And I'm back... thank you for the reviews and here's more.

Enjoy,

So ;)

Ps: Immi because i wouldn't make it through without you, your swords and the little spark of insanity (not yours, but the one of you know who ;) )

Chapter 36

Catherine's POV

I open my eyes and yawn slowly. Very faint rays of light are progressively bathing Sara's living room. I take a deep breath and sigh in contentment, brushing my thumb on Sara's arm resting on my waist.

Five days ago Sara and I had our first argument, I guess I can call it like that; we parted on not so good terms. We had spent a good night out together, just the two of us; when we got back to my place we started kissing. Everything was more than good, and I could feel a certain hunger bubbling up in the pit of my stomach; the moment was auspicious, I was under the impression that Sara and I were on the same wavelength, so I started to guide us a little more in the house, at the very least to find a better position than standing against my front door.

The moment was shattered into pieces though, when she insisted on going back home to be with her sister. I never meant to be petty about it, first I found it sweet; then I thought she was nervous or 'pressured' by any of my expectations – I didn't have any, I wanted her yes, but like I told her then making out with her was more than just fine. I ran out of rational explanation as to why she was so insistent about going back to her sister; so my next logical conclusion was that I was the problem.

All my insecurities surfaced, she doesn't want me because I'm old, I'm not beautiful enough, maybe I disgust her…

I know it's ridiculous when you think that we've already been there, but that was more than two years ago, and I'm older now… insecurities aren't meant to be rational anyway.

So it's fragile, insecure and hurt that I got angry at her and throw her out. The next day she tried to talk to me, but I was still wounded so I basically shove her own words back in her throat and told her that I'll decide when I'm ready to talk to her again.

It took four days but eventually I've realise that my reaction might have been disproportional. So yesterday evening I came by and eat a piece of humble pie and apologize to Sara for overreacting; better yet I explained why, I had to put words on my emotions, if that's not maturity, I wonder what is.

What Sara and I have, the relationship we're trying to build, is very precious to me. I am, however, aware of the fact that we are not in the same emotional zone. I'm the one carrying my heart up my sleeves in permanence, while she's just developing feelings. I don't mean to be petty, because I did decide to give us a chance knowing from the beginning that we were emotionally mismatched; but as a result I feel silly most of the time, I don't want to make her run by asking too much too soon. Sometimes I feel so much for her I feel like choking and I hate what it's turning me into; I get possessive and if I don't watch myself I might suffocate our relationship in its cradle.

Last night, I understood that, unlike what I thought, there was still a lot for me to learn about Sara.

She has her own insecurities, her own moments of fragility. I found out why Sara wanted to be by Hazy's sides so much. I woke up to a blood freezing sound. I never had a chance to understand what was going on that Sara was up on her feet and running to her bedroom. I was scared, the cold, insidious kind of scare; the one gripping your guts and slowly, very slowly deploying in you to the point of chilling your bones.

I slowly approached the bedroom and saw Hazy, like a demented scared little girl, rocking herself, mumbling, sobbing… it was like she was in the room without being in it; her stare was vacant and yet filled with horror. I dumbly asked if she was okay to Sara, when it was obvious that she wasn't. The light sound of my voice made things worse and Sara threw me out in a more than cavalier manner.

When I went back to the living room, I was slowly eaten alive with worry and questions. And as insensitive as it sound I felt like running away; the feeling so utterly powerless and scared is not something I'm used to. I felt it once when Linds almost died in that car, and it's a feeling I dread and despise. Feeling like this in moments like last night, not only doesn't help but it makes you feel guilty and horrible – very, very horrible.

Once the surprise and small panic dissipate, I did the only thing I could, I waited. From the way Sara reacted I could only guess that it wasn't the first time that it happened. It took time, but slowly the agitation fade and almost an hour after the ghastly cry, Sara came back in the living room. She didn't say anything but got sick. I stood up from the couch and went to her. I was apprehensive, I felt like I had to tame a wild animal; not that she was agitated like that time she destroyed Adam's office; but she was feeling cornered, her eyes said so when she finally remembered that I was here.

And just like that time in Adam's office, I reacted instinctively. I hugged her, she rejected my touch at first but I held on until she let go, until I was in.

"Hey there," her voice reverberates against my chest in one low vibration.

