..Chapter Thirty-Six..
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1st year
Day 96
Time, 0100 hours
Cherry,
My new team isn't too bad. We've been solid for a few months now. They're not as good as you and I have remind them constantly about what to do. But, then, no one is, right? It's so damned irritating. And I know it's not their fault. You spoiled me, you know? I got so use to working with you. We were like one mind sometimes, love. You always knew what to do just with one look from me, one glance. And I always knew the same with you. And each time one of us was in trouble we sensed it and picked up the slack for the other like perfect clarity.
But, don't worry, I'm getting use to it. I'll just have to, won't I?
No one will ever replace you, not by a long shot. And I don't expect them to. I don't want them to.
Sometimes, when I'm fighting for my life, I look out in the corner of my eye... and I dare to see a rush of pink, assuring me you'll be there to back me up if anything should go wrong. It helps keep me alive and half a dozen other times it's nearly killed me in the process. I guess I just need to stop doing this to myself, don't I?
I still miss you...
~Crow
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Sakura blinked at the man before her, standing in the opening of the gazebo. She'd been half startled and admonished herself mentally for the carelessness of her actions. It's not like an enemy would ever come and slit her throat in Konoha.. but she knew better than to take chances.
Still, she didn't want him to think her irritation was his fault. He hadn't done anything wrong. "No, it's alright, Minato-sama. I was the one not paying attention. I should be more perceptive of my surroundings."
He laughed softly at that, brushing blond from his eyes as he stepped forward. "Spoken like a true ANBU." He grinned like his son, eye dancing with mirth.
She half smiled, slightly embarrassed by the compliment. "I try... I suppose."
He nodded, grin never leaving his face. "Mind if I sit down?"
She scooted over so he was allowed some space on the bench. She shifted her things over; books and papers. "Not at all. I was just working." She glanced about. "And time appears to have gotten ahead of me."
He took a seat and relaxed into the wooden back next to her. He looked up slightly. "This place can do that to you." He looked over at her and down at the paperwork with an arched brow. "Something for Tsunade?" His eyes narrowed slightly as his lips twitched in humor. "She's not overworking you again, is she? Because if she is I can talk to her for you..."
Sakura laughed at that. "Oh, no, she isn't. Actually, I've been working on my essay for the verbal exam with you. Although, I've been told it's not too terribly pressing. Which, is why she gave me some other research to do."
He nodded and glanced down at it. There appeared to be a few paragraphs already. "You look to be doing fine so far." He smirked. "I always did love a girl with impeccable handwriting. And," he added, "from the looks of it, it appears as though Kakashi really still does hate writing mission reports."
She grinned and put down her pen. "Yes, he always has." Her eyes turned wistful for a moment as she thought back to all those times she raced him home and made him do it. Not because she didn't want to, but because she loved to tease him. She loved that look he gave her, half pouting behind his mask. No one else could see it, but she always could. She knew; she always did.
"I came to tell you he agreed."
She blinked and looked up at Minato. "I'm sorry?"
He smiled and his eyes half lowered in a knowing fashion. "Kakashi. I finally talked to him today about becoming your sponsor."
"Did you?" Her voice was quiet. From the way Tsunade told her she half assumed he'd already been asked and agreed.
He nodded. "Yep."
"Oh," she replied, stifling the notion that she expected him to perhaps elaborate on how it went. She wanted to inquire more, but she didn't want Minato to read too much into it. He was good at that. And she had no explanation for it that wouldn't get her landed in the mental ward of Konoha Hospital.
"He still doesn't know it's you," he continued, surprising her. "He was too angry to even ask, I suppose." He frowned slightly.
She arched a brow, leaning her arms on the table as she looked out at the scenery. Tsunade had said much the same thing. She knew why now. "That's good." She looked over and saw his blank expression. She blinked a few times and realized how it sounded. "Oh, I didn't mean about him being angry... I mean about him not knowing it was me." She frowned and looked down slightly, not meeting his eyes. "Tsuande didn't want me to saying anything after she told me... but she said you told her. So, I guess it doesn't matter much, but--."
"You know about Her, do you?"
She nodded.
"Hm," he mused, looking half in thought. "How much do you know, Sakura? ...Really?" His eyes narrowed slightly, like he was trying to dissect her.
Sakura shrugged, not seeing anything unusual about the way he looked at her. He was probably worried about Kakashi. He had to be if he was the one who pulled him on ANBU; especially if he was going to put him back on it with her just because she'd asked.
