I don't normally condone the use of soundtrack songs in Twific… but this was too perfect to pass up. October is breast cancer awareness month. Please, please, please take the time to have yourself checked out. If you know someone who is fighting cancer, breast cancer or another kind, keep your head up and remember that you have people praying for you. – JFI

Fight like a girl, ladies! Get your boobies checked!

"Time stands still. Beauty in all she is. I will be brave; I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years and I love you for a thousand more." A Thousand Years, Christina Perri

Grab a tissue. You've been warned.

Bella

Everyone kept telling me that routine was important. It was a way to remind myself that life kept going, that I had to keep going. So, like every other night before going to bed, I sat at my vanity and studied the reflection staring back at me. Same brown eyes… those hadn't changed. My lips, still a little uneven, looked the same as they always had. But the brown hair that had always hung around my shoulders, was now cut short and so thin that you could see the skin of my scalp. My skin, which had always been pale, looked paper thin… and worn. I sighed before looking away and instead concentrated on carefully rubbing lotion over my hands, ignoring the bruises that covered the backs of them.

I heard Edward's footsteps coming down the hall and closed my eyes, silently praying that I would be able to hide the fear for just one more day. I just wanted another night, another normal day, before we got the results tomorrow. Then… once I knew… then I would… I would tell them how scared I really was.

"Abbey called," Edward said quietly, moving to stand behind me. I looked up and our eyes met in the mirror. "She's meeting us at the hospital in the morning. Tripp is taking the girls to the aquarium with Alice and Jasper."

Nodding, I finished my nightly routine; counting out pills from the rows of orange bottles that were lined up on my vanity counter. Something to help with the pain, another to help my immune system, anti-depressants, vitamins, blood pressure medication… I put one in my mouth at a time before swallowing them down with the water that Edward had brought me. When I was finished, I sat the glass down with a shaking and unsteady hand.

"Bella?"

The caution in Edward's voice made me sick to my stomach. So I took a deep breath, steeled my resolve, and then turned in my chair to smile up at him. My hand reached out to hold his hand, and like always, my fingertips traced over his to feel the calluses that had become permanent after so many years of guitar playing.

"I'm ready for bed."

He nodded, helping me out of the chair, and then watched as I fumbled with the tie on my bathrobe. I pulled at the ties, trying desperately to just make my hands work, but stopped when Edward took over the task. With gentle movements, he untied the belt, letting the fabric of the robe fall away from my body. When his hand carefully touched the skin of my stomach, and then my chest, I closed my eyes.

"Do you remember," he said, hardly in a whisper. "That night in Austin? The first night?"

I nodded.

"You were so… scared that I would look at your body and see nothing but imperfections."

"Edward," I touched his arm. We couldn't do this, especially not tonight. A sad and depressing trip down memory lane was not what either one of us needed.

With feather light touches, his fingers traced over the two scar long scars that covered my chest. I closed my eyes, trying to fight off the memory of how it had felt to realize that I'd been diagnosed with cancer. How scared I'd been, still was, for my family. Who was going to help Abbey with her girls? Who was going to calm all of her fears of being a parent? Who would make sure that Edward wasn't eating too much salt? Who would make sure that his car keys ended up on the hook by the back door? If something happened to me, who would take care of my family?

"I love you."

With those three words, I made myself shake off the negative feelings that left me feeling like a ticking time bomb. Instead, I focused on… the meaning behind those words. Eight letters that could mend a broken heart, help you see a light at the end of a dark tunnel… Those three words were… everything now.

I had every right to be scared. Who wouldn't be in my situation? But I also had so much to be thankful for. I had an amazing marriage to a man that loved me, unconditionally. He was my best friend. My lover. My soul mate. Edward was my everything. And together we'd lived one hell of a life. We'd seen too many sunsets and sunrises to count, but yet each one was memorable. We'd made love all night, sleeping for a few hours, and then waking up because we just couldn't get enough of each other. And then, there was Abbey. How blessed was I to know what a magical thing being a mother was? To see my daughter, who was the spitting image of her father, grow up to be the incredible woman that she was? I'd watched her take her first steps on shaking legs, walking towards her father. Saw her grow and learn from mistakes and heart ache that ultimately led her to the place in life that she was now. I'd watched as her father walked her down the aisle on the day that she married her best friend, and held her hand as she delivered two of the most beautiful little girls I'd ever seen.

So looking back, at my life, why did I need to feel scared? I'd lived. I'd lived really, really, well. I looked back without regrets and loved without fear. My life hadn't been perfect, but it was mine. And I'd shared it with the most amazing man that God had ever made. So now, standing in my bedroom, I refused to let fear tarnish any part of that.

