Hitomi: Here we go again! Well, guess it looks like I have some motivation to write and the writer's block has lifted a little. Maybe it's because we don't have that much workload in school yet. So, I suppose this is another update?

Well, I suppose the writer's block still remains because I've no idea how I'm going to develop the story at this point since they really don't get into what happened to the Tiedoll unit on their way to Edo while the Cross unit already got there first. Then again, I did give some sort of hint that Rue's dark intentions will show through, so… And, oh… There is a little surprise in this chapter, though I can't exactly say since you need to read it yourself. But, it does concern the Tiedoll unit.

As always, thank you for your feedback and support. I hope I haven't disappointed you guys up to now!

Disclaimer: I do not own D . Gray-Man, Hoshinou Katsura-sensei does. The only thing(s) I do own in here would be my OC(s).

Unravel

XXXVIII

Swaying at the Edge

「Undo, undo, undo.

Slowly, I'm giving into it.

I don't know if I'll be able to come back.

But, all I know is it's do or die.」

A clash of metal and rock echoed into the rainy, dark setting. Then, following it was metal against metal. The summoning of magic can be heard, their glowing auras seen in the still black sky, hits and misses flying everywhere.

As usual, it was early morning. They always seemed to be up around these ungodly hours because, abnormal as it was for the majority, it was like them to be up around this time.

"First Illusion: Hell's Insects!" A strong, confident voice called out from the darkness, Mugen within striking distance. But it had been temporarily blocked by a dagger, a whip of water flying from Lifeline soon after.

They knew better than that by now, backing away and trying not to get any wounds inflicted on themselves. Though they were battling seriously, they were trying not to give any serious injury to each other. Better to have minor wounds if any at all as they still had a mission to do.

It felt liberating to her, not using her new coat right now, feeling the water from above them wetting her skin. She needed it, she knew, she needed to feel that she was alive. This way, she could be able to learn on how use that element from his death to its full potential. Twirling her gloved hands, making a water ball with such concentration, she hurled it right at him with no hesitance. Though he had managed to fend it off with the help of Mugen, the force of the water was strong enough to push him back when he was really holding his ground.

It made him wonder why she decided to go with this in the first place. True, he had been training her for two years, but he never thought she would consider a spar in the early morning (then again, she was an early riser half the time), much less in the rain. To be honest, he was a little surprised that he found her already awake and alone (well, if you count that golem of hers) and training so early in the morning.

The way she was fighting right now… For one, he couldn't help but feel a little proud on how far she came to this current power. It had been a struggle for the both of them, her having a weak synchronization rate and him having been given the grueling task of training her, in the process of thinking of her as a nuisance because of her weakness, but they had pushed themselves to the limits to get to where they were now. Were it not for him, she wouldn't be able to handle herself now as a full-fledged Exorcist, though she had been very independent the moment he met her.

However, seeing her fight so hard, with such a dark glow in her eyes, made him feel a little… Uneasy. Scratch that, he felt really uneasy around her; ever since that day.

But why?

This was how she always was, right? Then, why did it felt different this time?

"…Enough training for today, shorty." Sheathing Mugen, he ordered this calmly, sensing that she might be tired by now. They had been training for two hours nonstop, no breaks whatsoever.

"…I'm afraid I can't comply with that, Kanda." She shot back coolly, positioning herself in a fighting stance again. Although there was no doubt that she was sweating, soaked to the bone in rainwater, and worn out from training, she wouldn't give up. She always came back for more. The stamina she had built up since her assassin training days—and when developing her Innocence since her new Exorcist days—made her unstoppable. She may have pushed herself beyond her limits because of it, but it all paid off now.

Kanda knew how Rue's demeanor was two years ago, but he felt that she was changing back to it once more… And possibly in a worse state than before. The mere thought made him so confused and, even if only briefly, left him with a heavy sense of dread. She was always like this, and he knew that, but…

Why was it so different that he couldn't figure it out? Maybe it could be that…

Disregarding such thoughts, he looked at her again. Now that he had observed closely, he saw that she wore a really familiar expression… One that left him stiff in shock.

Like looking into a mirror, the irony of it all.

