pooled on the ground around us. He kissed down my neck to my collarbone and further along the neckline of my dress, sending shivers up my spine and causing me to moan. His hand came around from my back and trailed over my hip and up my stomach to cup my breast through the thin material of my dress and my moan grew louder as his thumb grazed over my hardened nipple; and I could hear a low growl from Elijah deep in his throat in response. He kissed back up my neck and returned his lips to mine, painfully gentle and loving as both hands moved to cup my cheeks and one of his thumbs wiped under my eyes, leaving a wet trail behind… and I realized that I was crying. I abruptly pull away.

"You can't- you can't do that" I gasp as I wipe my eyes and try to regain my breath as I scramble to my feet. He got to his feet slowly and took a step to stand right in front of me.

"Run away with me" he said suddenly and I froze. I couldn't have heard him right.

"What…?"

"Run away with me Caroline- leave this place behind you" he said again. I feel my heart soar- right before it comes crashing back down.

"You know I cannot do that Elijah" I said sadly

"Why not?"

"Because I have a mother and a father. I have friends. I have expectations and responsibilities and-"

"And soon a fiancé" he said irritably and my mouth drops open

"How dare you!" I say, my tone deathly quiet

"Caroline, I'm sorry I-" he starts to say but I cut him off, too angry to care what he has to say.

"You think I want to spend my life tied to a boring and proper Lord? Living a comfortable life locked away in a castle? Knowing that I lost everything out of duty and love of my father?" by the end I was shouting. "You are a man, and a wealthy man at that. You have no idea what it is l-l-ike not to- to have a voice and to be dictated by the expectations of others…" and angry tears built up in my eyes, causing me to stutter over my words.

"You have no idea the expectations I have or the responsibility I have to my family, they are everything to me. And you know nothing of loss" he finished

"No, because I am so insignificant that any feelings of loss or depression I feel cannot compare to the great Elijah Mikaelson. How childish of me to assume that I mattered or that I warranted a moment of thought… At least now I can go about my duty knowing that I did not lose as much as I thought" I shouted and with that I snatched up my cloak from the ground and walked back across the grounds in the direction of the estate, trying desperately to hold in the angry tears that threatened to spill over.

As I made my way up the front steps of the estate I heard a crash and scream of frustration and I almost turned around. But after a brief pause in the doorway I continued on my way and hurried up the stairs and locked the door of my chamber before Elijah could follow me. I was so angry with him that I was shaking. I threw my cloak onto the floor and struggled with the laces at the back of my dress until they were loose enough for me to wiggle free. I kicked off my slippers and shrugged on a clean sleeping gown and sat down at my vanity mirror to brush out my tangled hair. I pulled roughly on the tangles and scraped over my scalp until I was satisfied and braided it into a tight plait down my back. I then went over to the washing bowl and picked up a towel and began washing my face. I scrubbed my lips and cheeks, and then my neck and chest; trying to erase the feeling that Elijah's lips had left behind. I put my anger into scrubbing my skin and once I was done I felt exhausted. I went around the chamber blowing out candles before I finally pulled the blankets back on my bed and climbed in. As I laid there staring up at the canopy I couldn't help but think that maybe having a comfortable life would be better than passion and heartbreak… just maybe. I fell asleep trying to escape thoughts of Elijah but my dreams had other ideas.

I was in a church. I looked down and saw a gown of white silk covered in delicate lace flowing around me. I looked to my right and I saw my father standing beside me, dressed in his best, holding his arm out for me to take as the music started playing and the church doors opened. And then we were walking down the aisle, passing many smiling crying faces but my eyes were on the person waiting for me at the altar. He was looking down at the floor until I got halfway down the aisle and then he peeked up at me and his face broke out in the most breathtaking smile, his brown eyes shining, and I couldn't help but mirror his smile as I finally closed the distance between us. My father placed my hand in his and the ceremony began; as did the shouting. It sounded so far away that at first we all ignored it, but it kept getting louder and more urgent and closer until it appeared to be in the chapel itself; and it was shouting "Elijah!" He grasped my hand in his and then we were running down the aisle and out the doors of the church but when we got outside everything changed. We were running through a dark and unfamiliar forest, and we weren't alone. There were two other men running with us, both carrying torches and wearing very unusual outfits.

"Elijah! What are we going to do?" a younger man asked him as they continued to run, dodging trees at an incredibly fast speed

"We just need to keep running Kol- Wait! Niklaus, where is Rebekah?" Elijah asked, coming to a complete stop. And looking back frantically in the direction they had come.

"Damnit! She was right behind us!" the man named Niklaus swore, "I will double back and find her, you and Kol keep going"

"No, we shall stay together, as one" and the man named Kol nodded along and then the three of them were running back in the direction they had come, but eventually came to a stop beside the unconscious body of a blonde woman lying on the forest floor. Kol dropped to his knees and started shaking her but she wouldn't respond so he just lifted her and held her over his shoulder.

"Alright, let's go" Elijah said

"Go? But you all just got here" a sneering voice said as a man appeared between the trees. He was much older than the other men and he had a reddish blonde beard and hair and the most unkind face I had ever seen.

"Father" Elijah greeted the man solemnly, subtly altering his position to stand in between the others and this man, apparently his father.

"Son, do not think to stand against me again, I only want that abomination" he snarled, pointing his hand toward the man named Niklaus.

"If you only wanted to harm him then why did you snap Rebekah's neck?" Kol demanded

"Because I knew you would all come back to find her obviously, I know my children"

"Apparently not well enough" Elijah growled and then he suddenly sprang at his father, attacking him, his expression dark and terrifying- and suddenly I was sitting up in bed, back in my own chamber, covered in a sheen of cold sweat.

I tried frantically to remember details of the dream but I could only remember running from my wedding and chasing something- or being chased by something through the woods- and then I think there was a fight. Elijah was definitely there, and I think he attacked someone… I looked around and realized that it was morning. I got out of bed and threw the curtains and shutters open to let in the crisp fresh air. I decided that if I only had a few months of freedom left I was going to make the most of them. I called for Mary.

"Oh it is so good to see you up and about Caroline… I heard what happened yesterday…"

"Mary, I would like a bath this morning please" I simply said, not wanting to acknowledge yesterday.

"Oh, of course. I will start the process right now" and she hurried from the room. Shortly after, several footmen came up carrying steaming buckets of water and they were all emptied into the large washing basin the corner of the chamber. Mary added some of my favorite oils to the water and set up a table with my favorite scented soaps. When the basin was full she closed the door and stripped me of my shift and I eagerly lowered myself into the scalding water.

"Caroline! Wait! The water is much too hot right now!" she warned me but I didn't care. I was lost in the scalding water and the fragrant steam, forgetting the last miserable 24 hours. She huffed and mumbled under her breath but set to work unplaiting my hair and brushing it out as I sat in the slightly cooling water. She applied the oils to my scalp and rubbed and massaged it in before rinsing it away with a cup and applying the lavender soap. After lathering my locks fully she rinsed it all away and again applied oil to the ends before styling it into a bun on the top of my head.

"Thank you Mary, that will be all for now"

"Alright dear, well just ring when your done and I'll be right back" and I smiled and nodded.

After she left I soaked a hand towel and applied the vanilla soap to it and leisurely ran it across my skin. I took my time washing and when I was done I enjoyed sitting in the now cool water. I thought back to my dream. The last thing I had wanted to do after escaping from Elijah last night was to see him again so soon in my sleep. And how naïve could I be to dream of marrying him? How childish of me to still pine for that after the things he said last night. I vowed right then that I would never dream of him again… little did I know that I would dream of him every night for the next month.