Suki the Aggressive Amazon!
"Earth...Fire...Air...Water!" Suki shouted.
Earth was represented by a fist. Air was a flat hand, palm down. Fire was the first two fingers pointed out, with the other two and the thumb curled in. And water was a flat hand, with the palm facing up.
Bumi, Zhao, Haru, Iroh, and Suki all made the signs with their hands, and then chose a sign for themselves.
"Ha! Fire beats earth!" Zhao cried.
Bumi sulked, he had made the earth sign. "But earth beats air!"
"Yeah, and air beats water!" Haru shouted.
"But water beats fire." Iroh argued. He had gone for the strategical approach, and had chosen water instead of fire.
"How does air beat water?!" Suki demanded.
"It just does!" Haru snapped.
"Yeah, but fire beats all of you!" Zhao boasted.
"You're crazy!" Bumi shouted.
"Oh, I'm crazy?! You're the crazy one, old man!" Zhao retorted.
"Hey, respect your elders!" Iroh chided.
"Order, order!" Aang yelled, banging a gravel against his desk.
"Hey, since when does he have a desk?" Katara asked.
"Yeah! How come he gets a desk?!" Sokka whined.
"What desk?" Toph popped up, looking around, confused.
"It's an ugly desk!" Azula sneered.
"Yeah, an ugly desk!" Ty Lee echoed.
"It's just a desk, who cares?" Mai muttered.
"I should have a desk! I'm a Prince, I deserve a desk!" Zuko reasoned.
"Will you shut up about the desk!" Jet shouted.
"Order, order!" Aang yelled again, banging his gravel.
Slowly everyone settled down and sat in the waiting room chairs.
"I still think I should have a desk." Sokka muttered.
"Oh shut up!" Zuko snapped. If he couldn't have a desk, then by Agni, Sokka couldn't have a desk either!
"First of all," Aang continued, talking over Sokka and Zuko. "Fire beats Earth. Earth beats Air. Air beats Water. Water beats Fire. And Avatar pwns you all!"
"What?!"
"Does not!"
"I want a desk!"
"Fire Nation forever!"
"Boo!"
"Order, or I'll glow! I'll do it, I swear!" Aang shouted. "I mean it guys, sparkly vampires ain't got nothing on my glowing arrow!"
"Yeah, well I have a broadsword that shoots fire!" Zuko shouted, laughing.
"Hey Katara! Did you hear?! Aang's arrow glows in the dark!" Sokka yelled, doubling over with laughter.
"ORDER!" Aang threw his gravel, and it hit Sokka in the head.
Finally everyone was quiet again, aside from the occasional snicker from Zuko.
"Now," Aang said. "Bumi beat Haru and Zhao beat Bumi. So that means Zhao was the winner. Since Earth doesn't beat Water and vice versa, Suki and Iroh tied. So Zhao, Suki, and Iroh are going to have a rematch."
With some grumbling, everyone accepted Aang's verdict. Iroh, Zhao, and Suki got up and stood in a circle, staring each other down.
I chose Earth last time because I'm from the Earth Kingdom. Suki thought. But that's predictable. So I won't choose Earth this time...but wait! That's what they're expecting me to do! So I will choose earth! But wait! If I choose Earth, and Zhao chooses Fire again, he'll beat me. So I won't choose Earth. But what will I choose? Water! But then Iroh might choose Air to be different and beat me. So I'll choose Earth and beat him! And Zhao won't choose Fire because that's predictable! So I'll beat them all!
Hm...what to choose, what to choose. Iroh thought. I think I'll choose...Earth. That's nice and unpredictable. But if that monkey Zhao chooses Fire again, I'll lose! So perhaps I should choose Water. Or is that too predictable? Perhaps I should choose Air...that would certainly be different. But then Suki could choose Earth and beat me. So I'll choose Fire. But if monkey boy grows a brain and chooses Water, then I'll lose too. Hmmm...that's quite a conundrum. In that case, I think I'll go with Air...
