CHAPTER 38
The whole night had gone by without any unexpected events. They had woken up at sunrise and allowed some time for everyone to have something to eat and then guarded the party in groups so that they could have a toilet break. As soon as they had picked everything up and had put out the fire properly, they set out towards the dock. Sakura wanted nothing more than share her thoughts about the people they were guarding with the rest of her team. However, given it was a numerous group which they were escorting, team seven couldn't stand side by side.
Not three hours later, they had arrived at the appointed docks. Kakashi approached the ship that he had been instructed to and greeted the man in charge, while Sakura and Sasuke stayed behind and made sure everyone stayed put. Sakura tried to make sense of what they were talking about, but Kakashi had his back turned to her and the captain of the ship had a huge beard so she couldn't read his lips. It came to her attention that the ship that would be taking the group across the sea was filled with men with pale skin, which contrasted with everyone else on that dock – who had a dark tone of skin.
Kakashi dutifully moved aside as the crew of the ship moved the group into the ship. Sakura faintly noticed that someone was looking at her and she realized that it was the man she'd healed the day before. He was frowning at her… in a disheartened manner. She felt her heart sink at the feeling it evoked in her. She wondered if she was being too soft with criminals – as Sasuke had pointed out before – or if her gut was actually telling her something.
She had wanted to walk up and ask where they were heading, but Kakashi held her arm and eyed her reproachfully. Sakura bit her lip, knowing that during missions no questions should be asked. She knew that she was expected to just deliver and go home. Konoha's reputation was at stake too, and Kakashi was well aware of that. Sakura finally decided to let it go and simply allow the ship to take off.
"Off to the Land of Ice! Lift the veils!" a member of the crew announced.
"I have the feeling that something was off with this mission." She finally said when no one was close enough to hear.
Sasuke and Kakashi said nothing, but simply started into the sea. She looked at the both of them and saw that their eyes weren't blank. Both her teammates were good at masking their thoughts, but she could sometimes see through them. At the moment, they seemed just as conflicted as she was. Sakura only felt worse about not saying anything before, but knew that there was nothing else to do at that point.
Team seven started the journey back to Konoha silently. Sakura could feel the thickness in the air and knew that they were all thinking back on the mission. She wondered for a moment if they knew something that she didn't, mainly because it wasn't like them to be unsettled for no reason at all. However, Sakura trusted them and decided that they would've told her if they knew.
They stopped for a late lunch next to a river. Sasuke lit a fire, while Sakura and Kakashi caught some fish to roast under the fire. As they were eating, Sakura decided to ask once again about the issue that had been bugging her.
"Hey… guys. I know I already asked but don't you think there was something wrong about this mission?"
"Hmm…" Kakashi put a hand to his chin and looked at the fish in his hand. "I don't know. Why would you say that?"
"Every one of them seemed weak, they didn't look like thugs to me." Sakura explained. "Also, they didn't seem rebellious at all. Don't you think it's weird that they didn't attempt to escape? Not one of them? They also seemed too submissive to be real criminals."
"Hm. My guess is that they were more into blackmailing and fiscal crime. They don't need muscle to do that."
"But what about their behavior? They were almost scared of us!"
"Of course they were. We were shinobi. They had probably never traveled with one before, so it's expected." Kakashi answered slowly… but Sakura felt his voice quaver in a barely noticeable manner. She knew him well enough to be sure that he wasn't telling the whole truth. Kakashi must've also noticed the way his voice failed, because he turned his head away from her.
Sakura frowned and wondered if Kakashi was also having doubts of whether or not he indeed knew something. It seemed that he didn't want to share it with her, probably because he didn't trust what her reaction to it would be. Or maybe he was hiding it from Sasuke?
"Sasuke?" Sakura's voice called as she looked at the Uchiha.
"Hn."
"What about you?" Sasuke was just as smart as she was. If she had noticed something off, then he definitely had too. "Don't you think it seemed weird?"
Sasuke remained quiet for some time. She notice that he glanced at Kakashi – who was sitting on the other side of her – and quickly looked back at the jonin; he was still looking away. But he could've been looking at Sasuke just before. Sakura frowned and looked back at the raven haired teen.
"You shouldn't overthink things, Sakura." Sasuke said.
Unlike Kakashi, Sasuke's voice was even and his face was blank. Nonetheless, his eyes were softer than before. Yes. She only managed to see through him because she knew him too well. But the fact remained. Sasuke's eyes never looked like that unlike he was affected. To Sakura… he seemed guilty. Did he feel guilty because he was lying to her? Or maybe because she was somehow right and he knew it too? Or maybe Sakura really was overthinking?
"We should move out already." Kakashi informed. Sasuke immediately stood up and started packing his things up.
Sakura sighed, knowing that she wouldn't manage to get them to speak unless she asked while they were alone back in Konoha. Sakura threw some dust on the still burning coals to put it out and then picked up her travelling bag.
They travelled at a fast pace, so they managed to get back to Konoha in just one day. It also helped that the dock where they had delivered the group had been on their way back to Konoha, so it shortened their travelling distance.