"Hey," I smile even though her head is still against my torso.

"Your heart beats fast…"

"Your snoring probably scared it," I come back.

She chuckle which makes me smile even more. She moves her head so her chin is resting against me and she can watch me.

"I don't snore," she smirks.

"Keep telling yourself that," I stick my tongue out. We chuckle, then just look at one another for a moment. She reaches out a hand to put back on of my discarded lock behind my ear in a barely there touch.

"See?" she asks and I frown in response. "I woke up by your side," she grins tenderly.

"Well, if we must be technical about it… you're on top of me, not exactly by my side. No complain, but… you know, I just want to be thorough with the analyze of the situation," I state seriously. "Like Gil says, devil's in the details."

She looks at me with a deep scrutiny, her expression is serious all the sudden. "True, so let's get into the details then. Right now I'm half on top of you," she says. Without any warning she moves herself so our bodies are actually moulding against each other; her elbows on each side of my face; her legs entwine with mine, her chest against mine, her whole body against mine. "Now,' she says slowly. "I'm on top."

My breath deserted me a second ago and my heart is about to abandon ship as well; all the sudden my heart jumpstarts sending a powerful electric discharge in all my body, increasing my temperature.

"See the difference?" Sara asks casually.

"Yeah…" I reply with a small voice, feeling suddenly very frail. "Quiet a difference indeed…" I swallow hard.

"Good… because details are important," she keeps on.

"They are… they are," I mumble.

How did the air turned magnetic in a fraction of second is beyond me. Sara's looking at me with such intensity, that I'm afraid I might combust. I'm lying very still, barely daring to breathe; my skin is tingling, I'm gripped by a mix of fear and elation, this is the first time I'm that physically close to her ever since we've taken a new direction in our relationship.

"I believe you owe me a good morning kiss," she states after a moment.

"I do?"

"Yeah…" her face is inching closer to mine.

"Oh…"

"I'm going to collect my due right now…if you don't mine," her voice is now a mere whisper, her warm breath burning my lips.

"Okay…" I murmur with a barely there voice.

She unhurriedly makes contact with my lips; my heart is beating so fast that my sigh of delight erupts in a faint moan. The kiss is brief but she keeps her slightly parted lips against mine, so her breath becomes mine and mine, hers. I'm breathing deeply and unsteadily. Something inside me is begging to blossom and I'm burning from within.

The tip of her tongue languidly flicks over my lips, sending a shiver through my spine by doing so; once my mouth is humid she closes her lips over mine once again; she sucks on my bottom lip in a sensual way, small waves of pleasure are crashing on me, feeding the ball of fire in the pit of my stomach. I can feel her left hand caressing my face delicately, then resting on the top of my head her thumb is brushing against my forehead; her tongue keeps teasing my lips, then I grant it the access to my mouth; I can't help moaning when our wet muscles finally meet.

I close my fists on each sides of her waist, holding her shirt in a firm grip, while her mouth is exploring mine; her right hand takes a life of her own and very haltingly traces my face, my neck before brushing my breast and stopping at my waist; it sneaks under my shirt, her fingertips are electric on my skin, they trail leisurely on my abdomen up to my ribcage; their progression ceases only when close to my chest; Sara's thumb draws the outline of my breast in such a way that I arch a little wanting more contact.

Sara's mouth leaves mine, descend on my jaw right to the crook of my neck; she kisses my epidermis like she wanted to devour me. She moves her head to my chest, lifting my shirt as she goes and trails her lips between my breasts, her thumb teasing my hard nipple; I hiss in pleasure, I'm panting, faint moans escaping my lips. I bite my bottom lip when her mouth closes on the tip of my breast, sucking delicately on it.

I'm shaking my head from side to side, like a feverish person as she adores my bosom with her tongue and lips. She moves slightly so her thigh is now subtly rubbing against my groin; it steals my breath away, I'm gasping for air, aching in ecstasy.

Sara's mouth comes back to crash onto mine, kissing me with an indescribable ardour; she pants against my mouth when she moves her leg strongly yet slowly against me; her hand keeps sculpting my body with reverence. She gently digs her teeth in my bottom lip, before kissing me passionately. My hands pass the barrier of her shirt and caress the skin of her back, discovering her chest; I want more, I want to feel everything at the same time.

