Chapter 36: Secret Keeper
Summary: Charlie realizes he's not good at keeping secrets.
Charlie sighed as he poured himself another cup of tea. He felt a weight on his shoulders, a sense of regret and shame which he was not brave enough to deal with. He came from a family of Gryffindors and his lack of courage added to his shame. He looked at the door again, wishing Severus would just show up. It had been a week since Charlie had come back to England and his lover had not visited the order headquarter even once.
Charlie sighed again, If only he had gotten to number twelve Grimmauld Place an hour earlier that first day things would be different now. He could have talked to Severus and explained everything. They would have found a way to move on, or else broken up for good. He would have contacted the man if he knew where he lived. Remus had mentioned that Severus had moved out of Hogwarts for the summer and Charlie was not going to ask for more details. Nobody knew about their affair, except perhaps for McGonagall and Pomfrey, and Charlie didn't want to tell Remus of all people.
"Charlie, come give me a hand. Bill, call the others. Lunch is about ready." ordered his mother, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"Set the table, will you dear?" said Molly as he entered the kitchen.
Charlie complied without saying anything, preoccupied.
"Don't be that way, Charlie. All I said was that you needed to cut your hair."
"What?" asked Charlie, stopping mid-motion.
"You know exactly what I mean! You've barely said two words to me since you came." Molly accused.
Charlie rubbed at his forehead. "I'm not mad at you, mom. I just have a lot on my mind. That's all." he said, then glanced at his father who was pretending to read the paper.
"I wish you'd just tell me what's wrong. You didn't even come home for Christmas and now that you're here, you're acting like you don't want to spend any time with us."
"It's not like that." he protested.
"Have you met a girl?" asked Arthur, finally putting the paper down.
"Dad!"
"Come on, son. We just want to meet her. We won't embarrass you, I promise."
"There's no girl. What makes you …" Charlie started to say when a sharp tap to the window interrupted him. Recognizing the brown owl outside the window, he rushed over to let the bird in. Gagan flew in and landed on the table. He gave Charlie a once over, tilting his head to one side, then hooted as if in recognition.
'Is that for me?' he wanted to ask as his eyes fell on the letter tied to Gagan's leg, but stopped himself and instead reached over to take the owl's burden.
"Wow! That's a nice owl. Whose is it?" asked Bill, walking into the kitchen.
"Didn't you send us a letter with that owl Charlie?" asked his mother.
Charlie froze for a moment. "I did?" he said, trying to sound casual.
"You don't remember? You wrote to us after Harry won the tournament's first task." said Molly. "Isn't it the same owl, Arthur?"
"I think it is. I hadn't seen another bird like this before. I wanted to take a closer look, but it flew away right after delivering the letter."
"Oh, I remember now. It's from Hogwarts." said Charlie, swallowing hard.
"Who is the letter for?"
Charlie blinked in confusion for a second, then remembered the envelope in his hand. "It says … Remus Lupin." he read. If it was for anyone else he would have been relived but at seeing Remus' name he felt a pang of jealousy. Charlie dropped the letter to the table and glanced at the door. He could hear multiple footsteps outside. A few minutes later Ginny, Ron and Harry enter the kitchen followed by Remus, Sirius and the twins.
"That's Professor Snape's owl!" exclaimed Harry. "What's it doing here?"
"Is the owl Professor Snape's?" asked Molly, her eyebrows rising.
"Yeah, he … he let me borrow it." admitted Charlie, blushing a little.
His parents exchanged a look.
"That was nice of him." said his father.
"Is that for me?" asked Remus, picking up the letter. "Just as I thought. It's a list of ingredients Severus needs for those potions he's brewing for the order."
"Why is he sending it to you?" asked Sirius.
"Because I offered to help." answered the man.
Charlie greeted his teeth and tried to tune out Sirius and Remus' bickering. He ate his lunch quickly and slipped out of the kitchen, cursing when he heard Bill call after him.
"Hold on Charlie, I want to talk to you." said Bill, then grabbed his arm and dragged him into the library. "What's going on with you?" he asked once he made sure they were alone.
Charlie sighed in frustration. "I've already gone over this with mom and dad, there's nothing wrong with me." he grumbled.
"Then why do you get twitchy every time someone talks about Snape? Are you sleeping with him?"
"I'm not… What do you …" Carlie tried to lie but gave up at the skeptical look on his brother's face. "Fine, I've slept with him."
"More than once?"
"Twice. I mean, we got together twice. It happened a few times." said Charlie, blushing.
Bill leaned against one of the bookshelves, smirking. "Is he good?"
Charlie nodded and smirked back.
"Do you like him?"
"I think I do. He's so different from everyone else and he's completely opposite of what you'd expect. He's tender and passionate and caring and …" Charlie paused, trying to come up with the right word.
"And half-elf?" supplied Bill, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah. That's why I was attracted to him in the first place."
Bill snorted. "You were always the odd one, Charlie." he said.
"Why? Because I didn't want to study Arithmancy and work for Gringotts?" Charlie retorted.
Bill chuckled and shook his head. "When are you going to tell mom and dad?" he asked.
"I don't want to tell them. I'm not even sure if we're going to get serious or not. Telling mom and dad will only make things more awkward." answered Charlie.
"The way you're carrying out, they're going to find out sooner or later." Bill pointed out.
Charlie sighed. "I don't really know much about him. I've tried but he doesn't like to talk about himself."
"You're just going to have to try harder or break it off. Snape's not someone you'd want to fool around with, not if you want to keep it quiet. He's been our teacher, he still teaches our brothers and sister and he's part of the order."
"I wish it was that easy." murmured Charlie. First he had to tell Severus what he had done. Who knew how the man would react? And the whole thing with Remus was making things more complicated. "I'll talk to him as soon as I can." he said finally.