A/N: Oh guys I'm SO sorry for the delay! I celebrated my birthday yesterday and that took over every second of my free time this week. I'm gonna try to start writing the next chapter right away so I can upload it by friday or earlier if you're lucky.
I hope you like this new chapter, I didn't like it that much but maybe you'll do. Enjoy :)
It was a few minutes after five when Olivia reached her apartment again. During her trip back home she realized she wasn't mad or angry at Alex, she was irritated. She had done what she was a hundred percent sure it would be the best for them and the blonde wouldn't even let her explain.
Olivia felt impotence taking power over her body. The brunette knew there wasn't a word she would be able to say without being interrupted by a very stubborn, teenage Alex and that everything would remain that way until the younger woman calmed down and allow her to explain her actions.
The 24-year-old woman climbed up four floors of stairs in a quick pace and got inside her apartment. Olivia closed the door and went straight to the bathroom. She let the hot water running as she discarded her clothes over the cold floor. The brunette stepped into the bathtub and a second later she was calming herself down with something she usually didn't have—a warm and relaxing bubble bath.
Usually, she would simply take a five minute shower and go to do whatever else she'd planned to. But today, Olivia felt as if she needed to stop – to lose herself. She wanted to make a pause and tell the time to stop running for a while, to wait for her. The brunette smiled as she carelessly played with some bubbles. Months had pasted since she had had a bath for the last time and she was planning on enjoying the one she was having.
Olivia remained inside the bathtub until she saw the bubbles disappeared and touched her wrinkled fingertips. She splashed water to her face and rubbed her eyes. The young woman stood up not without a small shiver from losing the warm comfort that water gave to her. She wrapped herself in a soft towel and left the bath.
She grabbed her phone and checked the time. Little over six. Olivia heard her stomach asking for food and thought about her regularly empty fridge. She sighed and looked at her phone once more, she had hoped seen some kind of message from Alex but she knew that was a fake and senseless hope. The blonde was too proud to do that.
Disappointed and wrapped up in her towel, Olivia walked toward the kitchen where she confirmed what her gut had told her – the fridge was absolutely filled by emptiness. The brunette closed it and looked around her apartment. And idea came to her mind and she instantly went back to the bathroom and picked up her phone. Olivia smiled as she dialed the number and waited for her call to be answered.
"Hi Olivia." She heard her mother's voice on the other line.
"Hey, mom. I was wondering… have you eaten already? 'Cuz I probably won't be working any more for today and was hoping we could have dinner together."
Serena smiled to the phone. "I haven't and it's nice when your grown up daughter remembers you still exist. Thank you, honey." The older woman joked.
"I am not that bad!" Olivia complained and heard her mother's laugh on the other side. "And to prove so I'm picking you up in forty and we'll go to that Italian restaurant you're so fond of. Does that sound pleasant to you mother?" The brunette once again heard her mom's soft laugh and smiled.
"It does, Olivia. Thanks again and I'll see you in a bit." Serena said and hung up the phone.
Olivia walked to her bedroom and carelessly threw her phone over the bed's comforter. She started pulling a shirt from her wardrobe but something stopped her and she hung it again.
The brunette then looked back at her phone and sighed; still no sign from Alex. Olivia knew she had to be patient and wait for the blonde to come to her senses but she just couldn't. Everything she had done had been exclusively to make their relationship better, not to screw it up – and up until that moment, her plan hadn't worked out exactly as she had wished it would.
Olivia changed her clothes and went to her living room, thoughts of Alex still running through her head. She saw her laptop lying over a coffee table and went straight to it. I'm sorry but I can't wait until tomorrow.
The 24-year-old woman typed and more than once shut her eyes in order to stop tears from falling. She wrote every word right from her heart and sent the email. She breathed deeply, grabbed her leather jacket and left the apartment.
Alex finished having dinner with her family and excused herself back to her bedroom. Her plans that night consisted on going straight to bed and have the deepest beauty sleep she would ever have. Alex knew she needed all the rest she could get so she could swallow her pride and properly apologize to Olivia in the morning.
The blonde walked through her door and didn't take much time to notice that the computer was alerting her about an incoming new message. When that had been sent? Her phone would have ringed if it had been during dinner and Alex hadn't heard it. She sighed.
During the afternoon she hadn't pay attention to anything but she would have never thought she could build walls this strong between herself and the rest of the world if she wanted to.
Still surprised she hadn't seen the email before, Alex debated whether to read it or not. She truly wanted to go to bed as soon as possible and get a good, long sleep. But on the other hand… she knew she wouldn't get any sleep knowing there was an unopened, unanswered email waiting for her.
This has always been one of Alex's manias; every text, every email, every letter or call she'd get, she had answered it immediately. She couldn't wait too long to do it because, what if it was important?