She pulls back and look at me, her eyes darkened with blazing desire, the hand she has on my stomach, enters my shorts at a painstakingly slow pace, I can feel it move on each part of my skin; when she finally cups me my eyes close on their own will, my heart starts pumping blood through my veins with a violence such that it's hurting me. I feel Sara's hand gliding against my warmth and only then do I realize how arouse I am.

Her fingertips tease the most sensitive and delicate spot of my anatomy; I plunge my nails in the skin of her back, slowly rocking on the edge. Sara looks at me with amazement, memorising my every reaction to her touch. She moves her fingers lazily, taking my breath away, bringing me to a new height of exaltation.

She kisses me deeply and as her tongue touches mine she slips her fingers in my core and my eyes open wide, I heave with my mouth agape but oxygen never quite reach my lungs.

Sara moves at a torpid pace, the feel is so much I can barely take it, it's like I could feel her completely in me. My eyes roll back and I close my eyes as vertigo is washing over me. My lips are trembling at every small breaths I can take, my voice is lost – as if prisoner of my throat; the ball of fire I felt on the pit of my stomach earlier threatens to explode and expand to my whole body.

I feel high, like I've never been before. I feel myself on the verge of falling, I open my eyes again and Sara is looking at me, and at that very moment, the dichotomy between our two bodies disappears. We are one same entity.

She pushes herself deeper in me and then touches just the right mark, her eyes never leaving mine. I close my eyes when I feel an immense pain in my chest, suffocating me, like I was dying; then an incommensurably powerful fire spreads into me in a whirlwind of pleasure. I hang on for dear life, convulsing violently, my mouth open in a silent, breathless cry.

The spasms slowly decrease in intensity; my chest is burning at every laborious breath I take. The euphoria slowly turns into a deep melancholy, like I had just lost a part of myself; as if I was conscious of the nirvana I had tasted and of the fact that I might never quite reach it again.

I open my eyes; Sara is there, looking at me with an awe I can't quite explain; my melancholy changes into and overpowering feeling of felicity.

Her left hand caresses my face with such delicacy that it's like she was actually touching buried deeper into me. I can feel myself still pulsing around her fingers, small delightful shockwaves still running through me. She leans in and very affectionately kisses me. She rests her forehead against mine her breathing is matching my own and they are both mingling together, I gasp when she finally leaves me, instinctively I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight to me; so for a little more time there's only the two of us in this world.

I never felt so vulnerable and so elated at the same time; because I know in no uncertain terms that I'm in deep.

xxxxx

Sara and I stay cuddled on the couch for an undetermined time; Sara is tender, holding me in an affectionate embrace; we never break the silence, just kiss, and exchange small caresses.

Sara nuzzles in the crook of my neck and delivers a sweet kiss on my skin. She's lying on my side, our linked hands resting on my stomach, our fingers entwined. A loud growl erupts in the room; Sara laughs softly, shifts her position, lifts my shirt a bit and kisses my stomach, making me shiver a bit.

"Well hello to you too, tummy bears," she states.

"This is embarrassing…"

"At least I always know when you're hungry," Sara replies before kissing me sweetly on the lips. "Come on, let's feed the beast."

She kisses me again, I wrap my arms around her neck not to let her go, deepening out kiss. She doesn't hesitate and responds to me. My stomach however has better preoccupation and growls again, I finally let Sara go.

I smile while looking at the ceiling still amazed at how my life is turning. I stand up as well, and walk to Sara, wrapping my arms around her waist while she's over the sink, her hands covered with soapy foam. I inhale her scent deeply before kissing her shoulder blade through her shirt. She leans against me, turns her head a bit a smile on her lips, she simply offers her lips for a kiss and I please her.

She pulls back and beams. "So what do your tummy bears want?"

"Eggs and a special," I reply after consulting my stomach.

"Coming right up."

I just watch her moving around her kitchen, my heart seems to flutter each new breath I take and I can't get enough of that sensation.

I hear the sound of the bedroom door crack open, followed by unhurried and heavy footstep. I turn around and see Hazy walking, swaying a little bit; her eyes are closed but she seems to know her way. She reaches a stool and sits on it, then mechanically rubs one of her eyes like a child would do, pouting a bit. She puts her hand down and stays still, her bottom lip slightly out and her eyes not exactly opened.