Usually whenever Sakura came back from a mission into Konoha, she felt eager. She wanted nothing but to get back into her routine, into the hospital. However, when she saw the village now… she didn't feel it. She almost felt disappointed. And of course she would. Going back to the village meant going back to working with Kabuto. Going back to finding out more unsettling things about her village, the council and the Clans.
They slowed down when they were getting to the gates. Sakura absentmindedly waved at the guards on the gates, but didn't realize if they actually greeted her back or not. She slowly walked through the streets, behind Sasuke and Kakashi. Her eyes were wandering restlessly around her, as the heavy feelings didn't leave her chest. At one point, they passed by a bookstore, where some newspaper was hung at the front. Her eyes immediately read the headline.
'Land of Ice Questioned'
She stopped dead in her tracks and walked towards the newspaper and she grabbed it roughly. She read the headline once again and then opened the pages where it the news was detailed. However, there was no real explanation for the title. It only said that there were some inhuman and illegal activities going on there, and the international community had become aware of them.
"Would you like to buy today's newspaper, Sakura?"
"Oh?" Sakura realized then that the saleswoman – Akari, a woman she'd previously spoken to and was pretty educated and informed – was looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a smile. She also noticed that Kakashi and Sasuke had stopped walking and come back to stand next to her. "Hey there, Akari. I was just wondering what might be wrong with the Land of Ice."
"Oh. No problem. I can tell you about it."
"Akari-san." Kakashi interrupted. "We're actually on our way to see Hokage-sama. So I don't think there's time for this right now."
"I don't think it'll take long." Sakura retorted before the other woman could speak and turned her emerald eyes to stare into Kakashi's lone one. "I'm sure no one will notice if we take 5 minutes longer to get there."
"You don't know how long it'll take, Sakura." Kakashi answered. Oh, but Sakura knew that Kakashi was trying to keep her from hearing this. She was not going to let it slide. She needed to clear her questions regarding the mission.
"She could make a summary." Sakura said. She could see Sasuke's eyes go back and forth between her and Kakashi's form. He seemed a bit… tense?
"I don't think this is a good idea right now, Sakura." The Uchiha said.
"Why not? Is there something you guys know and I don't?" Sakura squinted her eyes at her team mates. Sasuke looked away from her, a small frown on his face. So, they were hiding something.
"Sakura-" Kakashi looked at her straight in the eye and was going to say something else, but Sakura spoke up first.
"Akari-san. Please tell me." Sakura looked at the other woman once again. She had noticed the tension between the three of them, but after a couple seconds of silence she finally sighed.
"Actually… I just finished my shift." She explained. "So I can walk you there and I'll tell you on the way, ok?"
"Sure, thank you." Sakura smiled and began walking towards Danzo's bunker, followed by Akari and the rest of her team.
"There have been some public leaks on what's been going on in the Land of Ice." Akari and Sakura walked side by side. "All that's known to the public is that there are some illegal activities that have been going down there. But I've read my own share of non-official publications and have a good idea what it's all about."
"What have you learned?" Sakura questioned as they took a turn on the street that led towards Danzo. "Is it bad?"
"It is actually. It's a difficult situation. As you must know, the Land of Ice is an inhospitable place to live, so there's little human settlements. Most of the land is wild and there's no order there. So, since most nations have spread their influence throughout their territory, many groups of semi-organized crime have moved out to the Land of Ice. Since there's not much around there, they're really hard to track and take care of."
"I have read about them not having complete control of their territory." Sakura hadn't really known about the criminals. With everything she'd been dealing with lately, she hadn't read any news in months.
"Recently, there has been an increased movement regarding human trafficking."
"Human… trafficking?" Sakura felt her chest constrict. It couldn't be…
"Yes. Most groups have taken part in that kind of activity. They bring poor people from different nations under the cover that they are prisoners or ill people seeking for help. They take them across the sea that surrounds the Land of Ice and then into their headquarters. I don't exactly know what happens afterwards… but we can safely assume that they deliver the goods from there to different nations. Either it be slaves or human organs, or whatever they do with the poor souls that are sent to them."
Sakura stood frozen at the spot. Her hands shaking and her arms stiff at her sides. It couldn't be. Sakura felt her heart breaking under the notion that everything seemed to be pointing to. It all made sense now. She felt Sasuke shift uncomfortably, moving to stand behind her and Kakashi move closer.
"Sakura." The older jonin put a hand on her shoulder. "We should-"
"Akari." Sakura didn't pay any mind to Kakashi as she gathered herself. She looked at the woman once again, who seemed a bit puzzled at Sakura's previous reaction. "Please tell me more about these groups."
"Ok. But, Sakura… are you all right?"
"Don't worry. It's just always sad to find out about these things…"
"Well, ok. All I know is that they come from outside the Land of Ice, so they don't have their usual traits; you know, dark skin and hair." Akari put her hand to her chin in thought. "I can't say anything else for sure. There's some info on how to identify them, but it's mostly contradictory and I wouldn't want to say anything I'm only partially sure of."
