August 20, 1998

Hermione opened the window to the flat and let the warm air float through and graze her face. She had been profusely vomiting for the past twenty minutes and thought a breath of fresh air would do her some good, but the heat seemed to suffocate her and within two minutes she was bent over the bowl emptying the contents of her already empty stomach. She leaned her head back on the wall behind her and groaned. When she was younger she had heard her mother talk about how wonderful being pregnant was, how Hermione was the light of her life even before she was born and right now, Hermione couldn't relate.

Tears streamed down her face in frustration. Frustration that the life inside her made her throw up half the day but wanted her to eat everything under the sun and frustrated that she couldn't share this with her parents. They had lived, in their minds, child free for their entire life only to finally live their dream in Australia. She pulled her knees up and rested her forearms on top of them, one hand clutching the others wrist.

If she was being honest, it wasn't fair. She had been too strong with her memory charm, she had erased too much too fast and no matter how hard she had tried, she couldn't get them back. She wiped at her eyes quickly as she heard the door to the flat open.

"Mione?"

"In here!" She called, gagging slightly.

Ron appeared in the doorway to the bathroom, his robes were ashen, his hair was ruffled and his face dirty "what are you doing there?"

She sat up a little straighter and looked at him "you have a bit of dirt on your nose." She laughed slightly as Ron's hand went to his nose, making the smudge worse than what it was "I kept getting sick, so I figured I'd stay here. The library sent me home early because I wasn't a help." She sighed and felt Ron sit next to her. "Today was your lunch with lavender, wasn't it?"

"Yeah..." he looked at the toilet and Hermione vaguely recalled the way he looked when he told Draco to eat slugs and it backfired.

"Are you okay?" He shook his head and leaned it back against the wall "I mean after all this time, it must have been nice to see her again!" Ron shook his head and closed his eyes "no? It wasn't?" She turned her body toward him, a movement her stomach wasn't fond of but she kept whatever wanted to come back up, down.

"She's uhh" he cleared his throat and opened his eyes to look at her "she's a lot like you..."

"Not to sound... privileged Ronald but I am anything like lavender brown. I think if she could have fought me over you she would have." She leaned her head on her friends shoulder "bit jealous, we weren't even dating..."

"Yeah well I'm talking about something else." He cleared his throat again "she's pregnant." Hermione lifted her head off of Ron's shoulder and gasped slightly "said she's about seven months." He looked confused "musta happened around the time I left you and harry. I was in a right state you know, after the horcrux and everything and I missed her so i contacted her. We met in a town outside the Forest of Dean." He brought his knees up and rested his forearms on his knees, his fingers playing with a loose thread on his robes "it's a girl."

Hermione smiled sadly "and here you are, trapped with me and a baby that's not even yours."

"Never trapped." He shook his head and sighed deeply "she's a bit miffed about me being engaged to you though."

"When isn't she miffed about me, Ronald?" She laughed and Ron joined her, their laugher filling the small bathroom "so December?" She laid her head back down on his shoulder.

"Yeah." He nodded "what am I going to do?"

Hermione stared at the toilet, wrapping a arm around his "we'll think of something."

.xx.

The covers seemed itchy and hot and she could hear Ron's snoring from across the hall. She laid on her back, her hands resting on her slightly swollen stomach wondering all what lavender had been through, and how most of it had been without Ron. She sighed slightly and rolled out of bed, heading to the kitchen to grab the bag of Oreos and the jar of pickles. She shuffled to the bench by the window and opened the jar and the cookies, dipping the chocolate and Creme cookie into the salty brine.

She moaned softly as she took a bite, staring out the window. Whatever lavender was doing right now, she deserved to have Ron by her side, just like Draco should have been there on her side. She leaned her head on the glass and dipped another Oreo into the pickle jar, there was no way she'd let Lavender be without Ron.

.xx.

December 21st 1998

The new flat she occupied was smaller than the one she shared with Ron. But all her stuff was there and she was more comfortable in her new place than she was the old flat. It was closer to the library she worked at which allowed her to walk when her feet didn't feel so swollen. The prophet had posted an article the day after Hermione had moved out about Ron's affair with Lavender, how the famed miscarriage had caused him to find love elsewhere.

"I do love you Ron, but not in the way you love me, and I want you to be happy and to find someone who can give that to you."

The memory made her smile and she settled down into the chair she had placed by the window. She had loved Ron, like a brother and Ron had loved her in a different way, but not in the same way he had loved Lavender and she couldn't keep him from what she had longed for.

The snow storm from yesterday raged on blanketing London in a soft white blanket, she took solace in the snow as much as she did in the fake fight that her and Ron concocted although the prophet concocted the story of her miscarriage, they had the part about Ron and a woman near Cardiff.