"I said enough for today. What part of that don't you understand?" He growled, the words sharper than he intended because of feeling so unnerved by her. He really wasn't up to arguing with her at this time; how unsettlingly odd that was because that was what they usually did. They've done it ever since they first met: always exchanging hot and cold words, fueling their rivalry in the process, and giving them the motivation to outdo each other with their Innocence.

Why the sudden change?

"I told you I will not comply with it." She cut in with a huff, refusing to budge. She held up a dagger at her eye level with Deathtrap, her eyes dark with unspeakable but negative emotions.

She had spoken in a voice thick with an unreadable tone while Kanda listened warily. Was she angry? Frustrated? Weary? Desperate? What was it? Whatever it was, it didn't mean she was going to follow what he ordered. Unfortunately for him, there was no room for argument or compromise. She meant business on training (more than usual) and damn straight she was being stubborn about it.

"I need this… I really need this…" Rue continued quietly, clutching the dagger and Deathtrap in a death grip. "And if you can't understand that, well, I am more than capable to train alone. You can rest if you want, you know, I don't mind."

The look in her eyes really spoke volumes on what she was trying not to let out verbally. It held an expression that was raw with painful sincerity, despite how muddled it looked because she felt so many emotions at once. He didn't even feel offended when she offered to train alone and told him to rest; he just kept eyeing her, trying to figure out what she really felt for the past few days.

It was beyond anger and sadness, beyond being unforgiving, that reflected in her eyes. Rue looked like she lost a part of herself and, to Kanda, he felt that she really hated humanity so much. There seemed to be a sense of longing as well, one that gave the impression that she was constantly looking for something… Or someone that she lost. Then, he knew that particular feeling he couldn't place in her eyes just a moment ago: she was in so much pain that she couldn't voice it out at all.

Surely, he felt the same thing so clearly on the day when he lost Alma. And surely, in that unknown time, in those unknown memories, when he remembered her: the person that he promised to look for.

"Kanda…"

Snapping out of his reverie, Kanda looked at Rue thoughtfully, contemplating on what to do next. He already knew that she held back her grief for Daisya since the day he died the whole time; even when she had brushed it off and acted as she always did, he already knew, deep down, she was suffering. Just like Alma was close to Kanda, Daisya was close to Rue and they lost them. Even if the situations were different, Kanda felt now he could really relate to Rue about this.

Grief came in different forms and different ways, but it's still the same when feeling that awful sense of loss.

With that in mind, he took off his Exorcist coat and, as he was passing by her, he dumped the whole thing right on her head. Well, this was an unexpected gesture from him and she knew it. She looked over her shoulder to meet his eyes, her own wide with surprise and puzzlement. He was prepared for this and he knew what he was going to say, disregarding the contradicting emotions in his mind and heart.

"Che," he scoffed lightly, a steady, placid gaze meeting her bewildered look head-on. "I don't even know why you don't have your coat on, but you should, at least, keep yourself dry. The last thing I need is for you to slow me down by getting sick when we're on a mission with General Tiedoll. So, no going weak on me, shorty, or else."

To other people, it may sound like Kanda was insensitive and annoyed. It could be seen that way. But, to those who knew him well enough, they didn't believe he was all that bad. To Rue, she knew this as well, despite bickering with him constantly. And she already knew they were the same a long time ago, thanks to Lenalee; the only thing she didn't even know about Kanda was his killing off Alma because Kanda never confided in her about that.

"…Heh." Rue sighed, closing her eyes and concentrating more on the sound of his light footsteps from behind her. As she spoke, she reluctantly put on Kanda's long jacket, which, obviously, was too big for her to wear. Though it was useless because she was drenched, this was as close as a warm gesture she got out of Kanda, so she might as well take it while she still could. "You don't have to tell me that, I already know. That's why I wanted to spar with you now: so, I don't become weak."

Opening her eyes, she fully faced him, retreating and with his back turned to her. Peering into the distance, she saw a nearby tree and noticed he was going in that direction. He was going use that as a shield from the rain, now that he had no coat. And knowing him, he would be meditating like he always did.