"O-ok. Thank you, Akari." Sakura forced a smile, but it came out as a grimace. Akari bit her lower lip as she looked as Sakura and noticed the dark eyes of her team mates.
"I… think I should leave now. I'll see you around, Sakura." She waved the pinkette good-bye and left quickly.
Sakura couldn't find another way to cope with how she felt, so she kept on walking. She walked at a fast pace down the street, as she went over all of the info again and came to the same conclusion. The crew that had taken the group of people away had light skin – not dark skin like the natives of the Land of Ice had. The group had never acted like criminals and they had all seemed too scrawny to be healthy. The looks of fear in their eyes, the way they shied away from team seven. The way the man she'd healed had seemed completely disregarding of his health – as if it didn't really matter to him. How none of the people they had been escorting had tried to escape.
"Sakura-" Sasuke quickly appeared next to Sakura and put a hand on her shoulder, but she slapped it away.
"You knew." She hissed and stopped walking. "The both of you. How… how could you?!"
"Sakura, you have to understand-" his voice was soft despite her outburst.
"What is it that I have to understand, Sasuke?" she raised her voice. "How we all just sold our souls overnight?! How youhad me do this without my knowledge?!"
"Sakura-" Kakashi stepped closer and grabbed her arm. "Keep your voice down."
"Like hell I will!" she shook him off and could feel tears form in her eyes. "How could you not tell me, Kakashi? I trusted you! Both of you!"
Before anyone could say anything else, another presence neared them. Sakura froze on the spot and turned around to see a root ANBU. It wasn't just any root ANBU, it was the one that had been guarding the entrance to Danzo's bunker. He seemed to have noticed some commotion – of course he did, they were standing only a couple meters away from him – and had approached to check if things were fine.
"Is there a problem?" he asked in a monotone voice.
"Not at all." Kakashi answered calmly. "Some differences regarding team dynamics."
"Ah." The ANBU didn't seem to completely buy the excuse, but didn't ask further. "You've come to see Hokage-sama, haven't you? He's expecting you. I'll escort you there."
Sakura tensed even further at her spot next to Kakashi and Sasuke, but had to move and follow the ANBU. Sasuke and Kakashi immediately caught up and she felt both of them elbow her on the sides a couple times. She could feel their eyes burning on the sides of her head. They probably were expecting her to look their way. Or calm down.
But how could she even calm down? Sakura had taken part in human trafficking. She had just… delivered innocent and defenseless people into the claws of a criminal organization. It wasn't just that… as a medic, Sakura had read reports on what happened to people in those situations. She had even seen some of the consequences first hand in her previous life. Starvation, humiliation, worked to death, rape, torture and all forms of physical and psychological abuse. She was so horrified by what she'd played part in, that she could barely keep the bile down. Her nausea clouded her sight and she almost tripped a couple times as they walked down towards Danzo's office.
"Sakura… calm down." She heard Kakashi whisper, but she promptly ignored him.
And she wasn't just upset. She was furious. She had never felt so angry. She wanted to beat the hell out of Kakashi and Sasuke for not telling her about what they'd known. She felt so deeply betrayedthat they had kept something like that from her. She felt utterly disappointed that they had willingly completed the mission even when knowing what they were dealing with. She didn't know who had negatively surprised her more; Kakashi, being someone with great experience with horrible missions but mature and level-headed, or Sasuke, someone who had a felt a lot of hate during his life but had never before played a part in those types of dealings in this timeline.
"Sakura." Sasuke's voice was on edge too by now, the softness from before completely gone. She felt his hand around her forearm, but she pulled away from him.
Sakura felt so sickened. The village she loved. What had become of it? How far would they go? Did the clans know about this? Did Danzo know about this? Had it even been different before he became Hokage? Or had everything been done by ANBU in secret before? Sakura felt dizzy with confusion and regret. What could she have done to prevent it? Could she even do anything at this point?
The weight of everything was coming down on her again. It felt like that time years ago, when Tsunade had died. When she had felt the pressure of everything being too much for her and she had lost control of what she said and did. Right now, all of it was destroying her spirit. The fact that the Juubi was still a threat. The possibility that Zetsu was so much more dangerous than she'd imagined – even more than Obito. The knowledge that she'd allowed Danzo and Kabuto to get to positions of power in this timeline. The things that she'd been forced to do for Kabuto. The fact that she'd played part of the slave trade. And the fact that both her team mates hadn't told her about it.
What had she done to deserve all this? Had she been a tyrant in her past life and now had to deal with all these horrible situations?. She couldn't do anything about what happened in her life. She couldn't speak up about any of the things she knew were going on. She felt trapped; like a pressure cooker about to explode and she couldn't let any steam off.
But she then realized, not everything was a secret. This particular subject – the mission they'd just completed – was something she couldspeak about. Most of the time, she felt like her hands were tied, but there was no reason why she couldn't speak her mind now. If she didn't say anything at this point, she would finally cross the line. The line between being cautious and being a coward.