"Well, she told me you demoted him back down to Jounin because he nearly got killed a few times." She heard Minato snort, but went on. She could only assume 'few' was a weak word to use. "She told me he hadn't been happy about it and that I should reconsider him as my sponsor."
"Did she tell you why?"
Sakura sighed and leaned further into the table. Her chin came to sit on her forearms as they rested, crossed over another, on the wood surface. "She said someone hurt him a long time ago and that he hasn't been the same since. The girl was his ANBU team mate. And she said there was no way in hell he'd ever accept me; that he would in words only; because you would give him no other option in order to come back to the unit, but that he wouldn't really at all; accept me that is." She sighed again and closed her eyes. "She said I had my work cut out for me."
Minato nodded slowly after she finished. "She's right, you know."
"I know."
Sakura stared off into the distance as another breeze swept by. It felt cool against her skin; some of the winter air still present. The boughs of the trees croaked and groaned in protest from high above her. She listened in proverbial silence as the leaves and sticks came crashing down from above like little raindrops and hit the roof of the gazebo. Her trained ears unconsciously listened for the sign of someone listening.
Minato looked up, his eyes running across the detailed work of the gazebo. "I didn't think you knew about this place," he murmured.
She smiled softly, not once moving from her position. "I'm told few do anymore. It's almost like a secret garden, hm?"
"Or orchard," he replied, "But, yes, the idea is the same." He looked over at her. "Do you know this took a good seven years to build?"
She blinked a few times but didn't look over at him yet. "You built it?" Her voice was raised slightly in disbelief.
He chuckled softly and crossed his arms over his chest. "Me? No. I've never been much good with a hammer or nails. Much less a carving knife and a solid piece of wood."
"Oh," she replied, because there didn't seem to be much else to say. Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to. Minato had always been good at that.
"Kakashi did."
At that she really did whip around and look at him. She stared for a while, trying to read his eyes and face. Had she heard right? Kakashi had build this? How? He'd never once exhibited an interest in art when she'd known him. She always assumed he hated anything involving a pen and paper, much less something beyond that basic artistic skill. "What..?"
He arched a brow at her. "Is that so hard to believe?" He smirked. "You really don't think the only think your sensei is capable of enjoying is reading porn and public and being a good shinobi, do you?"
"Well... no," she muttered, confused. Her brow furrowed as her fingers touched her lips. "I just... never really pegged him as an artist." Her eyes trailed back to the inlay work, the crows, the blossoms, the petals and other things. "At least not a good one..."
Minato shrugged. "His mother was a prodigy. She painted all her life."
"I know," she whispered, lost in thought as she stared at the work.
Minato arched another brow curiously as he watched her. She didn't appear to catch it though. He started another topic, somewhat keeping with the current one. "He built it for Her, you know." He locked eyes with her as she turned to meet his gaze apprehensively. "No, I imagine you wouldn't, would you?" He half smiled sadly. "The team mate. He loved her very deeply. Before she left the village he proposed."
"Did he?" She looked away again, trying to hide the pain in her eyes.
He nodded and appeared to look into the distance. But, out of the corner of his eyes he watched her. " He didn't change at first. But, as time went by and as it became more and more apparent to everyone else she wasn't coming back, he became more and more withdrawn." Minato edged a glance at her, but quickly appeared to be not paying attention at all. "Everytime he was off the mission roster people saw less and less of him. It took me a year or two, but, I soon realized what he was doing here."
Sakura remained silent. She wanted to ask what, because it seemed to apparent he knew. He was telling her a story right? Filling in the gaps she so wanted filled in?
"At first I think he did it so he had something to give her when she returned; a special place for them both to come and relive memories, to love." He sighed. "But, as the years went by I think it became more of a memorial than anything else." He looked over at her and found emerald greens meeting his gaze again, ridden with pain and sadness. He would almost bet she was ready to cry. "That's why he's always late," he whispered softly, afraid to startle her teetering emotions. "He comes here to forget, to remember and to dream. It's why the few of us who do know him so well never say a damned thing when he does show up late, Sakura. We all understand."
She pulled her gaze from his, ripped even. Sakura blinked back tears and told her heartbeat to settle down. She pushed back the pounding in her ears and somehow forced herself not to run her fingers raggedly through her hair; an action that would surely tell him something was wrong with her. Something more than simple empathy for her sensei over a lost love.
"Here," He said as he slid something across the table to her. "I thought you might want this."