"You're the only one I can rely on to make me stronger, Kanda. So… Please…"

Kanda stopped walking at once, his breath hitched sharply as he let the meaning of those words sink in. Hearing those words caught him by surprise for he never heard Rue said such a thing to him ever in all of her two years residing in the Black Order. Even then when he had been making her Innocence stronger, she was being hardheaded about it because she always relied on herself for her strength and he knew that she resented the fact that she was being trained by him, her rival, of all people.

But now, she said these words that, if he wasn't so stubborn about his emotions, would've made him happy and sad at the same time. There was no trace of malice or mockery in her statement. He knew that she was being honest about it and, truth be told, it shook him to the core. In midst of his shock and confusion, somewhere deep down and pass that obnoxious, obstinate pride he had in himself, a tiny part of him was… Scared.

For some reason or another that even he himself didn't know, Kanda Yuu was scared. Not scared of Rue Marucut, but for her. She had her pride, confidence, and independence, and yet, to hear her saying this…

When Kanda met Rue's face again, he almost swore under his breath once he saw it as it triggered his own memories of the Second Exorcist Project, Alma, and her replaying in his mind's eye. He saw the facial expression had changed to one of hardened resolve; however, the fragments of pain magnified in eyes that contradicted this; eyes that were dark with icy numbness, with absolutely no life in them. It was then he saw what she really felt just by looking in her eyes: He saw her bruised heart, bleeding wounds that steadily grew bigger instead of healing over time, and scars that etched deeply; he saw the darkness in her heart that bitterly reminded her she couldn't do anything right and was only useful as a weapon; and her fragile vulnerability that had been caught into a whirlwind of pain, loathing, and anger all at once.

She was condemning herself about everything and hating herself more for it every, single day. He could almost hear her inner voice screaming with raw anguish: "Why can't I do anything right?"

There was one other thing Kanda wouldn't admit when seeing her in this state: it cut him. It cut him deeply a lot more than he was ever willing to admit. But why? He wasn't supposed to care or feel for others, but yet—

"Please, make my Innocence stronger. For my sake… As well as…" He heard her voice dropping down to a whisper quaking with emotion. "Our 'brother's' sake…"

Right on the mark; by brother, she meant Daisya. As much as he was very stubborn about such notions, the lone swordsman refused to admit that Daisya was someone close to him like that. Even though he was annoying sometimes (ESPECIALLY when he was bored), boisterous, and cocky, it was painfully undeniable that Daisya was a vital person of the Tiedoll unit.

Now, Daisya was gone. He was gone just like that, claimed by the hands of Death, and never coming back.

From the back of Kanda's mind, there was a vague idea forming on why Rue was asking him this. Not wanting to jump to conclusions or to press into the matter, he knew that it was very important. But that small part of him couldn't help but still be afraid for her, for reasons unknown and beyond understanding.

Searching for the answer, it was then Kanda faintly recalled familiar words in his thoughts, going back around two years ago when Rue was still adjusting to the Black Order as a new Exorcist. What happened that time…? Right, it was after that embarrassing mission in Germany when he had to crossdress as a girl. As usual, they were arguing; but it had stopped dead as Rue said those words that made the atmosphere gone cold, those words that told him she was telling him a very painful truth:

"…For your information, I'll be the one to kill you since, in case you haven't been told, I've been doing killing for a living. I don't mean Akuma this time either."

So… They were really alike, after all. She was just like him, three years younger but nursing the same wounds: of losing someone dear, of being a weapon and a failure, of not knowing how to really live but only to fight for life at a constant basis, and of knowing with a painful and/or numb awareness that you were going to die young.

Why didn't Kanda realize it sooner? Or could it be that he knew, but he wasn't willing to accept the truth all of this time? Either way, now that the truth finally reached to him, he had no idea what to say to her now. After all, he wasn't the type to comfort people and, as far as he had his assumptions, neither was she.

But, there was one thing he knew he could do for her in his own way that she would understand. There was no other way to have her use her pain as strength other than this. This was the only way for her, him, for the both of them, to cope with the pain they've been through in all of their lives; perhaps, the reason why they were still living now.

"…An hour." Kanda finally spoke quietly after the long silence, having thought through long enough on what he had to do for her, his back still turned to her. Coming out of his memories and current musings, he resumed his walk to the tree for his meditation session.