I'll choose Fire! Zhao thought. But wait...what if that traitor Iroh chooses Water again? Then I'll choose Air...wait! Then that Earth Kingdom wench could choose Earth and beat me! So I'll choose Water, and let Iroh beat her for me...
(a/n: Notice how Zhao's thoughts are waaaaaay shorter than everyone else's, lol)
"Earth..." Aang yelled.
Oh yeah, I'm soto win! Suki thought, grinning.
"...Air..."
Hehe...glowing arrow... Iroh snickered. Whaaaaat? An old man can't have a sense of humor?!
"...Fire..."
I'm so clever! A real genius! Zhao thought, his brain almost overheating with the effort.
"Water!"
Suki threw down Earth. Iroh played Air. And Zhao did Water.
"Suki wins!" Aang announced.
"YEAH! Take that, looooooosers! Girls rule!" Suki shouted.
"Congratulations. Now step through this door to receive your prize!" Aang said, holding the door open for her.
"Thank you, Aang I—wait what!" Suki whipped around, realizing her fate only seconds too late.
"Have fun in therapy, wench!" Zhao shouted.
The door slammed shut with ominous finality.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Suki screamed.
"Welcome." Ms. Liz said, grinning creepily.
"Take a seat." Dr. Holic said, motioning to the couch.
Glowering at them, Suki slowly walked over, and sat stiffly on the couch.
"Now, I hear you were...ahem, 'captured' by Azula?" Dr. Holic asked.
"What's your point?!" Suki snarled.
"Well, we think that perhaps if you could come to terms with it, perhaps then you could come to terms with your own sexuality." Ms. Liz explained, still smiling creepily at Suki.
"With my what?!" Suki shrieked.
"Well, we're merely saying..." Dr. Holic began.
"That I'm gay?! Why don't you say that to my face!" Suki shouted.
"You're a bit of a lesbian." Dr. Holic said bluntly. "You're aggressive. You have a group of all women 'warriors'." coughAmazonscough "And you beat Zuko in arm wrestling."
"I am not aggressive!" Suki yelled, getting up and slamming her hands down on Dr. Holic's desk.
Dr. Holic leaned back. "Riiiiiiight. Well, ahem."
"It's okay, Suki. You're in a safe place now." Ms. Liz soothed, putting her hand on Suki's shoulder.
"Oh, I may be in a safe place, but you're about to die!" Suki hissed.
Ms. Liz quickly snatched her hand back, and exchanged a look with Dr. Holic. "You know what, you're absolutely right. In fact, I think this session is over. How about you, Dr. Holic."
"Yes, yes!" He quickly agreed, looking at Suki fearfully.
Suki smirked. "Smart man."
She then walked out of the room, representing for strong willed aggressive women all around the world!
a/n: Before I go any farther, I'd like to say something I forgot to in the last chapter: I do not own Dane Cook, The Nothing Fight, nor anything else! I also don't own Avatar. If I did, the Avatar movie would be different, I assure you! ...Jesse McCartney=Zuko Agni...?! Yeah, let me just say I want double whatever the producers are smoking.
Once again, I apologize for the last chapter's lateness! I'm just happy I got this one out on time, as I've been drabbling a bit on a new story. No, I don't think I'll post it on fanfiction. In fact, I'm not even sure if there's a place to post it! It's about Sir Mordred, Elaine of Astolat (I believe that's the correct spelling), Sir Caradoc, Sir Turquine, and an OC of my own, Sir Percival.
Obviously, it's set in the Medieval Ages, so if I accidentally say something like, "fortnight" or "prithee" that would be why, lol.
On a side note, I've been listening to The Beatles lately, so I might include some of their work in this...I don't know. These chapters aren't planned at all, lol. I just look up on "Update Fridays" (as I call them) at eight o' clock and go, Oh crap! And start typing!
But enough with the half page author's note! Time to hear the thoughts of Ty Lee...this should be interesting! (That means this short story will be in Ty Lee's POV)
The Wild Adventures of Ty Lee (T.W.A.T.):
The Beatles Edition!