"Edward," I whispered before kissing him. "I need you to do me a favor."

He nodded, not even asking what I wanted.

"Tomorrow, when we go…" I took a deep breath. "I don't want you to be in there when I talk to the doctor."

As expected, he started protesting, but stopped when I gently laid a finger over his lips.

"I don't want Abbey in there and I don't want her by herself. She needs one of us with her, Edward. And… it has to be you."

I hated the look of hurt that made his eyes seem heavy and unfamiliar. I knew he wouldn't like my decision but I also knew that if the results came back with bad news thet I wouldn't be able to hold myself together in front of him.

"You don't have to do this alone, Bella. I'm… we're strong enough to do this together."

I smiled because he was absolutely right. We were strong enough together. And if, when, it came time for me leave them… they would make it. They would cry. They would mourn. But I knew, without a doubt, that my family would be able to look back on the life I'd lived, that I'd shared with them, and know that together… we we're strong enough to overcome anything.

xXxXxXx

When I'd left Edward and Abbey in the waiting room, I knew that it was going to be a moment that I wouldn't ever forget. Which seemed kind of odd. Most people remembered weddings, first kisses, birthdays… but I would always remember the way my husband and daughter had looked in the waiting room of my oncologist's office.

Abbey, trying so hard not to seem like the little girl that was worried she was going to lose her mother. Edward, my poor Edward, fighting back his own tears so neither one of us would see him cry. He'd squeezed my hand as I stood up, and without saying anything, reminded me how much he loved me. So simple. So small. And something I wouldn't ever forget.

While I waited for the doctor, I couldn't help but smile at the memories that played through my mind. Images of Jasper and I when we were in high school; the first time I'd met Alice and how ridiculous I'd looked when she'd talked me into dressing up as a fairy for Halloween.

I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle my laughter as I remembered the time we'd accidently left Emmett at a gas station in Tennessee. He'd been so mad. And then there were all of the late night conversations that were held in the back of the suburban. Sleeping in crappy hotels… God, I'd loved that summer.

As my memories moved into later years with Edward, I closed my eyes and felt my heart beat quicken. I never would have thought that I could look back on what had happened between us have absolutely no regrets. But now, all these years later, I could. It was easy when the bad were replaced by the magnificent. The fights, the hurt, covered by memories of sitting at the Grammy awards and hearing a declaration of love, a wedding proposal on a porch swing, the look on Edward's face when I'd told him we were going to have a baby. And then, seeing him so many years later, holding our granddaughters. No… there was nothing to regret. There were only things to cherish.

"Bella?"

I opened my eyes, wiped away the few tears that had made their way down my cheeks, and then took a deep breath. "Doctor Adams."

"Are you alright?" He carefully sat down behind his desk, laying my chart down.

"I'm…"I cleared my throat and then tried again. "I'm ready to know the results. I don't want any fancy medical terms or explanations. Just tell me if the treatments worked or if I… if I need to go out to the lobby and lie to my family."

"Bella, Edward wouldn't-"

"This isn't Edward's call, Dr. Adams. If you open that chart and tell me that it didn't work, that I went through chemo and let you chop off my boobs for no reason then… I don't want him, or Abbey, to know. I want to walk out of here and spend what time I do have left enjoying my life. And that wouldn't include watching my husband and daughter mourn me before I'm even dead. So just… tell me. I'm ready and I want to know. Did I beat this?"

It seemed like an eternity before he opened my chart, but when he did, I could have sworn that time itself had stopped.

"Bella, this is one of the rare situations when I am actually pleased by the fact that I was wrong. You beat it. You're in remission."

Without warning, my eyes closed, and a horrible gasping sound filled his office. It wasn't until the doctor had me by the shoulders that I even realized the noise was coming from my mouth.

"Are you alright? What…" he shook his head. "Is there something I can do?" All I could do was cry and hold on to front of his white jacket. "Do you need water? Anything?"

I shook my head and finally managed to say something. "I just… I need… I want my family."

The doctor carefully sat me back in my chair, said something about being right back, and left me in his office.

After he was gone, I closed my eyes and held my hands against my chest, covering my heart. "Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you for not making me say good-bye yet."

AN: If I made you cry I am sorry. But the reality is that millions of families go through this situation every day. Not all of them end with happy results. Take a minute today to say a prayer for those fighting cancer, taking care of a family member with cancer, or struggling with the grief of losing someone they love due to this horrible disease.