"What?" Rue was startled at the sudden sound of his voice and was confused again, her eyebrows knitted into a slight frown.

"…You have a break for an hour. We'll train again after that."

oOo

They had been traveling around, making pit stops along the way, slowly making their way to Edo while trying to fulfill General Tiedoll's quest to find new Exorcists. Obviously, there was the fact that Akuma were going after them as well, ready to take down the Tiedoll unit to their early grave. At all costs, Kanda, Marie, and Rue were protecting their mentor, unleashing all kinds of Hell on their adversaries.

But while they continued on their journey, Rue was losing herself little by little in fighting, the only coping mechanism of Daisya's death she relied on. And even when they weren't fighting Akuma, she asked Kanda to train her, embracing her vengeance each passing day. On some days, by some scrap of sanity left in her, she would do other things to keep herself present like writing or drawing in the exchange diary. Relaxing with Marie and/or quietly staying by General Tiedoll's side when he sketched made her calm down (barely), but the loneliness that wafted in from time to time made her feel suffocated; of course, with him being gone, the team had gone considerately quiet and it just didn't feel the same to her anymore. During the times the Tiedoll unit would camp out instead of sleeping in an inn (due to the inconvenience of having no town nearby), because of her insomnia, Rue would be wide awake as she watched the stars like she always did. Every night, watching them until there were none left in the dark sky, and then she would get up and start training alone until Kanda woke up.

On their fifth day of travel (making it eight days since Daisya died), they were already in Bergen, Norway. By now, they were currently sidetracked on a quest. Someone begged them to get rid of Akuma in their town and, despite Kanda's disgruntled protests and Rue's slowly growing impatience on getting her share of Noah bloodshed, General Tiedoll and his pupils obliged to the matter.

It was raining again, dark gray clouds covering the sky as a serious downpour came upon them with the intention to drown the world. Now engaged in a gruesome battle, the Tiedoll unit was trying their best to finish it without sustaining serious injury. This would've gone well if there hadn't been difficult interferences AKA a few Lvl. 3 Akuma were involved in combat. Though injured and worn out in varying degrees, the Exorcists weren't going down without a fight.

"Double Illusion Blades!" Kanda commanded sharply, making Mugen's sheath into a blade as he dual wielded it and Mugen, hacking and slashing the weaker Akuma to bits.

"Verse of the Saint!" Marie called out loudly, wires from Noel Organon immobilizing the Akuma and music blasting through to destroy them. The wires alone were lethal weapons to begin with too, slicing though the Akuma effortlessly.

"Maker of Eden Art!" Because there were Lvl. 3 Akuma involved in the fray, General Tiedoll summoned giants from his Innocence. With their help, the Akuma numbers were greatly wiped out by and giving the Exorcists the upper hand in the battle.

Rue scoffed lightly, having a little difficulty taking down this many Akuma as she continued to receive injuries. But she kept going without any complaint and without stopping, manipulating the rain to her advantage with her Innocence and hurling water pillars at the Akuma. She also used air as a back up element since earth and fire wouldn't work in such a wet setting, slicing wind blades into the grotesque creatures.

"Damn…" Kanda fussed irritably, continuing to cut down a few Akuma down with Mugen, his gaze hardening at how the battle was faring so far. "There's a lot of Akuma here and we're supposed to be at Edo as soon as possible."

"Well, isn't it always like this?" Nearby was Marie, who said this with a short laugh as he was taking down multiple Akuma with Noel Organon, his hands pulling at the wires with a strong tug. "We're in this side quest because we're Exorcists, no matter what the circumstances are. Wherever Akuma go, we have to destroy them, regardless of us having a mission elsewhere. Besides General Tiedoll being the way he is, Akuma would've came after him, anyway, as he's an Exorcist-General."

The other male only grunted his agreement as a reply, unleashing Hell's Insects and letting them scatter around the vicinity to take their targets. The burly man had a point and, here, Kanda grew all the more annoyed since this was General Tiedoll's idea in the first place. They were supposed to protect him too because that was their mission once finding him, making this even more troublesome than it actually was.

So now, they really had to watch themselves and make sure General Tiedoll stayed alive on top of the Edo mission that still awaited them. Could it get any worse than this?

