Okay everyone I apologize for the lack of updates for this story, it just it takes a lot to explain many of the questions I have raised, I almost can't keep track. By the way, I have been SO busy with all the tests for school this week and everything for today...

Also! DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THE KNIFE THROWING SCENE! DEAR FINNICK...FREAKING OUT!

I'm done fangirling ;)...for today...while I update watching catching fire yet again

If there are any questions I have yet to answer besides WHO helped Tris, Marlene, & Uriah please post them in a review or PM me, I don't want to miss even the smallest detail! :)

Okay, now the long awaited chapter 36

Chapter 36

Nicola POV

The board in my room is covered in papers, maps, and pictures. Red string connecting every person on that board to the main event that is causing me so much confusion and curiosity.

My mother's 'death'.

I stare at the picture of Daddy, he didn't have anything to do with keeping her alive, I know that for sure. Not only does the timeline I have constructed prove that, but I realize that if he could have kept her alive and taken her with him he would have. He genuinely thought she was dead. Thus he isn't important to my investigation. I untack his picture and set it in a shoe box dedicated to my photos. I also cut his piece of string connecting him to her death.

I step back and look at the maps I have taped to the board, the one that circles the city we live in now is not important. We didn't find her here and she wasn't ever in the city until after we found her. I pull that down and toss it onto the floor. I pick up my notebook and flip through the pages, every possible theory I have is written here. I cross out every single one that has to do with Daddy or where we live now. Looking up at the board, I glance at Zeke and Shauna. They don't have anything to do this, I already know that for sure. They don't match up with my timeline either. I pull them down and cross out words from my notebook.

Who is left? I bite my lip and look at the map circling Chicago and where I guess we found Mom. I look at Nana Evelyn's picture, she definitely had something to do with Uriah. Is it possible she had something to do with Mom and Marlene?

I scribble down an idea in my notebook, I need to speak with Mom, Marlene, and Uriah. They might remember something that might give me a clue as to who has something to do with this. A small whimper from behind me grabs my attention, "did you wake up from your nap, NoNo?"

I lean over the crib Daddy bought me so I could watch Noah. He smiles at me with those big blue eyes and reaches towards my hair, setting him in my arms I pace the room staring at the moon outside. "You know how luck you are Noah? You're pretty lucky, let me tell you. Mom loves you and Daddy loves you and I love you. I am going to take such good care of you too. I am going to walk you to school everyday and pick you up everyday and tell you about girls. I am going to help you with your homework, except math. I go to Daddy for math and so should you. We are going to have some real fun together you know?"

He gurgles some type of reply, which I am taking as a yes. Someone knocks on my door and opens it, Mom steps into my room and pulls her hair back behind her ear, "I thought I heard him cry."

"He just woke up, Mom. He is fine." The doctor said she was going to be a little paranoid over Noah for the first couple of months.

"Are you sure? You're holding his neck right and everything?"

"Yes, Mom...Come look he is fine."

She walks towards me, tightening the blanket around her shoulders, and looks at Noah. "Is he hungry?"

"I don't think so. He hasn't cried."

She nods, "maybe I should take him, in case he is hungry."

"You haven't slept in days, Mom."

"I don't like being far from him is all. I mean you are bigger I can trust you to sleep peacefully through the night."

"I know, look if it's that big of a deal why don't you sleep in here with him. Since, Daddy has work early in the morning and needs the rest, you can be in here with him and make sure he is okay."

Mom smiles, "but what about you?"

"I'm working on something, you can sleep right there, the crib is right next to the bed."

Mom looks at me, "thanks, Nikki." She kisses my forehead and takes Noah from my arms. I turn and focus back on the board. "What is that, Nikki?"

"Honestly? It's my conspiracy board."

"Conspiracy?''

"Yes, conspiracy board. I want to find out who helped you, Uriah, and Marlene."

"Why?" She seems genuinely curious.

"I want to thank them."

Mom smiles, "your father raised you well."

"Both of you did."

"I didn't raise you Nicola. Not really. I didn't do what I'm doing now with Noah..."

"But you did in a way. All I ever heard were stories of how amazing you were and how brave you were. They made me want to be you. I was raised by your stories, the legend of who you were."

Mom blinks a few times, "do you still have those videos and pictures of you as a child?"

"Yeah, there in this box Daddy gave me, it's called my 'Memory Box'. Would you like to see it?" I want to work more on finding out the connections I am finding, but decide against. I won't get many opportunities to do this with my mother. I pull a small box from under my bed that Daddy brought when we fled our home in Chicago. I open it and pull the Memory Box out. "Daddy found this really important. So here..." I open it and set a package of pictures on her lap. I pull our the piece of glass at the bottom, "all my videos are on here."

Mom opens the package, "you were an adorable baby."

"That I was."

She flips through them, "you apparently also loved pink."

I laugh and look at the picture of me in a pink onesie with pink socks and pink shoes on. I even have a pink headband with a pink and yellow flower on the side. "Daddy just assumed pink was for me."

She goes through a few more, "you had a pink crib?"

"He built it himself, with Zeke's help. See that stroller," I point to a picture, "he had that custom made."

"Wow, you were spoiled."

I smile, "yeah I was. Oh this is me on the first day of school."

"Still in pink I see."

"Yes, but it was popular at the time."

Mom opens a small package attached to a picture, "what's this?"

"I think it's a lock of my hair from when I had my first hair cut."

Tris opens it and looks inside, "he really did save everything."

"I guess he was always hopping you would come back to him. Or maybe just that he would have something to reminisce on when I grow up."

She goes through the pictures and then looks at the glass, "can we watch the videos?"

"Sure" I press the glass and watch it light up, Daddy is sitting in a rocking chair with me, he is talking to me. Telling me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me, how much Mom would have loved me. I sit quietly as the video rolls past and Mom wipes a few small tears. It flashes to my first steps, Daddy opens his arms to me, then it flashes to him threatening Zeke because he said the lens was on the entire time. I giggle and hear Mom laughing beside me. The cameras continue to roll past the shots of my life. Each one bringing a smile to Mom's face, some making her cry, a few making her laugh. the screen goes dark, "that's it?"

"Well there is one he has for Noah. Although he needs to have some more milestones to add onto his 'Memory Box'."

I smile and lean my head on her shoulder, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Am I what you wanted for a daughter? Was I a disappointment to you?"

"Nicola."

I look away from her, worried she might find me a disappointment. "Nicola, look at me."

Tentatively I raise my eyes to Mom. She takes my jaw in her hand, "Nicola you are the most brave, intelligent, kind, selfless, and honest person I have come to know. My greatest achievment is having you for a daughter. You have made me proud, in fact, the proudest mother in the world. You never cease to amaze me and your father. I love you, Nikki and you won't ever be a disappointment to me, no matter what choices you make in your life."

I smile, "you really think that I'm that amazing?"

"I know you are that amazing."

I smile and look over at Noah sleeping in the crib, "you are amazing too, little NoNo."

For the first time in my life I feel good enough.

Sorry it's short but its the best I can do. I don't have much time this week. Sorry for the break, but I was busy and needed to take a rest.