Chapter 35

Endless Waiting

26 July 1997

"Kate, would you please sit down?" Molly said in exasperation.

I was pacing the length of the Burrow's kitchen and lounge. I'd been pacing the same stretch for two hours, and considering I was now at thirty-six weeks and both felt and looked like I was about to pop, that was saying something.

"Mum, just give her some more calming draught," Ginny said.

"No. She cannot 'ave more of zat for anozer 'our," Fleur defended.

"No. I don't want any more that," I said. "It hasn't worked all night."

The four of us were waiting, worrying, and, in my case, pacing. The Order had gone to pick up Harry from Privet Drive for the final time. They were using six Harry decoys and flying to various safe houses before portkeying to the Burrow. Remus and Jonathan, of course, were among them and I was frantic with fear. Two of the portkeys had arrived with no one attached. This could only mean that something had gone awry.

"Where are they? They should have been here by now," I continued.

"Honestly, Kate, if you don't sit down and calm down…"

"Not until I know my boys are safe!"

"Your boys?" Molly said, highly affronted. She quickly marched over to me. "Do I need to remind you that your family are not the only ones risking their lives tonight? My husband is out there as well, along with four of my children, seven if you count Harry, Hermione, and Jonathan which you know I have always treated them as members of this family. I won't even being to recount what the others mean to me. I know you are pregnant; I know you are just as worried I am, but your pacing helps no-one and your worry most certainly does not help the baby. So, sit! Down!"

I promptly lowered my tush to the nearest chair.

"You're right, Molly. I'm sorry. I…"

Suddenly a blue light illuminated the back yard and I jumped from my seat and rushed outside. Harry and Hagrid had just arrived via portkey. I quickly took Harry into my arms and looked him over.

"Where are the others?" Molly asked.

"What do you mean? Hasn't anyone else made it back yet?" Harry replied. Our faces must have given us away because he quickly carried on.

"They knew. The Death Eaters knew it was tonight. They were waiting for us as soon as we took off. Four of them chased us before Voldemort showed up himself. The others, I… I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Zey knoo? 'Ow did zey know?"

"Oh, let's not worry about that now," Molly said before pulling Harry into her own arms. "Thank goodness you're all right."

"Yer wouldn' have any brandy, would yer, Molly? Fer, er— medicinal purposes?" Hagrid asked.

"Of course, just one moment." After a placing a quick kiss to the top of Harry's head, she turned and headed inside. I knew as a friend I should have followed her, but I found myself incapable of movement at the moment.

"Ron and Tonks were supposed to be here first," Ginny said quietly. "But their portkey arrived without them. Dad and Fred were to be next; you and Hagrid were actually supposed to be third. If…" Ginny paused and I could feel her eyes flick to me. "Remus and George should arrive in a few minutes."

"Was Dolohov there?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Who?" Hagrid asked.

"Antonin Dolohov. My father. Was he there, Harry?"

"I… I'm sorry, Kate. I don't know. They were all in masks and hoods. I didn't see him, but they were everywhere. He wouldn't have known which one…of me… Jonathan was though."

"No. But he would have recognized Remus. He would have gone after him, and he would have pursued him relentlessly. Given the chance, he'd…"

I trialed off as a blue light appeared a few feet away. I covered my mouth with my hands and held my breath as it steadily grew brighter. Molly returned and stood by my side, her hand on my shoulder in comfort. The light vanished and in its place stood Remus and George, but something was wrong.

Remus was covered in blood and supporting an unconscious George. Harry quickly rushed forward and helped him carry George inside. I followed after them, despite the blood burning my nose. I moved much slower than the others though, and I had only just made it inside when Remus suddenly turned on Harry. He dragged him back into the kitchen and held him against the wall.

"Oi! Le' go of him! Le' got of Harry!" Hagrid yelled from behind me. Remus, however, ignored him.

"What creature was delivered to me the first time Harry Potter visited my office at Hogwarts?"

"What's this about?"

"Answer me!" Remus demanded with a shake. I saw his hand flinch over his wand holster, ready to draw.

"A… a grindylow, right?" Harry replied. He looked to me for clarification. "Kate was there too, or Professor Porter rather. Then we had tea together."

Remus released Harry with a sigh, but then he turned to me. I didn't even have time to get a short breath in before he pushed his lips roughly against mine.