"Stay close to me, General Tiedoll." Rue ordered calmly, waving Deathtrap and Lifeline around in utmost concentration and forming water pillars from the rain, blasting them to the Akuma that were surrounding them. "I know you have your Innocence, but we can't afford to lose another General like what happened to General Yeegar let alone an Exorcist because there's only a handful of us in this war."

Chuckling softly, General Tiedoll continued to lend his assistance with his Innocence, all the while saying, "Though I should protect you too since most of the Exorcists are young. So, please don't handle this all on your own, Rue, and let me help you."

"…As you wish, General. But, do be careful."

Suddenly, it came so fast that nobody could've foreseen it. Before Rue registered what happened, a sharp pain emitted from her head and there had been a flash of blindingly white light. The next thing she knew, she looked around and saw the place had been deserted. However…

She found all three of her comrades on the ground, unmoving, a dark substance under their bodies. She couldn't bring herself to move to check up on them, but her blood turned cold. Then, a voice was heard.

"You see this? This was your entire fault."

That voice. Rue slowly looked up, fearing the worse, and her eyes widened to see him in front of her. But somehow, it didn't look right. She couldn't see his eyes, but that grin he had on his face felt wrong, really wrong.

And then, they made contact.

Dark brown eyes and that horrible smile on his face, a familiar sound of a bell echoing in the silent, desolate place.

"You couldn't even save me… Rue."

A hoarse scream ripped from her throat and everything went white again.

Thunder struck loudly at the same time and the remaining three Exorcists turned to the general direction when they heard their last companion screaming.

"The shorty…?" Kanda was the one to hear it first, running over there with Mugen gripped tightly in his hand.

"Rue's in trouble!" General Tiedoll cried out and followed suit, Marie not too far behind.

By the time they got there, thunder struck again and made everything go white. Then, in the midst of the light, they saw it.

Rue was confronted with an Akuma that looked just like their dead comrade, from the Exorcist uniform down pat to the Charity Bell. And she was fighting with him non-stop, aiming one blow after the other. But that wasn't what made them frozen to the ground. It was what they saw, concerning Rue.

Her eyes looked darker than before, an unreadable expression on her face. Certainly, she was showing she was alive by moving and all, but it didn't look right. Her movements were erratic and destructive and she didn't care what consequences came to her from this. All she wanted was end all of this. Deathtrap and Lifeline were glowing an ominous purple, a zapping sound heard, giving blow after blow to the Akuma.

"What did you do?" Kanda snarled to the Akuma, Mugen ready to strike him down.

"How could you ask me such a question, Kanda? That's hurtful to ask because I'm your comrade." "Daisya" chuckled darkly, the grin on his face widening more, dodging Rue's attacks with ease. "I did no harm. All I wanted was to greet you guys and Rue here is acting like she's seeing a ghost. Or maybe I wanted to remind her of the one thing she couldn't do. So now, she can't hear all of you because she is aiming at me.

"She is not the Rue you know. Take a very good look."

Looking as best they could, they saw it with their own eyes. The expression on her face was one of murderous fury, eyes that saw nothing but blood and darkness.

"That is Rafale you're seeing right now."

I won't have you mock me! Rue's thoughts were screaming this, a murderous fury taking total control of her. I won't let you mock me just because you're wearing my comrade's face!

I'll kill you!

oOo

Meanwhile, on the way to Edo, there had been an Akuma raid for the Cross unit. So many Akuma had been battling it out with the Exorcists and, currently, the Lvl. 3 Akuma, Eshi, had sunken the ship underwater.

It wasn't only Rue who was struggling with herself that night. Lenalee, too, was dealing with her own troubles in the battle as she clashed with Eshi head-on. But Eshi had the upper hand with his gravity control. Lenalee, who should've been floating on water because of the Dark Boots' technique, was now tied down by Eshi's gravity chains, trying to free herself from it and the ocean's dark depths.

But, even so, she wasn't going to give up. Having recalled the memory between her and Allen upon the aftermath of getting Krory, there was no way she could just die here.