Of course, she knew that most of the times the messages wouldn't say things she needed to know ASAP. But the possibility of something huge happening was always potential. It was as if every message she received could change her life. As if doors and windows were always open, for both good and bad things. And if something that would change her life was only a click away, then why not to read the message immediately? Everything else could wait a few minutes.
Having similar thoughts in her mind, Alex walked to her desk and clicked enough times to open the email she had received. A genuine smile took over her face and Alex let a high pitch squeal out as she saw from whom the email was.
I know you're angry, I know you don't understand the reasons of why I quitted being your guard and I know you think that, along with quitting the job, I quitted fighting for an 'us'.
Last night, I felt as confused as you are now. I wanted to do what would be the best for us but it was hard for me to see what the best thing was when it also happened to be the one that hurt me the most.
There is nothing I want more than spending every second of every day with you but doing that as your guard would put your safety in a dangerous limbo and I… I couldn't risk that. I could risk being with you and spending my time with you but I couldn't and I won't ever risk you.
I love every inch of you too much to risk them.
There's a part of me regrets what I did and wishes I wouldn't have done it. But the other part, the one that tells me I did right, is the bigger one and it's the one I try to listen.
I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it before doing it. I wish I could have found a way of doing everything but without hurting you or making you angry. I guess I just wanted to do what I thought was best for us.
With all my love,
Olivia.
Alex read Olivia's email and realized that in that moment more than ever she needed to change. She needed to grow up, to mature; for herself but also for their relationship. The young blonde knew that though she would always be stubborn she had to learn to listen first and then talk.
She stared at the computer's screen with a smile on her face and couldn't help but think about how blessed she was. She was only a few days from turning seventeen and she had by her side this amazing, incredible woman who cared so deeply for her. How did she get so lucky? How had she ever managed to make the brunette fall for her?
Alex smiled at the floor as she thought more about it. Olivia loved her. She would never get tired of having that thought in mind. The most wonderful woman she had ever met loved her and for that Alex would be eternally thankful.
Now she had to deserve Olivia. Alex needed to feel she deserved Olivia's love and attention. And for that she had to grow up. She had to learn how to listen first and then talk.
Her objective wouldn't be accomplished by the end of the day and she knew it. It would take her time and effort to mature but meanwhile, Alex decided she should start with apologizing.
The blonde picked up her cellphone and dialed Olivia's number.
As Alex waited for Olivia to answer, she jumped on her bed and sank between some pillows, tightly hugging one. "Hi." She heard her favorite voice in the other line and smiled.
"Hey." Alex said and bit her lip as she resolved that going straight to the point would be the best thing to do. "I— I'm sorry Liv."
Olivia silently sighed when she heard Alex's apology. She hugged herself with her free arm and caressed her other arm's side. "I know you are. I'm sorry too – I should have talked with you first. I don't know what came to my mind really I just—" She started speaking but Alex interrupted her.
"You did fine, you took such a hard decision by yourself and now I know you made the right choice. I get it now… or at least I'm trying to fully get it. I… I'm sorry you have to stand me when I act like this. I hate it actually. It shouldn't be your job to raise me and make me grow up and—"
This time, Olivia was the one who interrupted. "It's not my job and I'm not raising you; never feel like I'm doing it, Alex. I'm just witnessing how you're turning into this amazing woman and becoming a little more proud of you as days go on. I'm not here to stand you; I'm here to support you and that's something I'm more than happy to do. You are not some kind of baggage for me. You will never be." The brunette looked back to where her mother was sitting and saw how Serena's eyes ran away from hers; trying to hide the fact she was making the attempt of listening her daughter's conversation. Olivia heard a quiet silence in the other line. "Hey, I love you." She whispered. "Regardless your mood."
Alex laughed. "I love you too." The blonde said with a soft smile that wasn't far too different from Olivia's own.
"I gotta go but I'll see you and your beautiful face tomorrow, okay?" Olivia heard Alex humming yes. "Bye." She softly said and ended the call.
The brunette walked back to her and her mother's table and sat down in front of the older woman. Serena looked at her only daughter with an evident smirk on her face that passed unnoticed by Olivia. "I'm sorry; I had to take the call. What were you saying?" She asked.
Serena shrugged. "Of course you had to take it." She said mischievously. "Who was that?"
Olivia's eyes tried not to widen but didn't succeed on their mission. "It was… Hm, I…" The guard hesitated and Serena giggled. Years may have passed, but when the mother asked her daughter about her love interests she still got the same vague and evasive response she did when Olivia was twelve-years-old.
The English professor embraced one of her daughter's hands into her owns and spoke with a small but hearable laugh in her voice. "It's alright, sweetheart. You don't have to tell me anything, but I do hope I get to know who this person is if it gets serious enough."
Olivia nodded, smiled and blushed at the same time. "You will." She assured she would but knew it was already a broken promise.
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