Chapter 37

"I just had a nightmare, that is all." That really was all. Half the things that were said were fake images, things that weren't even said…well towards the end of the dreams anyways when everything blurred together. I am still wanted. I am still needed.

"That is good to hear." Leliana told me as she looked caringly down at me. WE had such a… well An Interesting past would be the best word to describe it. When we first met I thought she was absolutely crazy, but I accepted her help anyways because she could clearly fight and we could always use help for the Blight. Then at camp she got me talking about shoes. Even though I've lived in Ferelden my whole life I love fashions and so over the topic of Orlesian fashion we opened up to each other.

What happened next with Leliana was something I should have seen coming. She complimented my hair one day and I was happy and found myself feeling happy just being with her. It wasn't love. My heart was already devoted to…a grey warden, even though he hadn't even shown signs of returning my feelings. Not that I expected him to I was in love with him from the moment I heard him teasing a mage at Ostagar.

But nonetheless I was happy to be around Leliana. It was as if she was in a bubble. When I was with her we were just two girls talking as though the world were normal, she wasn't a bard and I a mage, we were just two normal women. We weren't fighting a blight we were just talking in front of a fire. And that was a nice feeling, and that nice feeling came with being around Leliana. So when she told me she wanted to be together I told her I don't know. But I didn't think properly and before Morrigan, shale, the only other grey warden in Ferelden and myself headed off to the tower as our first destination after Lothering I told her I felt the same way. I told her I couldn't be happier and she was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I sincerely thought I meant it.

Well after the tower had been saved I accepted Wynn's help. I had many meaningful and helpful conversations with her. Then the one that changed Leliana and my relationship.

"You're quite taken with each other aren't you?" Wynne had asked me that night at camp. I asked her who and she informed me Leliana. She also told me I should end it before I cause her too much pain when I have to choose my duty over my love. I hated her for it and went to Orzammar with Alistair, Morrigan, and Shale. But all through it I thought of how much I was falling for Alistair and how Wynne was right. I finished all my tasks and while making camp I decided upon how I would break up with Leliana. I never got that chance. I can barely remember the conversation because I have blocked it from my memory but it went something like:

"Hi Lel-" I began

"You're in love with Alistair!" She accused, interrupting me.

"What?" I asked taken aback.

"Do not pretend! I am not blind! What are you doing? Playing with my feelings?" She asked angry and hurt.

"Of course not!" I defended because it was true.

"Then are you playing with his feelings? Because, Lenobia, that is just wrong! He absolutely adores you."

"I know…" I trailed off guiltily.

"So does this mean everything you've said to me was untrue?" I swore I could see tears forming in her eyes.

"No, Leliana I meant everything I said to you it is just now… I think Alistair is better for me." I looked away not being able to take the hurt in her eyes.

"Oh… I see." She said as she turned away from me, looking up to the sky. So I left her in peace.

After that I went and helped Oghren get Felsi back, then we visited Shale's old Thaig, and finally went back to the Kocari Wilds to kill Flemeth and succeeded. When I returned to camp Leliana approached me and this conversation is one I remember exactly.

"You know I think I'm glad that Alistair and you have found each other. He is a good man.

"I hope your not upset."

"No, Well, not anymore." she paused then a huge smile spreading across her face like the one I knew so many times before, "So…Details! How did this all start? Where is it going? Let me live vicariously through you, yes?"

I laughed. "Okay well, It kind of started at Ostagar but then didn't think too much of it. Anyways he gave me a rose once and said…."

We spent the rest of the night talking about Alistair and I and Sketch and herself.

"Yes it is good to hear." I told her standing up and pulling myself back to the present. "And this is Sketch?" I asked looking at the elf who was about Leliana's height and very attractive with brown hair and wearing blue robes, clearly a mage.

"Yes, you must be Lenobia." He said extending his hand. I gave Leliana a 'did you get your happy ending?' look and she nodded almost imperceptibly smiling. So Instead I hugged sketch, taking him by surprise, I pulled back, my hands on his shoulders and smiled.