If there is nobody left, even if the world is saved, I will be destroyed. Lenalee thought bleakly, having already embraced the fact that her friends in the Black Order made up the world and she cared more about them than the rest of humanity itself. So, please don't die. Please, don't go away anymore. For that, I… I…

"Ahhh?" From above the dark depths, Eshi drawled out thoughtfully, amused by the whole thing. "Are you struggling?"

Then, he sensed it. He sensed that she was still alive.

"Ah… Good girl. Come on up. I'll sink you deeper this time."

Responding to her thoughts, Lenalee's Innocence began glowing and materializing around her. Although her words couldn't be heard because of being underwater, she still said them.

"Innocence! Invoking maximum power! Release!"

Though still surrounded by Eshi's chains, they weren't trapping her anymore. As she zoomed her way up, Lenalee was thinking on what to do next and what she felt.

Eshi's Dark Matter has the power to control gravity. Once caught, there is no escape. But since Dark Matter and Innocence are polar opposites, by releasing my Innocence, I should be able to temporarily cancel his ability out.

Allen… I'm scared. For Suman's sake, you forcibly released your Innocence too, right? My synchro rate is 86%. We're not supposed to do this unless we're 100% synchro rate… Now, to find out the consequences…

Lenalee resurfaced, the swirling vortex signaling Eshi of her arrival. With an evil laughed, he cried out, "Welcome back!"

She flipped, making her stance and going in for the kill.

My Innocence isn't part of my body like yours. But, even so, for the sake of my world…

"I will… Take you out here and now!" She declared, zooming in to go with her resolve.

And so, it began. It was still a struggle for her to move since she was still tied down, but she was still able to give damage. Giving a solid kick to Eshi's face, Lenalee recovered herself, panting. Having enough, Eshi grabbed her wrist and told her, "It's over, girl. With my canceling abilities, you can barely even move. Eshi's body has now evolved into a close combat type. You cannot damage it."

"Close combat type…" It seemed as if she was almost talking to herself. "There are types of Lvl. 3 Akuma…?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I see…" Now, she found her conclusion, already thinking of a plan to defeat Eshi. "So, you're just one of the more stubborn types. I get it now."

Lavi… When I got back to the ship, I was going to apologize. Allen, you've suffered so much yet you're always looking out for me, thank you. I really shouldn't have borrowed this… Anita's precious hairband… Allen, I… I know you'll come back to us, that's what I've decided to believe in.

"So, Eshi is the stubborn type. Is that what you said…?"

A small, weak smile was aimed at the Akuma who held her still.

"Who knows?"

Markings were shown all over her body, even on her face.

"What are you doing?" Eshi asked suspiciously, noticing the marks.

So… These are the consequences… Lenalee noted. They're showing up sooner than I expected…

"I'm breaking…" She answered him, an unreadable look on her face.

"You musn't despair." He told her with a dark grin. "Killing is more fun when they're still squirming."

Looking at him straight in the eye, she told him determinedly with a tiny smile, "That… Won't happen. Because YOU will be the one to die first."

Hitomi: I know. *there's a small frown on her face* I know, the chapter was lame. *SHOT*

But I really had no other way to end the chapter on Rue's side. Originally, I was going to have her seem possessed (AKA by her Innocence), but I decided to save that later for the Ark arc because I already have everything planned out from there, concerning a certain Noah. *coughTykicough* Now, I am wondering how I'll end the Tiedoll unit's side of the Edo arc next chapter because let's just say Rue's not even at her breaking point.

"Seriously?" You ask. Yeah, seriously. Her fury for Tyki had finally came out, but she's ALMOST breaking away at her insanity. And that'll be during the Ark arc.

And did you see the surprise I gave you guys? Yep, obviously, Kanda and Rue's relationship changed a little after Daisya died. And it seems that he's helping her fulfill her revenge for Daisya, whether he's aware of it or not.

XD And I know. No mention of Lavi on the Cross unit's side except in Lenalee's thoughts. But, what can I do? You know what he thought of last chapter, so I'm pretty sure this is a sign that it's serious that he plans to be indifferent to Rue again. But, how will it turn out when the two meet? Oh, who knows?

And so, it ends like this. T.T I think this may be my worst chapter yet since the writer's block is still there. I hope you guys aren't disappointed about this.