Sakura carefully pulled her gaze downward. She continued to blink back tears as brown, worn, leather book was placed before her. It's edges were tattered slightly and the brown of it was ragged with age; some parts fading. she reached forward in confusion as her brow furrowed. She didn't bother asking anything as she slowly opened it, as if afraid.
She scanned the terrible handwriting as soon as she realized it was Kakashi's. Her brow began to furrow further and her insides stilled as she scanned. It was almost like a dread washed over her. But it wasn't dread. It was like half anticipation mixed with more confusion.
It was a letter book just like his mother's and father's.
A letter book that belonged to Kakashi.
Written to his Cherry.
Her.
Her eyes flashed to Minato's and they narrowed slightly. They rippled, vibrated slightly in movement as she scanned his eyes, his face, trying to read something there. But, she didn't speak.
"Sakura," he began as he leaned forward slightly, "do you know why Sarutobi selected me as his successor?"
"Why?" She was whispering, her voice wavering.
He smiled and she had a feeling she was going to find out.
"Because," he began slowly, "I'm very good a piecing things together. And my intuition has never been wrong."
...
Shortly after The Third's death...
Rin dashed up the stairs to the Hokage office almost breathless. She just had to make sure the files she'd filled out were turned in on time. It was almost the end of the day and her sensei would be leaving for home soon. If she managed to catch him before he left it'd be a miracle. And if she did then she could avoid the scolding from the Director.
She huffed and she puffed and scolded herself twice over. But really, if Obito had let her get any sleep last night she wouldn't be like this! If she told him that though he'd just tell her she hadn't been complaining at the time. Lousy man. She grunted and paused for breath, to make herself presentable before she went inside the room. But as she reached up to knock she paused, listening.
"What are you talking about, Minato?" she heard, Kushina's voice and slowly lowered her fist. "Burned? Why?"
"Hell if I know," she heard her sensei reply.
"Why would he have that done?"
"That's what I'm trying to say, Kushina," he began, "When Sakura came to see me privately a few days ago--."
"About what you just told me?"
"Yes," he continued, irritation in his voice at her interruption, or only Rin could assume so, "As I was saying, I looked into it. And that's when I found out all the files were burned or destroyed. It was one of the last lines requested in his will; ordered. The only thing left on them is the current files about them being in Konoha for the last two years."
Rin listened as Kushina paused, saying nothing for a while. Rin almost moved to go in, knock, but paused again as she replied.
"You think there's something else going on, don't you?"
Rin waited, holding her breath until he responded. But, he didn't, instead...
"Rin, do you need something?"
She blushed three shades of red. How long had he known she was there? Schooling her features she dashed inside the room with a bright smile and placed the documents on the desk. "I just came to turn these in before you left for the day! Do you have anything you want me to take back to the hospital?"
Minato shook his head, eyes narrowed. "No, thank you. You may go, Rin."
She bowed and turned to leave.
"Shut the door on your way out, girl." Minato paused until she left, waiting until the door clicked shut. He waited a while longer to make sure she was gone. When he was sure he could no longer feel her faint chakra signature he began to preform a jutsu.
"Minato--."
"Quiet," he muttered as he finished it off. "There," he said, "now we can speak freely."
Kushina sighed, exasperated. Her arms crossed her her chest. "What is this about? Why are we being so secretive? Is sound proofing the room really necessary?"
"Yes," he replied swiftly, meeting her gaze, "because, no one needs to know what I'm about to confide in you about, love."
Her eyes looked suddenly worried and she took a step toward him. Her hands spread wide as she spoke in a hushed tone. "You're being cryptic again. I understand what you said about her request to go in two years. I realize it's highly abnormal... but if it's about the war, I mean, is it really so unheard of him to have those things burned? Surely you don't think they're enemy shinobi?"
He shook his head, brow furrowing. "No, certainly not. Sarutobi would have never agreed to such a thing. He was loyal to Konoha. He gave his life for this village. No, I don't think they're spies."
"Again," she muttered, "you're being cryptic. Spit it out, blue eyes."
He narrowed his gaze on her, thinking. "You know I have a tendency to over analyze..."
"Yes, yes," she muttered some more, waving her hand impatiently. "I know that."
He sighed and raked a hand through his strands. "Alright, sit down." When she only stared at him he explained. "You'll want to be sitting down for this one, red." He waited and she didn't moved. "Look," he urged her, "just do it, alright?"
She rolled her eyes, huffed in indignation and did as she was told. Her arms crossed over her chest and she faced him across the desk. "There, happy?"