Before anyone could say something to her, the root ANBU had lead team Kakashi to Danzo's office. He pushed the door open and motioned with his head for the team to enter. Sasuke and Kakashi entered slowly, trying to look as if nothing was wrong.
Sakura, on the other hand, walked in with her eyes intently focused on Danzo. Her face was blank, but her posture was strong. Usually, Sasuke would've never wanted to her see her looking weak and defeated, but at this moment he would've rather seen her like that then looking… this strong-willed. She seemed almost… defying. He wanted to tell her stay calm back so badly, but he didn't know how she would react. If she reacted badly to his words, Danzo would ask about what the issue was. And everything could go down-hill from there.
"Team Kakashi." Danzo's deep voice echoed in the dark room. "I see you've returned unharmed. I assume the mission was completed."
"Yes, Hokage-sama." Kakashi slightly bowed his head down. "We were handed the group in a peaceful way. The way towards the dock went without events. And they were delivered to the ship the way the mission requested. There were no problems at all and the mission went just as expected."
"Good. I expect a mission report-"
"Were there any problems to be expected at all?" Sakura's strong voice interrupted Danzo.
"What?" the fifth seemed quite taken aback by the sudden interruption – obviously not being used to people talking to him that way.
"How could anyone expect too many problems with the prisoners, when they're slaves being sold from one owner to another?" Sakura's voice resounded through the room. Kakashi held her wrist in a painful grip, but Sakura had long ago built a high pain tolerance. She twisted her arm to release herself from Kakashi's hold. "Did you know about this, Hokage-sama?"
Despite the title being used, her words didn't express much respect. Danzo narrowed his eyes at the pink haired girl and spoke with a clear voice. "Haruno Sakura. I'm quite sure I don't need to explain myself to you."
"Sakura-" Sasuke took a step closer to her and was about to say something else, but she spoke again.
"Was Konoha aware that the mission they had accepted was part of human trafficking?"
Danzo had his eyes intently focused on the rather small and young person that stood in front of him. That was questioning him of all things. She was standing up to his authority and saying what she wanted, without any reservations on what it may cost her. A thick silence took place in Danzo's office, while the leader looked at the girl and the rest of her team stayed silent in complete anxiety.
"You think you know what it takes to run a shinobi village?" Danzo's loud voice was almost a roar. "Where do you think power comes from, girl? Good intentions? Flowers and love?"
Sakura's eyes widened a bit. So it was true. Danzo had always known what the mission was about – of course he had. Nonetheless, Sakura felt disheartened. How was she even supposed to trust in orders from now on? She was willing to do so much for her village. She had always been willing to die to protect her nation and her home. She had been willing to kill people who threatened it. But this – abusing and killing innocents – was too much.
"There's a limit!" Sakura shook her head as she fixated her eyes on the ground. Her voice was quivering, but it still had a strong edge to it. "Unethical deeds shouldn't be actions that Konoha takes to become strong!"
"How should Konoha become strong, then? Save everyone?" Danzo's face was serious, but she heard the mocking tone in his words. "Don't make me laugh."
"That should be the most important thing!"
"Your words express your stupidity and naivety." Danzo spat and then leaned back, his face hardening like steel.
"It's not naivety. It's about not crossing the line between doing what's necessary and destroying the lives of people." She answered swiftly. Sasuke and Kakashi were, by now, dead quiet and staring at her – hoping that she would stop defying Danzo. They were aware that things might go even worse if they got involved.
"In the shinobi world, there is no such thing. It's a military system and it requires absolute obedience." Danzo was quickly losing his patience. "There is no room for ethics."
"What about peace? What about people's lives?" Sakura answered, trying to stop herself from snapping at the current Hokage.
"Power doesn't allow space for such considerations." Danzo answered ruthlessly, his voice rising once again. "I may have to question your loyalty. Are foreign people's lives more important than your duty to your village?"
"I didn't mean it like that." Sakura answered quickly. "I just-"
"Seeing your rebellious behavior, I'm compelled to question the validity of your report on Suna." Danzo narrowed his eyes at her. "You're exactly the kind of person who would put her village at risk to cooperate with a village based on nothing. With peace as the basic principle."
"N-No!" Sakura gulped, realizing that where things were heading. "Sir, I would never-"
"You could easily be a traitor to our village, Haruno."
Sakura had been slightly blinded by the helpless feelings storming in her chest. The knot on her throat the biggest she'd felt in a long time. But, when Danzo spoke that last sentence, she fully came back to her senses and realized her terrible mistake. If she spoke up to Danzo like this – even if it was for a subject that didn't involve her time travel – he could decide to distrust her. He could decide to look into her. How stupid had she been? She'd jumped into the first exit for her inner turmoil and hadn't given it a second thought.
"I'm not, sir." Her head hung low.
She was going to speak once more, but her words died in her throat and her hands became sweaty. It felt like minutes, but there were only a couple of seconds of silence. Kakashi seemed to realize the weight of the situation too, because he was frozen in spot.
