For the remainder of the night I was taken to a solitary cell. The cop who escorted me there had said it was where "the really disturbed people go." I wasn't disturbed. I hadn't lost my mind, but I knew in this place I would. It was a solid white room not any longer then ten feet, with one bed, a toilet, and no windows except for the small cutout on the door the cops would peak in during patrols. I never felt so alone, so isolated from the world. Even sitting there for a few hours on the hard mattress of the bed proved to me how people could go insane.

There was no light, no sound, just drowning in your own thoughts and if you wanted those gone; silence. It was an endless pit of silence interlacing every corner; every particle of space in the room. The only thing I could hear that stopped me from believing I was dead was my breathing. I heard the slow inhalation of air rising through my lungs and expanding my chest; up and down continuously, endlessly.

I allowed my thoughts to wonder with a boundary of not going past what could happen to me. I thought of Clare, how much I wanted to see her face, hear her speak, touch her, and kiss her. Then I thought of Adam how much I wanted to listen to another joke, have another talk with him. I wanted to be a human, a free being that for once my actions wouldn't follow me.

I knew it was early daylight due to the shuffling of officers pacing through the hallways. One came up to my cell unlocked the door and pulled me out. "You got visitors here," was all he said and I couldn't even begin to imagine the look of relief and joy upon my face. I almost skipped my way down the corridor of cells to the holding room once more.

As soon as I went inside, I saw Clare. She looked tired with puffy red eyes and slightly disheveled hair, but to me she was still beautiful.

I heard the cop who escorted me say I had thirty minutes. It seemed like such a short time, but just seeing Clare made time not a factor.

"Clare, words can't describe how happy I am to see you."

She smiled weakly. "Eli, what's going to happen to you?" I could almost feel the fear penetrating me from her eyes.

I took my hands in hers. "Honestly Clare, I don't know. The guy who took me in last night said I was probably going to be here a long time."

That didn't lesson up Clare's expression at all. "Define a long time."

"All I know is that I have to wait for a hearing and that could take months or years even."

"Y… years?" Clare's voice stumbled. Her lip was quivering.

"I know it's scary, Clare. I c… can't even begin to tell you how terrified I am." The hard knot was back in my throat. I tried to be strong, but seeing Clare break down enabled me to want to do the same. I squeezed her hand trying to give her some sense of comfort.

"W…what's going to h…happen to us?" Tears were pouring from her face like a waterfall.

"Nothing, n…nothing is going to change." I let my hair cover my eyes hoping she wouldn't see I was beginning to tear up.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Clare Edwards, no matter how much time goes by, my feelings for you will never vanish. You're everything to me." I titled her chin upward and wiped away her tears with the side of my palm.

She sniffled, but tears were no longer falling. "I want you to know Eli that I will be here to visit you everyday whether it is before school, after school, or even during. I'm going to watch you get through this."

"I can't ask you to do that, Clare. You need to have a life. You don't need to be here everyday. It'll get to you. It's already getting to me." I slightly shivered at the thought of having to go back to solitaire.

"You're not asking me, Eli. I'm doing this for myself, but know this. You are one of the bravest and solid people I've ever met and I know you can fight this."

I let out a small smile and began to play with her hands. Just her touch made things seem so much better off then they were.

"If it makes you feel any better my mom is willing to help out with whatever she can."

I couldn't force my laughter inside. "As much as I appreciate that I don't know how much she could do for me. "

"It's worth a shot."

I agreed with her and there a mild pause before either of us spoke again. In that moment, I felt slightly overwhelmed. Thoughts surrounded my head. What if I never got out of here? What if I got convicted? What would happen to Clare? What would happen to me? I wouldn't be able to handle it; the cut off from the people I cared out, the lack of something but the indoors. What would I do for twenty four hours each and every day if I had to stay in this prison?

"Eli, are you okay?" Clare's voice broke through to me. I felt myself slowly returning to a calmer state.

"I need you to have something Clare."

Her eyes expanded. I reached my hand into the small pocket of my jumpsuit and pulled out my skull ring. I huddled low over the table making sure no one outside could see.

"How did you get that?" Clare whispered hastily.

"I stole it off the desk over there." I gestured my head towards the front desk which was in direct crossings from my cell to the holding room.

I opened up Clare's hand and placed it directly in the middle of her palm. "I want you to know Clare that I'm always going to be with you. This ring is a symbol of that, a symbol that will hopefully remind you of me even if I can't physically be present with you. It's something I've always treasured Clare and since I hold you close to my heart, I think it's rightfully yours." I watched her other hand take it and delicately place it on her ring finger.

"I'll never take it off, Eli. I promise."

I pulled her in close and kissed the top of her forehead. "I know. Just promise that you'll never forget me."

She seemed for a minute almost insulted. "How could I ever forget you? You are and always will be my first love, the first person who has truly shown me what it's like to be completely grateful for all that I have."

"They say first loves will always find their way back to each other," I replied.

With that being said, I leaned over and kissed Clare. I took in every moment of the kiss. Her lips were so plump and delicate as they locked with mine. Her nose was just slightly brushing against my cheek. I felt her hands guide upward towards the top of my back and wrap around. I felt safe in her arms and I pressed my lips even harder upon hers. I didn't want to miss out in case this was the last time I ever got the chance to kiss her.

I bit at her lip for a change and my tongue collided into her teeth, but it wasn't a barrier for long. She let my tongue enter into her mouth and I kept kissing her as intensely as I could. I felt the range of emotions run through me like I was being shocked by a bolt of lightning. Goosebumps emerged on my skin as a blend of our sadness, our love, our hope, our wanting to be together flooded our kiss.

There was a knock on the window and Clare and I let go of each other.

"One minute," an officer mouthed to me.

Clare's eyes were hard to make out at this point. I couldn't tell what was written in them. The blueness of her eyes was a defense, a hard outer shell of what Clare was experiencing.

I couldn't express the sadness I felt at that point knowing that she would have to leave in less then a minute. I said all I could. "I love you Clare so very much and I want you to know I'm always with you." I placed her hand on her heart. "That slow beating, I'm a part of it now."

Her expression flickered to a depression I was unable to look at. "Eli, why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

"It's never goodbye, Clare. It's more like I'll see you soon."

I kissed her one last time savoring every ounce of Clare's soul I could manage in that last kiss. I watched her be led out, tears in her eyes once more.