"You all right?" he whispered, lips brushing against mine still.

"Better now," I replied.

"Jonathan?"

"He…he's not back yet."

"Right," he nodded. "Right; he's not supposed to be yet."

"Wha' was tha' about?" Hagrid asked, finally getting through the door.

Remus stepped back from me and looked back at Harry apologetically.

"Sorry about that, Harry, but I had to be sure you were you. They knew we were moving you tonight. The only ones who knew the plan were those directly involved in it. I had to make sure you weren't an imposter."

Harry nodded in understanding, though it was clear he was still a bit shaken.

"Why aren' you checkin' me an' Kate?" Hagrid asked, sounding a little offended.

"Because, you're half giant and Polyjuice potion only works on human transformation," Remus replied, to which Hagrid nodded as well. The Remus held out his hand for mine and drew me in again. "And I knew it was Kate because of her…distinct smell."

"How… lovely, dear," I said with a dramatic eye roll.

"Would you rather I say you smell like an overgrown cat?"

Remus was not being insensitive like it may have seemed. He was simply falling back on a tactic that few knew about. He tired teasing and jesting when he was truly frightened, so as to keep the truth from me. One good look in his eyes, however, and I knew all I needed to know. Dolohov had been there, and he had pursued Remus vigorously.

"At least if he was chasing me as hard as he was then he wasn't going after Jonathan," Remus said, reading my eyes in turn.

I nodded, though it was a small consolation.

"Do you think he'll be all right?" Harry asked, breaking up our moment. I followed his gaze over to the couch where Molly, Ginny, and Fleur were all bent over tending to George.

The tension in Remus' shoulders seemed to deflate in defeat. "Yes, I believe so. But… there won't be any chance of replacing his ear, not when it was cursed off the way it was."

I rubbed a hand over his arm. Suddenly there was another light in the yard. Remus rushed out the door with orders for me to stay put, orders I did not follow. I waddled down the steps and out into the night to find Hermione and Kingsley; the latter had his wand aimed at Remus' chest.

"The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?" Kingsley asked.

"Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him," Remus replied. Kingsley then directed his wand towards Harry, but Reus waved him down. "It's him; I've already checked."

"We've been betrayed. They knew it was tonight. Someone must have told."

"No!" Harry said firmly. "No one in the Order gave it away."

"Harry," Remus began but Harry cut him off.

"They couldn't have. They didn't know there would be seven of me. They didn't know which one was really me until the end. If one of us told, then why only give half the plan?"

"What do you mean they didn't know until the end? How could they have figured it out?" I asked.

"I…I'm not sure. But Voldemort showed up just before we reached Tonks' parents place, and he knew it was me."

"How? What did you do? How did they recognize you?" Remus asked.

"I… I'm not sure. They were all over us; it was chaos. They got…Hedwig…" He swallowed roughly and I could see the pain he was trying desperately to hide.

"Then I… I saw Stan Shunpike, you know, the conductor of the Knight Bus. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's imperiused; I saw it. So I disarmed him and they just…fell back. Then Voldemort showed up; they must have summoned him."

"Wait. You disarmed Shunpike?" Remus asked. "Harry, the time for disarming is past. If you're not ready to kill, then at least stun."

"If I'd stunned him and he fell, it would have been the same as killing him!" Harry defended.

"He's right Remus," I said.

"Kate," Remus sighed, still clearly frustrated.

"It would have been no different than if I had left Dolohov to die in that fire. You didn't ridicule me then for my decision, so don't ridicule Harry now for his."

"But you were only…"

"Seventeen. The same age Harry is; a bit older in fact. And I had been held for a month and tortured almost daily. I had every reason, every right to leave him, but I didn't."

"Even with all that he's done since?"

"I didn't regret my decision then, and I can't regret it now. As much as I may wish him dead, it doesn't mean I have to be the one to do it, then nor now."

"But I do," Harry said softly. Remus and I quickly looked at him, startled by his statement.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, voice quivering slightly.

"That's what all this is about isn't it? That's why Voldemort wants to kill me so bad? Because of some stupid prophesy that he put stock in: neither can live while the other survives. Now I have to be the one to kill him.

"And I will," he added adamantly.