Sakura looked at Danzo once again. His face was as impassive as always but she could clearly see the anger in his eyes. It was then that she realized how mistaken she'd been. That she had probably etched her fate in stone when she spoke up to him. That her mission – the Juubi, the Juubi for fucks sake – would go spiraling down the drain. That everything would go terribly wrong now. Her heartbeat started to drum in her chest, and she was wondering if she should attack Danzo or desert Konoha.
Danzo had seemed to be in thought for those few seconds. He finally took a deep breath in and was about to speak, but Sasuke took a step forward.
"Danzo-sama." Sasuke's voice was calm but strong, and she once again wondered how on earth he managed to keep his cool. Danzo didn't speak further, which he took as permission to talk. "I would like to talk to you about Haruno Sakura's behavior just now. There's a good explanation for this."
Danzo's hard eyes looked at Sasuke for a moment and then narrowed at Sakura. She felt her heartbeat go mad in her ribcage at the notion that maybe he would refuse and send her down to interrogation. Finally, the Fifth closed his eyes with annoyance.
"There better be." He almost spat and then turned to a root ANBU. "Escort Haruno to the waiting room down the hall and have her stay there until I settle this. Kakashi, you're dismissed too."
The root ANBU was immediately next to Sakura and pushed her out of the room. Kakashi followed closely as they neared the door, given that he had also been instructed to leave. Sakura gathered herself and looked at the silver haired jonin. His eyes were narrowed at her – no wonder – and his whole face was tense. He was clearly angry about her outburst and had been expecting the worst, just like her.
As soon as the door had closed behind them, Sasuke turned to look at his mentor, who had reclined back on his seat. He stared up at the Uchiha and nodded his head at the chair that on the other side of his desk. Sasuke made his way to it in a calm manner and sat down.
"So. What is this explanation that you have."
"I've known Haruno Sakura since we were twelve. She had always been a particularly sensitive person, who had always tried to do what she thought was right and help everyone she came across." Sasuke explained. "That's part of the reason that she became a medic nin. As you can imagine, in that line of work she has probably seen – or at least read of – what happens to people that are subdued to human trafficking. Obviously, she would be more affected by this mission then the rest of us. Apart from that, she only just fully realized the real objective of this mission right before we entered the building. She didn't have enough time to digest and understand the implications of it."
"That's no excuse." Danzo answered fiercely. "Shinobi can't afford to question orders, especially if it's because of mere personal feelings. She should've known what her profession required of her. If she acts like that, she is not fit to be a shinobi."
"I understand." Sasuke nodded. "However, and as you know, Sakura is a genius shinobi. She is the strongest chunin after me, her level could be even considered mid-jonin level even at sixteen. There are few people that have such potential and, in my opinion, it would be a waste for her to stop her duties as a shinobi."
"Her behavior will be too much of an issue though." Danzo replied. "Even with all that potential, if she can't follow orders not only will she not be useful – she'll be a problem in the field."
"I'm sure she can learn to deal with her personal feelings."
"You're sure?" Danzo questioned. "That kind of person doesn't change, they only get worse. I've seen it throughout my life and I don't doubt that she'll become more rebellious with time."
"I do believe Sakura can learn." Sasuke replied. "I know her, she's smart. She will realize that she's been given a second chance and change."
"Sasuke. I'm only doing this because you're my student – I know you're smart." Danzo narrowed his eyes. "But if something happens, I'll hold you responsible for her."
"Hai." Sasuke nodded. Another question popped in his head. He was slightly anxious to ask, but he needed to know. "Danzo-sama, do you really believe that Haruno Sakura lied in her report about Suna? That she's a traitor?"
"I was testing her." Danzo replied instantly. He was a cautious person, but he knew a conspirator when he saw one. He was quite certain that she was not one. "Also, teaching her where she belongs. She's being too emotional and I won't accept that in the shinobi I command."
"I understand."
"Good." Danzo quickly signed an order for Sakura to be released from the room she was being held in and handed it to Sasuke. "I expect you to have a word with her. For her sake."
The Uchiha took the scroll and nodded his head to Danzo before leaving the room. He decided to immediately head to the room Sakura was being held in; he needed to talk with her. Sasuke was well aware that everything he had said was true. Sakura had great potential and she was smart. She would be able to put her personal feelings aside any day if she wanted to. But that was the key word; wanted to. Sakura was too pushed by her sense of righteousness. She had always cared for other people. Sasuke knew how Sakura thought and worked. And even though he knew that she had the ability to put her feelings aside for missions, he wasn't sure that she would want to.
-x-
Sakura would've been pacing around the room she was being kept in if it hadn't been for the root ANBU that was constantly watching her every move. She was barely managing to keep a calm demeanor, on the brink of losing her mind any minute.
The couple minutes that she'd spent sitting in that room had contradictorily felt like an eternity and like the blink of an eye. On one hand, she couldn't wait to know if Sasuke had managed to talk Danzo down. On the other hand, the time could never be enough to prepare for everything that may happen if things went wrong. What would she do? Would she run away? Would she allow Danzo to interrogate her and risk everything? Would she tell Sasuke the truth?