Sara pours milk in a tall glass and puts it in front of her. "Morning sleepy," she whispers before tenderly ruffling Hazy's hair.

A childish smile appears on Hazy's lips as she grabs her glass; she empties her glass in one straight go, before putting it down on the counter. Sara refills Hazy's glass a second time and Hazy empties it just as fast; Sara fills up the glass to the half mark and just like for the two first glasses Hazy takes it down.

Hazy suddenly seems to awaken, her eyes open and she's smiling with contentment.

"And I thought you were a junky," I point out to Sara who just chuckles in response.

Hazy brushes her right arm and hisses. She looks down, examines her forearm with a frown of confusion. She looks at Sara with fear almost.

Sara purses her lips as if silently confirming what Hazy fears; instead of saying anything she catches the nose of her sister between two fingers and makes a small honking sound, like she would say 'don't worry about it little sister'.

Hazy smiles shyly; satisfied with that response, Sara retrieves a box of cereals from the cupboard, puts it on the counter next to the now almost empty bottle. Hazy serves herself breakfast and holding her spoon like a kid, just like Sara does in the morning.

Sara finishes cooking something for her and I, then we all share our breakfast together, chit chatting about everything and nothing.

"You have plans for today?" Sara asks her sister.

"I'm supposed to meet Dana for lunch, then I was thinking about going some place new, after what I'll come back here, write, read and rest because I'm leaving on Wednesday and Charlie will be mad at you if I come back tired," Hazel sticks her tongue out.

"Wait, what? …why blaming me when you're the one getting out?" Sara protests.

"Because I'm the baby of the family and you know he just can't be mad at me, that'd be wrong," Hazy chortles.

We finish eating our breakfast and then take turns to the bathroom to shower and get dressed.

I'm getting dressed when someone knocks on the bathroom door.

"I'm leaving," Hazy says through the door. "Have a nice day."

"Thanks, you too," I smile at my reflection in the mirror, hearing Hazy walking away.

I put a towel over my head to dry my hair and exit the bathroom, rubbing my head through the cloth.

"You be careful," I hear Sara's voice.

"Yes, Bee, don't worry."

"Do you need some money?"

"No, I got everything, thank you."

"Alright, call if you need anything or if you come back late."

"Yeah, yeah, I won't talk to strangers and stuff," Hazy rolls her eyes.

"I know, I know, you're a big girl… but you stay the baby here," Sara snorts realizing that she was being a little overprotective. "Come here," she says before hugging Hazy tightly, she only lets go after kissing her little sister's crown. "Now, go, and have a good day."

"You too," Hazy smiles and walks to the door. "I love you."

"I love you too," Sara replies, then Hazy leaves the apartment.

Sara turns around, smiles when she sees me and comes to me. "Hey you," she wraps her arms around my waist and delivers a kiss on my neck; that simple contact on my skin awaken my whole body; memories from the early hours of this days come back in my mind, I feel frail with desire, so I capture her lips in a demanding kiss.

I pull the hem of her shirt out of her pants and touch her skin, I suddenly remember that I do have to go back home, pick Linds at Nance's because I'm suppose to watch her rehearsing her dance solo. It almost hurts me to break the kiss but I bluntly cut the contact between us and take a step away from Sara.

She's looking at me with surprise, equally out of breath. "I… got to go home, I promise Linds I'd watch her rehearse," I quickly say before giving into my need to feel her against me again.

"Okay," she smiles.

I awkwardly move around her keeping a small distance between us; she chuckles at my behaviour, watches me gathering my thing then she walks me to the door. She leans in for a kiss but I pull back and avoid it.

"You kiss me and I'll never leave…I need to go," I wince.

"And I'm supposed to go through my day without a goodbye kiss?"

"Oh please don't pout."

"But…" she gives me a puppy face.

"You're so unfair with me right now…" I bite my bottom lip, my whole body aching for her. "Oh hell…" I pin her to the wall and kiss her fiercely.

I pull back as soon as I feel her sneak her hands under my shirt. "Bad Sara!" I berate her and she just grins before stealing me another kiss and letting me go.

I'll try to come back soon, but the new year is starting at the university so... it might take a little time.

Thanks for reading.