A soft knock came at her door and she knitted her eyebrows before answering. Ginny stood there, her fiery red hair sticking out wildly from underneath her white knitted hat, her cheeks flushed from cold.

"Ginny?"

The redhead smiled and pushed her way through the door and took off her hat, snow falling to the ground "Lavender had her baby!"

Hermione brought her hands to her face and tears sprung in her eyes almost instantly, no thanks to her hormones and the intense urge to want to hold her own baby that moved restlessly in her tummy "oh my god! When?"

"Yesterday morning" Ginny stomped off her boots on the rug before taking them off "we've been trying to get ahold of you but your phone is off..."

"Since your mums explosion I just needed some time.." she shrugged and waddled back over to the chair she was sitting in "I apologize, I'll keep it on from here on out." She watched as Ginny sat on the couch "Ron had told me it was a girl.."

Ginny nodded "they named her Rose, she has Ron's hair but did we expect anything else?" She laughed.

Hermione chuckled and nodded "of course she does. I can't wait to meet her." She tucked one leg beneath her and looked at her friend "I heard that you quit the French fliers, why? I thought you loved that team and harry is concerned.."

Ginny shrugged and picked at a piece on her sweater "other important things have come up." She bit her bottom lip and grinned slightly "I haven't told Harry yet, I just found out not too long ago myself but... I'm pregnant!"

Hermione's eyes went wide and her hands flew up to her mouth again "oh my god! Ginny! Congratulations!"

She laughed and nodded slightly "thank you! It's a bit crazy how close in age all our children will be! I didn't expect this, not for a while, I really wanted to play quidditch professionally..."

Hermione stood up, walked over to the couch, plopped down next to the ginger and gave her friend a tight hug "there's always a time when the baby gets older that you can! It's not over yet!"

"Not until the fat lady sings!" They both said in unison, laughing together.

"I feel so bad" Ginny muttered resting her head on the back of the couch looking over at Hermione.

Hermione followed suit and looked at her friend "that's going to happen, a lot. I got sick almost every day for two months. It was awful—"

"No." Ginny cut her off and grabbed her hand "that I get to go through this with Harry and you have to go through it alone."

Tears pricked at Hermione's eyes again but she smiled "but I haven't gone through it alone. I have you and harry and Ron." She smiled and grabbed her friends hand "and I'm never alone. I have this baby with me all the time and" she inhaled "I'm excited. I'm excited for Ron and I'm so excited for you and Harry."

"And for you?"

"Nervous." She laughed "but excited too. I like to think Draco would be too, if he knew."

Ginny sighed "He's still a prat for going off and getting married to someone else but I'm sure he'd have been excited." She gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

.xx.

February 25th, 1999

Hermione stared at the little boy in front of her. His short blond hair mussied up from his tiny little gloved hands almost always up by his head. He laid in a swing, his large grey eyes staring back at her. She had taken a rental car to France instead of the train like she had originally planned and it took her quite a bit of time with a stop in dartford, Maidstone, folkstone and Saint-Omer to either feed a crying baby— which she felt quite ogled at in the back seat of the car with her breast bared— to soothe a crying baby or to change a baby while getting petrol. Half way through her original six hour journey she got upset that Harry wasn't there. That Lavender had Ron, that Ginny was taking the train to set up Hermione's brand new flat prior to her arrival. About thirty minutes past Saint-Omer she pulled off to the side of the road to cry long and hard and when that was over she drove onto Paris where she sat now, staring at the infant who stared back.

"Hi." She watched as the swing gently rocked him back and forth, his eyes never leaving her face "you're finally awake." She smiled and reached to pick him up and cuddled him close to her chest "did you have a good nappie?" She rubbed her hand up and down his tiny back "your daddy loved naps too." She held him close as he wiggled his little legs "it's probably the reason he came in second, right behind me." She propped her feet up on the table and smiled down at the baby "I think you got your love of naps from your dad but you were very punctual and you got that from me." The baby brought his mitten clad hands to his face and yawned "you look just like him, which is unfortunate because I did all the work but I didn't get the credit." She laughed slightly at her own joke. The baby closed his eyes and Hermione smiled sadly at the baby cuddled on her chest "I wish your daddy could see you, Scorpius. I'll tell you all about him, whenever you want." She placed a kiss on the side of his head before laying her head back and closing her eyes, tears leaking out of closed lashes.

Authors note: I hope that this clears up any questions you had about rose being a bit older than Scorpius! Also I'm SO sorry about updating so late. Panic! at the disco was AMAZING and I'm so happy that I got to see them (and a shirtless Brendon *heart eyes*) in person! i've been waiting fourteen loooong years for that. But also the day after the concert I ended up with the flu so i've been trying to get better and honestly everything after january 31st has been a blur. Thanks to everyone who has read this, added to favorites, added to alerts and of course those who reviewed. I'm still so thankful for all of you. 3