She couldn't stop blaming herself and everyone else for what had happened. Yes, she had acted on impulse – again – and jeopardized her mission. But Sasuke and Kakashi had also been wrong when hiding such a matter from her. They should've told her about the real objective of their mission. She wondered if they had talked and decided to keep it from her. She felt a pang of disappointment and betrayal at the thought.
Her thoughts were interrupted when someone knocked on the door. She straightened herself and watched as the root ANBU stationed there headed to the entrance. When he opened up, Sasuke to entered the room and handed the masked man a scroll. He quickly read through it and nodded at Sasuke, then left.
Sakura was tempted to feel relieved at the fact that the ANBU had left, which probably meant that they were letting her go. However, when she looked at Sasuke's stern face, she wondered if her assumptions were correct. Her gaze lingered on him for a couple of seconds and he knew what she was thinking right away.
"Danzo-sama has decided to grant you a leave and his trust." Sasuke told her and she sighed in relief. Before she could think of anything else, he added. "But you and I need to have a word. Now."
Sakura felt her heart drop and she watched as he reopened the door and nodded towards the hallway. She quietly stood up and walked with him out of the building. It didn't take long for Sakura to figure out where Sasuke was taking her. If he wanted to talk to her privately, he would obviously want to do it at his place like he had on previous occasions. He wasn't the kind of person to have an argument in public.
The journey was quiet and tense. She was aware that Sasuke was upset with her – with good reason too. But she couldn't help the feelings that dwelled inside of her too. She was still agitated by the events that had just conspired, by the fact that she had almost blown everything up. Also, the knowledge that her teammates had lied to her – she had asked them about the mission earlier that day – was making her honestly feel… sad.
She also wondered what Sasuke wanted to talk to her about. Had Danzo really decided to let her go just like that? Was there something else going on? Was Sasuke going to ask her about her secrets? Was he simply going to criticize her about her actions? She threw a couple of glances his way, only to see him staring at the road ahead. His face was tense and his eyes were sharp. However, there was no indication on what was going on in his head.
When they got to the apartment complex, Sasuke quietly lead the way to his floor and door. He opened it silently and allowed Sakura to enter first. She took her shoes off and entered the living room. She was reminded of the day Sasuke had confronted her about her outburst as she left the hospital; the day when she realized Kabuto had gone back in time too. She felt just as conflicted too. Sasuke seemed disturbed as well, just like that day.
The Uchiha silently walked into his living room and stopped in the middle of it. His still form was no more than a meter away from her and his eyes were boring into her own. Sakura swallowed in anticipation, waiting for him to speak. He finally closed his eyes and spoke with barely contained anger.
"What on earth is going through your head?" his opened his eyes and they narrowed at her. "Do you even realize what you did? You were almost named as a traitor for speaking up to him that way. I'm not even mentioning your career."
"God, I know." She pressed into her temples with the tips of her fingers. "But, Sasuke. What was I supposed to do? Stay quiet?"
"Yes." Sasuke took a step closer to her and pointed at her. "That's exactly what you were supposed to do. Did you think that anything was going to change just because you spoke your mind to him?"
"I know." Sakura closed her eyes tightly. "I know that nothing would've happened."
"Then why would you do such a thing? It was reckless and stupid. You're not a child."
"I can't just sit by as I watch injustice happen! The least I could do was speak my mind. I couldn't just accept what he had ordered us to do! We can't just let him decide such a thing!"
"We are shinobi, Sakura." Sasuke growled and scowled. "It's not up to us to decide what a mission is about. We're only meant to follow orders."
"I don't care!" Sakura snapped. "I don't give a fuck about orders!"
"Are you listening to yourself?!" Sasuke raised his voice and grabbed her arm. "How can you say something like that and expect to be a shinobi?"
"No, Sasuke. That's not the point." She took a deep breath in. "The reason I'm a shinobi is because I want to protect people. We could've saved them…"
"No. It was not in our hands, Sakura."
"What are you talking about? We could've done something! We could've helped them escape. We could've sank the ship and told Danzo that we had completed our mission. We could've helped them find a way out and build a life somewhere else. But now…" Sakura chocked on her tears, the memories of the people she'd led to slavery fresh in her mind. "Now it's too late. We can't help them. Who knows where they are now… who knows what kind of atrocities they're going through at this moment."
Sakura closed her eyes tightly, her tears falling freely down her cheeks. Sasuke's hand released her forearm and then she felt skin wiping her tears away. She opened her emerald orbs again to see Sasuke's thumb softly caressing her cheek, his scowl completely gone and his face softer now. He looked into her eyes for a moment and then pressed his lips into a thin line as he sighed.
"I know, Sakura. Don't think for one moment that I feel good about it."