"You know, she waited along time and fought for her life to get you." He nodded. "And she is very much in love with you."

"And I am very much in love with her." He added.

"Wonderful!" I exclaimed cheerfully and in that same tone added, "Now she has been hurt one to many times and if you ever hurt her again I will snap that pretty head off those shoulders, Mage or no."

He looked shocked and worried until Leliana started laughing and hugged me. Sketch laughed as well. "I am so glad you haven't changed!" Leliana exclaimed, then turning to sketch. "I've already told her much about you and she will treat you like family no questions, as you can tell."

Sketch smiled, and it was a nice smile I could see how one could fall for him. Not that I was interested, I wasn't in the least. "Well I'm glad to hear it." Sketch said.

I sighed. "I do wish this happiness could last but you have caught me at a dire time."

Leliana took on a more serious expression. "What is it?" then she whispered, "Is it Alistair?"

"I half smiled. "Partially, yes, but that is not my main concern. As of now Alistair hates my guts and never wants to see me again. I found myself utterly lost and wandered onto Morrigan's doorstep."

"No." Leliana gasped appalled, surprised, and interested.

"Yes! And I fear a blight is upon us."

"Wait, we just had a blight a year and a half ago." Sketch questioned.

"Yes I know, which is why I fear few will believe me when I say that we have another one and to be worse it is disguised and unlike anything we've seen before."

"What do you mean?"

"Really I would rather explain this to everyone at once. I have the other Grey Wardens, save for Alistair, at Soldiers Peak. We shall confer there, however I would like to get Morrigan to join us, as well as Alistair."

"Are those the only ones from our party left in Ferelden?"

"To my knowledge Wynne is in the tower, but I can send word and she will come without question, Zevran and Shiri have been made Grey Wardens-"

"Shiri?" Leliana asked.

"Oh she is a Dalish elf…well not really anymore, who I met and Zevran fell in love with, both have been made grey Wardens at their own choice."

"Wow, much has changed." Leliana said contemplatively.

"Continue." Sketch urged.

"Oh yes, and I believe Shale is in the deep roads, Oghren is living at Lake Callenhad with Felsi. And I think Sten is still with the Qunari."

"No he isn't." Sketch said.

"You know Sten? How?"

"Oh he doesn't. We ran into him in Lothering, he was actually just passing by Lothering." Leliana informed me.

"Yes, we tried to get him to come and have a drink or maybe a meal with us but he was adamant about not going to Lothering." Sketch shrugged.

"Well he's had troubles. Do you know where he was headed?"

"All he said was south, I am thinking maybe Ostagar."

"Well he was always curious about that…hmmm Could you maybe help me?"

"of course." Sketch and Leliana answered together.

"Great." I smiled. "Here is what I need you to do, go into Ostagar and convince Sten to come up to soldiers peak, he will probably know how to get there on his own, then, even though she doesn't like you, I need you to try to convince Morrigan to come to Soldiers peak."

"Why me?" Leliana asked obviously not wanting to see Morrigan again.

"Because she hates me and doesn't trust me."

"That seems to be the case with many people right now." Sketch observed.

I nodded solemnly, "Unfortunately. Anyways, I will send word to Alistair and Retrieve Oghren and Shale. Wynne will get message and be on her way, you will most likely arrive there before me so just tell Levi that I sent you and you are friends or the grey wardens. He should let you in no problem but should trouble arise just have Zevran vouch for you."

"It is good to see you and be safe." Leliana told me hugging me again.

"Nice to meet you Lenobia. We will see you soon." He hugged me as well and headed in the direction of Morrigan's house. I guess they are going for the hardest first, I suppose I should send my messages out now to Alistair and Wynne and then go get Shale.

Without looking back I focused my mind on only one thing: Finding Shale. It should be nice to see…her, er it, again. I smiled to myself and set off.