Rick was still cooking when Martha, Alexis and Johnny got back. Johnny was exhausted, but denied it, and even Alexis looked a little drained.
"Did you have fun?" Rick asked.
Alexis nodded. "It was, ah, very exciting," she said, looking at Johnny. Johnny looked around.
"Where's my Mommy?" he said, rather too loudly.
Martha sighed, and said she was going upstairs. Alexis looked apologetically at her father, and said she was going upstairs to call Max. Johnny asked again, even louder.
"Where's Mommy?!"
Rick tried to calm him.
"Why don't you go upstairs and put your pyjamas on, and then I'll come up and tell you a story in a few minutes?"
"No! I want my Mommy!" Johnny yelled, building up for a full scale tantrum.
"Mommy's resting right now-"
"Mommy!" Johnny screamed, and began to cry. Rick tried to comfort him, but he just screamed louder when Rick came close. Rick opened the French windows – Kate was still sitting, looking out at the ocean. Johnny was still screaming – and as soon as she heard him, Kate came running inside. She didn't hug him though. She stood in the doorway, her voice quiet, icy and firm.
"Johnny. It's past your bedtime. Go upstairs, get ready for bed, and I will be up in a minute."
He took a deep breath, then began to shout again.
"No! I don't want to go to bed! I'm not tired!"
Kate waited until he had stopped screaming, keeping her face stony.
"John Richard, go upstairs right now, and get ready for bed. I will be there in ten minutes. I'm going back outside now – if you are not in your bed, with clean teeth, in ten minutes when I come up, there will be trouble."
Rick watched, stunned, as Johnny stopped screaming, pouted, and walked slowly upstairs. Kate saw his expression, caught his eye, shrugged, and went back outside. She was still thinking. She was still frightened. She had no idea if she was doing the right thing. At least Johnny still did what she said.
The ten minutes passed, and as they did, she put everything in a box, and locked it tight.
Johnny was in bed, and he had been crying. He sat up when she came in. She sat on the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. She pulled him into a hug.
"That's okay," she said gently, and held him tight. "Did you have a good day?"
Johnny smiled. "Yeah. It was great. I like boats."
Kate smiled. "That's good. You ready to sleep now?"
"Can I have a story?"
Kate hated this part. "'Fraid not, honey. You were screaming and arguing, you know the rules."
"But..." Johnny said quietly.
"Sorry, Johnny. But it's okay – you settle down to sleep now, I'll kiss you goodnight, and there'll be a story tomorrow."
Johnny sighed. "Okay." He lay down, and Kate tucked him in, and kissed him goodnight.
"Goodnight Mommy. I love you," he whispered.
"Goodnight Johnny. I love you too."
Kate went back downstairs, where Rick was waiting for her. He had finished their dinner – home made Chinese. She bit her lip. He looked at her – his blue eyes had a way of piercing her soul, and she knew he could tell something was wrong.
"Kate," he said quietly, "should I be worried?"
She thought hard. "I don't know. No. I'm with you... I'm just scared."
"Of what?"
"Everything."
Rick smiled. "So is everyone else. You don't have to do it all in one. Just keep taking baby steps."
"You're scared? What are you scared of?"
Rick took her hand.
"I'm scared that I won't be enough. Every day, I wake up wondering if you'll still be here, and I thank God I haven't driven you away – but I'm always scared I will. I know I'm an idiot – I make bad decisions – I made so many. And I'm scared that you will decide that I'm not a good father for your son, and that you don't want me in your life – which would be completely justified, of course. I left – it was stupid, but it made me better, I think. But I'm scared you won't forgive me. I'm scared you'll leave. I'm scared Alexis will give up on me. I'm scared people will finally realise I'm a lazy asshole who sits around all day making shit up for far too much money. And most of all, now, I'm scared that you won't want to be with me."
Kate took a deep breath. "You're not a lazy asshole, Rick."
He smiled. "A lot of people would disagree."
"No they wouldn't."
She kissed him gently, and he wiped away the tears streaking down her face.
"What are you scared of, Kate?"
She bit her lip. "I'm scared to let go."
"To let go of what?"
"Of my mother. Of my pain. Of... suffering alone, being strong and useful. I... I want to be more than who I am. But I'm scared that I can't. I've built up so many walls... and I... I'm scared they won't come down."
Rick kept his hand on her face. "They don't have to come down. I'll climb over them if I have to. You're worth it."
She leaned into his palm, and he smiled gently. She smiled back.
"You, climb a wall?" she managed to joke. He laughed.
"There you are. I've missed you, this afternoon. And, yes, I can climb walls."
Kate laughed too. "I don't believe you. You'll have to show me."
"I will. Tomorrow. Johnny'll think I really am a superhero. Are you hungry?"
Kate nodded. "But, you made Chinese. So we should eat it in bed."
"Ooh, she says what she wants. Your wish is my command, detective. Would you bring the wine?"
Kate bit her lip. "No. I don't want to drink."
Rick looked at her searchingly, and she stared back with as much defiance as she could muster.
