Chapter Thirty-Nine

"Just remember what I told you and this will all be fine," Blight whispered in Johanna's ear before turning to head back into the audience. "And sit on your hands, you talk too much with them."

Johanna watched as her mentor disappeared and tried not to roll her eyes at him. She knew he was trying to look out for her, but at the moment she was in no mood to be looked after. She just wanted to be alone, a thing which seemed impossible in the Capitol. Everywhere she went, Blight was mere seconds away. Anytime she went for a glass of water, someone would congratulate her on killing abilities. She just wanted to be home, just wanted to be back with her dad and Jason where she could forget about all of this, or at least attempt to.

"Ladies and gentlemen it gives me great honor to introduce to you the victor of the 68th Hunger Games. You know her; you love her ability to swing an axe and some how still look like a little angel. Please welcome Johanna Mason!" Caesars introduction brought about cheers and whoops from the crowd that reminded Johanna of a thunderstorm she had once had the misfortune to get caught in.

Johanna walked onto the stage, the slit in the front of her dress revealing most of her legs; where the bottom half was quite loose and seemed to float around her effortlessly, the top half was gathered into a center point, pulling what little material there was right into her torso. She had complained greatly about the slits in the side of the dress and the low cut top, but Prima had insisted that it was all the rage in the Capitol and Johanna had been in no mood to try and reason with her.

"Well don't you look a star!" Caesar greeted her taking one of her hands and holding it up. The crowd stood and began to throw what appeared to be roses onto the stage. Caesar led the small girl into a bow, hoping she was prepared for the explanation he'd been ordered to get out of her. "Please, take a seat. So you really had us going for a while there, what with that four in training and all!"

"I guess I just had a bad day."

"Well just as well you didn't have one of those in the arena!" he paused for the crowd to laugh, which they did, perfectly on cue as ever. Johanna wondered if he actually found the jokes funny himself, or if he simply knew the citizens of the Capitol that well.

"Just as well everyone else in the arena seemed to have one of those days," she corrected him.

"Oh come now, you're skills with the axe were some of legend!"

"Well being from Seven I guess I've just had a lot of practice with them. We've always had some lying around the house and not having many other toys to play with I guess they just seemed like the next best thing," she lied. Training for the Games was illegal and even though it was known that One and Two had special academies she doubted the Capitol would look at her training with Jason the same way they looked at their precious Careers.

"Well that skill has definitely come in handy for you. Now I know you must be excited to watch the re-cap I know we all are aren't we?" Caesar waited for the crowd to respond and Johanna felt her stomach knot up like nothing she'd ever known.

"I don't think I could bear the thought of waiting a single moment longer," Johanna replied, trying her best to make her words sound convincing. She knew she wasn't great at it, but even then it was probably enough to fool the citizens of the Capitol. She hoped her father and Jason weren't fooled though, hoped they could tell she just wanted to come home to them and then they could carry on their lives and act like nothing had happened.

She tried not to watch as the brutal killings began. First the bloodbath where the Careers maliciously took out anyone tiny enough and stupid enough to try and take them on. She felt her stomach tighten as she watched Orson begin decapitated by the boy from Two. She wanted to be sick, more than that she wanted to run off the stage and away from the horrors she knew were coming. Currently she could convince herself that her killing had been some other part of her mind taking over, a darker side that she could remove. Actually watching herself killing would remove any chance of that. To look at what her face did as she stabbed and hacked at the children who had had been just as alive as she was; who had the right to live just as much as she did.

She tried to make her eyes look through the screen rather than at it, trying not focus on the image of her killing the girl form Five. Her hands tightened on the edge of the seat and she took deeper breaths, trying to steady herself.

She watched as Cathella died. Watched as she held the girl close to her almost like she was willing the life to flow out of herself and into the dying girl. She remembered then how it felt; knowing that even the strongest would fall. The realization that at the end of this there would be only one and that one had to be her.

Then she found herself unable to remove her eyes from the screen as she watched herself hunt and kill the other children left in the arena. She wanted to break down and apologize to Panem for what she'd done, to pray and beg for some form of forgiveness that she didn't deserve but she knew she couldn't. Not here. Not yet.

Her eyes became less focused as she killed the great tiger, she didn't feel so guilty about that as it wasn't human, it had no one to care for it except the cruel Gamemakers who'd created it.

Then there was Silk; the final fight between her and the boy from four became far more dramatic with the music and the changing camera angles. However the outcome was the same, Silk was left standing alone surrounded by the bloodied snow. The angle changed once again for Johanna's final action in the Game. The camera was on the ground pointing towards the Cornucopia so when Johanna made her flying leap towards Silk it looked like she was falling from the sky.

Johanna suddenly found herself very grateful she had refused dinner that night as she watched Silks face change from an expression of pride to one of crippling pain. Johanna hadn't imagined what it must feel like to actually die. To feel as the blade pierced the skin and the nerves contained within it before cracking ruthlessly through the skull and meeting the fleshy brain. The pain would be the thing that killed her.

"Well what an ending you gave us there Miss Mason," Caesar commented as the screen turned black and snapped Johanna back into the present. She wanted to cry. Wanted this to be over. But of course it wouldn't be, this was the part they wanted to see. They wanted to know how she felt about becoming a cold-blooded killer purely for their entertainment, wanted to see if she was proud, upset, horrified or just in shock. Because it was what they wanted to see, she gave them nothing. She kept her face relaxed, and focused instead on looking at the many sparkles on Caesar's suit, noticing the patterns they made.

"Why thank you Caesar, I wouldn't liked to have disappointed you," her flat words brought the crowd into a frenzy of cheers. She ignored them as she mentally slapped herself for using Sophia's words at a time like this.

"Oh and you definitely did not! So tell us, what made you climb onto the Cornucopia?"

"I just figured since Silk was at the top of the food chain, she didn't have any reason to look up. So up was the safest place to be."

"And what an idea that turned out to be. Miss Mason we simply wouldn't dream of holding you from your celebrations any longer as I know you must have many fabulous parties to attend to now, as will the rest of us," he paused once again, allowing the crowd to roar in agreement. "So until our interview tomorrow, I bid you a goodnight!"

Once again Johanna was on her feet, bowing to the crowd. However her eyes were not on the crowd instead she looked up into the sky and tried to ignore the tightness in her chest as she realized there was now four overly bright stars in the sky.

Author's Note: Whoop whoop 50 reviews! You guys are legends! :D Also if any of you want to see the dress Johanna was wearing let me know and I'll find some way to link it to you :) Anyways now that I have 50 reviews naturally I'm becoming selfish and asking for some more… pretty please? :) And a huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far you guys have made my day so many times I can't even count (well, 50 times roughly) and make me wanna keep writing! So massive thanks a thousand times over and hope you're still enjoying the story! :)

-R