I was just sitting in the waiting room, minding my own business...playing with a water bottle...filled with water...
"Earth...Air...Fire...Water!" The Amazon chick shouted.
Hmmm...she would make a great addition to Azula, Mai, and I's "team." If the aliens didn't get her first...
The rest of the peoples (I didn't care about them—the only important people are Azula and Mai) gathered in a circle and started shouting.
Aang started banging on a desk...I frowned. The only person that should have a desk is Azula, and that creepy therapist dude.
"It's an ugly desk!" Azula sneered.
"Yeah!" I shouted. "An ugly desk."
But Azula wasn't paying attention. I sighed. Azula never paid attention to me anymore. Looks like I would have to entertain myself today...
I wandered off in search of entertainment...hmmm...what to do, what to do...
I know! The kitchen!
I rummaged through the cabinets, trying to find the Snickers bars I knew Katara kept, for those once a month times...although she seems to have those time a lot more than once a month! Oh well.
I really wasn't supposed to have sugar—it made me a bit loopy, but I was bored!
As I munched on the Snickers everything seemed brighter and happier. I smiled, and started walking around, searching for something interesting...
Hey! What's that? Hmmm...it has a bunch of legs...and it's big...I poked it, and my finger disappeared into it's fur...it's squishy...it must be an octopus!
"MWAAUUUR!" The octopus roared.
"Hi Mister Octopus!" I said cheerfully. I noticed the plants it was eating. Hmmm...those plants look suspiciously like flowers...then I noticed the overturned flowerpots.
"It's really green in here! I guess I'm in the greenhouse." I frowned. "I don't think octopus's are allowed to eat the flowers in the greenhouse. Come on, Mister Octopus."
I grabbed some flowers, and held them out in front of me, luring the octopus out of the greenhouse. Once it was out, I gave it the flowers. "Good octopus." I murmured.
I wandered off again in search of more entertainment. Soon I stumbled across Yue, Jun, Song, and Mai! YAY MAI!! Hey, that rhymes...
"Hey." Jun greeted.
"Hiya! Whatcha doin'?" I asked.
Yue sighed. "Men suck."
"Yeah..." Song agreed.
"You look lonely." I said.
"We are, all our men left us." Yue said.
"Our hearts are black and broken." Mai muttered.
Song sighed, and strummed a bit on her guitar. Mai tapped her pencil in time with Song, having writers block from her depressing poetry. Jun hummed along softly, and Yue played a bit on her piano.
"Wow, you guys are really good! You should like, totally start a band!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, whatever." Mai muttered.
I sighed, they were good, but too lonely to be any fun. Oh well. Onward!
I left, and soon I spotted a small monkey looking thing. "Lucy!" I shouted. Lucy was the first name that came to my mind, so her name would be Lucy!
Then I saw that Lucy had some of Azula's diamonds! "No, bad Lucy!" I yelled, chasing after her.
But Lucy spread her monkey wings and flew away. "Luuuuucy! You have some 'splainin' to do!" I shouted after her.
But alas! She was gone. Oh well. There was nothing to do now but keep going. But by now, I was thoroughly lost—I had chased Lucy outside of the therapy building!
I turned around, but somehow I couldn't find how I had gotten outside. I sighed, and wandered around, trying to find a way back in.
Finally I found a small window. I managed to pry it open, and squeeze through it. I fell headfirst through it, and when I looked up, I saw that I was in the bathroom. I shrugged, got up, and walked out.
"Ow." I looked up to see I had run into Azula, and fallen down. "Azual! You'll never believe what happened! First I visited an octopus's garden, then I started a lonely hearts club band, and there was Lucy in the sky with your diamonds, and I just came through a bathroom window!"
"You really need to stop listening to The Beatles." Azula muttered, walking on.
"Wait, Azula!" But she was already gone.
...what does Beatles have to do with anything? I didn't know they could talk.