"Okay. No wine. Some water, then?"
Kate grabbed two bottles of water, and followed him upstairs. He went to his room, and she sat on the bed, tucking herself in. He put a plate on her lap, and handed her some chopsticks. Then he settled himself beside her. They ate quietly, and when they were finished, Rick put the plates on the floor. He took a swig of water.
"Can I guess why you don't want to drink?" he asked.
"Sure."
"Will you tell me if I get it right?"
"If you get it right, yeah."
He smiled. "I think you don't want to drink, because we haven't had sex yet, this time around. And when we did, before, the first time, we were both drunk out of our minds. And although we did it again when we were sober, you aren't sure if we would have done any of it if it hadn't been for all that drinking on the first night. And I hope you don't want to drink, because you want to have sex. Am I at least warm?"
Kate smiled. "It's a very good suggestion. And you are warm, I guess. I mean, it's a factor. But... if it's okay, I don't want to have sex. I assume I'm still bound by the selfish and honest thing?"
"You threw the game, so it's kind of up to you. But, say, for the sake of argument, you are – do you want to have sex?"
"No. I want to have... fun. But not that much."
"Why are you waiting? Not that I mind, I mean, there are lots of totally valid reasons – I'm just curious."
Kate blushed. "You'll think it's really stupid."
"I promise not to laugh."
"Okay... I don't want to have sex because I think it's... well, important. Or, I want it to be important. It's possible to have mindless sex, one night stand type stuff. But we've already done that. I want to wait until doing that with you is doing it with someone I..." she trailed off. It was on the tip of her tongue. Someone I'm in love with. But she didn't say it. She didn't need to. Rick understood already.
"It's not stupid. I think it's...awesome," he said, borrowing her word from earlier. She couldn't help but laugh, even though he'd said it with such a serious expression. He laughed too, and she fell into his warm body, and he held her tight.
"So, why the lack of alcohol, then?"
"Well, the rest of what you said is right. I want to enjoy this while I'm sober."
"Enjoy what, exactly?" he said, and she laughed. She kissed him, letting it last until she really had to breathe. She pulled away, gasping. Rick sighed.
"You can do better than that. I thought you were a swimmer?"
Kate laughed. "I prefer martial arts."
"You should learn that round breathing thing. We should both do it – then we could kiss forever."
"Nah. We'd get bored if we could kiss forever."
"Now I have to prove you wrong. Before I start – what's a kiss? I mean, as long as one mouth is involved, that counts?"
Kate laughed, and nodded.
"Okay. Please note the time – it is 8.34pm. Since we just have one night, what time should we call 'forever'?"
Kate laughed more, and didn't answer. Rick took off his shirt, and moved in to take hers off too.
"I'm going to say, midnight? So, if you're bored before midnight, I'm wrong. Deal?"
Kate nodded, grinning at him. "What if I fall asleep?"
"I suppose we'll have to count that as bored. I don't suppose I'm allowed to feed you coffee?"
"Nope. No stimulants."
"Ah, Beckett. I am your stimulant."
"I'm bored already," she said, lying back against the headboard. He rolled his eyes at her, and undid her shorts, then slid her out of them. He tugged her down the bed so she was lying flat on her back – and according to his terms, proved her wrong.
At midnight, Kate said she wanted to go and wash up.
"The dirty plates have been keeping me awake," she said. Rick made a face, and threw his shirt at her. He put on his boxers, and picked up the plates. They crept downstairs, and quietly cleaned the dishes. When that was done, Rick winked at her.
"Permission to gloat?"
"Permission granted. Although, it might affect what I want to do now."
"I'm intrigued. What do you want to do now?"
"Well. You were proving a point. And you did persuade me."
"I know. You agreed with me very enthusiastically. Several times. In fact, you were so vocal in your agreement we had to cover your mouth so you didn't disturb everyone else."
Kate blushed, but she was smiling. "So. As I was saying, you brought me around to your way of thinking. And I think it's my turn to keep you, uh, not bored."
Rick grinned. "That is a good suggestion. Back to the bedroom, then?"
She took his hand, and pulled him upstairs with her. He laughed. She looked at the clock.
"So, until four?"
Rick smiled. "As long as you want – you're still bound to be selfish."
"I have a very powerful conscience. If I'm not being fair, I'm not happy."
"Okay. Then, until four, or until you're tired. And no – I didn't get coffee, so neither do you."
She stuck her tongue out at him, then locked his bedroom door.
Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it, and please review. I've had a few reviews saying Rick (and one saying Kate too) is OOC - though I'm trying to keep them in character, they're in situations which the TV characters haven't ever been in, so it has to come out of my head. If you want TV Caskett, have a Castle marathon (and honestly, what better thing could you do with your Saturday?). That said, I know what I write can't appeal to everyone, and I thank you for reading as much as you have, and taking the time to leave a comment. You're awesome - I am still chuffed when one person follows my story - when hundreds of people do it, it's almost scary. I will always be grateful for ALL your reviews, and I think you are wonderful people! Loads of love and hugs, Z xxx