"Harry, don't…" I began but stopped short. Don't what? Harry waited for me to continue silently, but he seemed to know that I couldn't.

"I will do what needs to be done," he said firmly, looking at me. Then he turned to Remus and added, "But I won't blast innocent people out of my way to do so."

Then he stalked off towards the house. I turned to Remus, with tears clouding my eyes.

"He's too young for this; he shouldn't have to… He bears the weight of the world on his shoulders as though alone."

"But he isn't alone," Hermione said. "And I'll… I'll make sure he knows that, Professor. I promise." Then she followed after him leaving Kingsley, Remus, and me alone in the dark.

Remus pulled me to his chest and kissed my forehead, as I wept.

"Were are the others?" Kingsley asked.

I felt Remus shake his head on top of mine. "Not here; it's just us. Ron and Tonks, Fred and Arthur, they haven't made it yet. George… George is inside. He lost an ear, curtesy of Snape."

"Snape?" I pulled back and wiped my eyes. "Snape was after you too?"

"Better me than Jonathan."

"Perhaps, but we have no shortage of enemies out there who wish us and our children dead."

He took my face between his hands and pressed his forehead against mine.

"He'll be all right. We'll all…"

"Remus," Kingsley called. He pointed to the fence where two figures had arrived.

"Arthur!" I rushed forward.

"Kate, no!" Remus grabbed my arm as Fred rushed to meet us.

"Where's George? What's happened to him?" he asked franticly.

"Inside," I replied.

"Wait! Arthur, who…" Kingsley tried stopping him but Arthur forced his way inside.

"I'll prove who I am, Kingsley, after I've seen my son, now back off if you know what's good for you!" His voice carried across the yard. Remus and Kingsley turned to me as though looking for an explanation.

"You saw the look in their eyes as well as I did, Remus. They already knew something was wrong with George. As a father, I know you can understand the desire to tend to your family first."

"How did they know George was injured though?" Kingsley asked. I shrugged my shoulders, not having an answer for that.

"Fred," Hermione said, suddenly rejoining us in the yard. "Fred must have known. It's a… twin thing; I've read about it. It's said that twins share a special bond, that even when they're miles apart they can still sense when the other is in danger."

"There you have it," I said. And since I could see that he was about to protest, I carried on. "One thing you need to know about Miss Granger, Kingsley, if you don't already, is that she knows a good deal more than most."

"And she's nearly always right," Remus added.

"Nearly?" Hermione asked, taking offense.

"Well, there was that one time when you thought I was helping Sirius break into the castle and that I was out to kill Harry."

"Oh! ... Right." She looked genuinely disappointed. "Sorry about that, but all the facts were not presented to me at the time. I made the best, logical decision from those that were."

Remus smiled faintly. "And rightly so."

"She's also quite a capable duelist," Kingsley said. "You were impressive tonight, Hermione. You'd make a good Auror when you've completed your studies. Hell, you'd make a good Auror now."

Hermione beamed at the praise, but it was short lived. We were still the only ones in the yard. Six of our members were still unaccounted for. We all turned our eyes to the sky, but it remained unmoving.

Kingsley took up my mantel of pacing while the rest of us stood watch. Every sound, every whisper of wind made us turn and look, hoping to see our comrades soon. Harry and Ginny joined us silently after some time. As Harry stood beside me, I glanced down to see his fingers entwined with Ginny's. A glimmer of hope began to stir within me. If they could just hold out until the end of this war, they could bring each other so much happiness.

"It's them!" Hermione suddenly shouted.

I looked around quickly to see Ron and Tonks come to a skidding halt across the lawn. Hermione seemed to launch herself at Ron, while Tonks staggered her way over to me and Remus. She gave us each a great hug, before pulling back.

"He deserves that, Hermione; he really does," Tonks said. "He was brilliant up there. Stunned a Death Eater right in the face."

"You did?" Hermione shrieked.

"Always the tone of surprise," he replied, shrugging out of her embrace.

"What happened? Why did you miss your portkey?" I asked Tonks.

"My dear old Aunt. Bellatrix. She wants me dead; pursued us the whole way. I wish I could say I got her, but we did injure Rodolphus. Then, when we arrived at Muriel's, she started fussing over us. We only just escaped her."