"Yes," he muttered, nearly snapping. No woman could more thoroughly annoy him like her. No woman could nearly set him so off balance. That's why he loved her. Kakashi might grate his nerves, but Kushina set them on fire.
"First of all," he began to explain, "have you noticed some of the odd coincidences surrounding Sakura's team?"
"Like?" When he started the groan she grouched out, "Listen here, blue eyes, I'm not like you! I don't have a mind as sharp as a knife. You're the mythical Sherlock Holmes come to life, not me. So, quit messing with my head and just get on with it." Her eyes narrowed dangerously.
He sighed. She wasn't making this easy. He'd hoped if he could slowly help her make the connection herself she wouldn't look at him like he was nuts. So much for that plan. He should have known better. Kushina wasn't stupid but she hated it when he drug things out. Even in bed. Well, sometimes.
"Naruto, for instance," he said, "has the same name as my son. Odd, right?"
She shrugged. "We thought it was a good name because of the character in your sensei's book. He had a strong sense of will and a good persona. Naruto, your student, just happened to have the same name. It merely convinced us it was a good idea all the more. What does that have to do with anything?"
He refrained from groaning again. "Very well, but that's not the only thing, red. After I found out about the burned files I decided to do a little searching into Uchiha Sasuke's background. Well, not in the files, those were burned. But, in the clan records we have here in the Tower. And do you know what I stumbled across?"
"What?" This had better be good, she decided, for him to hang all this in front of her with little explanation of the point already.
He reached for something on his desk and slid a folder at her. "Look at it."
She did so with a frown of irritation. As she flipped it open and scanned the information her eyes narrowed. "Ok... so he has the same name... and same hair and eyes... so what? What are you getting at, blue eyes?"
He slapped another file in front of her. "I thought the same thing until I started looking for all the girls born in that same year with the first name Sakura in the village. Even the civilian files." His eyes narrowed. "And do you know... there was only one born with pink hair and green eyes?"
Kushina looked at the next file, brow furrowing. She held both out in front of her and looked them over further. With yet another sigh mixed with a raspberry she looked up at him, almost pouting. "Sorry, love.. still not understanding. I mean, unless you're trying to tell me the kids in these files are the ones on that team?" She laughed softly, "And I know you wouldn't be suggesting that. I mean... time travel?" She grinned, not looking at his features. "I mean, you've come up with some pretty cracked up theories over the years, but, this?"
Silence greeted her and she realized he wasn't laughing with her.
She blinked and waited for him to laugh. She waited for the joke to finally kick in, like it always did. For him to tell her he'd been pulling her leg all along. But... it never came.
"You can't be serious, blue eyes."
Silence.
"Minato?"
"Do you have a better explanation? Have I ever been wrong about any of my theories?"
She frowned. "Well.. no... but..."
He sighed and wiped a hand down his face. "Listen, it's not just that. I could tell you any number of the things I've picked up on over in the last two years that tell me I'm right. Conversations they've had that have been passed on to me from other shinobi; actions..."
"You've been spying on them?" she hissed.
"No," he muttered. "I have not been. The things I've been told are only passing gossip. Snippets here and there that most people would forget about over time. Not me." He tapped his head with two fingers. "I file it all away." He frowned as she gave him 'that look'. "It's my job to keep an eye on the villagers and shinobi, Kushina. I'm not doubting them. It's noting I don't do with anyone else. You know that."
She sighed. "Alright."
"Alright? Just like that? You believe me?"
She nodded. "Only because you're right, I've never known you to be wrong about anything. No matter how crazy it sounds. It's why you're behind that desk and not someone else, blue eyes." She shrugged. "What are you going to do about it? Tell them you know? Confront them to confirm it?"
He shook his head and sighed. "No, I'm not."
She arched a curious questioning brow and he knew she was giving him 'that look' again. Like he was nuts or she wanted to know what his silly reasoning was this time. "Whatever they're doing it's not jeopardizing the village. And for all I know they could be doing something to protect it. If I let them know I know it could make things harder. Better to claim plausible deniability, right?"
"I guess..." she murmured. "You know more about these things than I do. So, I'll go along with it."
He nodded, happy he had someone to talk to about it. He sighed softly and looked to his right, out at the window depicting his image carved into stone on the monument. "I always wondered why he felt like such a son to me..."
Kushina smiled knowingly. "At least we know he turned out into a wonderful man, right?"
He smiled back. "Right."
...
"How long have you known?" Her voice whispered.
He paused and held her gaze. It remained softened because he understood her pain. "Before you left," he whispered in return.
