I couldn't sleep. The storm outside lasted a lot longer than everyone expected, so the power was still out, but Mother Nature was starting to tamper off somewhat. The generator that was earlier promised to last a while did not and soon enough, after Ziva, McGee and I had settled into our rooms, darkness set in and creeping around candles. In the meantime, the hotel management was handing out matches and many more candles, cautioning everyone about them and lecturing about fire safety and that there was still no smoking on the property.

All was well it seemed as I settled in and started to actually read the book I brought with me, which had been kept (along with a lot of things) with Roy after I was kidnapped and sent to Henry Austin. Hell, I don't even think that I started reading a book since that long-ago Dad and I found Colonel Henderson dead, so I found it relaxing almost to sit back on the queen-sized bed and enjoy a good book.

However, events continued to conspire against me. Before I settled down completely and got into my story, there was a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I called out, expecting the cleaning lady to come in and yell at me about the lights (and the lighter in my bra if she noted its existence), but seeing Gibbs as soon as he opened and shut the door.

I scrambled into something resembling a proper sitting position, now expecting to be yelled at about something else. I was wrong this time to assume the worst. Gibbs stood at the foot of my bed, an expression of compassion and some softness in his eyes. It had been there when we first met, when he was asking me who could have done such a thing as murder these Marines. It had melted when I walked to the Navy Yard and woke up in Autopsy. Now, it had come back and I didn't know what to do with it or even if this was some sort of game Gibbs liked to play.

Slowly and reluctantly, I put my book down. "Isn't it almost your bedtime too?" I asked him, lightly sarcastic tones along those lines.

Gibbs shook his head, immediately taking a seat on the bed. "Aren't you supposed to be resting yourself?" he asked me in return, motioning to my red faces and arms.

I couldn't help by blush with embarrassment. "I am. I was reading a book like a good little girl. I enjoy doing that."

"And yet, you don't put your foot down to the director."

"Why should I? I'm only following her orders. And seeing as how you hate interns, Gibbs, I don't see how you care about me tagging along."

I knew that the comment to Gibbs would strike hard and it did a bit. The softness in his eyes disappeared and hardened into what I was used to ever since he showed me Felix's gross police records. His hands clenched together in a death grip, his knuckles turning to white. Even his ears seemed to have pointed back, one animal threatened by another.

"When you're with me, you're in my care," Gibbs only said, his voice cold.

"And look where we are right now." I sat up straighter, on the defense as my anger rose. "Our main suspects have vanished, one of them on a boat to the US, as far as I know. We've got no evidence leading anyone to the murders yet, except that they were at the scene, and Abby had something and would have told us if we had power. Some of the Haitian government has their hands in the Black Crusade and possibly the murders. Two of the three warehouses are shut down, but the third in DC is still operational, as well as its headquarters, and we don't know where they are. A lot of people are dead, my sister amongst them…"

I visibly choked at the mention of Mara, still remembering what Jay had told me, but continued anyhow. "We've got a Pentagon file, illegally gotten into, mind you, and very little ground gained ever since Director Shepard sent those agents down. Now, we need to raid the same headquarters once more. We're up against some pretty bad odds. We've got no plan. We even don't have enough agents because nobody seems to want to take the Black Crusade seriously, since it all seems to be a myth, in many agencies' eyes, I'm guessing.

"And, most importantly, you feel a responsibility towards me because you think that I can't handle myself. You think that I've already had enough to deal with and that this little trip that I was authorized to go on might make me break down. I mean, poor little Lydia Sullivan gets smacked around because her father knows that she's a rape child and takes his anger out of her the most instead of her mother, who self-destructed already. She found her mother's dead body and then found her sister dead. She was also sexually abused, on top of being mentally and physically abused, and has bad memories of everything."

I took a deep breath, expelling not only more sarcasm, but also how I was feeling, anger and frustration most of all, especially when I let out a secret that I've kept close to my heart for years now. "On top of that, ever since being initiated as some special agent for NCIS, I was raped, killed a man in self-defense, illegally created a fiery diversion to get out of a police station and survived an explosion. In addition, I got kidnapped, jumped out of a ship to avoid getting killed and have had trust issues with just about everyone, Felix Henderson most of all. Jesus, how can I pass a psych exam without raising red flags?"

If Gibbs had any other feeling he showed me, it would have been shock. I don't think anyone spoke to him so emotionally, so bluntly before. All in the same span of time, however, his blue eyes showed me more that he was thinking along those lines. He was thinking of why his own boss would want to employ an straight-A student in criminal sciences, studying under the best of the best, and was very trustworthy, but had a history of mental health that could make a psych file thicker than most. Already, they had an idea that I was shoving all of it to one side and putting my heart into the case first and foremost without getting personally involved. However, I showed no one that I was reacting personally to the case either, so they couldn't possibly figure out what was wrong with me.

And that, most of all, was dangerous. It was worse than being personally involved in a case.

Gibbs finally found his words, but it didn't address anything I said. "And that ring?"

"I remembered it from somewhere, but I don't know who it was that was wearing it." I turned away for a moment, to hide the tears that were swimming in my own eyes. "All I saw in my mind was the ring on his hand. It was a black hand on the silver band. I don't recall any other markings on it."