"So, are we the last ones back then?" Ron asked.

"No. We're still waiting on…" Ginny began but she paused as she glanced over at me and Remus.

"We're waiting for Bill and Jonathan, and Mad-Eye and Mundungus," Remus finished as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I'll go tell Mum and Dad you're back," Ginny said.

As she hurried away, Kingsley decided to leave as well. He was already late getting back to Downing Street. Remus promised to send him word once he had it. Then we resumed our silent waiting. Every minute that passed felt like an hour. Jonathan and Bill should have been back long before now. All I could see was some unknown Death Eater casting a curse at Jonathan and him falling to the ground below. I cried silently while Remus held me from behind. I didn't even notice when Molly, Arthur, and Fleur joined us.

Then suddenly there was an ethereal wailing as a thestral broke through the barriers above. It landed a few feet away. I let out a cry of relief as Jonathan dismounted on his own. Then, mercifully, the first thing he did was come to me, wrap his arms around me, and lay his head on my shoulder.

"It's all right, Mum. I'm all right," he whispered against my tears.

I pulled him back to look him over, and I was pleased to see that he was unharmed.

"What kept you?" Fleur asked quietly.

"Mad-Eye's dead," Bill announced solemnly.

"What?" I looked into Jonathan's eyes for confirmation.

"How?" Harry asked.

"You-Know-Who did it himself," Bill replied. "Jonathan and I saw the whole thing; we were flying in the same direction. You-Know-Who went straight for Mad-Eye and Dung disapperated as soon as he saw him. Mad-Eye took the killing curse straight to the face and he fell. There was nothing we could do to stop it. Nothing."

We all stood in a stunned silence for a moment. It was hard to believe, and harder to accept. Alastor Moody, old Grizzly was dead. We made our way inside where Bill went straight to the kitchen cupboard. He pulled out glasses and a bottle of firewhisky, and pumpkin juice for me. We each raised our glasses in a toast to the fallen warrior.

"So, Mundungus fled?" Remus asked quietly, his brow raised.

Bill nodded solemnly. "I thought about that too, on the way over here. They seemed to be waiting for us, didn't they? But they didn't know the whole plan. It was Dung's idea, remember. I don't think it was him. I think Dung was just doing what he does best, and saved his own skin."

"He could be playing both sides," Jonathan suggested.

"No," Harry insisted. "I trust everyone in the Order. If we start turning on each other, and doubting each other's loyalty, then we've already lost this war."

Remus looked at Harry, and I knew he wanted to comment again on Harry's willingness to trust endlessly. Instead, he simply downed the rest of his firewhisky and placed the empty glass on the table. Then he turned to Bill.

"There's work to be done. I can ask Kingsley if you wish to stay with your family."

"No," Bill said. "I'll go with you."

"Go where?" Fleur asked.

"To find Mad-Eye's body," Remus responded.

"What? Now? Can't it wait?" Molly asked.

"You mean wait and let a Death Eater find it first? No. We should do it now."

Remus gave me a simple kiss to the forehead before hugging Jonathan. "Make sure your mother gets home safely."

"I will, but you do the same."

Bill, too, said his goodbyes to his parents, but Fleur and I followed them out the door. I was not going to settle for a mere kiss on the head.

"Why does it have to be you?" I whispered, as my arms hung around Remus' neck.

"Because right now, Arthur needs to be with his family."

I pulled back, tears in my eyes. "We need you too, Remus." I placed my hands on my belly. "I can't do this without you. Not again."

"You won't. I promise. I'll be there every step of the way."

"And I'll make sure he keeps that promise," Bill said, as he and Fleur joined us, holding hands and looking somber.

I nodded, finally relenting that they had to go.

"And you," I said, jabbing Remus in the chest with a finger. "You make sure Bill keeps his promise to marry this girl in a week."

Remus smiled and nodded. Then, with a prating kiss that left me breathless and in tears, they departed. I silently followed Fleur back inside where Jonathan met me.

"Come on, Mum. I should get you home. Dad will be a while. You should at least try to get some rest."

"I won't be able to."

"Humor me then, please. Or I'll get Fleur to force you."

"You know I will do zis," she said.

I did know. So, Jonathan and I made our goodbyes as well, and returned home. Where we continued on with what had become a long night of endless waiting.