LET ME BE THE ONE TO LOVE YOU MORE...
A begining of the storm chapter... I really wanted to start with that part, but I promise I wont make this a teary drama (at least if we finish off crying would be out of true pain for the characters) and that throughout the whole thing I´ll keep the reality and the good moments. The problems are part of a relationship and the succes in being able to cope with them together means a lot for a couple which is what I want to make this two lovebirds experience.
I´ll try to update a bit sooner this story and the Cats in the balcony that had been a bit neglected these days due to all my recovery and family affairs.
Finally, the song is Hole in my Soul from Aerosmith and I swear I dont own Sailor Moon neither I intend to claim it.
39. There´s a hole in my soul…
How do you tell a person a story of your life that hurts you? How do you manage if that person happens to be the one you love the most in this world? How do you make that person aware of the darkness that lies within you and cope with the fear of rejection?
Because sometimes, had Lita told her, it is easy to fall in love with a persons light, with the beautiful façade but when going deeper, when you get to discover that someone you love carries shadows and guilt that they show nobody, a persons love can disappear and trouble in a relationship arise.
Amy told her once she ought to tell Darien about them, about what had happened when she was seventeen. That he would understand and that he needed to know. Not doing so would mean somehow, that she didn't trust him enough, that she wasn't as clear and transparent as she had tried to look. Mina in the other side, told her it wasn't he fault at all and that in the end, she was just a victim in the whole thing. Being so deeply hurt as she was, was just understandable given the things that had happened to her and that Darien would be able to not only understand her but to support her.
Raye went even further. She told her the time was near when she would have to face them again, when they would hurt her again and that only trusting Darien would save her from the deepest of the miseries.
--He will be the only one with strength enough to lift you from the floor, to bring you back to life and make you shine again, but if you don't trust him, he won't know, he is not going to understand and therefore, he won't be there when you really need him—
--You talk as if she is going to die or that their relationship is going to end if she doesn't tell him—said Mina sounding rather scared of her words.
Raye didn't say anything else. That had happened a short while ago, before their trip to the beach which was just finishing, right the last time the whole group of girls got together.
Serena gazed at Darien. He was concentrated in the road ahead and in some plans she was sure, he was thinking over and over in his head. She was certain he had made some sort of decision during those days, an important one that went to the extent of involving her and their relationship. She wasn't quite sure about it, but one thing she could say, there was no way she would be able to escape it or to say no without having to tell him the whole sordid history.
Darien turned for a second to meet her eyes and smiled at her with that wonderful expression of him that just arose from the depths of his own darkness just some weeks ago. If now she told him about the shadows lurking in her past, if now she showed him all the bitterness, all the frustration and regret she felt just when thinking about them, he would be troubled and she just didn't want to spoil their wonderful world, the beauty of all the things they were living together at the moment.
But again, she knew the girls had all the reason, she knew they were going to hurt her again and that she would end up torn and hurt, worse than the last time. It was just a matter of days or months before it would happen.
How was she going to ruin his wonderful days? Would he understand why she did what she did? Would he, in fact, understand her and support her throughout the storm ahead? Or would he just walk away from her, revolted from her as many did when all that happened back then? Would he still say I love you if he knew who she really was?
Serena closed her eyes and showed him her most beautiful smile. Because she wanted to believe there was still time to prepare and time for her to tell him that story, because she really wanted to trust his love and to be sure that he would be there, that he would still call her his angel and his little stalker…
Because she wanted to believe their love would be strong enough to remain despite all the darkness both of them carried within themselves.