"And it's making you think that it was somebody close to you?"

I faced Gibbs. "It had to be, Gibbs. It just had to be."

"Your father, you think, or one of the elder Hendersons?"

"I don't think so. Colonel Henderson was after the Black Crusade and so was his brother after the changeover, remember. Dad was…well, one of them I guess, but it makes me wonder why he got to escape and why Felix's father was shot dead."

"He could have worn one of the rings they picked up."

"And not tell someone from NCIS about it? Very doubtful. Dad's careful about what he says and does. He protects his own, especially if it's in his interests and not his family. To own a ring from the Black Crusade because he was role-playing might be saving not only his own life, but maybe ours, as well as his girlfriend's too. The cars passing by may not be someone watching him because he's an enemy, but someone who might be thinking he has their interests in mind. He could be making himself out to be a victim when he really isn't."

Gibbs didn't quite look convinced, seeing as how he knew that Dad didn't care too much for me anyway. He only nodded in agreement.

"And Felix?" he asked me. "Any of his cousins you know?"

"No, I only knew Felix and his uncle," I confirmed. "I don't know his only cousin, Victor. I don't even know his brother."

"And you've been battling as to why you should or should not trust Felix?"

"Because he's been there for me, no matter what," I replied hotly. "Felix has been covering my ass for as far back as I can remember. He's offered me a roof over my head when I needed it, put a shoulder out for me to cry on when I wanted one and has understood what it means to be an abused child, especially a child of a dangerous veteran. Now, after seeing him on the boat before jumping away from Henry Austin, I don't know. He seems different than what he used to be and it's disturbing me. I sincerely believe him involved now."

"And Keith Bolton? Your boyfriend who seems to be just as dangerous as the others?"

"Ex," I corrected, but the pain in my heart remained for the break-up he sent me over the phone. "Yes, he's dangerous, but like I told you, and probably what Ziva told you too, he didn't do anything. He doesn't have the gall to be taking down a Vietnam veteran, and a couple of them at that. He plays tough with Dad when they're together, but knows that he can't beat him either. However, he can manipulate anything to be a weapon, no matter how hurt he feels. There's always the strength to beat your opponent."

Gibbs nodded again. It seemed like my logic had some solidity to it and the past and present had been where I had taken my hints. However, he was not satisfied with something, even though I admitted that I believed Felix involved with the Black Crusade.

"You know what would make you feel better?" Gibbs asked me randomly, unclenching his hands and allowing some color back into them.

"What?" I was ready for anything, especially after this case was done.

"Punch your father. Beat him, even if you can't win."

I was surprised and it showed.

"He touches you one more time, puts a hand on you, punch him," Gibbs clarified. "He might have the training you don't have and you both will get arrested, but it'll close a lot of wounds."

"And if I die in the effort, like last time?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, causing me to wave my hand aside to dismiss telling a tale. "It's a long story, Gibbs, maybe for another night."

"It's not going to affect you being an agent, if that's what you're worried about –"

"No," I interrupted, not intending to be rude. "No. It's not that. It's that I don't think it a fair advantage. Jay, well, he ran for his life. He became a Marine after trying to go to school and having a job didn't work out for him. Mara didn't even bother fighting back and ran away with her son when she could and refused all help."

"Well, you have the chance that they didn't," Gibbs pointed out. "You die, your father gets charged with murder, amongst other things, and gets put away. It's justice."

"And me?" I was being selfish and I knew it.

"You'd have the satisfaction of trying and dying, knowing that you fought back. It was a good attempt at closure too." Gibbs smiled and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "It's not your fault that you were born under different circumstances than your siblings, Lydia. You take the best of what you have and you make a difference if you can. You're your father's daughter. You're a Marine's daughter. Somewhere, you have a well of strength that Captain Gregory Sullivan left behind in you."

I smiled, my words being echoed by a former Marine.

"Besides," Gibbs added as he got up, releasing me from his grip as he heard Tony in the hallway, "if you fought and lost, I'd be there to finish the job for you."

I had to smile wider for that. "Promise?"

"Oh, me?" Gibbs played innocent better than I could. "I wouldn't kill him outright."

Finally, Gibbs turned away from me and went to the door, opening it to call Tony in. As the Very Special Senior Agent Tony DiNozzo came in and saw Gibbs in my room, he winked at me, as if he and I had something going on and that it was secret. However, Gibbs had turned back into the tough agent that he was and stared at Tony with his famous glare.

"What is it, DiNozzo?" Gibbs growled, livid at being interrupted.

"Umm, Boss, we have a problem," Tony replied calmly. "We have somebody out front at the hotel with an army of men and women behind him."

"So?" Gibbs sounded impatient, urging Tony to go on.

"Yeah, well, it's Henry Austin and his son," Tony finally let out. "He came back from his quick cruise to the US and is demanding to talk to you and to you alone. He wants to negotiate."

"He can't do that," I muttered, saying the most obvious and stupid statement.

Tony inclined his head towards me. "Yes, he can, Lyddy, and if we don't do what he wants, a lot of people are going to be killed here tonight."