Sakura saw the grief in his eyes and knew that he wasn't lying. But that didn't explain his actions. "Really? Sasuke, you knew all this time about the human trafficking! I… I can't believe it! How could you just let things like that slide? You completed the mission anyways… You knew. Damn it. You knew. And how could you not tell me? You knew that I would've been against that from the start."
"I wanted to, ok?!" Sasuke retorted. "You think it was easy for me to hide it when you asked? I knew how much it mattered to you and that's why I didn't want you to know."
"What?" her eyes widened. "I can't believe it! You hid it from me because you wanted me to act against my own code of ethics?"
"Stop assuming things." Sasuke clenched his jaw. "I did it because if you knew… you would've suffered. And you still could've done nothing against it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you think that those slaves would've been freed simply by letting them leave?"
"I don't unders-" her words died in her throat. Her mind immediately understood what he was hinting at. "A jutsu?"
"Aa." He tiredly passed a hand through his hair. "A contract signed by blood – and by force, obviously. The slavers are in complete control of those people… if they don't get to the destination they can kill them in a spit second, no matter how far they are."
"I… such a thing exists?"
Sasuke nodded. "Do you understand now? There was nothing we could do for those people, Sakura. To free them we would've had to track the slavers down first and the blood contract too. And that would've required a much bigger amount of manpower. I'm not even getting into how much trouble we would've gotten into if found disobeying orders."
"There was really nothing we could do at the time…" Sakura trailed off. "That also means… that they will probably never be free. They'll be slaves until they die…"
Sasuke saw the disheartened expression on her face and looked down. His eyes darkened at the sight of it. His hand moved to softly close around her own and he stayed quiet for a couple more seconds before speaking again. "Do you understand now why we kept this from you?"
"So Kakashi knew about this too?"
"He was the one who told to me about it while you were gathering firewood." Sasuke explained. "He knew that it was going to upset you and that you might react badly. It seems he was right."
"Honestly, I don't know how I would've reacted if I'd known the whole truth." Sakura looked down at the floor. "I almost screwed things up for myself back there."
"Aa." Sasuke sighed again. "You're lucky that I was there to talk Danzo out of it. He expects you to follow orders from now on. Without complaint." Sasuke eyes Sakura intently, trying to see her reaction to his words.
"Sasuke…" Sakura frowned, knowing that she couldn't make such a promise. "You know I can't do that."
Sasuke bit his lip and closed his eyes tightly. Sakura wondered what he was thinking about, because his face was completely blank. He finally opened his eyes and stared deeply into her own. His obsidian orbs were softer and he seemed almost… understanding. His hand – that was still holding her right one – tightened slightly and he chuckled.
"I know."
"I… I'm sorry." Sakura looked down, feeling slightly distraught about the fact that she wouldn't do as she was told. She knew what was expected of her. But she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she simply completed missions that went against her ethics without question. She looked up at Sasuke, wondering if he was disappointed.
"Don't be sorry." Sasuke answered. His face was blank, but his eyes were intense. "I knew from the very start that this was how it would go."
"Sasuke, I'm really so-"
"Don't." he interrupted her. "I understand how you think and why you do the things you do. Sakura. You're the most principled person I know. Sometimes I wish I was as brave as you, but I'm not."
"You are!" Sakura widened her eyes and felt her cheeks burn at his words.
"Not in that way, but I'm not ashamed by that." Sasuke shook his head. "But don't be sorry for being like that. It's something that I truly value about you."
Sakura had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling like an idiot. Sasuke – the controlled, stoic, level-headed person she knew – had basically said that he respected her for being a reckless, emotional, rebellious wreck. Who would've thought. Before she could think anything else, he spoke up again.
"You're blushing again." There was a playful smirk on his face.
"Well, you're embarrassing me." Sakura frowned and Sasuke's smirk widened at her excuse, knowing it wasn't true.
"I should be the one to apologize." He stated. It was just like him to indirectly do so.
"Why?" her eyebrow raised in question.
"I… didn't react as well as I should've when we got here." He sighed. "I couldn't afford to lose control while with Danzo, so it was all just delayed until we were inside my apartment."
"You did a good job a masking your uneasiness. I didn't notice it at all."
"Unease doesn't cover it." Sasuke snorted and then he looked down at the floor under his feet. He stayed quiet for a long time. Sakura swore a whole minute passed in which he didn't look up at her and kept a thoughtful expression. He finally looked up at her and there was determination in his eyes. "I was… afraid doesn't cover it either. I was franctic. I almost lost my mind back there."
"Sasuke…" Sakura softened her eyes, regretting having put him through that. But she didn't understand. "Why?"
Sasuke chuckled, as if he'd been expecting her to ask that question. His free hand – the other one was still holding on to her fingers – moved upwards and stopped right in between her neck and chin. It softly cupped the side of her jaw and his thumb caressed along her jawline.
"I thought that Danzo would over-react and… decide to do something that hurt you." Sasuke bit his lower lip for a moment. "I can't bear the thought of losing you too."