A single tear fell from her right eye. Her lips quivered and she shook slightly. He could tell she was trying to be strong, trying to keep it all in.
"I'm so... sorry," she whispered, "It's... it's my fault isn't it? You hate me, don't you, Hokage-sama?"
He shook his head and reached up, wiping the single tear from her cheek. "No, child," he said softly, kindly, "I don't. I never would."
"How can you not?" Her mind echoed those words after she said them. "After what I did to him?"
He sighed as he dropped his hand. "Because I know you had your reasons, Sakura. And I knew when you came to see me once more, a week before you left, to tell me you had to go, you didn't want to."
Her eyes glanced over at the tattered letter book as she thought. She'd said she wanted someone to talk to. Maybe Eon, in his own inadvertent way had answered her prayers. Somehow, it didn't seem all that farfetched that it was Minato; somehow it seemed right. Her eyes wavered as she stared at the book. "I want to tell him,"she admitted,"but I'm afraid to. I half wonder if I'm doing the right thing... you know? I just... I'm worried..."
"That he's going to break? And if he doesn't break he might hate you for thinking you betrayed his trust?"
She nodded, closing her eyes. A few more tears fell with the action. She felt a hand cup her cheek as a few fingers brushed tears and hair from her eyes slowly. She was suddenly very thankful someone was here for her. Someone who didn't mind the burden she bore, who shared it with her a little.
"Do you know that I personally selected your team for Kakashi? That you were number sixteen in a long line of students he'd failed before he passed you three?" He paused, watching as her eyes, not her voice, answered his question. "I didn't think so," he went on, not waiting for a reply. "And I did it because I had hopes you might be able to heal him, Sakura; all of you. I didn't know what else to do at the time. He had nearly killed himself in ANBU."
She swallowed slowly as the information settled on her. "He was our teacher before we went back..."
He nodded. "Then that explains a lot then," he murmured, still looking at her. "I want you to know I didn't do it to torture him. Although... that does seem to be all my interference has done." He sighed and dropped his hand from her face finally; dispassionately. "He was happier for while... and I thought..." He trained his gaze on her again, eyes narrowing as he trailed off.
When he spoke once more it was in a half whisper of desperation,"That's why I didn't refuse when you asked for him to be your ANBU sponsor, Sakura. When you worked together before you were like no other team in the field. I don't even have anything to compare it to. And when you did come to me," he spoke more sternly, more seriously, "I was convinced I might have finally found my way to help him; by allowing him retrace his steps with the girl he fell in love with all over again; to relive the way you both fought and worked together side by side. It's the one thing he won't allow anyone to share with him. At least until now," he explained with hope in his voice. "The only thing I had left to wait on, was you."
"Me?"
He nodded. "On the girl I knew to come back. The one who taught Rin everything she knows; the one who saved Obito's life; the one who taught Kakashi how to feel." He smiled and took both of her hand into his own. "I understand you're scared, girl. I would be were I in your boots. If you want me to tell you you're doing the right thing by waiting, then I will. You are. He's a very broken man right now; a very damaged one. It's going to take a lot of soul-searching, a lot of time and a hell of a lot of effort on your part to get him back, Sakura."
Sakura looked down at their joined hands and swallowed. Fear was still very present in her system, despite his words. "And if he hates me even after?"
He reached for her chin, lifting it so her cool green eyes met his equally blue ones. He kept on smiling reassuringly. "Kakashi is a very reason-based, logical-minded man. He might be mad at first. He might drink himself stupid. Hell, he might even say some things he doesn't mean. But remember, Sakura, he's been waiting over eighteen years for you. No," he whispered softly, "I think when the dust finally settles, if I know him like I do, all will work out just fine."
Sakura nodded and allowed him to give her a hug. She exhaled slowly and closed her eyes. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."
"You're welcome, Blossom," he replied as he held her for a while longer. "And if he doesn't listen to you I'll just kick his ass until he does."
She couldn't help but laugh at that, feeling a little better. She heard him chuckle in return and slowly released him. "I'll be alright now. I'm sure you're wife is wondering where you are by now."
He laughed again as he stood. "She'll understand. She always does."
Sakura nodded and smiled softly, thankfully. She wasn't altogether happy. But it was start.
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead as he said goodbye. She watched him leave before beginning to pack up to go home herself.
Little did Minato really know how much he'd truly helped her. It might not have been Eon; he wasn't coming back, she imagined. And that didn't bother her because Minato just had this way about him that set everyone at ease, just like Naruto told her.
He'd given her back her faith.
In her mind and in her heart.