If Sakura's blush hadn't been noticeable before, it certainly was now. Her whole face flushed crimson and she wanted to cover her face badly, not wanting to be caught like that. But Sasuke's hand was holding her chin up and staring directly into her eyes, so she decided against it. She pressed her lips together and averted her eyes, her heart drumming in her chest. She was honestly scared of asking. Afraid that he would realize what she was thinking and that he would push her away. But she needed to know.
"Why?" by now, her fingers were trembling slightly and, to her dismay, Sasuke's hand was around them.
"Why?" Sasuke repeated her question and his hand tightened around her own. Sakura kept looking away from him and simply nodded, not wanting to speak since her voice would probably fail if she did.
Sasuke's hold on her chin adjusted and he lifted her head slightly, urging her to face him. Her eyes widened as she stared into his eyes. She was a mess, a complete mess. Her hands were trembling, her voice was probably gone by now, and her mind wasn't able to form any coherent thoughts. On the other hand, Sasuke seemed to be in complete control of himself.
He lowered his face and moved a bit closer, until his lips were only a palm away from her, and then he stopped. He watched her intently, trying to read her. The hand that was on her chin, moved to her neck slowly and Sakura shivered under his touch. His breath was fanning over her nose and lips, and it was honestly driving her crazy. She knew what was going to happen, and she had a hard time believing it was not a dream.
Sasuke stared at her lips and bit his own, not saying a word, not moving an inch closer. He had already shown what his intentions were, but he wasn't going to act on assumptions alone. Sakura knew that too. She gathered herself – how come this was as hard as doing an S-ranked mission? – and moved closer until her lips were a centimeter away from his.
Before Sakura could dwell anymore on the way his breath and warmth felt to close to her, Sasuke closed the distance between them. His lips were soft against hers, the kiss was tentative and just above a brush on her skin. The hand that was on her neck moved so that it held the back of her head to push her a bit more into the kiss. Sakura raised her free hand and lightly placed it on one side of his face. Sasuke kissed her with a bit more intention on her lower lip, but it was somehow still smooth.
Sakura wasn't feeling all crazy with goose-bumps and butterflies – while there was some of that, yes, it wasn't as much of the hallucinating experience that she had imagined in her early teens – but it still felt incredibly good. As her eyes were closed, all that she could feel was his warm hand on the back of her head, his other hand still holding her fingers and his lips on top of hers. His lips weren't incredibly soft – not that she had expected them to be – but they nonetheless felt soft against her own.
In her past life, Sakura had always imagined that Sasuke's kisses would be… strong. She had always known him as a slightly violent and rough person. But this Sasuke was not the one she had known back then. He was the same, but at the same time a different version of himself. He was being so careful with her. She had never really imagined him to be so… gentle. And god. That meant so much to her. He had waited until she moved to kiss him too, wanting to be sure that she was willing. He had not – against all odds – pushed her against a wall and taken her without any considerations.
Sasuke slowly pulled back a bit, giving them room to properly breathe. Sakura opened her eyes and stared into his obsidian ones, as they breathed each other's air. She didn't feel uneasy at all, but the overwhelming notion of what had just happened caught up to her and she felt her eyes tear up. She would've beaten herself up for reacting like that in front of him, but she honestly didn't care anymore. Sakura wasn't afraid of him, as in him attacking, mistreating or humiliating her. She smiled at him, realizing that he thankfully wasn't even bothered by her tears. Actually, he didn't even seem to recognize them. Maybe he had always known of her feelings for him and wasn't surprised. Sasuke fully moved away from her, his hand never letting go of hers though, and smirked in amusement.
"It appears that my number one fangirl is back."
Sakura chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Well, you just destroyed the moment."
"What moment?" Sasuke furrowed his brow in fake confusion.
Sakura laughed a bit and then nodded her head at him. "My father's going to be exhilaratedwhen he finds out."
Sasuke's amusement slipped from his face for it to be replaced by slight annoyance. His voice answered with clear irony, but the comfort still remained in his tone. "Aa… I just can't wait for the day."
That day, as Sasuke walked her back home, Sakura realized something. Things between them seemed the same as before. They talked about the same things and the silence between them was just as comfortable too. However, something felt radically different in the atmosphere – or maybe it was just Sakura's impression.
Because she felt that, even though they had been close to each other before, there was a different kind of closeness now. It permeated the way they moved around and looked at the each other. It filled her up in a way that his presence hadn't before.
A/N: Hey!
So…. OMG. Finally, right? What did you think about this chapter? I always love your feedback.
Please tell me your opinion on the mission, on how Sakura stood up to Danzo and how Sasuke reacted. What about the Sasusaku conversation? Any thoughts on Kakashi?
Did you like the chapter? Was anyone OOC? Yes? No?
I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Actually, this was supposed to be part of chapter 37… but I had the feeling it was going to turn out to be too long. Thankfully I decided to split it, because otherwise it would've been 15k long LOL.
I want to thank by beta-reader, MonochromeAce for revising this in such a short period of time! She's all busy with the end of her semester, but still managed to do it.
Thank you all for reading and reviewing!